Joessa, Pythias and Lysias
JOESSA
So, Lysias, you’re turning up your nose at me? It serves me right, seeing that I never asked money of you, or locked you out when you came, telling you I had another man with me, or forced you to cheat your father or rob your mother to bring me something. That’s what all the other courtesans do, but I let you come in from the start, though you didn’t pay me anything or contribute your share of the meal, and I sent away ever so many lovers, as you know, men such as Theocles, who’s an important man in the Council at the moment, and Pasion, the shipowner, and your companion, Melissus, though he lost his father the other day and now has control of the estate. But you were my only love, my Phaon,
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and I wouldn’t look at anyone or have anyone near me but only you. For I thought in my folly that your vows were true, and for that reason I’ve devoted myself to you and lived as chaste a life as Penelope, though my mother shouts at me and runs me down before her friends. But ever since you realised that I doted on you, and you had me under your thumb, you’ve been having jokes with Lycena, before my very eyes, to annoy me, or at other times praising Magidium, the harp-girl, when we were dining together. These things make me cry and feel insulted. Only the other day, when you were drinking with Thraso and Diphilus, the company also included the flute-girl Cymbalium, and Pyrallis, whom I loathe. As you know that, I didn’t worry particularly at your kissing Cymbalium five times. To kiss a woman like that was an insult to yourself! But oh! the way you kept on making signs to Pyrallis, and would lift up your cup to her, when you drank, and whisper in the slave’s ear, when you returned the cup, telling him not to give anyone a drink unless Pyrallis asked for one! In the end you bit off a piece of your apple, when you saw Diphilus was busy talking to Thraso, and, bending forward, shot it with skilful aim into her bosom, without any attempt to hide it from me. She kissed it, and, dropping it between her breasts, tucked it under her girdle.
So, Lysias, you’re turning up your nose at me? It serves me right, seeing that I never asked money of you, or locked you out when you came, telling you I had another man with me, or forced you to cheat your father or rob your mother to bring me something. That’s what all the other courtesans do, but I let you come in from the start, though you didn’t pay me anything or contribute your share of the meal, and I sent away ever so many lovers, as you know, men such as Theocles, who’s an important man in the Council at the moment, and Pasion, the shipowner, and your companion, Melissus, though he lost his father the other day and now has control of the estate. But you were my only love, my Phaon,
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and I wouldn’t look at anyone or have anyone near me but only you. For I thought in my folly that your vows were true, and for that reason I’ve devoted myself to you and lived as chaste a life as Penelope, though my mother shouts at me and runs me down before her friends. But ever since you realised that I doted on you, and you had me under your thumb, you’ve been having jokes with Lycena, before my very eyes, to annoy me, or at other times praising Magidium, the harp-girl, when we were dining together. These things make me cry and feel insulted. Only the other day, when you were drinking with Thraso and Diphilus, the company also included the flute-girl Cymbalium, and Pyrallis, whom I loathe. As you know that, I didn’t worry particularly at your kissing Cymbalium five times. To kiss a woman like that was an insult to yourself! But oh! the way you kept on making signs to Pyrallis, and would lift up your cup to her, when you drank, and whisper in the slave’s ear, when you returned the cup, telling him not to give anyone a drink unless Pyrallis asked for one! In the end you bit off a piece of your apple, when you saw Diphilus was busy talking to Thraso, and, bending forward, shot it with skilful aim into her bosom, without any attempt to hide it from me. She kissed it, and, dropping it between her breasts, tucked it under her girdle.
Well, why do you act like that? Have I ever done anything great or small to harm or annoy you? Have I ever looked at another man? Don’t I live only for you? There’s nothing glorious, Lysias, in vexing like this a poor weak woman, who’s mad with love for you. There is such a goddess as Nemesis
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, and she sees things like this. Perhaps it will bring you grief when you hear that I lie dead, after hanging myself, or jumping head first into a well, or I’ll find some other way of killing myself, so that you won’t have the annoyance of seeing me any more. Then you’ll be able to swagger around with pride for a great and glorious achievement. Why do you look at me so angrily and gnash your teeth? If you have any complaint against me, speak up, and let Pythias here judge between us. Hullo? Are you going away and leaving me, without answering? Pythias, do you see how I’m being treated by Lysias?
Well, why do you act like that? Have I ever done anything great or small to harm or annoy you? Have I ever looked at another man? Don’t I live only for you? There’s nothing glorious, Lysias, in vexing like this a poor weak woman, who’s mad with love for you. There is such a goddess as Nemesis
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, and she sees things like this. Perhaps it will bring you grief when you hear that I lie dead, after hanging myself, or jumping head first into a well, or I’ll find some other way of killing myself, so that you won’t have the annoyance of seeing me any more. Then you’ll be able to swagger around with pride for a great and glorious achievement. Why do you look at me so angrily and gnash your teeth? If you have any complaint against me, speak up, and let Pythias here judge between us. Hullo? Are you going away and leaving me, without answering? Pythias, do you see how I’m being treated by Lysias?
PYTHIAS
What cruelty! Even your tears don’t soften his heart. He’s a stone, not a human being. But, if truth must be spoken, Joessa, you spoilt him by loving him too much, and letting him see it. You shouldn’t make very much of him at all. Men become proud when they see that. Stop crying, poor girl; take my advice and shut him out once or twice. Then you’ll find him burning with passion and really mad in his turn for your love.
What cruelty! Even your tears don’t soften his heart. He’s a stone, not a human being. But, if truth must be spoken, Joessa, you spoilt him by loving him too much, and letting him see it. You shouldn’t make very much of him at all. Men become proud when they see that. Stop crying, poor girl; take my advice and shut him out once or twice. Then you’ll find him burning with passion and really mad in his turn for your love.
JOESSA
Stop it! Don’t even say that! Me shut out Lysias? I only hope he won’t desert me first.
Stop it! Don’t even say that! Me shut out Lysias? I only hope he won’t desert me first.
PYTHIAS
He’s coming back again.
He’s coming back again.
JOESSA
You’ve ruined us, Pythias! Perhaps he’s heard you saying, “Shut him out!”
You’ve ruined us, Pythias! Perhaps he’s heard you saying, “Shut him out!”
LYSIAS
I’ve not come back because of her, Pythias, for I wouldn’t look at her till she changes her ways, but for your sake, so that you won’t think I’m in the wrong and say, “Lysias is heartless.”
I’ve not come back because of her, Pythias, for I wouldn’t look at her till she changes her ways, but for your sake, so that you won’t think I’m in the wrong and say, “Lysias is heartless.”
PYTHIAS
Indeed that’s just what I was saying, Lysias.
Indeed that’s just what I was saying, Lysias.
LYSIAS
So, Pythias, you expect me to put up with Joessa? She may be all tears now, but I myself found her being unfaithful to me and sleeping with another young man.
So, Pythias, you expect me to put up with Joessa? She may be all tears now, but I myself found her being unfaithful to me and sleeping with another young man.
PYTHIAS
Lysias, the point is that she’s a courtesan. But how did you catch them sleeping together?
Lysias, the point is that she’s a courtesan. But how did you catch them sleeping together?
LYSIAS
It was about five days ago; yes, by Jove, five it was, for it was the second of the month, and it’s the seventh today. My father, knowing that I’d long been in love with this paragon among women, had shut me in, with instructions to the porter that he wasn’t to open the door for me. But I, unable to stay away from her, told Dromo to bend down along the top of the courtyard wall at its lowest part, and let me mount his back. In that way I’d be able to climb up more easily. To cut my story short, I got over the wall, came here, and found the door carefully bolted, for it was midnight. I didn’t knock, but gently eased the door up off its hinges, as I’d done on earlier occasions, and, pushing it open, entered without making a sound. Everybody was asleep, and I felt my way along the wall till I was at the bed.
It was about five days ago; yes, by Jove, five it was, for it was the second of the month, and it’s the seventh today. My father, knowing that I’d long been in love with this paragon among women, had shut me in, with instructions to the porter that he wasn’t to open the door for me. But I, unable to stay away from her, told Dromo to bend down along the top of the courtyard wall at its lowest part, and let me mount his back. In that way I’d be able to climb up more easily. To cut my story short, I got over the wall, came here, and found the door carefully bolted, for it was midnight. I didn’t knock, but gently eased the door up off its hinges, as I’d done on earlier occasions, and, pushing it open, entered without making a sound. Everybody was asleep, and I felt my way along the wall till I was at the bed.
JOESSA
In Demeter’s name, what are you going to say? I’m on tenterhooks.
In Demeter’s name, what are you going to say? I’m on tenterhooks.
LYSIAS
When I could make out the breath of more than one person, at first I thought Lyde was sleeping with her. But that wasn’t so, Pythias, for, when I touched her companion, it was a smooth-chinned, soft-skinned man, with his head shaved, and reeking of scent like a woman. If I’d had my sword with me, when I’d made this discovery, believe me, I wouldn’t have hesitated! Why are you laughing, Pythias? Do you see anything funny in what I say?
When I could make out the breath of more than one person, at first I thought Lyde was sleeping with her. But that wasn’t so, Pythias, for, when I touched her companion, it was a smooth-chinned, soft-skinned man, with his head shaved, and reeking of scent like a woman. If I’d had my sword with me, when I’d made this discovery, believe me, I wouldn’t have hesitated! Why are you laughing, Pythias? Do you see anything funny in what I say?
JOESSA
Was that what annoyed you, Lysias? It was Pythias here who was sleeping with me.
Was that what annoyed you, Lysias? It was Pythias here who was sleeping with me.
PYTHIAS
Don’t tell him, Joessa.
Don’t tell him, Joessa.
JOESSA
Why not? It was Pythias, darling. I asked her to sleep with me, because I was miserable without you.
Why not? It was Pythias, darling. I asked her to sleep with me, because I was miserable without you.
LYSIAS
Pythias the man with the shaved head? Has she grown all this hair in the five days since then?
Pythias the man with the shaved head? Has she grown all this hair in the five days since then?
JOESSA
She had her head shaved, because she was ill and her hairs were falling out. But now she’s wearing a wig. Show him, Pythias, show him I’m telling the truth. Convince him. Take a look at the young man, the lover of whom you were so jealous!
She had her head shaved, because she was ill and her hairs were falling out. But now she’s wearing a wig. Show him, Pythias, show him I’m telling the truth. Convince him. Take a look at the young man, the lover of whom you were so jealous!
LYSIAS
Well, hadn’t I good reason? Especially as I loved you, and had touched your companion with my own hands?
Well, hadn’t I good reason? Especially as I loved you, and had touched your companion with my own hands?
JOESSA
Then you believe me now? Do you want me to get my own back by annoying you? I’ve a perfect right to be angry in my turn.
Then you believe me now? Do you want me to get my own back by annoying you? I’ve a perfect right to be angry in my turn.
LYSIAS
Please don’t. Let’s have some wine now, and Pythias with us. She ought to be there when the wine seals our truce.
Please don’t. Let’s have some wine now, and Pythias with us. She ought to be there when the wine seals our truce.
JOESSA
So she shall. Oh, but how I’ve suffered because of you, Pythias, you noble young fellow!
So she shall. Oh, but how I’ve suffered because of you, Pythias, you noble young fellow!
PYTHIAS
But I was also the one who made you friends again, and so you mustn’t be angry with me. But there’s one thing, Lysias. Be sure you tell nobody about my hair.
But I was also the one who made you friends again, and so you mustn’t be angry with me. But there’s one thing, Lysias. Be sure you tell nobody about my hair.
Dialogi meretricii. Lucian of Samosata. Matthew Donald Macleod (Translator). Medford, MA. Perseus 5.0.
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Funding provided by The National Endowment for the Humanities.