Plautus Trinummus 2.1

LYSITELES

I am revolving many things in my mind at once, and much uneasiness do I find in thinking upon them.

I tease, and fret, and wear myself out; a mind that enjoins a hard task ¹ is now my master. But this thing is not clear to me, nor has it been enough studied by me, which pursuit of these two I should rather follow for myself; which of the two I should think of the greater stability for passing my life therein:

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whether it were preferable for me to devote myself to love or to aggrandisement; in which alternative there is more enjoyment of life in passing one’s days. On this point I am not fully satisfied. But this I think I’ll do, that I may weigh both the points together, I must be both judge and culprit in this trial:

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I’ll do so—I like it much. First of all, I will enlarge upon the pursuits of love, how they conduce to one’s welfare. Love never expects any but the willing man to throw himself in his toils; these he seeks for, these he follows up, and craftily counsels against their interests. He is a fawning flatterer, a rapacious grappler ² , a deceiver,

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a sweet-tooth, a spoiler, a corrupter of men who court retirement, a pryer into secrets. For he that is in love, soon as ever he has been smitten with the kisses of the object that he loves, forthwith his substance vanishes out of doors and melts away. Give me this thing ³ , my honey, if you love me, if you possibly can.

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And then this gudgeon says: O apple of my eye, be it so: both that shall be given you, and still more, if you wish it to be given. Then does she strike while he is wavering ⁴ ; and now she begs for more. Not enough is this evil, unless there is still something more—what to eat, what to drink. A thing that creates ⁵ a further expense,

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the favour of a night is granted; a whole family is then introduced for her—a wardrobe-woman ⁶ a perfume-keeper ⁷ , a cofferer, fan-bearers ⁸ , sandal-bearers ⁹ , singing-girls, casket-keepers ¹⁰ , messengers, news-carriers, so many wasters of his bread and substance. The lover himself, while to them he is complaisant, becomes a beggar.

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When I revolve these things in my mind, and when I reflect how little one is valued when he is in need; away with you, Love—I like you not—no converse do I hold with you. Although ’tis sweet to feast and to carouse, Love still gives bitters enough to be distasteful.

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He avoids the Courts ¹¹ of justice, he drives away your relations, and drives yourself away from your own contemplation. Nor do men wish that he should be called their friend. In a thousand ways is Love to be held a stranger, to be kept at a distance, and to be wholly abstained from.

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For he who plunges into love, perishes more dreadfully than if he leapt from a rock. Away with you, Love, if you please; keep your owns ¹² property to yourself. Love, never be you a friend of mine; some there are, however, whom, in their misery, you may keep miserable and wretched—

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those whom you have easily rendered submissive to yourself. My fixed determination is to apply my mind to my advancement in life, although, in that, great labour is undergone by the mind. Good men wish these things for themselves, gain, credit, and honour, glory, and esteem; these are the rewards of the upright.

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It delights me, then, the more, to live together with the upright rather than with the deceitful promulgators of lies.

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