CHAEREA
(looking around, then aloud to himself.)
Is there any body here? There’s no one. Is there any one following me from there? There’s not a person. Now am I not at liberty to give vent to these raptures? O supreme
Jupiter!
now assuredly is the time for me to meet my death,
1
when I can so well endure it; lest my life should sully this ecstasy with some disaster. But is there now no inquisitive person to be intruding upon me, to be following me wherever I do, to be deafening me, worrying me to death, with asking questions; why thus transported, or why so overjoyed, whither I’m going, whence I’m come, where
550
I got this garb, what is my object, whether I’m in my senses or whether downright mad?
555
ANTIPHO
(apart.)
I’ll accost him, and I’ll do him the favor which I see he’s wishing for.
(Accosting him.) Chaerea, why are you thus transported? What’s the object of this garb? Why is it that you’re so overjoyed? What is the meaning of this? Are you quite right in your senses? Why do you stare at me? What have you to say?
CHAEREA
O joyous day! O welcome, my friend!
There’s not one in all the world whom I would rather wish to see at this moment that yourself.
560
ANTIPHO
Pray, do tell me what all this means.
CHAEREA
Nay rather, i’faith, I beg of you to listen to me. Do you know the mistress whom my brother is so fond of?
ANTIPHO
I know her; I suppose you mean Thais?
CHAEREA
The very same.
ANTIPHO
So far I recollect.
CHAEREA
To-day a certain damsel was presented to her. Why now should I extol or commend her beauty to you, Antipho,
since you yourself know how nice a judge of beauty I am? I have been smitten by her.
565
ANTIPHO
Do you say so?
CHAEREA
If you saw her, I am sure you would say she’s exquisite. What need of many words? I fell in love with her. By good luck there was at our house a certain Eunuch, whom my brother had purchased for Thais, and he had not as yet been sent to her. On this occasion, Parmeno,
our servant, made a suggestion to me, which I adopted.
570
ANTIPHO
What was it?
CHAEREA
Be quiet, and you shall hear the sooner; to change clothes with him, and order myself to be taken there in his stead.
ANTIPHO
What, instead of the Eunuch?
CHAEREA
The fact.
ANTIPHO
To receive what advantage, pray, from this plan?
CHAEREA
Do you ask? That I might see, hear, and be in company with her whom I loved, Antipho. Is that a slight motive, or a poor reason? I was presented to the woman.
She, as soon as she received me, joyfully took me home to her house and intrusted the damsel—
575
ANTIPHO
To whom? To you?
CHAEREA
To me.
ANTIPHO
(ironically.)
In perfect safety, at all events.
CHAEREA
She gave orders that no male was to come near her, and commanded me not to stir away from her; that I was to remain alone with her in the inner apartments.
2
Looking bashfully on the ground, I nodded assent.
ANTIPHO
(ironically.)
Poor fellow!
CHAEREA
(continuing.)
I am going out, said she,
to dinner.
She took her maids with her; a few novices of girls
3
remained, to be about her. These immediately made preparations for her to bathe. I urged them to make haste. While preparations were being made, the damsel sat in a room looking up at a certain painting,
4
in which was represented how Jove
5
is said once to have sent a golden shower into the bosom of Danaë.
580
I myself began to look at it as well, and as he had in former times played the like game, I felt extremely delighted that a God should change himself into money, and slily come through the tiles of another person’s house, to deceive the fair one by means of a shower. But what God was this? He who shakes the most lofty temples of heaven with his thunders.
585
Was I, a poor creature of a mortal,
6
not to do the same? Certainly, I was to do it, and without hesitation. While I was thinking over these matters with myself, the damsel meantime was fetched away to bathe; she went, bathed, and came back; after which they laid her on a couch. I stood waiting to see if they gave me any orders. One came up,
Here, Dorus, said she,
take this fan,
7
and let her have a little air in this fashion, while we are bathing;
590
when we have bathed, if you like, you may bathe too. With a demure air I took it.
595
ANTIPHO
Really, I should very much have liked to see that impudent face of yours just then, and what figure a great donkey like you made, holding a fan!
CHAEREA
(continuing.)
Hardly had she said this, when all, in a moment, betook themselves off: away they went to bathe, and chattered aloud;
8
just as the way is when masters are absent.
ANTIPHO
What then?
CHAEREA
Eh? What then, you simpleton?
ANTIPHO
I own I am.
CHAEREA
Was I to let slip the opportunity offered me, so excellent, so short-lived,
11
so longed for, so unexpected.
In that case, i’faith, I really should have been the person I was pretending to be.
605
ANTIPHO
Troth, you certainly are in the right; but, meantime, what has been arranged about the club-entertainment?
CHAEREA
All’s ready.
ANTIPHO
You are a clever hand; but where? At your house?
CHAEREA
No, at Discus’s, our freedman.
ANTIPHO
That’s a long way off.
CHAEREA
Then let’s make so much the greater haste.
12
ANTIPHO
Change your dress.
13
CHAEREA
Where am I to change it? I’m at a loss; for at present I’m an exile from home; I’m afraid of my brother,
lest he should be in-doors: and then again of my father, lest he should have returned from the country by this.
610
ANTIPHO
Let’s go to my house; there is the nearest place for you to change.
CHAEREA
You say right. Let’s be off; besides, I want to take counsel with you about this girl, by what means I may be able to secure the future possession of her.
ANTIPHO
Very well.
(Exeunt.)
Eunuchus. Publius Terentius Afer (Terence). Henry Thomas Riley (Translator), George Colman (Translator). Ney York. 1874.
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