T. Maccius Plautus Pseudolus 2.2

HARPAX

This is the place, and this the spot, which was pointed out to me by my master, according as I form a judgment from my eyesight. For my master, the Captain, told me to this effect, that the house was the seventh from the gate, in which lives the person to whom he requested me to carry the token and this silver * * * * * I could vastly wish that some one would inform me where this Ballio, the procurer, lives.

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(Looks from side to side.)

PSEUDOLUS

(apart.)

Hist! Silence! This man is mine, unless all Gods and men forsake me. Now have I need of a new plan; this new scheme is suddenly presented to me. This I prefer to my former one; that I shall dismiss, which, before, I had commenced to carry into effect. By my troth, I’ll then work this military messenger that’s just arrived.

600

HARPAX

I’ll knock at the door, and call some one out of doors from within.

(Goes towards the door of BALLIO’S house.)

PSEUDOLUS

(coming up to him.)

Whoever you are, I wish you to spare your knocking; for I’ve just come out of doors, I, the spokesman and the defender of the door.

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HARPAX

Are you Ballio?

PSEUDOLUS

Why, no; but I’m the deputy-Ballio ¹ .

HARPAX

What means that expression?

PSEUDOLUS

I’m his butler-steward ² ; the caterer for his larder.

HARPAX

As though you were to say, you are his chamberlain ³ .

PSEUDOLUS

No; I’m above his chamberlain.

HARPAX

What are you, slave or free man?

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PSEUDOLUS

Why, at present, I’m still a slave.

HARPAX

So you seem to be; and you don’t look to be one worthy to be free.

PSEUDOLUS

Ain’t you in the habit of looking at yourself when you abuse another person?

HARPAX

(aside.)

This must be a roguish fellow.

PSEUDOLUS

(aside.)

The Gods protect and favour me! for this is my anvil: this day will I hammer out thence full many a device.

HARPAX

Why is he talking to himself alone?

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PSEUDOLUS

How say you, young man—?

HARPAX

What is it?

PSEUDOLUS

Are you, or are you not, from that Captain of Macedonia? The servant of him, II mean, who bought a damsel of us here, who gave fifteen silver minae to the procurer, my master, and is still owing five?

HARPAX

I am. But where in the world have you ever known me,

or have ever seen or spoken to me? For in fact, before this day, I never was at Athens, nor did I ever before this day behold you with my eyes * * * * * * * * * *

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PSEUDOLUS

Because you seem likely to be from him; for at the time when he went away, this was the day appointed for the money, on which he was to pay it to us, and he has not brought it as yet.

HARPAX

Yes, here it is.

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(Holding up the bag.)

PSEUDOLUS

What?—have you brought it?

HARPAX

I, myself.

PSEUDOLUS

Do you at all hesitate to give it me?

HARPAX

I, give it you?

PSEUDOLUS

Aye, faith, to me, who manage the business and the accounts of my master Ballio, receive his money, and pay it to him to whom he owes it.

HARPAX

By my troth, if you were even the keeper of the treasures of supreme Jove, I would never entrust a groat of silver to you.

PSEUDOLUS

(pointing.)

While you’ve been making yourself so big,

the money has become loose ⁴ .

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HARPAX

I’ll keep it the rather tied up—this way.

(Ties the mouth of the bag.)

PSEUDOLUS

Woe to you! You indeed have been found to doubt my honor. As though innumerable times as much are not in the habit of being entrusted to me alone.

HARPAX

It’s possible that others may think so, and that I mayn’t trust you.

PSEUDOLUS

As though you meant to say that I wished to chouse you out of the money.

HARPAX

Why, yes; as though you meant to say so; and as though I, on the other hand, meant to suspect it. But what’s your name?

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PSEUDOLUS

(aside.)

This procurer has a servant of the name of Syrus; I’ll say that I am he. I am Syrus.

HARPAX

Syrus?

PSEUDOLUS

That’s my name.

HARPAX

We are making many words. If your master’s at home, why don’t you call him out, that I may transact that for which I was sent here, whatever be your name?

PSEUDOLUS

If he were within I would call him out. But if you choose to give it me, it will be more truly paid than if you were to give it to himself.

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HARPAX

But now do you know how it is? My master has sent me to pay this, not to lose it. But I know, to a certainty, that you are in a fever now, because you cannot lay your claws upon it. I shall entrust the money to no person except to Ballio himself.

PSEUDOLUS

But at present he’s full of business: a cause of his is being tried before the judge.

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HARPAX

May the Gods prosper it! And I, when I shall think that he’s at home, will come again. Do you take this letter from me, and give it him: for in it is the token agreed upon between your master and mine about the damsel.

PSEUDOLUS

For my part, I understand it; the person who should bring the money and the impress of his likeness

hither to us, with him he said he wished the damsel to be sent; for he left a specimen of it here as well.

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HARPAX

You understand the whole affair?

PSEUDOLUS

Why should I not understand it?

HARPAX

Give him this token then.

(Gives the letter and token.)

PSEUDOLUS

Very well. But what’s your name?

HARPAX

Harpax.

PSEUDOLUS

Get along with you, Harpax, I like you not. By my troth, you really shan’t enter this house, lest you should be doing something in the harpy line ⁵ .

HARPAX

I am wont to carry off my enemies alive from the battle-field; from that circumrstance is my name.

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PSEUDOLUS

I’ faith, I think that you are much more likely to carry off the brass pots from a house.

HARPAX

Such is not the fact. But, Syrus, do you know what I request of you?

PSEUDOLUS

I shall know, if you tell me.

HARPAX

I shall put up outside of the gate here, at the third shop, at the house of that tun-bellied, limping, fat old woman, Chrysis.

PSEUDOLUS

What do you wish then?

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HARPAX

That you’ll fetch me thence when your master comes.

PSEUDOLUS

At your pleasure; by all means.

HARPAX

For, as I’ve come wearied off my journey, I wish to refresh myself.

PSEUDOLUS

You are very wise, and your plan is agreable to me. But take care, please, that you are not out of the way when I send for you.

HARPAX

Why, when I’ve dined, I shall indulge myself with a nap.

PSEUDOLUS

I quite agree with you.

HARPAX

Do you wish aught else?

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PSEUDOLUS

That you’ll be off to take your nap.

HARPAX

I’m off.

PSEUDOLUS

And, do you hear, Harpax? Order yourself to be covered up, please; you’ll receive the benefit if you take a good sweat.

(Exit HARPAX.)