Leontichus, Chenidas and Hymnis
LEONTICHUS
And tell us, Chenidas, how in the battle with the Galatians I rode out ahead of all the other cavalrymen on my white horse, and how the Galatians for all their courage were stricken with fear the moment they saw me, and not one of them stood his ground. On that occasion I hurled my lance like a javelin and sent it through the leader of their cavalry and his horse as well, and then turning against those of them that still offered concerted resistance—for there were a few still remaining who, instead of the phalanx, had now adopted a rectangular formation—turning against these, I drew my blade, and, charging with all my fury, knocked over half a dozen or so of their front rank by the onset of my horse, and, bringing my sword down on the head of one of their captains, I split it in two, helmet and all. The rest of you came up, Chenidas, a little later, when the enemy were already in flight.
And tell us, Chenidas, how in the battle with the Galatians I rode out ahead of all the other cavalrymen on my white horse, and how the Galatians for all their courage were stricken with fear the moment they saw me, and not one of them stood his ground. On that occasion I hurled my lance like a javelin and sent it through the leader of their cavalry and his horse as well, and then turning against those of them that still offered concerted resistance—for there were a few still remaining who, instead of the phalanx, had now adopted a rectangular formation—turning against these, I drew my blade, and, charging with all my fury, knocked over half a dozen or so of their front rank by the onset of my horse, and, bringing my sword down on the head of one of their captains, I split it in two, helmet and all. The rest of you came up, Chenidas, a little later, when the enemy were already in flight.
CHENIDAS
Yes, Leontichus, and when you fought in single combat with the satrap in Paphlagonia, wasn’t that another great exhibition of your prowess?
Yes, Leontichus, and when you fought in single combat with the satrap in Paphlagonia, wasn’t that another great exhibition of your prowess?
LEONTICHUS
Thank you for reminding me of another not ignoble exploit. The satrap, a gigantic man, and reputed to excel all other warriors in heavy armour, despising the Greek forces, leapt out between the two armies and challenged all comers to offer him single combat. All our other officers were terrified, and that included even our General himself, though he’s a man of spirit. At the time, you know, we were under the command of Aristaechmus, the Aetolian, whose skill with the javelin is unrivalled, and I was still a mere colonel. I, however, acted boldly and shaking off my comrades who were holding me back through fear for me when they saw the barbarian resplendent in his golden armour, a mighty figure with fearsome crest, brandishing his lance——
Thank you for reminding me of another not ignoble exploit. The satrap, a gigantic man, and reputed to excel all other warriors in heavy armour, despising the Greek forces, leapt out between the two armies and challenged all comers to offer him single combat. All our other officers were terrified, and that included even our General himself, though he’s a man of spirit. At the time, you know, we were under the command of Aristaechmus, the Aetolian, whose skill with the javelin is unrivalled, and I was still a mere colonel. I, however, acted boldly and shaking off my comrades who were holding me back through fear for me when they saw the barbarian resplendent in his golden armour, a mighty figure with fearsome crest, brandishing his lance——
CHENIDAS
I was another who was afraid on that occasion, Leontichus, and you know how I clung to you, begging you not to court danger ahead of us, for my life would not have been worth living, if you had been killed.
I was another who was afraid on that occasion, Leontichus, and you know how I clung to you, begging you not to court danger ahead of us, for my life would not have been worth living, if you had been killed.
LEONTICHUS
But I acted boldly and advanced out there, wearing just as fine armour as the Paphlagonian, and encased in gold from head to toe just like him, so that a shout arose immediately, both from our men and from the barbarians, for they too recognised me by my shield in particular and by my spangles and my crest. Tell us, Chenidas, whom did they all think I resembled then?
But I acted boldly and advanced out there, wearing just as fine armour as the Paphlagonian, and encased in gold from head to toe just like him, so that a shout arose immediately, both from our men and from the barbarians, for they too recognised me by my shield in particular and by my spangles and my crest. Tell us, Chenidas, whom did they all think I resembled then?
CHENIDAS
Achilles, of course, son of Peleus and Thetis. So distinguished was your helmet, so bright your purple, so resplendent your shield.
Achilles, of course, son of Peleus and Thetis. So distinguished was your helmet, so bright your purple, so resplendent your shield.
LEONTICHUS
When we met, the barbarian struck first, wounding me slightly by grazing me with his spear just above the knee, but I drove my lance through his shield, and penetrated right through to his chest. Then I rushed at him, lopped off his head with my blade without any difficulty, and returned, not only with his arms, but carrying his head fixed on my lance, and bathed in blood.
When we met, the barbarian struck first, wounding me slightly by grazing me with his spear just above the knee, but I drove my lance through his shield, and penetrated right through to his chest. Then I rushed at him, lopped off his head with my blade without any difficulty, and returned, not only with his arms, but carrying his head fixed on my lance, and bathed in blood.
HYMNIS
Stop, Leontichus. Your stories about yourself are repulsive and gruesome, and no girl would ever look again at a fellow who takes such pleasure in bloodshed, far less drink with him, or spend the night with him. So I’ll be off.
Stop, Leontichus. Your stories about yourself are repulsive and gruesome, and no girl would ever look again at a fellow who takes such pleasure in bloodshed, far less drink with him, or spend the night with him. So I’ll be off.
LEONTICHUS
I offer you double the money.
I offer you double the money.
HYMNIS
I couldn’t bear to sleep with a murderer.
I couldn’t bear to sleep with a murderer.
LEONTICHUS
Don’t be afraid, Hymnis. These exploits are all over and happened in Paphlagonia; for the moment I’m at peace.
Don’t be afraid, Hymnis. These exploits are all over and happened in Paphlagonia; for the moment I’m at peace.
HYMNIS
But you’re unclean, and the blood dripped over you from his head, when you carried it on your spear. And then you expect me to embrace and kiss a fellow like that? May the Graces save me from that! He’s no better than the public executioner.
But you’re unclean, and the blood dripped over you from his head, when you carried it on your spear. And then you expect me to embrace and kiss a fellow like that? May the Graces save me from that! He’s no better than the public executioner.
LEONTICHUS
But, if you’d seen me in heavy armour, I’m sure you’d have fallen in love with me.
But, if you’d seen me in heavy armour, I’m sure you’d have fallen in love with me.
HYMNIS
Merely to listen to you, Leontichus, makes me feel sick and shudder and imagine I see the ghosts and phantoms of those you butchered and particularly of that poor captain with his head split in two. What do you think would have happened if I’d seen the deed itself, and the blood, and the dead bodies lying there? I think I went faint as it was. I’ve never to this day even seen a cock being killed.
Merely to listen to you, Leontichus, makes me feel sick and shudder and imagine I see the ghosts and phantoms of those you butchered and particularly of that poor captain with his head split in two. What do you think would have happened if I’d seen the deed itself, and the blood, and the dead bodies lying there? I think I went faint as it was. I’ve never to this day even seen a cock being killed.
LEONTICHUS
Are you really so cowardly and poor-spirited, Hymnis? I thought you’d be delighted to hear my tale.
Are you really so cowardly and poor-spirited, Hymnis? I thought you’d be delighted to hear my tale.
HYMNIS
Keep such tales for the delight of any women of Lemnos or daughters of Danaus
1
you find; but I’m running away to mother, while it’s still daylight. And you’d better come with me, Grammis. Goodbye, bravest colonel, you murderer of as many as you choose.
Keep such tales for the delight of any women of Lemnos or daughters of Danaus
1
you find; but I’m running away to mother, while it’s still daylight. And you’d better come with me, Grammis. Goodbye, bravest colonel, you murderer of as many as you choose.
LEONTICHUS
Stay, Hymnis, stay.—She’s gone.
Stay, Hymnis, stay.—She’s gone.
CHENIDAS
Yes, Leontichus. You frightened the simple young girl by brandishing your plumes and recounting your incredible feats. I could see at once how pale she grew before you’d finished that story about the captain, and how she puckered her brow, and shivered when you said you’d split his head.
Yes, Leontichus. You frightened the simple young girl by brandishing your plumes and recounting your incredible feats. I could see at once how pale she grew before you’d finished that story about the captain, and how she puckered her brow, and shivered when you said you’d split his head.
LEONTICHUS
I thought it would make me seem more attractive to her; but you helped to spoil things for me, Chenidas, by suggesting the single combat.
I thought it would make me seem more attractive to her; but you helped to spoil things for me, Chenidas, by suggesting the single combat.
CHENIDAS
Well, wasn’t I to help by adding my lies to yours, when I saw why you were boasting? But you made the story much too frightening. It was all very well for you to cut off the head of that poor Paphlagonian, but why did you go on to stick it on your spear, so that the blood poured over you?
Well, wasn’t I to help by adding my lies to yours, when I saw why you were boasting? But you made the story much too frightening. It was all very well for you to cut off the head of that poor Paphlagonian, but why did you go on to stick it on your spear, so that the blood poured over you?
LEONTICHUS
That was indeed repulsive, Chenidas; the tale we’d made up hadn’t been at all bad up till then! But be off with you and coax her into spending the night with me.
That was indeed repulsive, Chenidas; the tale we’d made up hadn’t been at all bad up till then! But be off with you and coax her into spending the night with me.
CHENIDAS
Am I to say, then, that your whole story was a pack of lies, because you wished to appear a hero in her eyes?
Am I to say, then, that your whole story was a pack of lies, because you wished to appear a hero in her eyes?
LEONTICHUS
I’d be ashamed if you did.
I’d be ashamed if you did.
CHENIDAS
But that’s the only way she’ll come. You’ve only two choices; you can either be hated and retain your reputation for valour, or you can spend the night with Hymnis and admit you’ve been lying.
But that’s the only way she’ll come. You’ve only two choices; you can either be hated and retain your reputation for valour, or you can spend the night with Hymnis and admit you’ve been lying.
LEONTICHUS
Either choice goes against the grain; but I choose Hymnis. So go, Chenidas, and tell her that I did He, but it wasn’t
all lies.
Either choice goes against the grain; but I choose Hymnis. So go, Chenidas, and tell her that I did He, but it wasn’t
all lies.
Dialogi meretricii. Lucian of Samosata. Matthew Donald Macleod (Translator). Medford, MA. Perseus 5.0.
Sponsored by Perseus Project, Tufts University.
Funding provided by The National Endowment for the Humanities.