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Charon And Menippus

CHARON

Pay the fare, curse you.

MENIPPUS

Shout away, Charon, if that’s what you prefer.

CHARON

Pay me, I say, for taking you across.

MENIPPUS

You can’t get blood out of a stone.

CHARON

Is there anyone who hasn’t a single penny?

MENIPPUS

I don’t know about anyone else, but I am without one.

CHARON

But by Pluto, I’ll throttle you, you blackguard, if you don’t pay.

MENIPPUS

And I’ll smash your head with a blow from my stick.

CHARON

Then you’ll have sailed all this long way for nothing.

MENIPPUS

Hermes delivered me to you; let him pay.

HERMES

Heaven help me, if I’m going to pay for the dead too.

CHARON

I won’t leave you alone.

MENIPPUS

Then you’d better beach your ferry, and stay put; but how will you get what I don’t have?

CHARON

Didn’t you know you had to bring it with you?

MENIPPUS

Yes, but I didn’t have it. What of it? Did that make it wrong for me to die?

CHARON

So you’ll be the only one to boast of a free passage?

MENIPPUS

Not free, my good fellow; I baled, I helped at the oar, I was the only passenger who wasn’t weeping.

CHARON

That’s nothing to do with a ferryman; your penny must be paid. No alternative’s allowed.

MENIPPUS

Then take me back to life.

CHARON

That’s a bright remark! Do you want me also to get a thrashing from Aeacus for my pains?

MENIPPUS

Then don’t bother me.

CHARON

Show me what you have in your bag.

MENIPPUS

Lupines, if you want some, and a meal meant for Hecate.

CHARON

Where did you find us this Dog, Hermes? How he chattered on the crossing too, mocking and jeering at all the passengers and singing on his own while they were lamenting!

HERMES

Don’t you know, my dear Charon, what sort of man you’ve taken across? He is absolutely independent and cares for nobody. This is Menippus.

CHARON

But if ever I get my hands on you—

MENIPPUS

If you get your hands on me, my good fellow! But you won’t get them on me a second time.

Dialogi mortuorum. Lucian of Samosata. Matthew Donald Macleod (Translator). Medford, MA. Perseus 5.0.

Sponsored by Perseus Project, Tufts University.

Funding provided by The National Endowment for the Humanities.

Current edition Perseus

Dialogues of the Dead (English) (Lucian, Vol. 7. Macleod, Matthew Donald, translator. London: William Heinemann, Ltd.; Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1961 (unrenewed copyright).)

Editions (2)

Νεκρικοὶ Διάλογοι Perseus (Lucian. Luciani Samosatensis Opera, Vol. 1. Jacobitz, Karl, editor. Leipzig: Teubner, 1909.) — 2 focus

Πλούτων κατὰ Μενίππος

336

Κροῖσος

οὐ φέρομεν, ὦ Πλούτων, Μένιππον τουτονὶ τὸν κύνα παροικοῦντα· ὥστε ἢ ἐκεῖνόν ποι κατάστησον ἢ ἡμεῖς μετοικήσομεν ἐς ἕτερον τόπον.

Πλούτων

τί δʼ ὑμᾶς δεινὸν ἐργάζεται ὁμόνεκρος ὤν;

Κροῖσος

ἐπειδὰν ἡμεῖς οἰμώζωμεν καὶ στένωμεν ἐκείνων μεμνημένοι τῶν ἄνω, Μίδας μὲν οὑτοσὶ τοῦ χρυσίου, Σαρδανάπαλλος δὲ τῆς πολλῆς τρυφῆς, ἐγὼ δὲ Κροῖσος τῶν θησαυρῶν, ἐπιγελᾷ καὶ ἐξονειδίζει ἀνδράποδα καὶ καθάρματα ἡμᾶς ἀποκαλῶν, ἐνίοτε δὲ καὶ ᾅδων ἐπιταράττει ἡμῶν τὰς οἰμωγάς, καὶ ὅλως λυπηρός ἐστι.

Πλούτων

τί ταῦτά φασιν, ὦ Μένιππε;

Μενίππος

ἀληθῆ, ὦ Πλούτων· μισῶ γὰρ αὐτοὺς ἀγεννεῖς 337 καὶ ὀλεθρίους ὄντας, οἷς οὐκ ἀπέχρησε βιῶναι κακῶς, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἀποθανόντες. ἔτι μέμνηνται καὶ περιέχονται τῶν ἄνω· χαίρω τοιγαροῦν ἀνιῶν αὐτούς.

Πλούτων

ἀλλʼ οὐ χρή· λυποῦνται γὰρ οὐ μικρῶν στερόμενοι.

Μενίππος

καὶ σὺ μωραίνεις, ὦ Πλούτων, ὁμόψηφος ὢν τοῖς τούτων στεναγμοῖς;

Πλούτων

οὐδαμῶς, ἀλλʼ οὐκ ἂν ἐθέλοιμι στασιάζειν ὑμᾶς.

Μενίππος

καὶ μήν, ὦ κάκιστοι Λυδῶν καὶ Φρυγῶν καὶ Ἀσσυρίων, οὕτω γινώσκετε ὡς οὐδὲ παυσομένου μου· ἔνθα γὰρ ἂν ἴητε, ἀκολουθήσω ἀνιῶν καὶ κατᾴδων καὶ καταγελῶν.

Κροῖσος

ταῦτα οὐχ ὕβρις;

Μενίππος

οὔκ, ἀλλʼ ἐκεῖνα ὕβρις ἦν, ἃ ὑμεῖς ἐποιεῖτε, προσκυνεῖσθαι ἀξιοῦντες καὶ ἐλευθέροις ἀνδράσιν ἐντρυφῶντες καὶ τοῦ θανάτου τὸ παράπαν οὐ μνημονεύοντες· τοιγαροῦν οἰμώξεσθε πάντων ἐκείνων ἀφῃρημένοι.

Κροῖσος

πολλῶν γε, ὦ θεοί, καὶ μεγάλων κτημάτων.

Μίδας

ὅσου μὲν ἐγὼ χρυσοῦ.

Σαρδανάπαλλος

ὅσης δὲ ἐγὼ τρυφῆς.

Μενίππος

εὖ γε, οὕτω ποιεῖτε· ὀδύρεσθε μὲν ὑμεῖς, ἐγὼ δὲ τὸ γνῶθι σαυτὸν πολλάκις συνείρων ἐπᾴσομαι ὑμῖν· πρέποι γὰρ ἂν ταῖς τοιαύταις οἰμωγαῖς ἐπᾳδόμενον.

Νεκρικοὶ διάλογοι Perseus (Lucian, Vol. 7. Macleod, Matthew Donald, editor. London: William Heinemann, Ltd.; Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1961 (unrenewed copyright).) — 2 focus

ΧΑΡΩΝΟΣ ΚΑΙ ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΥ

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Ἀπόδος, ὦ κατάρατε, τὰ πορθμεῖα.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Βόα, εἰ τοῦτό σοι, ὦ Χάρων, ἥδιον.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Ἀπόδος, φημί, ἀνθ' ὧν σε διεπορθμεύσαμεν.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Οὐκ ἂν λάβοις παρὰ τοῦ μὴ ἔχοντος.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Ἔστι δέ τις ὀβολὸν μὴ ἔχων;

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Εἰ μὲν καὶ ἄλλος τις οὐκ οἶδα, ἐγὼ δ’ οὐκ ἔχω.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Καὶ μὴν ἄγξω σε νὴ τὸν Πλούτωνα, ὦ μιαρέ, ἢν μὴ ἀποδῷς.

424

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Κἀγὼ τῷ ξύλῳ σου πατάξας διαλύσω ¹ τὸ κρανίον.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Μάτην οὖν ἔσῃ πεπλευκὼς ² τοσοῦτον πλοῦν.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Ὁ Ἑρμῆς ὑπὲρ ἐμοῦ σοι ἀποδότω, ὅς με παρέδωκέ σοι.

ΕΡΜΗΣ

Νὴ Δί' ὀναίμην ³ γε, εἰ μέλλω καὶ ὑπερεκτίνειν τῶν νεκρῶν.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Οὐκ ἀποστήσομαί σου.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Τούτου γε ἕνεκα νεωλκήσας τὸ πορθμεῖον παράμενε· πλὴν ἀλλ’ ὅ γε μὴ ἔχω, πῶς ἂν λάβοις;

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Σὺ δ’ οὐκ ᾔδεις κομίζειν δέον;

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Ἤιδειν μέν, οὐκ εἶχον δέ. τί οὖν; ἐχρῆν διὰ τοῦτο μὴ ἀποθανεῖν;

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Μόνος οὖν αὐχήσεις προῖκα πεπλευκέναι;

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Οὐ προῖκα, ὦ βέλτιστε· καὶ γὰρ ἤντλησα καὶ τῆς κώπης συνεπελαβόμην καὶ οὐκ ἔκλαον μόνος τῶν ἄλλων ἐπιβατῶν.

425

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Οὐδὲν ταῦτα πρὸς πορθμέα· τὸν ὀβολὸν ἀποδοῦναί σε δεῖ· οὐ θέμις ἄλλως γενέσθαι.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Οὐκοῦν ἄπαγέ με αὖθις ἐς τὸν βίον.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Χάριεν λέγεις, ἵνα καὶ πληγὰς ἐπὶ τούτῳ παρὰ τοῦ Αἰακοῦ προσλάβω.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Μὴ ἐνόχλει οὖν.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Δεῖξον τί ἐν τῇ πήρᾳ ἔχεις.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Θέρμους, εἰ θέλεις, καὶ τῆς Ἑκάτης τὸ δεῖπνον.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Πόθεν τοῦτον ἡμῖν, ὦ Ἑρμῆ, τὸν κύνα ἤγαγες; οἷα δὲ καὶ ἐλάλει παρὰ τὸν πλοῦν τῶν ἐπιβατῶν ἁπάντων καταγελῶν καὶ ἐπισκώπτων καὶ μόνος ᾄδων οἰμωζόντων ἐκείνων.

ΕΡΜΗΣ

Ἀγνοεῖς, ὦ Χάρων, ὅντινα ἄνδρα διεπόρθμευσας; ἐλεύθερον ἀκριβῶς· οὐδένος αὐτῷ μέλει. οὗτός ἐστιν ὁ Μένιππος.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Καὶ μὴν ἄν σε λάβω ποτέ—

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Ἄν λάβῃς, ὦ βέλτιστε· δὶς δὲ οὐκ ἂν λάβοις.

Translations (1)

Dialogues of the Dead Perseus (The Works of Lucian of Samosata, Vol. 1. Fowler, Henry Watson and Fowler, Francis George, translators. Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1905.) — 2 focus

II

Before

Pluto

Croesus

Midas

, and

Sardanapalus

against

Menippus

Croesus

Pluto, we can stand this snarling Cynic no longer in our neighbourhood; either you must transfer him to other quarters, or we are going to migrate,

Pluto

Why, what harm does he do to your ghostly community?

Croesus

Midas here, and Sardanapalus and I, can never get in a good cry over the old days of gold and luxury and treasure, but he must be laughing at us, and calling us rude names; ‘slaves’ and ‘garbage,’ he says we are. And then he sings; and that throws us out.—In short, he is a nuisance,

Pluto

Menippus, what’s this I hear?

Menippus

All perfectly true, Pluto. I detest these abject rascals! Not content with having lived the abominable lives they did, they keep on talking about it now they are dead, and harping on the good old days. I take a positive pleasure in annoying them,

Pluto

Yes, but you mustn’t. They have had terrible losses; they feel it deeply.

Menippus

Pluto! you are not going to lend your countenance to these whimpering fools?

Pluto

It isn’t that; but I won’t have you quarrelling.

Menippus

Well, you scum of your respective nations, let there be no misunderstanding: I am going on just the same. Wherever you are, there shall I be also; worrying, jeering, singing you down.

Croesus

Presumption!

Menippus

Not a bit of it. Yours was the presumption, when you expected men to fall down before you, when you trampled on men’s liberty, and forgot there was such a thing as death. Now comes the weeping and gnashing of teeth: for all is lost!

Croesus

Lost! Ah God! My treasure-heapp——

Midas

My gold——

Sardanapalus

My little comforts——

Menippus

That’s right: stick to it! You do the whining, and I'll chime in with a string of cnotHi-saurons, best of accompaniments,

Francis George Fowler

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Charon And Menippus

CHARON Pay the fare, curse you.

MENIPPUS Shout away, Charon, if that’s what you prefer.

CHARON Pay me, I say, for taking you across.

MENIPPUS You can’t get blood out of a stone.

CHARON Is there anyone who hasn’t a single penny?

MENIPPUS I don’t know about anyone else, but I am without one.

CHARON But by Pluto, I’ll throttle you, you blackguard, if you don’t pay.

MENIPPUS And I’ll smash your head with a blow from my stick.

CHARON Then you’ll have sailed all this long way for nothing.

MENIPPUS Hermes delivered me to you; let him pay.

HERMES Heaven help me, if I’m going to pay for the dead too.

CHARON I won’t leave you alone.

MENIPPUS Then you’d better beach your ferry, and stay put; but how will you get what I don’t have?

CHARON Didn’t you know you had to bring it with you?

MENIPPUS Yes, but I didn’t have it. What of it? Did that make it wrong for me to die?

CHARON So you’ll be the only one to boast of a free passage?

MENIPPUS Not free, my good fellow; I baled, I helped at the oar, I was the only passenger who wasn’t weeping.

CHARON That’s nothing to do with a ferryman; your penny must be paid. No alternative’s allowed.

MENIPPUS Then take me back to life.

CHARON That’s a bright remark! Do you want me also to get a thrashing from Aeacus for my pains?

MENIPPUS Then don’t bother me.

CHARON Show me what you have in your bag.

MENIPPUS Lupines, if you want some, and a meal meant for Hecate.

CHARON Where did you find us this Dog, Hermes? How he chattered on the crossing too, mocking and jeering at all the passengers and singing on his own while they were lamenting!

HERMES Don’t you know, my dear Charon, what sort of man you’ve taken across? He is absolutely independent and cares for nobody. This is Menippus.

CHARON But if ever I get my hands on you—

MENIPPUS If you get your hands on me, my good fellow! But you won’t get them on me a second time.

Current edition Perseus

Πλούτων κατὰ Μενίππος

Κροῖσος οὐ φέρομεν, ὦ Πλούτων, Μένιππον τουτονὶ τὸν κύνα παροικοῦντα· ὥστε ἢ ἐκεῖνόν ποι κατάστησον ἢ ἡμεῖς μετοικήσομεν ἐς ἕτερον τόπον.

Πλούτων τί δʼ ὑμᾶς δεινὸν ἐργάζεται ὁμόνεκρος ὤν;

Πλούτων τί ταῦτά φασιν, ὦ Μένιππε;

Πλούτων ἀλλʼ οὐ χρή· λυποῦνται γὰρ οὐ μικρῶν στερόμενοι.

Μενίππος καὶ σὺ μωραίνεις, ὦ Πλούτων, ὁμόψηφος ὢν τοῖς τούτων στεναγμοῖς;

Πλούτων οὐδαμῶς, ἀλλʼ οὐκ ἂν ἐθέλοιμι στασιάζειν ὑμᾶς.

Κροῖσος ταῦτα οὐχ ὕβρις;

Κροῖσος πολλῶν γε, ὦ θεοί, καὶ μεγάλων κτημάτων.

Μίδας ὅσου μὲν ἐγὼ χρυσοῦ.

Σαρδανάπαλλος ὅσης δὲ ἐγὼ τρυφῆς.

ΧΑΡΩΝΟΣ ΚΑΙ ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΥ

ΧΑΡΩΝ Ἀπόδος, ὦ κατάρατε, τὰ πορθμεῖα.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ Βόα, εἰ τοῦτό σοι, ὦ Χάρων, ἥδιον.

ΧΑΡΩΝ Ἀπόδος, φημί, ἀνθ' ὧν σε διεπορθμεύσαμεν.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ Οὐκ ἂν λάβοις παρὰ τοῦ μὴ ἔχοντος.

ΧΑΡΩΝ Ἔστι δέ τις ὀβολὸν μὴ ἔχων;

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ Εἰ μὲν καὶ ἄλλος τις οὐκ οἶδα, ἐγὼ δ’ οὐκ ἔχω.

ΧΑΡΩΝ Καὶ μὴν ἄγξω σε νὴ τὸν Πλούτωνα, ὦ μιαρέ, ἢν μὴ ἀποδῷς.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ Κἀγὼ τῷ ξύλῳ σου πατάξας διαλύσω 1 τὸ κρανίον.

ΧΑΡΩΝ Μάτην οὖν ἔσῃ πεπλευκὼς 2 τοσοῦτον πλοῦν.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ Ὁ Ἑρμῆς ὑπὲρ ἐμοῦ σοι ἀποδότω, ὅς με παρέδωκέ σοι.

ΕΡΜΗΣ Νὴ Δί' ὀναίμην 3 γε, εἰ μέλλω καὶ ὑπερεκτίνειν τῶν νεκρῶν.

ΧΑΡΩΝ Οὐκ ἀποστήσομαί σου.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ Τούτου γε ἕνεκα νεωλκήσας τὸ πορθμεῖον παράμενε· πλὴν ἀλλ’ ὅ γε μὴ ἔχω, πῶς ἂν λάβοις;

ΧΑΡΩΝ Σὺ δ’ οὐκ ᾔδεις κομίζειν δέον;

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ Ἤιδειν μέν, οὐκ εἶχον δέ. τί οὖν; ἐχρῆν διὰ τοῦτο μὴ ἀποθανεῖν;

ΧΑΡΩΝ Μόνος οὖν αὐχήσεις προῖκα πεπλευκέναι;

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ Οὐ προῖκα, ὦ βέλτιστε· καὶ γὰρ ἤντλησα καὶ τῆς κώπης συνεπελαβόμην καὶ οὐκ ἔκλαον μόνος τῶν ἄλλων ἐπιβατῶν.

ΧΑΡΩΝ Οὐδὲν ταῦτα πρὸς πορθμέα· τὸν ὀβολὸν ἀποδοῦναί σε δεῖ· οὐ θέμις ἄλλως γενέσθαι.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ Οὐκοῦν ἄπαγέ με αὖθις ἐς τὸν βίον.

ΧΑΡΩΝ Χάριεν λέγεις, ἵνα καὶ πληγὰς ἐπὶ τούτῳ παρὰ τοῦ Αἰακοῦ προσλάβω.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ Μὴ ἐνόχλει οὖν.

ΧΑΡΩΝ Δεῖξον τί ἐν τῇ πήρᾳ ἔχεις.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ Θέρμους, εἰ θέλεις, καὶ τῆς Ἑκάτης τὸ δεῖπνον.

ΕΡΜΗΣ Ἀγνοεῖς, ὦ Χάρων, ὅντινα ἄνδρα διεπόρθμευσας; ἐλεύθερον ἀκριβῶς· οὐδένος αὐτῷ μέλει. οὗτός ἐστιν ὁ Μένιππος.

ΧΑΡΩΝ Καὶ μὴν ἄν σε λάβω ποτέ—

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ Ἄν λάβῃς, ὦ βέλτιστε· δὶς δὲ οὐκ ἂν λάβοις.

II

Before

Pluto

Croesus

Midas

Sardanapalus

Menippus

Croesus Pluto, we can stand this snarling Cynic no longer in our neighbourhood; either you must transfer him to other quarters, or we are going to migrate,

Pluto Why, what harm does he do to your ghostly community?

Pluto Menippus, what’s this I hear?

Menippus All perfectly true, Pluto. I detest these abject rascals! Not content with having lived the abominable lives they did, they keep on talking about it now they are dead, and harping on the good old days. I take a positive pleasure in annoying them,

CHARON

Pay the fare, curse you.

MENIPPUS

Shout away, Charon, if that’s what you prefer.

CHARON

Pay me, I say, for taking you across.

MENIPPUS

You can’t get blood out of a stone.

CHARON

Is there anyone who hasn’t a single penny?

MENIPPUS

I don’t know about anyone else, but I am without one.

CHARON

But by Pluto, I’ll throttle you, you blackguard, if you don’t pay.

MENIPPUS

And I’ll smash your head with a blow from my stick.

CHARON

Then you’ll have sailed all this long way for nothing.

MENIPPUS

Hermes delivered me to you; let him pay.

HERMES

Heaven help me, if I’m going to pay for the dead too.

CHARON

I won’t leave you alone.

MENIPPUS

Then you’d better beach your ferry, and stay put; but how will you get what I don’t have?

CHARON

Didn’t you know you had to bring it with you?

MENIPPUS

Yes, but I didn’t have it. What of it? Did that make it wrong for me to die?

CHARON

So you’ll be the only one to boast of a free passage?

MENIPPUS

Not free, my good fellow; I baled, I helped at the oar, I was the only passenger who wasn’t weeping.

CHARON

That’s nothing to do with a ferryman; your penny must be paid. No alternative’s allowed.

MENIPPUS

Then take me back to life.

CHARON

That’s a bright remark! Do you want me also to get a thrashing from Aeacus for my pains?

MENIPPUS

Then don’t bother me.

CHARON

Show me what you have in your bag.

MENIPPUS

Lupines, if you want some, and a meal meant for Hecate.

CHARON

Where did you find us this Dog, Hermes? How he chattered on the crossing too, mocking and jeering at all the passengers and singing on his own while they were lamenting!

HERMES

Don’t you know, my dear Charon, what sort of man you’ve taken across? He is absolutely independent and cares for nobody. This is Menippus.

CHARON

But if ever I get my hands on you—

MENIPPUS

If you get your hands on me, my good fellow! But you won’t get them on me a second time.

Κροῖσος

οὐ φέρομεν, ὦ Πλούτων, Μένιππον τουτονὶ τὸν κύνα παροικοῦντα· ὥστε ἢ ἐκεῖνόν ποι κατάστησον ἢ ἡμεῖς μετοικήσομεν ἐς ἕτερον τόπον.

Πλούτων

τί δʼ ὑμᾶς δεινὸν ἐργάζεται ὁμόνεκρος ὤν;

Πλούτων

τί ταῦτά φασιν, ὦ Μένιππε;

Πλούτων

ἀλλʼ οὐ χρή· λυποῦνται γὰρ οὐ μικρῶν στερόμενοι.

Μενίππος

καὶ σὺ μωραίνεις, ὦ Πλούτων, ὁμόψηφος ὢν τοῖς τούτων στεναγμοῖς;

Πλούτων

οὐδαμῶς, ἀλλʼ οὐκ ἂν ἐθέλοιμι στασιάζειν ὑμᾶς.

Κροῖσος

ταῦτα οὐχ ὕβρις;

Κροῖσος

πολλῶν γε, ὦ θεοί, καὶ μεγάλων κτημάτων.

Μίδας

ὅσου μὲν ἐγὼ χρυσοῦ.

Σαρδανάπαλλος

ὅσης δὲ ἐγὼ τρυφῆς.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Ἀπόδος, ὦ κατάρατε, τὰ πορθμεῖα.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Βόα, εἰ τοῦτό σοι, ὦ Χάρων, ἥδιον.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Ἀπόδος, φημί, ἀνθ' ὧν σε διεπορθμεύσαμεν.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Οὐκ ἂν λάβοις παρὰ τοῦ μὴ ἔχοντος.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Ἔστι δέ τις ὀβολὸν μὴ ἔχων;

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Εἰ μὲν καὶ ἄλλος τις οὐκ οἶδα, ἐγὼ δ’ οὐκ ἔχω.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Καὶ μὴν ἄγξω σε νὴ τὸν Πλούτωνα, ὦ μιαρέ, ἢν μὴ ἀποδῷς.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Κἀγὼ τῷ ξύλῳ σου πατάξας διαλύσω ¹ τὸ κρανίον.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Μάτην οὖν ἔσῃ πεπλευκὼς ² τοσοῦτον πλοῦν.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Ὁ Ἑρμῆς ὑπὲρ ἐμοῦ σοι ἀποδότω, ὅς με παρέδωκέ σοι.

ΕΡΜΗΣ

Νὴ Δί' ὀναίμην ³ γε, εἰ μέλλω καὶ ὑπερεκτίνειν τῶν νεκρῶν.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Οὐκ ἀποστήσομαί σου.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Τούτου γε ἕνεκα νεωλκήσας τὸ πορθμεῖον παράμενε· πλὴν ἀλλ’ ὅ γε μὴ ἔχω, πῶς ἂν λάβοις;

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Σὺ δ’ οὐκ ᾔδεις κομίζειν δέον;

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Ἤιδειν μέν, οὐκ εἶχον δέ. τί οὖν; ἐχρῆν διὰ τοῦτο μὴ ἀποθανεῖν;

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Μόνος οὖν αὐχήσεις προῖκα πεπλευκέναι;

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Οὐ προῖκα, ὦ βέλτιστε· καὶ γὰρ ἤντλησα καὶ τῆς κώπης συνεπελαβόμην καὶ οὐκ ἔκλαον μόνος τῶν ἄλλων ἐπιβατῶν.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Οὐδὲν ταῦτα πρὸς πορθμέα· τὸν ὀβολὸν ἀποδοῦναί σε δεῖ· οὐ θέμις ἄλλως γενέσθαι.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Οὐκοῦν ἄπαγέ με αὖθις ἐς τὸν βίον.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Χάριεν λέγεις, ἵνα καὶ πληγὰς ἐπὶ τούτῳ παρὰ τοῦ Αἰακοῦ προσλάβω.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Μὴ ἐνόχλει οὖν.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Δεῖξον τί ἐν τῇ πήρᾳ ἔχεις.

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Θέρμους, εἰ θέλεις, καὶ τῆς Ἑκάτης τὸ δεῖπνον.

ΕΡΜΗΣ

Ἀγνοεῖς, ὦ Χάρων, ὅντινα ἄνδρα διεπόρθμευσας; ἐλεύθερον ἀκριβῶς· οὐδένος αὐτῷ μέλει. οὗτός ἐστιν ὁ Μένιππος.

ΧΑΡΩΝ

Καὶ μὴν ἄν σε λάβω ποτέ—

ΜΕΝΙΠΠΟΣ

Ἄν λάβῃς, ὦ βέλτιστε· δὶς δὲ οὐκ ἂν λάβοις.

Croesus

Pluto, we can stand this snarling Cynic no longer in our neighbourhood; either you must transfer him to other quarters, or we are going to migrate,

Pluto

Why, what harm does he do to your ghostly community?

Pluto

Menippus, what’s this I hear?

Menippus

All perfectly true, Pluto. I detest these abject rascals! Not content with having lived the abominable lives they did, they keep on talking about it now they are dead, and harping on the good old days. I take a positive pleasure in annoying them,

Pluto

Yes, but you mustn’t. They have had terrible losses; they feel it deeply.

Menippus

Pluto! you are not going to lend your countenance to these whimpering fools?

Pluto

It isn’t that; but I won’t have you quarrelling.

Menippus

Well, you scum of your respective nations, let there be no misunderstanding: I am going on just the same. Wherever you are, there shall I be also; worrying, jeering, singing you down.

Croesus

Presumption!

Menippus

Not a bit of it. Yours was the presumption, when you expected men to fall down before you, when you trampled on men’s liberty, and forgot there was such a thing as death. Now comes the weeping and gnashing of teeth: for all is lost!

Croesus

Lost! Ah God! My treasure-heapp——

Midas

My gold——

Sardanapalus

My little comforts——

Menippus

That’s right: stick to it! You do the whining, and I'll chime in with a string of cnotHi-saurons, best of accompaniments,