Publius Terentius Afer (Terence) Adelphi 4.2

DEMEA

(to himself.)

I certainly am an unfortunate man. In the first place, I can find my brother nowhere; and then, in the next place, while looking for him, I met a day-laborer ¹ from the farm; he says that my son is not in the country, and what to do I know not—

540

CTESIPHO

(apart.)

Syrus!

SYRUS

(apart.)

What’s the matter?

CTESIPHO

(apart.)

Is he looking for me?

SYRUS

(apart.)

Yes.

CTESIPHO

(apart.)

Undone!

SYRUS

(apart.)

Nay, do be of good heart.

DEMEA

(to himself.)

Plague on it! what ill luck is this? I can not really account for it,

unless I suppose myself only born for the purpose of enduring misery. I am the first to feel our misfortunes; the first to know of them all; then the first to carry the news; I am the only one, if any thing does go wrong, to take it to heart.

545

SYRUS

(apart.)

I’m amused at him; he says that he is the first to know of every thing, while he is the only one ignorant of every thing.

DEMEA

(to himself.)

I’ve now come back; and I’ll go see whether perchance my brother has yet returned.

CTESIPHO

(apart.)

Syrus,

pray do take care that he doesn’t suddenly rush in upon us here.

550

SYRUS

(apart.)

Now will you hold your tongue? I’ll take care.

CTESIPHO

(apart.)

Never this day will I depend on your management for that, upon my faith;

for I’ll shut myself up with her in some cupboard ² —that’s the safest.

(Goes into the house.)

SYRUS

(apart.)

Do so, still I’ll get rid of him.

DEMEA

(seeing SYRUS.)

But see! there’s that rascal, Syrus.

SYRUS

(aloud, pretending not to see DEMEA.)

Really, upon my faith, no person can stay here, if this is to be the case!

For my part, I should like to know how many masters I have—what a cursed condition this is

555

DEMEA

What’s he whining about? What does he mean? How say you, good sir, is my brother at home?

SYRUS

What the plague do you talk to me about, good sir? I’m quite distracted!

DEMEA

What’s the matter with you?

SYRUS

Do you ask the question? Ctesipho has been beating me, poor wretch, and that Music-girl, almost to death.

DEMEA

Ha! what is it you tell me?

SYRUS

Aye, seehow he has cut my lip.

(Pretends to point to it.)

DEMEA

For what reason?

560

SYRUS

He says that she was bought by my advice.

DEMEA

Did not you tell me, a short time since, that you had seen him on his way into the country?

SYRUS

I did; but he afterward came back, raving like a madman; he spared nobody—ought he not to have been ashamed to beat an old man? Him whom, only the other day, I used to carry about in my arms when thus high?

(Showing.)

DEMEA

I commend him; O Ctesipho, you take after your father. Well, I do pronounce you a man.

SYRUS

Commend him? Assuredly he will keep his hands to himself in future, if he’s wise.

565

DEMEA

’Twas done with spirit.

SYRUS

Very much so, to be beating a poor woman, and me, a slave, who didn’t dare strike him in return; heyday! very spirited indeed!

DEMEA

He could not have done better; he thought the same as I did, that you were the principal in this affair. But is my brother within?

SYRUS

He is not.

DEMEA

I’m thinking where to look for him.

SYRUS

I know where he is—but I shall not tell you at present.

570

DEMEA

Ha! what’s that you say?

SYRUS

I do say so.

DEMEA

Then I’ll break your head for you this instant.

SYRUS

I can’t tell the person’s name he’s gone to, but I know the place where he lives.

DEMEA

Tell me the place then.

SYRUS

Do you know the portico down this way, just by the shambles?

(Pointing in the direction.)

DEMEA

How should I but know it?

SYRUS

Go straight along, right up that street; when you come there,

there is a descent right opposite that goes down-ward, go straight down that; afterward, on this side (extending one hand), there is a chapel: close by it is a narrow lane,

575

where there’s also a great wild fig-tree.

DEMEA

I know it.

SYRUS

Go through that—

DEMEA

But that lane is not a thoroughfare.

SYRUS

I’ faith, that’s true; dear, dear, would you take me to be in my senses? ³ I made a mistake. Return to the portico;

indeed that will be a much nearer way, and there is less going round about you know the house of Cratinus, the rich man?

580

DEMEA

I know it.

SYRUS

When you have passed that, keep straight along that street on the left hand; ⁴ when you come to the Temple of Diana, turn to the right; before you come to the city gate, ⁵ just by that pond, there is a baker’s shop, and opposite to it a joiner’s; there he is.

DEMEA

What is he doing there?

SYRUS

He has given some couches to be made, with oaken legs, for use in the open air. ⁶

585

DEMEA

For you to carouse upon! Very fine ! But why do I delay going to him?

(Exit.)

SYRUS

Go, by all means. I’ll work you to day, you skeleton, ⁷ as you deserve. Aeschinus loiters intolerably; the breakfast’s spoiling; and as for Ctesipho, he’s head and ears in love. ⁸ I shall now think of myself,

for I’ll be off at once, and pick out the very nicest bit, and, leisurely sipping my cups, ⁹ I’ll lengthen out the day.

590

(Goes into the house.)