T. Maccius Plautus Epidicus 5.1

STRATIPPOCLES

(to himself.)

The Banker ¹ is inattentive to me, not to seek the money of me, or bring this woman who has been purchased out of the spoil. But see—here comes Epidicus How’s this, that in gloominess his brow is wrinkled?

(at a distance.)

EPIDICUS

(to himself.)

If Jupiter unto himself were to take the eleven Gods ² beside himself, even then, all of them would not be able to rescue Epidicus from torture. I’ve seen Periphanes buying the thongs; Apaecides was together with him; now, I do believe that these persons are in search of me. They have found it out; they know that they’ve been imposed upon.

610

STRATIPPOCLES

(coming forward.)

What are you about, my ready occasion?

EPIDICUS

That which a wretched fellow is about.

STRATIPPOCLES

What’s the matter with you?

615

EPIDICUS

Why don’t you prepare for me the necessaries for flight before I’m quite undone? For the two fleeced old gentlemen are hunting for me through the city; they are carrying in their hands handcuffs an inch and a half thick.

STRATIPPOCLES

Be of good heart—

EPIDICUS

Of course I will, whose freedom is so close at hand ³ .

STRATIPPOCLES

I will preserve you.

EPIDICUS

I’ faith, they’ll do it better for me, if they catch me.

But who’s this young woman, this greyish old fellow, too, that’s coming along?

620

(are seen at a distance.)

STRATIPPOCLES

This is the Banker, and this is the woman whom I purchased out of the spoil.

EPIDICUS

What, is this she?

STRATIPPOCLES

It is she. Isn’t she just like what I told you? Look at her.

EPIDICUS

Is it she?

STRATIPPOCLES

Survey her, Epidicus. ⁴ Even from her nail to the top of her hair she is most lovely! Is she not? Do look at her! Observe her! You’ll be looking at a picture beautifully painted.

EPIDICUS

Judging from your words you are foretelling that my hide will be beautifully painted; me, whom Apelles and Zeuxis ⁵ , the pair of them, will be painting with elm-tree pigments.

625

(Enter the BANKER and TELESTIS.)

STRATIPPOCLES

(to the BANKER.)

Immortal Gods! I’m surprised at your slowness. The man that’s spoken of in the proverb with swollen feet, would have got here sooner than you have arrived for me.

A BANKER.

(pointing to TELESTIS.)

I’ faith, ’twas she delayed me.

STRATIPPOCLES

If indeed you delayed for her sake,

because she wished it, you have come too quickly.

630

A BANKER

Well, well, dispatch with me and count out the money, that I mayn’t be detaining my friends.

STRATIPPOCLES

It has been counted out.

A BANKER.

(giving him a bag.)

Take this bag; put it into it.

STRATIPPOCLES

You come discreetly provided! Wait till I bring out the money to you.

A BANKER

Make haste.

STRATIPPOCLES

It’s at home.

(Goes into the house of CHAERIBULUS.)

EPIDICUS

(looking steadily at TELESTIS.)

Have I the use of my eyes quite unimpaired, or is it otherwise?

Do I not behold in you, Telestis, the daughter of Periphanes, born at Thebes of your mother Philippa, and conceived at Epidaurus?

635

TELESTIS

What person are you who are making mention of the name of my parents and my own?

EPIDICUS

Don’t you know me?

TELESTIS

Not, indeed, so far as recurs to my mind just now.

EPIDICUS

Don’t you remember my bringing you a crescent upon your birthday, and a little gold ring for your finger?

(STRATIPPOCLES returns with the money.)

TELESTIS

I remember it. What, are you that person?

EPIDICUS

I am, and (pointing to STRATIPPOCLES, at a distance) he there is your brother by another mother and the same father.

TELESTIS

(in agitation.)

What of my father? Is he alive?

EPIDICUS

Be of calm and composed feelings; hold your peace.

TELESTIS

The Gods will that from being lost I should be saved, if you speak the truth.

EPIDICUS

I have no occasion to be telling untruths to you.

645

STRATIPPOCLES

(to the BANKER.)

Take this money, Banker; here are forty minae. If any piece shall be doubtful I’ll change it.

(Gives him the money.)

A BANKER

You do well. Kindly farewell.

(Exit.)

STRATIPPOCLES

(to TELESTIS.)

Now then you are my own—

TELESTIS

Why yes—sister, i’ faith, that you may know it as well. Greetings to you, brother.

STRATIPPOCLES

(to EPIDICUS.)

Is this woman in her senses?

EPIDICUS

In her senses, if she calls you her brother.

STRATIPPOCLES

How’s this? Have I just now become her brother while going in-doors and coming out?

650

EPIDICUS

What good fortune there is, do you in silence keep your peace thereon and rejoice.

STRATIPPOCLES

Sister, you have both lost and found me!

EPIDICUS

Simpleton, hold your tongue! Through my endeavours, there’s ready for you at home, in fact, a Music-girl for you to make love to; I too, through my endeavours, have restored your sister to liberty.

STRATIPPOCLES

Epidicus, I confess—

655

EPIDICUS

Be off into the house, and order the water to be made warm ⁶ for her. The rest I’ll let you know afterwards, when there’s leisure.

STRATIPPOCLES

Follow me this way, sister.

EPIDICUS

I’ll bid Thesprio ⁷ come across to you. But remember, if the old gentlemen are at all savage, you, with your sister, to run and help me.

STRATIPPOCLES

That will be easy.

(He and TELESTIS go into the house of PERIPHANES.)

EPIDICUS

(going to the door of the house of CHAERIBULUS.)

Thesprio, come this way through the garden. Come to my rescue at home! The matter’s of importance! (To himself.) I care much less for the old fellows than I did just now. I’ll return in-doors, that the strangers may be attended to on their arrival. I’ll tell these same things that I know, in-doors to Stratippocles. I shall not take to flight; I’m determined to be there at home, and he shan’t throw it in my teeth

660

that he has been provoked by my running away ⁸ . I’ll away in-doors; I’ve been talking too long.

665

(Goes into the house of PERIPHANES.)