Publius Terentius Afer (Terence) Eunuchus 3.1

THRASO

Did Thais really return me many thanks?

390

GNATHO

Exceeding thanks.

THRASO

Was she delighted, say you?

GNATHO

Not so much, indeed, at the present itself, as because it was given by you; really, in right earnest, she does exult at that.

(Enter PARMIENO unseen, from LACHES’ house.)

PARMENO

(apart.)

I’ve come here to be on the look-out, that when there is an opportunity I may take the presents. But see, here’s the Captain.

THRASO

Undoubtedly it is the case with me

, that every thing I do is a cause for thankfulness.

395

GNATHO

Upon my faith, I’ve observed it.

THRASO

The most mighty King, ¹ even, always used to give me especial thanks for whatever I did; but not so to others.

GNATHO

He who has the wit that you have, often by his words appropriates to himself the glory that has been achieved by the labor of others.

THRASO

You’ve just hit it. ²

GNATHO

The king, then, kept you in his eye. ³

THRASO

Just so.

GNATHO

To enjoy your society.

THRASO

True; he intrusted to me all his army, all his state secrets.

GNATHO

Astonishing!

THRASO

Then if, on any occasion, a surfeit of society, or a dislike of business, came upon him, when he was desirous to take some recreation; just as though—you understand? ⁴

GNATHO

I know;

just as though on occasion he would rid his mind of those anxieties.

405

THRASO

You have it. Then he used to take me aside as his only boon companion.

GNATHO

Whew! You are telling of a King of refined taste.

THRASO

Aye, he is a person of that sort; a man of but very few acquaintanceships.

GNATHO

(aside.)

Indeed, of none, ⁵ I fancy, if he’s on intimate terms with you.

THRASO

All the people envied me,

and attacked me privately. I don’t care one straw. They envied me dreadfully; but one in particular, whom the King had appointed over the Indian elephants. ⁶ Once, when he became particularly troublesome, Prithee, Strato, said I, are you so fierce because you hold command over the wild beasts?

410

GNATHO

Cleverly said, upon my faith, and shrewdly. Astounding! You did give the fellow a home thrust. What said he?

415

THRASO

Dumfounded, instantaneously.

GNATHO

How could he be otherwise?

PARMENO

(apart.)

Ye Gods, by our trust in you! a lost and miserable fellow the one, and the other a scoundrel.

THRASO

Well then, about that: matter, Gnatho, the way in which I touched up the Rhodian at a banquet—

did I never tell you?

420

GNATHO

Never; but pray, do tell me. (Aside.) I’ve heard it more than a thousand times already.

THRASO

There was in my company at a banquet, this young man of Rhodes, whom I’m speaking of. By chance I had a mistress there; he began to toy with her, and to annoy me. What are you doing, sir impudence? said I to the fellow;

a hare yourself, and looking out for game? ⁷

425

GNATHO

(pretending to laugh very heartily.)

Ha, ha, ha!

THRASO

What’s the matter?

GNATHO

How apt, how smart, how clever; nothing could be more excellent. Prithee, was this a saying of yours? I fancied it was an old one.

THRASO

Did you ever hear it before?

GNATHO

Many a time; and it is mentioned among the first-rate ones.

THRASO

It’s my own.

GNATHO

I’m sorry though that it was said to a thoughtless young man, and one of respectability.

PARMENO

(apart.)

May the Gods confound you!

430

GNATHO

Pray, what did he do?

THRASO

Quite disconcerted. All who were present were dying with laughter; in short, they were all quite afraid of me.

GNATHO

[Not without reason.

THRASO

But hark you, had I best clear myself of this to Thais, as to her suspicion that I’m fond of this girl?

GNATHO

By no means:

on the contrary, rather increase her jealousy.

435

THRASO

Why so?

GNATHO

Do you ask me? Don’t you see, if on any occasion she makes mention of Phaedria or commends him, to provoke you—

THRASO

I understand.

GNATHO

That such may not be the case, this method is the only remedy. When she speaks of Phaedria, do you instantly mention Pamphila.

If at any time she says, Let’s invite Phaedria to make one, do you say, Let’s ask Pamphila to sing. If she praises his good looks, do you, on the other hand, praise hers. In short, do you return like for like, which will mortify her.

440

THRASO

If, indeed, she loved me, ⁸ this might be of some use, Gnatho.

445

GNATHO

Since she is impatient for and loves that which you give her, she already loves you; as it is, then, it is an easy matter for her to feel vexed. She will be always afraid lest the presents which she herself is now getting, you may on some occasion be taking elsewhere.

THRASO

Well said; that never came into my mind.

450

GNATHO

Nonsense. You never thought about it; else how much more readily would you yourself have hit upon it, Thraso!