T. Maccius Plautus Rudens 1.2

PLESIDIPPUS

I have both withdrawn you from your avocations,

and that has not succeeded on account of which I’ve brought you; I could not catch the Procurer down at the harbour. But I have been unwilling to abandon all hope by reason of my remissness; on that account, my friends, have I the longer detained you. Now hither to the Temple of Venus am I come to see,

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where he was saying that he was about to perform a sacrifice.

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SCEPARNIO

(aloud to himself, at a distance.)

If I am wise, I shall be getting ready this clay that is awaiting me.

(Falls to work digging.)

PLESIDIPPUS

(looking round.)

Some one, I know not who, is speaking near to me.

(Enter DAEMONES, from his house.)

DAEMONES

Hallo! Sceparnio!

SCEPARNIO

Who’s calling me by name?

DAEMONES

He who paid his money for you.

SCEPARNIO

(turning round.)

As though you would say, Daemones, that I am your slave.

DAEMONES

There’s occasion for plenty of clay ¹ , therefore dig up plenty of earth. I find that the whole of my cottage must be covered; for now it’s shining through it, more full of holes than a sieve.

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PLESIDIPPUS

(advancing.)

Health to you, good father, and to both of you, indeed.

DAEMONES

Health to you.

SCEPARNIO

(to PLESIDIPPUS, who is muffled up in a coat.)

But whether are you male or female, who are calling him father?

PLESIDIPPUS

Why really, I’m a man.

DAEMONES

Then, man, go seek a father elsewhere.

I once had an only daughter, that only one I lost. Of the male sex I never had a child.

PLESIDIPPUS

But the Gods will give—

SCEPARNIO

(going on digging.)

A heavy mischance to you indeed, I’ faith, whoever you are, who are occupying us, already occupied, with your prating.

PLESIDIPPUS

(pointing to the cottage.)

Pray are you dwelling there?

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SCEPARNIO

Why do you ask that? Are you reconnoitring the place for you to come and rob there?

PLESIDIPPUS

It befits a slave to be right rich in his savings, whom, in the presence of his master, the conversation cannot escape, or who is to speak rudely to a free man.

SCEPARNIO

And it befits a man to be shameless and impudent, for him to whom there’s nothing owing, of his own accord to come to the house of another person annoying people.

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DAEMONES

Sceparnio, hold your tongue.

(To PLESIDIPPUS.) What do you want, young man?

PLESIDIPPUS

A mishap to that fellow, who is in a hurry to be the first to speak when his master’s present.

But, unless it’s troublesome, I wish to make enquiry of you in a few words.

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DAEMONES

My attention shall be given you, even though in the midst of business.

SCEPARNIO

(to PLESIDIPPUS.)

Rather, be off with you to the marsh, and cut down some reeds ² , with which we may cover the cottage, while it is fine weather.

DAEMONES

Hold your tongue. Do you tell me (to PLESIDIPPUS) if you have need of anything.

PLESIDIPPUS

Inform me on what I ask you;

whether you have seen here any frizzle-headed fellow, with grey hair, a worthless, perjured, fawning knave.

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DAEMONES

Full many a one; for by reason of fellows of that stamp am I living in misery.

PLESIDIPPUS

Him, I mean, who brought with him to the Temple of Venus here two young women, and who was to make preparations for himself

to perform a sacrifice either to-day or yesterday.

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DAEMONES

By my faith, young man, for these very many days past I haven’t seen any one sacrificing there; and yet it can’t be unknown to me if any one does sacrifice there. They are always asking here for water, or for fire, or for vessels, or for a knife, or for a spit,

or for a pot for cooking ³ , or something or other. What need is there of words? I procured my vessels and my well, for the use of Venus, and not my own. There has now been a cessation of it for these many days past.

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PLESIDIPPUS

According to the words you utter, you tell me I’m undone.

DAEMONES

Really, so far as I’m concerned, I’ faith, you may be safe and sound.

SCEPARNIO

(stopping in his digging.)

Hark you, you that are roaming about Temples for the sake of your stomach, ’twere better for you to order a breakfast to be got ready at home.

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Perhaps you’ve been invited here ⁴ to breakfast. He that invited you, hasn’t he come at all?

PLESIDIPPUS

’Tis the fact.

SCEPARNIO

There’s no risk then in your betaking yourself hence home without your breakfast.

It’s better for you to be a waiter upon Ceres than upon Venus; the latter attends to love, Ceres attends to wheat.

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PLESIDIPPUS

(to DAEMONES.)

This fellow has been making sport of me in a digraceful manner.

DAEMONES

(looking out at the side.)

O ye immortal Gods, Sceparnio, what means those people near the sea-shore?

SCEPARNIO

According to my notion,

they’ve been invited to a parting breakfast ⁵ .

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DAEMONES

How so?

SCEPARNIO

Why, because, after dinner, I fancy, they yesterday washed themselves clean;

their ship has gone to pieces out at sea.

DAEMONES

(looking steadfastly.)

Such is the fact.

SCEPARNIO

But, I’ faith, on dry land our cottage and tiles have done the same.

DAEMONES

Oh dear! what unfortunate creatures you are; (to SCEPARNIO) how the shipwrecked people are swimming.

PLESIDIPPUS

Prithee, where are these people?

DAEMONES

(pointing to the distance.)

This way, to the right; don’t you see them near the shore?

PLESIDIPPUS

(looking the same way.)

I see them; (to his FRIENDS) follow me. I only wish it may be he that I’m seeking, that most accursed fellow. (To DAEMONES and SCEPARNIO.) Fare you well.

SCEPARNIO

If you hadn’t put us in mind, we should have thought of that ourselves.

(Exeunt PLESIDIPPUS and FRIENDS. SCEPARNIO looks out towards the sea.)

But, O Palaemon ⁶ , hallowed associate of Neptune, who art said to be the partner of Hercules, what shocking thing do I see?

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DAEMONES

What do you see?

SCEPARNIO

I see two young women sitting in a boat alone. How the poor things are being tossed about That’s good, that’s good, well done.

The surge is driving the boat away from the rock towards the shore. Not a pilot could have ever done it better. I don’t think that I ever saw billows more huge. They are saved, if they can escape those waves. Now, now’s the danger; it has sent one overboard!

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See you that one whom the waves have thrown out of the boat?

Still, she’s in a shallow place; she’ll easily wade through it now. O capital!

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now she’s safe; she has escaped from the water; she’s now on shore. But that other one has now sprung towards the land from the boat—from her alarm she has fallen into the waves upon her knees.

She has got up again; if she takes this direction, the matter’s safe; (a pause) but she has taken to the right, to utter destruction. Ah, she will be wandering all the day—

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DAEMONES

What signifies that to you?

SCEPARNIO

If she should fall down from that rock towards which she is wending her way,

she’ll be putting a period to her wandering.

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DAEMONES

If you are about to dine this evening at their expense, I think you may then be concerned for them, Sceparnio; if you are going to eat at my house, I wish your services to be devoted to myself.

SCEPARNIO

You ask what’s good and proper.

DAEMONES

Then follow me this way.

SCEPARNIO

I follow ⁷ .

(Exeunt.)