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679
(Enter CAPPADOX, in haste.)
CAPPADOX
(to himself.)
Those who say
1
it’s bad for bankers to be trusted, utter nonsense;
I say it’s neither good nor bad for them to be trusted, and that, I’ve fully experienced this day. They are not
2
badly trusted, who never repay, but with whom it is lost outright. As for example, before this Lyco paid me the ten minae, he had to go to every banker’s counter. After there were no proceeds, I summoned the fellow with much noise; he appealed against me to the court. I was most confoundedly afraid that this day he’d be settling accounts with me before the Praetor
3
;
680
but my friends forced him, so he paid the money at home. Now I’m resolved to make haste to my house.
685
(Runs towards his door.)
Those who say
1
it’s bad for bankers to be trusted, utter nonsense;
I say it’s neither good nor bad for them to be trusted, and that, I’ve fully experienced this day. They are not
2
badly trusted, who never repay, but with whom it is lost outright. As for example, before this Lyco paid me the ten minae, he had to go to every banker’s counter. After there were no proceeds, I summoned the fellow with much noise; he appealed against me to the court. I was most confoundedly afraid that this day he’d be settling accounts with me before the Praetor
3
;
680
but my friends forced him, so he paid the money at home. Now I’m resolved to make haste to my house.
685
THERAPONTIGONUS
Hallo! you Procurer; I want you.
Hallo! you Procurer; I want you.
PHAEDROMUS
And I want you.
And I want you.
CAPPADOX
But I don’t want either of you.
But I don’t want either of you.
THERAPONTIGONUS
Stay this instant, will you.
Stay this instant, will you.
PHAEDROMUS
And make you haste to disgorge the money with all despatch.
And make you haste to disgorge the money with all despatch.
CAPPADOX
(to PHAEDROMUS.)
What have you to do with me?
(To the CAPTAIN.) Or what have you?
What have you to do with me?
(To the CAPTAIN.) Or what have you?
THERAPONTIGONUS
Because this day I shall be making a javelin of you, discharged from a catapulta,
and twist you with the string
4
, just as the catapultas are in the habit of doing.
690
Because this day I shall be making a javelin of you, discharged from a catapulta,
and twist you with the string
4
, just as the catapultas are in the habit of doing.
690
PHAEDROMUS
I’ll this day make a coxcomb of you, to be sleeping with a puppy
5
in your bed—an iron one, I mean.
I’ll this day make a coxcomb of you, to be sleeping with a puppy
5
in your bed—an iron one, I mean.
CAPPADOX
But I’ll make you both to be rotting in a strong-barred prison.
But I’ll make you both to be rotting in a strong-barred prison.
THERAPONTIGONUS
Seize him by the throat, and away with him to extreme torture.
Seize him by the throat, and away with him to extreme torture.
PHAEDROMUS
However that is, he’ll be going there of his own accord.
(The CAPTAIN seizes him.)
However that is, he’ll be going there of his own accord.
CAPPADOX
O Gods and men, your aid!
that I, uncondemned, and without evidence against me, should thus be dragged along! Prithee, Planesium, and you, Phaedromus, do give me assistance.
695
O Gods and men, your aid!
that I, uncondemned, and without evidence against me, should thus be dragged along! Prithee, Planesium, and you, Phaedromus, do give me assistance.
695
PLANESIUM
Brother, I do beseech you, don’t ruin him uncondemned; he treated me kindly and modestly at his house.
Brother, I do beseech you, don’t ruin him uncondemned; he treated me kindly and modestly at his house.
THERAPONTIGONUS
That was through no inclination of his own; give you thanks to this Aesculapius
6
(pointing to the Temple) that you’ve preserved your chastity;
for if he had been well, he’d long ago have packed you off wherever he could.
700
That was through no inclination of his own; give you thanks to this Aesculapius
6
(pointing to the Temple) that you’ve preserved your chastity;
for if he had been well, he’d long ago have packed you off wherever he could.
700
PHAEDROMUS
Now attend to me, both of you, if I can arrange between you.
(To the CAPTAIN.) You let him go. Procurer, come you this way. I’ll pronounce my opinion, if indeed you are ready to abide by what I shall decide you should do.
Now attend to me, both of you, if I can arrange between you.
(To the CAPTAIN.) You let him go. Procurer, come you this way. I’ll pronounce my opinion, if indeed you are ready to abide by what I shall decide you should do.
THERAPONTIGONUS
We leave it to you.
(He lets go of the PROCURER.)
We leave it to you.
CAPPADOX
So long, i’ faith, as you give a decision to the effect that no one is to take the money away from me.
So long, i’ faith, as you give a decision to the effect that no one is to take the money away from me.
THERAPONTIGONUS
What, not that which you promised?
705
What, not that which you promised?
705
CAPPADOX
I, promised? How?
I, promised? How?
THERAPONTIGONUS
With your tongue.
With your tongue.
CAPPADOX
With that same tongue I now gainsay it; that was given me by Nature for the purpose of speaking, not of losing my property.
With that same tongue I now gainsay it; that was given me by Nature for the purpose of speaking, not of losing my property.
THERAPONTIGONUS
He’s trifling; seize the fellow by the throat.
(Seizes him.)
He’s trifling; seize the fellow by the throat.
CAPPADOX
I’ll at once then do as you bid me.
I’ll at once then do as you bid me.
THERAPONTIGONUS
Since you are an honest man, answer me this that I ask you.
Since you are an honest man, answer me this that I ask you.
CAPPADOX
Ask me what you please.
Ask me what you please.
THERAPONTIGONUS
Did you not promise, that if any one should show that she
(pointing to PLANESIUM) was freeborn,
you would pay back all the money?
710
Did you not promise, that if any one should show that she
(pointing to PLANESIUM) was freeborn,
you would pay back all the money?
710
CAPPADOX
I don’t remember saying so.
I don’t remember saying so.
THERAPONTIGONUS
What, do you deny it?
What, do you deny it?
CAPPADOX
I’ faith, I really do deny it. In whose presence? In what place was it?
I’ faith, I really do deny it. In whose presence? In what place was it?
THERAPONTIGONUS
In my own presence, and that of Lyco the banker.
In my own presence, and that of Lyco the banker.
CAPPADOX
Why don’t you hold your tongue?
Why don’t you hold your tongue?
THERAPONTIGONUS
I shan’t hold my tongue.
I shan’t hold my tongue.
CAPPADOX
I don’t care a rush for you; don’t be bullying me.
I don’t care a rush for you; don’t be bullying me.
THERAPONTIGONUS
In my own presence and that of Lyco it took place.
In my own presence and that of Lyco it took place.
PHAEDROMUS
(to the CAPTAIN.)
I quite believe you.
Now, therefore, Procurer, that you may know my judgment,
(pointing to PLANESIUM) she is a free woman; he
(pointing to the CAPTAIN) is her brother, and she is his sister; she is engaged to me; do you restore him the money; that’s my decision.
715
I quite believe you.
Now, therefore, Procurer, that you may know my judgment,
(pointing to PLANESIUM) she is a free woman; he
(pointing to the CAPTAIN) is her brother, and she is his sister; she is engaged to me; do you restore him the money; that’s my decision.
715
CAPPADOX
Upon my faith, Phaedromus, you have given this decision corruptly.
It shall both be bad for you, and you, Captain,—may the Gods and Goddesses confound you.
720
Upon my faith, Phaedromus, you have given this decision corruptly.
It shall both be bad for you, and you, Captain,—may the Gods and Goddesses confound you.
720
THERAPONTIGONUS
And as for you, you shall be clapt in prison at once, unless the money’s returned me.
And as for you, you shall be clapt in prison at once, unless the money’s returned me.
CAPPADOX
Then follow me.
Then follow me.
THERAPONTIGONUS
Follow you where?
Follow you where?
CAPPADOX
To my banker—to the Praetor
7
; for it’s there that I pay my money to all persons to whom I’m indebted.
To my banker—to the Praetor
7
; for it’s there that I pay my money to all persons to whom I’m indebted.
THERAPONTIGONUS
I’ll be carrying you hence to prison, and not to the Praetor, if you don’t pay back the money.
I’ll be carrying you hence to prison, and not to the Praetor, if you don’t pay back the money.
CAPPADOX
I do most earnestly wish you may come to a bad end, so don’t misunderstand me
8
.
I do most earnestly wish you may come to a bad end, so don’t misunderstand me
8
.
THERAPONTIGONUS
Do you really so?
725
Do you really so?
725
CAPPADOX
I’ faith, I really do so.
I’ faith, I really do so.
THERAPONTIGONUS
I don’t misunderstand these fists of mine.
(Holding them up.)
I don’t misunderstand these fists of mine.
CAPPADOX
What then?
What then?
THERAPONTIGONUS
What then, do you ask? With these same fists, if you provoke me, I’ll be making you quiet immediately.
What then, do you ask? With these same fists, if you provoke me, I’ll be making you quiet immediately.
CAPPADOX
(taking the money from his girdle.)
Well then, take this back at once.
Well then, take this back at once.
THERAPONTIGONUS
(taking the money.)
By all means.
By all means.
PHAEDROMUS
Captain, you’ll dine with me; the nuptials shall take place to-day.
Captain, you’ll dine with me; the nuptials shall take place to-day.
THERAPONTIGONUS
May this matter turn out well for me and for yourselves.
May this matter turn out well for me and for yourselves.
An ACTOR.
Spectators, give us your applause.
9
Spectators, give us your applause.
9
Curculio. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1912.
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