Pisthetaerus: And now, then, first I teach that there is a city of birds,
550
Pisthetaerus: And then the whole air in a circle and all this in between.
Pisthetaerus: to wall it in with large baked bricks, like Babylon.
Epopus: O Kebrión and Porphyrión, what a fearsome city this is.
Pisthetaerus: and then, if this has been restored, demand the beginning from Zeus;
Pisthetaerus: and if he does not say, nor is willing, nor immediately enters into a trial by combat,
555
Pisthetaerus: to wage a holy war against him, and to declare war against the gods as well
Pisthetaerus: since they have been born in your country, they should not frequent it.
Pisthetaerus: just as before they descended, having committed adultery with Alcmene's
Pisthetaerus: and the Alopes and the Semeles; for if she has pursued, she will attack.
Pisthetaerus: a seal for them on the penis, so that they may not wet them any longer.
560
Pisthetaerus: but I order that a different bird be sent as a herald to the men,
Pisthetaerus: that in future we must sacrifice to the birds as if the birds were ruling,
Pisthetaerus: And then later to the gods again; to distribute appropriately.
Pisthetaerus: to the gods of the birds whoever is fitting for each one individually;
Pisthetaerus: If you sacrifice to Aphrodite, you must sacrifice barley to the sparrow.
565
Pisthetaerus: If anyone sacrifices wine to Poseidon, let him boil the wheat to make it pure;
Pisthetairos: But if anyone sacrifices to Heracles, they should sacrifice to the lark honeyed guts;
Pisthetaerus: Even if he sacrifices a ram to Zeus the king, the king is the oryx bird,
Pisthetaerus: To which of them first must he sacrifice the self-castrated eunuch of Zeus.
Euelpides: I rejoiced at the sacrifice of a slave. Let the great Zeus thunder now.
570
Chorus: And how do men think us gods and not jackdaws,
Chorus: Shall we fly, and shall we have wings?
Pisthetairos: You are talking nonsense; and by Zeus, Hermes too
Pisthetaerus: Being a god, he flies and wears wings, and there are many other gods too.
Pisthetairos: Immediately, Victory flies with golden wings, and by Zeus, so does Eros;
Pisthetaerus: But Homer said that Hera was like the hole-piercing dove.
575
Euelpides: But will Zeus send us a winged thunderbolt without thundering?
Pisthetaerus: But if they think that you are ignorant, since you do nothing,
Pisthetaerus: and these gods in Olympus must then have a flock of sparrows lifted up.
Pisthetaerus: and to dig up the seed of these seed-eaters from the fields;
Pisthetairos: And then let Demeter measure out barley to them while they are hungry.
580
Euelpides: No, by Zeus, he will not be willing, but you will see her providing excuses.
Pisthetaerus: And the crows, with which they curse the fields,
Pisthetaerus: and [make] them gouge out the sheep's eyes as a trial;
Pisthetaerus: Then let Apollo, being a physician, heal; for he receives a fee.
Euelpides: Not before I repay my oxherd my own first.
585
Pisthetaerus: If they think of you as a god, you as life, you as earth, you as Cronus, you as Poseidon,
Pisthetairos: All these things will be present for them.
Epops: Speak now to me one of the good things.
Pisthetaerus: first of all, the thieves do not eat their wine-roses,
Pisthetaerus: But a single ambush of owls and kestrels will crush them.
Pisthetaerus: Then the jackdaws and hornets are always devouring the figs,
590
Pisthetaerus: But a single flock of quails will pick them all clean.