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348
(Enter, at a distance, DEMIPHO, HEGIO, CRATINUS, and CRITO, following him.)
DEMIPHO
Well now—did you ever hear of an injury being done to any person in a more affronting manner than this has to me?
Assist me, I do beg of you.
350
Well now—did you ever hear of an injury being done to any person in a more affronting manner than this has to me?
Assist me, I do beg of you.
350
GETA
(apart.)
He’s in a passion.
He’s in a passion.
PHORMIO
(apart.)
Do you mind your cue; I’ll rouse him just now.
(Stepping forward and crying aloud.) Oh immortal Gods! does Demipho deny that Phanium here is related to him?
Do you mind your cue; I’ll rouse him just now.
(Stepping forward and crying aloud.) Oh immortal Gods! does Demipho deny that Phanium here is related to him?
GETA
He does deny it.
He does deny it.
DEMIPHO
(to his friends.)
I believe it is the very man I was speaking about. Follow me.
(They all come forward.)
I believe it is the very man I was speaking about. Follow me.
(They all come forward.)
PHORMIO
(to GETA.)
And that he knows who her father was?
And that he knows who her father was?
GETA
He does deny it.
355
He does deny it.
355
PHORMIO
And that he knows who Stilpho was?
And that he knows who Stilpho was?
GETA
He does deny it.
He does deny it.
PHORMIO
Because the poor thing was left destitute, her father is disowned; she herself is slighted: see what avarice does.
Because the poor thing was left destitute, her father is disowned; she herself is slighted: see what avarice does.
GETA
(in a loud voice.)
If you are going to accuse my: master of avarice, you shall hear what you won’t like.
If you are going to accuse my: master of avarice, you shall hear what you won’t like.
DEMIPHO
Oh, the impudence of the fellow! Does he come on purpose to accuse me?
360
Oh, the impudence of the fellow! Does he come on purpose to accuse me?
360
PHORMIO
For really, I have no reason why I should be offended at the young man, if he did not know him; since that person, when growing aged and poor, and supporting himself by his labor, generally confined himself to the country; there he had a piece of land from my father
to cultivate; full oft, in the mean time, did the old. man tell me that this kinsman of his neglected him: but what a man? The very best I ever saw in all my life.
365
For really, I have no reason why I should be offended at the young man, if he did not know him; since that person, when growing aged and poor, and supporting himself by his labor, generally confined himself to the country; there he had a piece of land from my father
to cultivate; full oft, in the mean time, did the old. man tell me that this kinsman of his neglected him: but what a man? The very best I ever saw in all my life.
365
GETA
(in a loud voice.)
Look to yourself as well as to him, how you speak.
Look to yourself as well as to him, how you speak.
PHORMIO
(with affected indignation.)
Away, to utter perdition, with you. For if I had not formed such an opinion of him, I should never
have incurred such enmity with your family on her account, whom he now slights in such an ungenerous manner.
370
Away, to utter perdition, with you. For if I had not formed such an opinion of him, I should never
have incurred such enmity with your family on her account, whom he now slights in such an ungenerous manner.
370
GETA
(aloud.)
What, do you persist in speaking abusively of my master in his absence, you most abominable fellow?
What, do you persist in speaking abusively of my master in his absence, you most abominable fellow?
PHORMIO
Why, it’s just what he deserves.
Why, it’s just what he deserves.
GETA
(aloud.)
Say you so, you jail-bird?
Say you so, you jail-bird?
DEMIPHO
(calling aloud.)
Geta!
Geta!
GETA
(aloud.)
A plunderer of people’s property—a perverter of the laws!
A plunderer of people’s property—a perverter of the laws!
DEMIPHO
(calling aloud.)
Geta!
Geta!
PHORMIO
(apart, in a low voice.)
Answer him.
375
Answer him.
375
GETA
Who is it?
(Looking round.) Oh!—
Who is it?
(Looking round.) Oh!—
DEMIPHO
Hold your peace.
Hold your peace.
GETA
He has never left off uttering abuse against you behind your back, unworthy of you, and just befitting himself.
He has never left off uttering abuse against you behind your back, unworthy of you, and just befitting himself.
DEMIPHO
Well now, have done.
(Addressing PHORMIO.) Young man, in the first place, with your good leave, I ask you this, if you may possibly be pleased to give me an answer:
explain to me who this friend of yours was, that you speak of, and how he said that he was related to me.
380
Well now, have done.
(Addressing PHORMIO.) Young man, in the first place, with your good leave, I ask you this, if you may possibly be pleased to give me an answer:
explain to me who this friend of yours was, that you speak of, and how he said that he was related to me.
380
PHORMIO
(sneeringly.)
You are fishing it out, just as if you didn’t know.
You are fishing it out, just as if you didn’t know.
DEMIPHO
I, know?
I, know?
PHORMIO
Yes.
Yes.
DEMIPHO
I say I do not; you, Who affirm it, recall it to my recollection.
I say I do not; you, Who affirm it, recall it to my recollection.
PHORMIO
Come now, didn’t you know your own cousin-ger-man?
Come now, didn’t you know your own cousin-ger-man?
DEMIPHO
You torture me to death;
tell me his name.
385
You torture me to death;
tell me his name.
385
PHORMIO
His name?
His name?
DEMIPHO
Of course.
(PHORMIO hesitates.) Why are you silent now?
Of course.
(PHORMIO hesitates.) Why are you silent now?
PHORMIO
(aside.)
Heavens, I’m undone; I’ve forgot the name.
Heavens, I’m undone; I’ve forgot the name.
DEMIPHO
Well, what do you say?
Well, what do you say?
PHORMIO
(aside, to GETA.)
Geta, if you recollect the name I told you a short time since, prompt me.
(Aloud, to DEMIPHO.) Well then, I sha’n’t tell you; as if you didn’t know, you come to pump me.
Geta, if you recollect the name I told you a short time since, prompt me.
(Aloud, to DEMIPHO.) Well then, I sha’n’t tell you; as if you didn’t know, you come to pump me.
DEMIPHO
I, come to pump you, indeed?
I, come to pump you, indeed?
GETA
(whispering to PHORMIO.)
Stilpho.
Stilpho.
PHORMIO
But, after all, what matters that to me?
It is Stilpho.
390
But, after all, what matters that to me?
It is Stilpho.
390
DEMIPHO
Whom did you say?
Whom did you say?
PHORMIO
Stilpho, I tell you; you knew him.
Stilpho, I tell you; you knew him.
DEMIPHO
I neither know him, nor had I ever any relation of that name.
I neither know him, nor had I ever any relation of that name.
PHORMIO
Say you so? Are you not ashamed of this? But if he had left you ten talents—
Say you so? Are you not ashamed of this? But if he had left you ten talents—
DEMIPHO
May the Gods confound you!
May the Gods confound you!
PHORMIO
You’d have been the first, from memory,
to trace your line of kindred, even as far back as from grandfather and great-grandfather.
395
You’d have been the first, from memory,
to trace your line of kindred, even as far back as from grandfather and great-grandfather.
395
DEMIPHO
Very likely what you say. In that case, when I had undertaken it, I should have shown how she was related to me; do you do the same: tell me, how is she related to me?
Very likely what you say. In that case, when I had undertaken it, I should have shown how she was related to me; do you do the same: tell me, how is she related to me?
GETA
Well done, my master, that’s right!
(Threateningly to PHORMIO.) Hark you, take you care.
Well done, my master, that’s right!
(Threateningly to PHORMIO.) Hark you, take you care.
PHORMIO
I’ve already made the matter quite plain where I ought,
before the judges; besides, if it was untrue, why didn’t your son disprove it?
400
I’ve already made the matter quite plain where I ought,
before the judges; besides, if it was untrue, why didn’t your son disprove it?
400
DEMIPHO
Do you talk about my son to me? Of whose folly there is no speaking in the language it deserves.
Do you talk about my son to me? Of whose folly there is no speaking in the language it deserves.
PHORMIO
Then do you, who are so wise, go to the magistrates, that for you they may give a second decision in the same cause,
since you reign alone
1
here, and are the only man allowed to get a second trial in the same cause.
405
Then do you, who are so wise, go to the magistrates, that for you they may give a second decision in the same cause,
since you reign alone
1
here, and are the only man allowed to get a second trial in the same cause.
405
DEMIPHO
Although wrong has been done me, still, however, rather than engage in litigation, or listen to you, just as though she had been my relation, as the law orders
one to find her a portion, rid me of her, and take five minae.
410
Although wrong has been done me, still, however, rather than engage in litigation, or listen to you, just as though she had been my relation, as the law orders
one to find her a portion, rid me of her, and take five minae.
410
PHORMIO
laughing.) Ha, ha, ha! a pleasant individual!
laughing.) Ha, ha, ha! a pleasant individual!
DEMIPHO
Well! am I asking any thing unfair? Or am I not to obtain even this, which is my right at common law?
Well! am I asking any thing unfair? Or am I not to obtain even this, which is my right at common law?
PHORMIO
Pray, really is it so, that when you have abused-her like a courtesan, the law orders you to pay her hire and pack her off? Or
is it the fact, that in order that a citizen may bring no disgrace upon herself through poverty, she has been ordered to be given to her nearest relative, to pass her life with him alone? A thing which you mean to prevent.
415
Pray, really is it so, that when you have abused-her like a courtesan, the law orders you to pay her hire and pack her off? Or
is it the fact, that in order that a citizen may bring no disgrace upon herself through poverty, she has been ordered to be given to her nearest relative, to pass her life with him alone? A thing which you mean to prevent.
415
DEMIPHO
Yes, to her nearest.relative, indeed; but why to us, or on what ground?
Yes, to her nearest.relative, indeed; but why to us, or on what ground?
PHORMIO
Well, well, a thing tried, they say, you can’t try over again.
Well, well, a thing tried, they say, you can’t try over again.
DEMIPHO
Not try it? On the contrary, I shall not desist
until I have gone through with it.
420
Not try it? On the contrary, I shall not desist
until I have gone through with it.
420
PHORMIO
You are trifling.
You are trifling.
DEMIPHO
Only let me alone for that.
Only let me alone for that.
PHORMIO
In short, Demipho, I have nothing to do with you; your son has been cast, and not you; for your time of life for marrying has now gone by.
In short, Demipho, I have nothing to do with you; your son has been cast, and not you; for your time of life for marrying has now gone by.
DEMIPHO
Consider that it is he that says to you all I now say,
or else assuredly, together with this wife of his, I’ll be forbidding him the house.
425
Consider that it is he that says to you all I now say,
or else assuredly, together with this wife of his, I’ll be forbidding him the house.
425
GETA
(aside.)
He’s in a passion.
He’s in a passion.
PHORMIO
You’ll be acting more considerately.
You’ll be acting more considerately.
DEMIPHO
Are you so resolved, you unlucky fellow, to do me all the mischief you can?
Are you so resolved, you unlucky fellow, to do me all the mischief you can?
PHORMIO
(aside, to GETA.)
He’s afraid of us, although he’s so careful to conceal it.
He’s afraid of us, although he’s so careful to conceal it.
GETA
(aside, to PHORMIO.)
Your beginning has turned out well.
Your beginning has turned out well.
PHORMIO
But if, on the contrary,
you endure what must be endured, you’ll be doing what’s worthy of you, so that we may be on friendly terms.
430
But if, on the contrary,
you endure what must be endured, you’ll be doing what’s worthy of you, so that we may be on friendly terms.
430
DEMIPHO
(indignantly.)
What, I seek your friendship, or have any wish to see or hear you?
What, I seek your friendship, or have any wish to see or hear you?
PHORMIO
If you can agree with her, you will have some one to cheer up your old age; just consider your time of life.
If you can agree with her, you will have some one to cheer up your old age; just consider your time of life.
DEMIPHO
Let her cheer up yourself; keep her to yourself.
435
Let her cheer up yourself; keep her to yourself.
435
PHORMIO
Really, do moderate your passion.
Really, do moderate your passion.
DEMIPHO
Mark what I say. There have been words enough already; if you don’t make haste to fetch away the woman, I shall turn her out: I have said it, Phormio.
Mark what I say. There have been words enough already; if you don’t make haste to fetch away the woman, I shall turn her out: I have said it, Phormio.
PHORMIO
If you use her in any other manner than is befitting a free-born woman, I shall be bringing a swinging action against you: I have said it, Demipho.
(To GETA.) Hark you, if there should be any occasion for me, I shall be at home.
440
If you use her in any other manner than is befitting a free-born woman, I shall be bringing a swinging action against you: I have said it, Demipho.
(To GETA.) Hark you, if there should be any occasion for me, I shall be at home.
440
GETA
(apart.)
I understand you.
(Exit PHORMIO.)
I understand you.
Phormio. Publius Terentius Afer (Terence). Henry Thomas Riley (Translator), George Colman (Translator). Ney York. 1874.
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