9
Simylus And Polystratus
SIMYLUS
So, you’ve come to join us at last, Polystratus, after living to be, I think, almost a hundred?
So, you’ve come to join us at last, Polystratus, after living to be, I think, almost a hundred?
POLYSTRATUS
Ninety-eight, Simylus.
Ninety-eight, Simylus.
SIMYLUS
Whatever sort of life did you have for these thirty years after my death? I died when you were about seventy.
Whatever sort of life did you have for these thirty years after my death? I died when you were about seventy.
POLYSTRATUS
An exceedingly pleasant life, even if you will think it strange.
An exceedingly pleasant life, even if you will think it strange.
SIMYLUS
Strange indeed, if you were not only old and weak but also childless, and yet could enjoy life.
Strange indeed, if you were not only old and weak but also childless, and yet could enjoy life.
POLYSTRATUS
At first, I could do anything. I still could enjoy plenty of pretty boys, and the nicest women, unguents and fragrant wine, and a table to outdo any in Sicily.
At first, I could do anything. I still could enjoy plenty of pretty boys, and the nicest women, unguents and fragrant wine, and a table to outdo any in Sicily.
SIMYLUS
That’s something new. I knew you to be very sparing.
That’s something new. I knew you to be very sparing.
POLYSTRATUS
Ah, but the good things came pouring in from others, my good fellow; at crack of dawn crowds of folk would start flocking to my doors, and later in the day all kinds of choice gifts from every corner of the earth would arrive.
Ah, but the good things came pouring in from others, my good fellow; at crack of dawn crowds of folk would start flocking to my doors, and later in the day all kinds of choice gifts from every corner of the earth would arrive.
SIMYLUS
Did you become tyrant, Polystratus, after my time?
Did you become tyrant, Polystratus, after my time?
POLYSTRATUS
No, but I had thousands of lovers.
No, but I had thousands of lovers.
SIMYLUS
You make me laugh. Lovers? At your age? With only four teeth in your head?
You make me laugh. Lovers? At your age? With only four teeth in your head?
POLYSTRATUS
Yes indeed, the noblest lovers in the city. Though I was old and bald, as you see, yes, and blear-eyed and snivelling too, they were delighted to court me, and anyone of them I favoured with a mere glance thought himself in heaven.
Yes indeed, the noblest lovers in the city. Though I was old and bald, as you see, yes, and blear-eyed and snivelling too, they were delighted to court me, and anyone of them I favoured with a mere glance thought himself in heaven.
SIMYLUS
You weren’t another to have a divine passenger, as did Phaon,
1
when he ferried Aphrodite over from Chios, and have your prayers answered, becoming young, handsome and attractive all over again?
You weren’t another to have a divine passenger, as did Phaon,
1
when he ferried Aphrodite over from Chios, and have your prayers answered, becoming young, handsome and attractive all over again?
POLYSTRATUS
No, I was the desire of all, though just as you see me now.
No, I was the desire of all, though just as you see me now.
SIMYLUS
You’re talking in riddles.
You’re talking in riddles.
POLYSTRATUS
Yet this great love for rich, childless old men is there for all to see.
Yet this great love for rich, childless old men is there for all to see.
SIMYLUS
Now I understand your beauty, you old wonder; it came from the golden Aphrodite.
Now I understand your beauty, you old wonder; it came from the golden Aphrodite.
POLYSTRATUS
And no small enjoyment, Simylus, my lovers have brought me; I was almost worshipped by them. Often I would be coy, and occasionally bar my door to some of them, but they would vie with each other in their zeal for my affection.
And no small enjoyment, Simylus, my lovers have brought me; I was almost worshipped by them. Often I would be coy, and occasionally bar my door to some of them, but they would vie with each other in their zeal for my affection.
SIMYLUS
But what decision did you make about your property in the end?
But what decision did you make about your property in the end?
POLYSTRATUS
I would keep saying in public that I had left each of them as my heir, and each would believe me, and show himself more assiduous than ever in his flattery; but all the time my real will was different and I left them—instructions to go to the devil one and all.
I would keep saying in public that I had left each of them as my heir, and each would believe me, and show himself more assiduous than ever in his flattery; but all the time my real will was different and I left them—instructions to go to the devil one and all.
SIMYLUS
And who was the heir under your final will? One of your family, no doubt?
And who was the heir under your final will? One of your family, no doubt?
POLYSTRATUS
Good heavens no; it was a pretty boy from Phrygia I’d just bought.
Good heavens no; it was a pretty boy from Phrygia I’d just bought.
SIMYLUS
What sort of age was he?
What sort of age was he?
POLYSTRATUS
Roughly about twenty.
Roughly about twenty.
SIMYLUS
Now I understand how he won your favour.
Now I understand how he won your favour.
POLYSTRATUS
Oh well, he deserved to be my heir much more than they did, even if he was a barbarian and a pest. He’s already being courted by the noblest of them all. So he became my heir, and is now numbered among the aristocrats, and, despite his smooth chin and foreign accent, is credited with bluer blood than Codrus, greater beauty than NIreus, and more intelligence than Odysseus.
Oh well, he deserved to be my heir much more than they did, even if he was a barbarian and a pest. He’s already being courted by the noblest of them all. So he became my heir, and is now numbered among the aristocrats, and, despite his smooth chin and foreign accent, is credited with bluer blood than Codrus, greater beauty than NIreus, and more intelligence than Odysseus.
SIMYLUS
That doesn’t worry me. Let him even be Generalissimo of Greece, if he wishes to, so long as those fellows don’t inherit.
That doesn’t worry me. Let him even be Generalissimo of Greece, if he wishes to, so long as those fellows don’t inherit.
Dialogi mortuorum. Lucian of Samosata. Matthew Donald Macleod (Translator). Medford, MA. Perseus 5.0.
Sponsored by Perseus Project, Tufts University.
Funding provided by The National Endowment for the Humanities.