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(Enter PLANESIUM, followed by PHAEDROMUS, from his house.)
PLANESIUM
My Phaedromus, make haste.
My Phaedromus, make haste.
PHAEDROMUS
Make haste for what?
Make haste for what?
PLANESIUM
That you mayn’t let the Parasite escape;
the affair’s of consequence.
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That you mayn’t let the Parasite escape;
the affair’s of consequence.
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PHAEDROMUS
Nothing have I
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of consequence; for what I did have I quickly made away with?
(Seizes CURCULIO.)
I’ve got him;
what’s the matter?
Nothing have I
1
of consequence; for what I did have I quickly made away with?
I’ve got him;
what’s the matter?
PLANESIUM
Ask him whence he got that ring: my father used to wear it.
Ask him whence he got that ring: my father used to wear it.
CURCULIO
Why, troth, and so did my aunt.
Why, troth, and so did my aunt.
PLANESIUM
My mother gave it him to wear.
My mother gave it him to wear.
CURCULIO
And your father, in his turn, to me.
And your father, in his turn, to me.
PLANESIUM
You are talking nonsense.
You are talking nonsense.
CURCULIO
I’m in the habit; for by reason of it I make a livelihood the more easily. What is the matter now?
I’m in the habit; for by reason of it I make a livelihood the more easily. What is the matter now?
PLANESIUM
I entreat you, don’t be keeping me from finding my parents.
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I entreat you, don’t be keeping me from finding my parents.
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CURCULIO
How can I? Have I got your father and mother hidden beneath the stone?
(Holding up the ring.)
How can I? Have I got your father and mother hidden beneath the stone?
(Holding up the ring.)
PLANESIUM
I was born a free woman.
I was born a free woman.
CURCULIO
And so were many others, who are now in servitude.
And so were many others, who are now in servitude.
PLANESIUM
Really now, I’m vexed.
Really now, I’m vexed.
CURCULIO
For my part, I’ve told you how this came into my possession. How often must you be told? I cheated the Captain at dice, I tell you.
(THERAPONTIGONUS.)
For my part, I’ve told you how this came into my possession. How often must you be told? I cheated the Captain at dice, I tell you.
THERAPONTIGONUS
(eyeing CURCULIO.)
I’m all right; see, here he is whom I was looking for. How do you do, good sir?
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I’m all right; see, here he is whom I was looking for. How do you do, good sir?
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CURCULIO
I hear you; three casts of the dice, if you like, even for that scarf of yours.
I hear you; three casts of the dice, if you like, even for that scarf of yours.
THERAPONTIGONUS
Why don’t you go to very perdition, with your casts and catch-pennies
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? Either give me back the money or the young woman?
Why don’t you go to very perdition, with your casts and catch-pennies
2
? Either give me back the money or the young woman?
CURCULIO
(with an air of surprise.)
What money? what rubbish are you talking about to me? What young woman are you demanding back of me?
What money? what rubbish are you talking about to me? What young woman are you demanding back of me?
THERAPONTIGONUS
The one that you took away this day from the Procurer, you scoundrelly fellow.
The one that you took away this day from the Procurer, you scoundrelly fellow.
CURCULIO
I took none away.
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I took none away.
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THERAPONTIGONUS
Why, surely, I see her. There she is.
(Pointing to PLANESIUM.)
Why, surely, I see her. There she is.
(Pointing to PLANESIUM.)
PHAEDROMUS
This young woman is free.
This young woman is free.
THERAPONTIGONUS
What, my female slave free, to whom I have never given her liberty?
What, my female slave free, to whom I have never given her liberty?
PHAEDROMUS
Who gave you possession of her, or of whom did you buy her? Let me know that?
Who gave you possession of her, or of whom did you buy her? Let me know that?
THERAPONTIGONUS
Why, I paid the money for her through my banker—a sum which I’ll have refunded to me fourfold by you and the Procurer.
Why, I paid the money for her through my banker—a sum which I’ll have refunded to me fourfold by you and the Procurer.
PHAEDROMUS
You, who understand how to traffic in young women, kidnapped and of free birth, come you before the judge.
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You, who understand how to traffic in young women, kidnapped and of free birth, come you before the judge.
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THERAPONTIGONUS
I shan’t come.
I shan’t come.
PHAEDROMUS
I may call my witness
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to the summons.
I may call my witness
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to the summons.
THERAPONTIGONUS
No, you mayn’t.
No, you mayn’t.
PHAEDROMUS
May Jupiter then utterly confound you: live without witnesses
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then.
May Jupiter then utterly confound you: live without witnesses
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then.
CURCULIO
But I’m a person that he may summon.
But I’m a person that he may summon.
PHAEDROMUS
(to CURCULIO.)
Do you step this way.
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Do you step this way.
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THERAPONTIGONUS
What? A slave summoned as a witness?
Take you care.
What? A slave summoned as a witness?
Take you care.
CURCULIO
Well, that you may know it, I’m free.
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Well, that you may know it, I’m free.
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THERAPONTIGONUS
Then come before the judge.
6
There’s for you: take that.
(Gives him a blow.)
Then come before the judge.
6
There’s for you: take that.
CURCULIO
O townsmen, townsmen, help.
O townsmen, townsmen, help.
THERAPONTIGONUS
Why do you bawl so?
Why do you bawl so?
PHAEDROMUS
What right have you to strike him?
What right have you to strike him?
THERAPONTIGONUS
Because I choose.
Because I choose.
PHAEDROMUS
(to CURCULIO.)
Step this way you
(pushes him towards the CAPTAIN); there, I’ll give him up to you. Hold your noise.
Step this way you
(pushes him towards the CAPTAIN); there, I’ll give him up to you. Hold your noise.
CURCULIO
Phaedromus, prithee do save me.
Phaedromus, prithee do save me.
PHAEDROMUS
As I would myself and my own good Genius. Captain, prithee, do tell me whence you got that ring,
which this Parasite purloined from you.
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As I would myself and my own good Genius. Captain, prithee, do tell me whence you got that ring,
which this Parasite purloined from you.
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PLANESIUM
(kneeling before the CAPTAIN.)
By your knees, I do entreat you to give us that information.
By your knees, I do entreat you to give us that information.
THERAPONTIGONUS
What matters that to you? You might as well ask after this sabre and this scarf, how each came into my possession.
What matters that to you? You might as well ask after this sabre and this scarf, how each came into my possession.
CURCULIO
What airs the swaggerer does give himself!
What airs the swaggerer does give himself!
THERAPONTIGONUS
Send that fellow away
(pointing to CURCULIO); then I’ll tell you all.
Send that fellow away
(pointing to CURCULIO); then I’ll tell you all.
CURCULIO
It’s nonsense what he says.
It’s nonsense what he says.
PHAEDROMUS
Prithee, do let me know.
Prithee, do let me know.
THERAPONTIGONUS
I’ll tell you:
(to PLANESIUM) get up. Listen to this matter, and give attention. My father Periphanes used to wear it.
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I’ll tell you:
(to PLANESIUM) get up. Listen to this matter, and give attention. My father Periphanes used to wear it.
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PLANESIUM
Ha! Periphanes?
Ha! Periphanes?
THERAPONTIGONUS
He, before he died, gave it to me as being his son, as it was right he should.
He, before he died, gave it to me as being his son, as it was right he should.
PLANESIUM
O Jupiter!
O Jupiter!
THERAPONTIGONUS
And on that occasion he made me his heir.
And on that occasion he made me his heir.
PLANESIUM
O filial affection, do thou preserve me, since I have carefully preserved thee. Welcome, my brother.
O filial affection, do thou preserve me, since I have carefully preserved thee. Welcome, my brother.
THERAPONTIGONUS
How am I to believe that? Tell me, if you are speaking the truth, who was your mother?
How am I to believe that? Tell me, if you are speaking the truth, who was your mother?
PLANESIUM
Cleobula.
Cleobula.
THERAPONTIGONUS
Who was your nurse?
Who was your nurse?
PLANESIUM
Archestrata.
Amid the sacred rites of Bacchus she had carried me to see the sights
after we had come thither, when now she had found me a place, a whirlwind arose
7
; the scaffolding
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of the stage there tumbled down; I was greatly alarmed, and then some one, I know not who, seized hold of me trembling and frightened, neither alive nor dead;
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and in what manner he carried me off I cannot say.
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Archestrata.
Amid the sacred rites of Bacchus she had carried me to see the sights
after we had come thither, when now she had found me a place, a whirlwind arose
7
; the scaffolding
8
of the stage there tumbled down; I was greatly alarmed, and then some one, I know not who, seized hold of me trembling and frightened, neither alive nor dead;
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and in what manner he carried me off I cannot say.
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THERAPONTIGONUS
I recollect that disturbance happening; but, do you tell me, where is this person, who carried you away?
I recollect that disturbance happening; but, do you tell me, where is this person, who carried you away?
PLANESIUM
I know not; but
(showing a ring) this ring I have all along preserved by me, with it long since was I lost.
I know not; but
(showing a ring) this ring I have all along preserved by me, with it long since was I lost.
THERAPONTIGONUS
Give it me to look at.
Give it me to look at.
CURCULIO
(to PLANESIUM.)
Are you in your senses to be trusting it to that fellow?
(Holds her arm.)
Are you in your senses to be trusting it to that fellow?
PLANESIUM
Do you only leave me alone.
(She gives it to the CAPTAIN.)
Do you only leave me alone.
THERAPONTIGONUS
(examining it.)
O Jupiter! This is the same that I presented you upon your birthday; I recognize it as easily as my own self. Welcome to you, my sister.
O Jupiter! This is the same that I presented you upon your birthday; I recognize it as easily as my own self. Welcome to you, my sister.
PLANESIUM
My brother, welcome to you.
My brother, welcome to you.
PHAEDROMUS
I trust the Gods will prosper this matter for you.
I trust the Gods will prosper this matter for you.
CURCULIO
And I, for all of us.
(To the CAPTAIN.)
Do you, as having this day arrived, give a dinner in honor of your sister he
(pointing to PHAEDROMUS), to-morrow, will give one in honor of his marriage; we promise that.
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And I, for all of us.
Do you, as having this day arrived, give a dinner in honor of your sister he
(pointing to PHAEDROMUS), to-morrow, will give one in honor of his marriage; we promise that.
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PHAEDROMUS
(to CURCULIO.)
Do you hold your tongue.
Do you hold your tongue.
CURCULIO
I shan’t hold my tongue, as things are turning out so well. Captain, do you promise her to him; I’ll give the marriage-portion.
I shan’t hold my tongue, as things are turning out so well. Captain, do you promise her to him; I’ll give the marriage-portion.
THERAPONTIGONUS
What is the marriage-portion?
What is the marriage-portion?
CURCULIO
What, that I give? Why, that always as long as he lives he’s to feed me.
What, that I give? Why, that always as long as he lives he’s to feed me.
THERAPONTIGONUS
I’ troth, he says what’s fair;
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with my consent you shall do so.
But this Procurer owes me the thirty minae.
I’ troth, he says what’s fair;
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with my consent you shall do so.
But this Procurer owes me the thirty minae.
PHAEDROMUS
For what reason so?
For what reason so?
THERAPONTIGONUS
Because he agreed with me on these terms to give it back: that if any one should assert her to be free born in due course of law, he would, without dispute, pay back all the money.
Because he agreed with me on these terms to give it back: that if any one should assert her to be free born in due course of law, he would, without dispute, pay back all the money.
CURCULIO
Then let’s go to the Procurer.
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Then let’s go to the Procurer.
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THERAPONTIGONUS
I agree.
I agree.
PHAEDROMUS
This first I wish; to despatch my matter.
This first I wish; to despatch my matter.
THERAPONTIGONUS
What’s that?
What’s that?
PHAEDROMUS
That you will betroth her to me.
(The CAPTAIN considers.)
That you will betroth her to me.
CURCULIO
Why do you hesitate, Captain, to give her as a wife to him?
Why do you hesitate, Captain, to give her as a wife to him?
THERAPONTIGONUS
If she is agreable.
If she is agreable.
PLANESIUM
My brother, it is my wish.
My brother, it is my wish.
THERAPONTIGONUS
So be it then.
So be it then.
CURCULIO
You do rightly.
You do rightly.
PHAEDROMUS
Captain, do you betroth me to her for my wife?
Captain, do you betroth me to her for my wife?
THERAPONTIGONUS
I do betroth her.
I do betroth her.
PHAEDROMUS
(pointing to CURCULIO.)
And to him do I promise support at my expense.
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And to him do I promise support at my expense.
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CURCULIO
You do kindly. But
You do kindly. But
THER,
But see, here’s the Procurer coming; my treasurer
9
, I mean.
But see, here’s the Procurer coming; my treasurer
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, I mean.
Curculio. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1912.
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