SAGARINUS
Come, out of doors with you; lead on the procession
1
. Stichus, I appoint you commander of the cask. I’m resolved to prove our banquet in every fashion this day.
So may the Gods love me, we are well entertained in being feasted in this place. I will that each person that passes by shall be invited to join the banquet.
685
STICHUS
SAGARINUS
This banquet,
for our means, is quite sufficient, with its nuts, beans, figs
4
, a dish of olives, pounded lupines, and a cake.
690
STICHUS
It better becomes a man who is a slave to bring his expenses within moderation than beyond. Each one to his own station; they, who have wealth at home, drink from cups, goblets, and bowls; we, if we are now
drinking from our Samian jug
5
, still build our walls according to our means.
695
SAGARINUS
But while she who is your mistress and mine is arranging her hair, and bedecking herself, I wish us to have some diversion among ourselves. I appoint you the commander
6
of this feast.
STICHUS
Very aptly does it suggest itself to your mind.
SAGARINUS
STICHUS
Aye, but this is far the most pleasant.
SAGARINUS
On which side is each of us to recline by our mistress?
STICHUS
Of course you go to the upper place. And, so that you may understand it, I make a division with you on these terms: consider, and take which province you would even like now to take.
(They take their places.)
SAGARINUS
But what’s your meaning about this
province?
STICHUS
Whether you would choose to hold the command over the water or over Bacchus.
SAGARINUS
Over Bacchus, most distinctly.
But, in the meantime, general of ours, why stands this goblet here? See how many cups
9
we have drunk.
705
STICHUS
As many as there are fingers on your hand. The Greek song is,
Drink either your five cups
10
or your three, but not your four.
SAGARINUS
(about to drink.)
I pledge you. Do you take for yourself the tenth part from the fountain
11
, if you are wise. Here’s luck to you, luck to us; here’s luck to thee, luck to me; luck to our Stephanium as well.
STICHUS
’Tis bravely done. I pledge you in a goblet.
(Drinks.)
SAGARINUS
STICHUS
If you are not satisfied with what’s here, there’s nothing else. Take some water
14
.
SAGARINUS
You say right; I care for no dainties.
Drink away, Piper
15
; drink, if you do drink. I’ faith, this must be drunk—don’t shirk it.
(Holds the goblet to the PIPER.) Why flinch at what you see must be done by you? Why don’t you drink? Do it, if you are to do it. Take it, I tell you, for the public pays for this. That’s not your way to shirk your drink. Take your pipes
16
out of your mouth.
715
(The PIPER drinks.)
STICHUS
When he has drunk, either do you mind my rules
17
, or else I’ll give up.
SAGARINUS
(to the PIPER.)
How now? Although you did make a fuss about it, still it didn’t hurt you. Come, Piper, when you’ve done drinking, put back your pipes to your lips; quickly puff out your cheeks, just like a reptile serpent
20
.
Come now, Stichus, whichever of the two breaks order, shall be fined a cup.
725
STICHUS
You propose a good regulation. You ought to have your way, who only ask what’s fair.
SAGARINUS
Mind it then; if you offend, I’ll forthwith take the forfeit on the spot.
STICHUS
You ask what’s quite right and just.
SAGARINUS
(pledging STICHUS.)
Here’s to you first of all.
21
STICHUS
’Tis a droll thing this, for two persons, rivals of each other, to be courting,
to be drinking from one goblet, and to be kissing one wench. ’Tis worthy of remark this: I am you, you are I; of one accord are we. With one mistress are we both in love; when she’s with me, still she’s with you; and when she’s with you, she’s with me as well; neither of us envies the other.
730
SAGARINUS
Come, come, there’s enough of it; I don’t want it overdone to weariness. I’d now like some other sport.
STICHUS
Drink on, if you are drinking.
710
SAGARINUS
There shall be no skulking in me.
But, troth, I’ve had enough of the feast; would but our mistress come here. If she were here, nothing else would be away.
STICHUS
Should you like us to invite our mistress out? She shall give us a dance.
735
SAGARINUS
I agree.
STICHUS
(calling aloud.)
My sweet one, my lovely one, my pleasing one, Stephanium, do come out of doors to your sweethearts; to me you are quite charming.
SAGARINUS
But to me, indeed, most charming.
STICHUS
Make us jovial fellows more jovial by your assistance and your company.
Returning from abroad, we want you, dear little Stephanium, my honey, that is, if our lovingness is pleasing to you, if we are acceptable to you.
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Stichus. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1912.
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