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780
(DAEMONES, LABRAX, PALAESTRA, AMPELISCA, and SERVANTS.)
DAEMONES
(to LABRAX, who is struggling with the SERVANTS.)
Which, you Procurer, had you rather do, be quiet with a thrashing, or e’en as it is, without the thrashing, if you had the choice?
780
Which, you Procurer, had you rather do, be quiet with a thrashing, or e’en as it is, without the thrashing, if you had the choice?
780
LABRAX
Old fellow, I don’t care a straw for what you say. My own women, in fact, I shall drag away this instant from the altar by the hair, in spite of yourself, and Venus, and supreme Jove.
Old fellow, I don’t care a straw for what you say. My own women, in fact, I shall drag away this instant from the altar by the hair, in spite of yourself, and Venus, and supreme Jove.
DAEMONES
Just touch them.
Just touch them.
LABRAX
(going towards them)
I’ troth, I surely will touch them.
785
I’ troth, I surely will touch them.
785
DAEMONES
Just come then; only approach this way.
Just come then; only approach this way.
LABRAX
Only bid both those fellows, then, to move away from there.
Only bid both those fellows, then, to move away from there.
DAEMONES
On the contrary, they shall move towards you.
On the contrary, they shall move towards you.
LABRAX
I’ faith, for my own part, I don’t think so.
I’ faith, for my own part, I don’t think so.
DAEMONES
If they do move nearer to you, what will you do?
If they do move nearer to you, what will you do?
LABRAX
I’ll retire. But, old fellow, if ever I catch you in the city,
never again, upon my faith, shall any one call me a Procurer, if I don’t give you some most disagreable sport.
790
I’ll retire. But, old fellow, if ever I catch you in the city,
never again, upon my faith, shall any one call me a Procurer, if I don’t give you some most disagreable sport.
790
DAEMONES
Do what you threaten. But now, in the meantime, if you do touch them, a heavy punishment shall be inflicted on you.
Do what you threaten. But now, in the meantime, if you do touch them, a heavy punishment shall be inflicted on you.
LABRAX
How heavy, in fact?
How heavy, in fact?
DAEMONES
Just as much as is sufficient for a Procurer.
Just as much as is sufficient for a Procurer.
LABRAX
These threats of yours I don’t value one straw; I certainly shall seize them both this instant without your leave.
795
These threats of yours I don’t value one straw; I certainly shall seize them both this instant without your leave.
795
DAEMONES
Just touch them.
Just touch them.
LABRAX
By my troth, I surely will touch them.
By my troth, I surely will touch them.
DAEMONES
You will touch them, but do you know with what result? Go then, Turbalio, with all haste, and bring hither from out of the house two cudgels.
You will touch them, but do you know with what result? Go then, Turbalio, with all haste, and bring hither from out of the house two cudgels.
LABRAX
Cudgels?
Cudgels?
DAEMONES
Aye, good ones; make haste speedily.
(TURBALIO goes in.)
I’ll let you have a reception this day in proper style, as you are deserving of.
800
Aye, good ones; make haste speedily.
(TURBALIO goes in.)
I’ll let you have a reception this day in proper style, as you are deserving of.
800
LABRAX
(aside.)
Alas! cursedly unfortunate. I lost my headpiece in the ship; it would now have been handy for me, if it had been saved.
(To DAEMONES.) May I at least address these women?
Alas! cursedly unfortunate. I lost my headpiece in the ship; it would now have been handy for me, if it had been saved.
(To DAEMONES.) May I at least address these women?
DAEMONES
You may not
(TURBALIO enters bringing two cudgels.) Well now, by my faith, look, the cudgel-man is coming very opportunely here.
804805
You may not
(TURBALIO enters bringing two cudgels.) Well now, by my faith, look, the cudgel-man is coming very opportunely here.
804805
LABRAX
(aside.)
By my troth, this surely is a tingling for my ears.
By my troth, this surely is a tingling for my ears.
DAEMONES
Come, Sparax, do you take this other cudgel.
(Giving him one.) Come, take your stand, one on one side, the other on one other. Take your stations both of you.
(They stand with lifted cudgels on each side of he altar.) Just so. Now then attend to me:
if, I’ faith, that fellow there should this day touch these women with his finger against their inclination, if you don’t give him a reception
1
with these cudgels even to that degree that he shan’t know which way he is to get home, you are undone, both of you. If he shall call for any one, do you make answer to this fellow in their stead.
810
But if he himself shall attempt to get away from here, that instant, as hard a you can, lay on to his legs with your sticks.
815
Come, Sparax, do you take this other cudgel.
(Giving him one.) Come, take your stand, one on one side, the other on one other. Take your stations both of you.
(They stand with lifted cudgels on each side of he altar.) Just so. Now then attend to me:
if, I’ faith, that fellow there should this day touch these women with his finger against their inclination, if you don’t give him a reception
1
with these cudgels even to that degree that he shan’t know which way he is to get home, you are undone, both of you. If he shall call for any one, do you make answer to this fellow in their stead.
810
But if he himself shall attempt to get away from here, that instant, as hard a you can, lay on to his legs with your sticks.
815
LABRAX
Are they not even to allow me to go away from here?
Are they not even to allow me to go away from here?
DAEMONES
I’ve said sufficient. And when that servant comes here with his master, he that has gone to fetch his master, do you at once go home.
Attend to this with great diligence, will you.
820
(DAEMONES goes into his house.)
I’ve said sufficient. And when that servant comes here with his master, he that has gone to fetch his master, do you at once go home.
Attend to this with great diligence, will you.
820
LABRAX
O rare, by my troth, the Temple here is surely changed all of a sudden; this is now the Temple of Hercules
2
which was that of Venus before; in such fashion has the old fellow planted two statues here with clubs. I’ faith, I don’t know now whither in the world I shall fly from here;
so greatly are they both raging now against me, both land and sea. Palaestra!
825
O rare, by my troth, the Temple here is surely changed all of a sudden; this is now the Temple of Hercules
2
which was that of Venus before; in such fashion has the old fellow planted two statues here with clubs. I’ faith, I don’t know now whither in the world I shall fly from here;
so greatly are they both raging now against me, both land and sea. Palaestra!
825
SERVANT
What do you want?
What do you want?
LABRAX
Away with you, there is a misunderstanding between us; that, indeed, is not my Palaestra
3
that answers. Harkye, Ampelisca.
Away with you, there is a misunderstanding between us; that, indeed, is not my Palaestra
3
that answers. Harkye, Ampelisca.
SERVANT
Beware of a mishap, will you.
Beware of a mishap, will you.
LABRAX
(aside.)
So far as they can, the worthless fellows advise me rightly enough.
(Aloud.) But, harkye, I ask you, whether it is any harm to you for me to come nearer to these women?
830
So far as they can, the worthless fellows advise me rightly enough.
(Aloud.) But, harkye, I ask you, whether it is any harm to you for me to come nearer to these women?
830
SERVANT
Why none at all to ourselves.
Why none at all to ourselves.
LABRAX
Will there be any harm to myself?
Will there be any harm to myself?
SERVANT
None at all, if you only take care.
None at all, if you only take care.
LABRAX
What is it that I’m to take care against?
What is it that I’m to take care against?
SERVANT
Why, look you, against a heavy mishap.
Why, look you, against a heavy mishap.
LABRAX
Troth now, prithee, do let me approach them.
Troth now, prithee, do let me approach them.
SERVANT
Approach them, if you like.
Approach them, if you like.
LABRAX
I’ faith, obligingly done; I return you thanks, I’ll go nearer to them.
835
(Approaches them.)
I’ faith, obligingly done; I return you thanks, I’ll go nearer to them.
835
SERVANT
Do you stand there on the spot, where you are.
(Drags him to his place, with the cudgel over his head.)
Do you stand there on the spot, where you are.
LABRAX
(aside.)
By my faith, I’ve come scurvily off in many ways. Still, I’m resolved to get the better of them this day by constantly besieging them.
By my faith, I’ve come scurvily off in many ways. Still, I’m resolved to get the better of them this day by constantly besieging them.
Rudens. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1913.
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