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(Enter BLEPHARO and SOSIA, at a distance.)
BLEPHARO
What’s this, Sosia? Great marvels are these that you are telling of. Do you say that you found another Sosia at home exactly like yourself?
What’s this, Sosia? Great marvels are these that you are telling of. Do you say that you found another Sosia at home exactly like yourself?
SOSIA
I do say so—but, hark you, since I have produced a Sosia, Amphitryon an Amphitryon, how do you know whether you, perchance, may not be producing another Blepharo? O that the Gods would grant that you as well, belaboured with fists, and with your teeth knocked out, going without your breakfast, might credit this. ForI, that other Sosia, that is to say, who am yonder, has mauled me in a dreadful manner.
I do say so—but, hark you, since I have produced a Sosia, Amphitryon an Amphitryon, how do you know whether you, perchance, may not be producing another Blepharo? O that the Gods would grant that you as well, belaboured with fists, and with your teeth knocked out, going without your breakfast, might credit this. ForI, that other Sosia, that is to say, who am yonder, has mauled me in a dreadful manner.
BLEPHARO
Really, it is wonderful; but it’s as well to mend our pace; for, as I perceive, Amphitryon is waiting for us, and my empty stomach is grumbling.
Really, it is wonderful; but it’s as well to mend our pace; for, as I perceive, Amphitryon is waiting for us, and my empty stomach is grumbling.
AMPHITRYON
(apart.)
—And why do I mention foreign legends? More wondrous things they relate to have happened among our Theban race
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in former days; that mighty searcher for Europa, attacking the monster sprung from Mars, suddenly produced his enemies from the serpent-seed; and in that battle fought, brother pressed on brother with lance and helm; the Epirote land, too, beheld the author of our race, together with the daughter of Venus
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, gliding as serpents. From on high supreme Jove thus willed it; thus destiny directs. All the noblest of our country, in return for their bright achievements, are pursued with direful woes. This fatality is pressing hard on me—still I could endure disasters so great, and submit to woes hardly to be endured—
—And why do I mention foreign legends? More wondrous things they relate to have happened among our Theban race
1
in former days; that mighty searcher for Europa, attacking the monster sprung from Mars, suddenly produced his enemies from the serpent-seed; and in that battle fought, brother pressed on brother with lance and helm; the Epirote land, too, beheld the author of our race, together with the daughter of Venus
2
, gliding as serpents. From on high supreme Jove thus willed it; thus destiny directs. All the noblest of our country, in return for their bright achievements, are pursued with direful woes. This fatality is pressing hard on me—still I could endure disasters so great, and submit to woes hardly to be endured—
SOSIA
Blepharo.
Blepharo.
BLEPHARO
What’s the matter?
What’s the matter?
SOSIA
I don’t know; I suspect something wrong.
I don’t know; I suspect something wrong.
BLEPHARO
Why?
Why?
SOSIA
Look, please, our master, like an humble courtier
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, is walking before the door bolted fast.
Look, please, our master, like an humble courtier
3
, is walking before the door bolted fast.
BLEPHARO
It’s nothing; walking to and fro, he’s looking for an appetite
4
.
It’s nothing; walking to and fro, he’s looking for an appetite
4
.
SOSIA
After a singular fashion, indeed; for he has shut the door, that it mayn’t escape out of the house.
After a singular fashion, indeed; for he has shut the door, that it mayn’t escape out of the house.
BLEPHARO
You do go yelping on.
You do go yelping on.
SOSIA
I go neither yelping on nor barking on; if you listen to me, observe him. I don’t know why he’s by himself alone; he’s making some calculation, I suppose. I can hear from this spot what he says— don’t be in a hurry.
I go neither yelping on nor barking on; if you listen to me, observe him. I don’t know why he’s by himself alone; he’s making some calculation, I suppose. I can hear from this spot what he says— don’t be in a hurry.
AMPHITRYON
(apart.)
How much I fear lest the Gods should blot out the glory I have acquired in the conquest of the foe. In wondrous manner do I see the whole of my household in commotion. And then my wife, so full of viciousness, incontinence, and dishonor, kills me outright. But about the goblet, it is a singular thing; yet the seal was properly affixed. And what besides? She recounted to me the battles I had fought; Pterelas, too, besieged and bravely slain by my own hand, Aye, aye—now I know the trick; this was done by Sosia’s contrivance, who as well has disgracefully presumed to-day to get before me on my arrival.
How much I fear lest the Gods should blot out the glory I have acquired in the conquest of the foe. In wondrous manner do I see the whole of my household in commotion. And then my wife, so full of viciousness, incontinence, and dishonor, kills me outright. But about the goblet, it is a singular thing; yet the seal was properly affixed. And what besides? She recounted to me the battles I had fought; Pterelas, too, besieged and bravely slain by my own hand, Aye, aye—now I know the trick; this was done by Sosia’s contrivance, who as well has disgracefully presumed to-day to get before me on my arrival.
SOSIA
(to BLEPHARO.)
He’s talking about me, and in terms that I had rather not. Prithee, don’t let’s accost this man until he has disclosed his wrath.
He’s talking about me, and in terms that I had rather not. Prithee, don’t let’s accost this man until he has disclosed his wrath.
BLEPHARO
Just as you please.
Just as you please.
AMPHITRYON
(apart.)
If it is granted me this day to lay hold of that whip-scoundrel, I’ll show him what it is to deceive his master, and to assail me with threats and tricks.
If it is granted me this day to lay hold of that whip-scoundrel, I’ll show him what it is to deceive his master, and to assail me with threats and tricks.
SOSIA
Do you hear him?
Do you hear him?
BLEPHARO
I hear him.
I hear him.
SOSIA
That implement
(pointing to AMPHITRYON’S walkingstick) is a burden for my shoulder-blades. Let’s accost the man, if you please. Do you know what is in the habit of being commonly said?
That implement
(pointing to AMPHITRYON’S walkingstick) is a burden for my shoulder-blades. Let’s accost the man, if you please. Do you know what is in the habit of being commonly said?
BLEPHARO
What you are going to say, I don’t know; what you’ll have to endure I pretty well guess.
What you are going to say, I don’t know; what you’ll have to endure I pretty well guess.
SOSIA
It’s an old adage—
Hunger and delay summon anger to the nostrils
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.
It’s an old adage—
Hunger and delay summon anger to the nostrils
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.
BLEPHARO
Aye, and well suited to the occasion. Let’s address him directly—Amphitryon!
Aye, and well suited to the occasion. Let’s address him directly—Amphitryon!
AMPHITRYON
(looking round.)
Is it Blepharo I hear? It’s strange why he’s come to me. Still, he presents himself opportunely, for me to prove the guilty conduct of my wife. Why have you come here to me, Blepharo?
Is it Blepharo I hear? It’s strange why he’s come to me. Still, he presents himself opportunely, for me to prove the guilty conduct of my wife. Why have you come here to me, Blepharo?
BLEPHARO
Have you so soon forgotten how early in the morning you sent Sosia to the ship, that I might take a repast with you to-day?
Have you so soon forgotten how early in the morning you sent Sosia to the ship, that I might take a repast with you to-day?
AMPHITRYON
Never in this world was it done. But where is that scoundrel?
Never in this world was it done. But where is that scoundrel?
BLEPHARO
Who?
Who?
AMPHITRYON
Sosia.
Sosia.
BLEPHARO
See, there he is.
(Points at him.)
See, there he is.
AMPHITRYON
(looking about.)
Where? BLEPH. Before your eyes; don’t you see him?
Where? BLEPH. Before your eyes; don’t you see him?
AMPHITRYON
I can hardly see for anger, so distracted has that fellow made me this day. You shall never escape my making a sacrifice of you.
(Offers to strike SOSIA, on which BLEPHARO prevents him.) Do let me, Blepharo.
I can hardly see for anger, so distracted has that fellow made me this day. You shall never escape my making a sacrifice of you.
(Offers to strike SOSIA, on which BLEPHARO prevents him.) Do let me, Blepharo.
BLEPHARO
Listen, I pray.
Listen, I pray.
AMPHITRYON
Say on, I’m listening—
(gives a blow to SOSIA) you take that.
Say on, I’m listening—
(gives a blow to SOSIA) you take that.
SOSIA
For what reason? Am I not in good time? I couldn’t have gone quicker, if I had betaken myself on the oar-like wings
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of Daedalus.
(AMPHITRYON tries to strike him again.)
For what reason? Am I not in good time? I couldn’t have gone quicker, if I had betaken myself on the oar-like wings
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of Daedalus.
BLEPHARO
Prithee, do leave him alone; we couldn’t quicken our pace any further.
Prithee, do leave him alone; we couldn’t quicken our pace any further.
AMPHITRYON
Whether it was the pace of a man on stilts or that of the tortoise, I’m determined to be the death of this villain.
(Striking him at each sentence.) Take that for the roof; that for the tiles; that for closing the door; that for making fun of your master; that for your abusive language.
Whether it was the pace of a man on stilts or that of the tortoise, I’m determined to be the death of this villain.
(Striking him at each sentence.) Take that for the roof; that for the tiles; that for closing the door; that for making fun of your master; that for your abusive language.
BLEPHARO
What injury has he been doing to you?
What injury has he been doing to you?
AMPHITRYON
Do you ask? Shut out of doors, from that housetop
(pointing to it) he has driven me away from my house.
Do you ask? Shut out of doors, from that housetop
(pointing to it) he has driven me away from my house.
SOSIA
What, I?
What, I?
AMPHITRYON
What did you threaten that you would do if I knocked at that door? Do you deny it, you scoundrel?
What did you threaten that you would do if I knocked at that door? Do you deny it, you scoundrel?
SOSIA
Why shouldn’t I deny it? See, he’s sufficiently a witness with whom I have just now come; I was sent on purpose that by your invitation I might bring him to your house.
Why shouldn’t I deny it? See, he’s sufficiently a witness with whom I have just now come; I was sent on purpose that by your invitation I might bring him to your house.
AMPHITRYON
Who sent you, villain?
Who sent you, villain?
SOSIA
He who asks me the question.
He who asks me the question.
AMPHITRYON
When, of all things?
When, of all things?
SOSIA
Some little time since-not long since—just now. When you were reconciled at home to your wife.
Some little time since-not long since—just now. When you were reconciled at home to your wife.
AMPHITRYON
Bacchus must have demented you.
Bacchus must have demented you.
SOSIA
May I not be paying my respects to Bacchus this day, nor yet to Ceres
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. You ordered the vessels to be made clean, that you might perform a sacrifice, and you sent me to fetch him
(pointing to BLEPHARO), that he might breakfast with you.
May I not be paying my respects to Bacchus this day, nor yet to Ceres
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. You ordered the vessels to be made clean, that you might perform a sacrifice, and you sent me to fetch him
(pointing to BLEPHARO), that he might breakfast with you.
AMPHITRYON
Blepharo, may I perish outright if I have either been in the house, or if I have sent him.
(To SOSIA.) Tell me—where did you leave me?
Blepharo, may I perish outright if I have either been in the house, or if I have sent him.
(To SOSIA.) Tell me—where did you leave me?
SOSIA
At home, with your wife Alcmena. Leaving you, I flew towards the harbour, and invited him in your name. We are come, and I’ve not seen you since till now.
At home, with your wife Alcmena. Leaving you, I flew towards the harbour, and invited him in your name. We are come, and I’ve not seen you since till now.
AMPHITRYON
Villanous fellow! With my wife, say you? You shall never go away without getting a beating.
(Gives him a blow.)
Villanous fellow! With my wife, say you? You shall never go away without getting a beating.
SOSIA
(crying out.)
Blepharo!
Blepharo!
BLEPHARO
Amphitryon, do let him alone, for my sake, and listen to me.
Amphitryon, do let him alone, for my sake, and listen to me.
AMPHITRYON
Well then, I’ll let him alone. What do you want? Say on.
Well then, I’ll let him alone. What do you want? Say on.
BLEPHARO
He has just now been telling me most extraordi nary marvels. A juggler, or a sorcerer, perhaps, has enchanted all this household of yours. Do enquire in other quarters, and examine how it is. And don’t cause this poor fellow to be tortured, before you understand the matter.
He has just now been telling me most extraordi nary marvels. A juggler, or a sorcerer, perhaps, has enchanted all this household of yours. Do enquire in other quarters, and examine how it is. And don’t cause this poor fellow to be tortured, before you understand the matter.
AMPHITRYON
You give good advice; let’s go in, I want you also to be my advocate against my wife.
(Knocks at the door.)
You give good advice; let’s go in, I want you also to be my advocate against my wife.
Amphitruo. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1913.
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