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Diogenes And Pollux
DIOGENES
My dear Pollux, I have some instructions for you as soon as you go up top. It’s your turn for resurrection to-morrow, I believe. If you see Menippus, the Dog
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, anywhere (you’ll find him in Corinth at the Craneum or in the Lyceum at Athens, laughing at the Philosophers wrangling with each other), tell him this from me. “Diogenes bids you, Menippus, if you’ve laughed enough at the things on the earth above, come down here, if you want much more to laugh at; for on earth your laughter was fraught with uncertainty, and people often wondered whether anyone at all was quite sure about what follows death, but here you’ll be able to laugh endlessly without any doubts, as I do now—and particularly when you see rich men, satraps and tyrants so humble and insignificant, with nothing to distinguish them but their groans, and see them to be weak and contemptible when they recall their life above.” That’s the message you’ve to give him and one further thing—that he’s to come here with his wallet filled with lots of lupines and any meals dedicated to Hecate he finds at cross-roads, or eggs from sacrifices of purification, or anything of the sort.
My dear Pollux, I have some instructions for you as soon as you go up top. It’s your turn for resurrection to-morrow, I believe. If you see Menippus, the Dog
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, anywhere (you’ll find him in Corinth at the Craneum or in the Lyceum at Athens, laughing at the Philosophers wrangling with each other), tell him this from me. “Diogenes bids you, Menippus, if you’ve laughed enough at the things on the earth above, come down here, if you want much more to laugh at; for on earth your laughter was fraught with uncertainty, and people often wondered whether anyone at all was quite sure about what follows death, but here you’ll be able to laugh endlessly without any doubts, as I do now—and particularly when you see rich men, satraps and tyrants so humble and insignificant, with nothing to distinguish them but their groans, and see them to be weak and contemptible when they recall their life above.” That’s the message you’ve to give him and one further thing—that he’s to come here with his wallet filled with lots of lupines and any meals dedicated to Hecate he finds at cross-roads, or eggs from sacrifices of purification, or anything of the sort.
POLLUX
I’ll deliver your message, Diogenes. But if I could have precise information about his appearance—
I’ll deliver your message, Diogenes. But if I could have precise information about his appearance—
DIOGENES
He’s old and bald, with a decrepit cloak full of windows and open to every wind, a motley of flapping rags; he’s always laughing and Generally mocking those hypocritical Philosophers.
He’s old and bald, with a decrepit cloak full of windows and open to every wind, a motley of flapping rags; he’s always laughing and Generally mocking those hypocritical Philosophers.
POLLUX
If we judge from these details at any rate, he should be easy to find.
If we judge from these details at any rate, he should be easy to find.
DIOGENES
May I send a piece of advice to these Philosophers also?
May I send a piece of advice to these Philosophers also?
POLLUX
Yes; no difficulty with that either.
Yes; no difficulty with that either.
DIOGENES
POLLUX
But they say I’m an uneducated ignoramus to cast aspersions on their wisdom.
But they say I’m an uneducated ignoramus to cast aspersions on their wisdom.
DIOGENES
You tell them from me to go to the devil.
You tell them from me to go to the devil.
POLLUX
I’ll give this message too, Diogenes.
I’ll give this message too, Diogenes.
DIOGENES
And take this message to the rich men from us, my dearest Pollux. “Why do you guard your gold, you senseless fools? Why do you punish yourselves, counting interest, and piling talents on talents, when you must come here shortly with no more than a penny?”
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And take this message to the rich men from us, my dearest Pollux. “Why do you guard your gold, you senseless fools? Why do you punish yourselves, counting interest, and piling talents on talents, when you must come here shortly with no more than a penny?”
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POLLUX
They shall have this message too.
They shall have this message too.
DIOGENES
Yes, and say to the men who are handsome and strong like Megillus of Corinth and Damoxenus the wrestler, “Here with us are no golden locks or blue eyes or dark eyes, or rosy cheek, no well-strung sinews or sturdy shoulders—all with us, to quote the proverb, is one and the same dust, skulls bereft of good looks.”
Yes, and say to the men who are handsome and strong like Megillus of Corinth and Damoxenus the wrestler, “Here with us are no golden locks or blue eyes or dark eyes, or rosy cheek, no well-strung sinews or sturdy shoulders—all with us, to quote the proverb, is one and the same dust, skulls bereft of good looks.”
POLLUX
Another easy message for me to give—to the handsome and strong.
Another easy message for me to give—to the handsome and strong.
DIOGENES
And tell the poor, my Spartan friend, who are many, displeased with life and pitying themselves for their poverty, not to cry and moan; describe to them our equality here, telling them how they’ll see the rich on earth no better here than they are themselves. And tell your own Spartans off from me, if you will, for having become so slack.
And tell the poor, my Spartan friend, who are many, displeased with life and pitying themselves for their poverty, not to cry and moan; describe to them our equality here, telling them how they’ll see the rich on earth no better here than they are themselves. And tell your own Spartans off from me, if you will, for having become so slack.
POLLUX
Not a word to me about Spartans, Diogenes; I won’t tolerate that. But I’ll deliver your messages to all the others.
Not a word to me about Spartans, Diogenes; I won’t tolerate that. But I’ll deliver your messages to all the others.
DIOGENES
Let’s forget about the Spartans, since that’s your wish, but be sure to give my messages to the people I mentioned earlier on.
Let’s forget about the Spartans, since that’s your wish, but be sure to give my messages to the people I mentioned earlier on.
Dialogi mortuorum. Lucian of Samosata. Matthew Donald Macleod (Translator). Medford, MA. Perseus 5.0.
Sponsored by Perseus Project, Tufts University.
Funding provided by The National Endowment for the Humanities.