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By Scene
133
(Enter BALLIO, with several MALE
1
and FEMALE SLAVES, from his house.)
BALLIO
Get out, come, out with you, you rascals, kept at a loss and bought at a loss, in the minds of not one of whom aught ever comes to do aright,
of whom I can’t make a bit of use, unless I try it after this fashion.
(He flogs the men all round.) At no time did I ever see human beings more like asses; so hardened are your ribs with stripes; when you flog them, you hurt yourself the most. Of such a disposition are these whipping-posts who follow this line of conduct; when the opportunity is given, pilfer, purloin
2
, prig, plunder, drink, eat, and run away’s the word. This
135
is their method, so that you would choose rather to leave wolves among sheep, than these fellows on guard in your house. Yet, when you look at their appearance, they don’t seem amiss; by their doings they deceive you. Now, therefore, unless you all of you give your attention to this charge, unless you remove drowsiness and sloth from your breasts and eyes,
140
I’ll make your sides to be right thoroughly marked with thongs, so much so that not even Campanian coverlets are coloured as well, nor yet Alexandrian tapestry
3
of purple embroidered with beasts all over. Even yesterday I already gave you all notice, and assigned to each his own respective employment; but so utterly worthless are you, so neglectful, of such stubborn dispositions,
145
that you compel me to put you in mind of your duty with a basting. You are so minded I suppose, to get the better of this scourge and myself through the hardness of your hides. Never, i’ faith, will your hides prove harder, than is this cow-hide of mine.
(He dangles it before them.) Do look at that, please; they are minding other matters. Attend to this, and give heed to this.
150
(He flogs one of them.) How now? Does it pain? Ah, that’s the way it’s laid on when any slave slights his master. Stand all of you before me, you race of mortals born to be thrashed; turn your ears this way; give attention all of you to what I say. You fellow who are holding the pitcher, do you fetch the water; do you take care that the cauldron’s full this instant. You, with the axe, I appoint over the wood-cutting department.
155
Get out, come, out with you, you rascals, kept at a loss and bought at a loss, in the minds of not one of whom aught ever comes to do aright,
of whom I can’t make a bit of use, unless I try it after this fashion.
(He flogs the men all round.) At no time did I ever see human beings more like asses; so hardened are your ribs with stripes; when you flog them, you hurt yourself the most. Of such a disposition are these whipping-posts who follow this line of conduct; when the opportunity is given, pilfer, purloin
2
, prig, plunder, drink, eat, and run away’s the word. This
135
is their method, so that you would choose rather to leave wolves among sheep, than these fellows on guard in your house. Yet, when you look at their appearance, they don’t seem amiss; by their doings they deceive you. Now, therefore, unless you all of you give your attention to this charge, unless you remove drowsiness and sloth from your breasts and eyes,
140
I’ll make your sides to be right thoroughly marked with thongs, so much so that not even Campanian coverlets are coloured as well, nor yet Alexandrian tapestry
3
of purple embroidered with beasts all over. Even yesterday I already gave you all notice, and assigned to each his own respective employment; but so utterly worthless are you, so neglectful, of such stubborn dispositions,
145
that you compel me to put you in mind of your duty with a basting. You are so minded I suppose, to get the better of this scourge and myself through the hardness of your hides. Never, i’ faith, will your hides prove harder, than is this cow-hide of mine.
(He dangles it before them.) Do look at that, please; they are minding other matters. Attend to this, and give heed to this.
150
(He flogs one of them.) How now? Does it pain? Ah, that’s the way it’s laid on when any slave slights his master. Stand all of you before me, you race of mortals born to be thrashed; turn your ears this way; give attention all of you to what I say. You fellow who are holding the pitcher, do you fetch the water; do you take care that the cauldron’s full this instant. You, with the axe, I appoint over the wood-cutting department.
155
SLAVES of Ballio.
But this one is blunted on the edge.
But this one is blunted on the edge.
BALLIO
Let it be so, then. And so are you yourselves with stripes;
yet am I for that reason any the less to enjoy your services? My orders I give to you, that the house be made clean. You have what you are to do; make haste, and go in-doors.
(Exit FIRST SLAVE.) Be you the one that makes the couches smooth
4
. Do you wash the plate clean, and arrange it in order as well, Take care that when I return from the Forum, I find things done; that all be swept, sprinkled, scoured, made smooth, cleaned, and arranged in order.
160
For this day is my birthday; it befits you all to celebrate it. Take care to lay the gammon of bacon, the brawn, the collared neck, and the udder, in water; do you hear me? I wish to entertain tip-top men in first-rate style, that they may fancy that I have property. Go you in-doors, and get these things ready quickly, that there may be no delay when the cook comes. I’m going to market, that I may make purchase of whatever fish is there.
165
Boy, go you before me; I must have a care that no one cuts away my purse. Or wait there; there’s something that I had almost forgotten to say at home. Do you hear me, you women? I have this charge for you—you, misses of distinction, who spend your time with illustrious men in refinements, luxury, and delights; now shall I know and make trial this day,
170
which one has regard for her liberty
5
, which for her appetite which thinks on her business, which on sleeping only: this day I’ll make trial which I must think of as a freed-woman, and which as one to be sold. Take you care that many a present from your lovers comes in for me this day; for if your year’s board isn’t picked up for me, to-morrow I’ll turn you adrift on the public. You know that this is my birthday; where are those youths, the apples of whose eyes you are,
175
whose very existence, whose delight you are? Where are your kisses, where your bosoms sweet as honey? Make the bearers of presents to come here then, for my sake, before this house, in whole regiments
6
. Why am I to find clothes for you, gold trinkets, and those things which you need? What have I, you jades, through your means, except vexation, you women, eager for nothing but the wine? You are a-soaking away yourselves and your paunches too, at the very time that I’m here a-dry.
180
Now, therefore, this is the best thing to do; for me to call you each by her name, that no one of you may be declaring to me by-and-by that her business hasn’t been told her. Give attention, all of you. In the first place, Hedylium, my business is with you—you, who are the favorite of the corn-merchants, men who have, all of them, immense mountains of wheat piled up at home;
185
take you care that wheat is brought here for me, to suffice this year to come for myself and all my household, and that I may so abound in corn that the city may change my name for me, and instead of the procurer Ballio proclaim me King lasions
7
.
190
Let it be so, then. And so are you yourselves with stripes;
yet am I for that reason any the less to enjoy your services? My orders I give to you, that the house be made clean. You have what you are to do; make haste, and go in-doors.
(Exit FIRST SLAVE.) Be you the one that makes the couches smooth
4
. Do you wash the plate clean, and arrange it in order as well, Take care that when I return from the Forum, I find things done; that all be swept, sprinkled, scoured, made smooth, cleaned, and arranged in order.
160
For this day is my birthday; it befits you all to celebrate it. Take care to lay the gammon of bacon, the brawn, the collared neck, and the udder, in water; do you hear me? I wish to entertain tip-top men in first-rate style, that they may fancy that I have property. Go you in-doors, and get these things ready quickly, that there may be no delay when the cook comes. I’m going to market, that I may make purchase of whatever fish is there.
165
Boy, go you before me; I must have a care that no one cuts away my purse. Or wait there; there’s something that I had almost forgotten to say at home. Do you hear me, you women? I have this charge for you—you, misses of distinction, who spend your time with illustrious men in refinements, luxury, and delights; now shall I know and make trial this day,
170
which one has regard for her liberty
5
, which for her appetite which thinks on her business, which on sleeping only: this day I’ll make trial which I must think of as a freed-woman, and which as one to be sold. Take you care that many a present from your lovers comes in for me this day; for if your year’s board isn’t picked up for me, to-morrow I’ll turn you adrift on the public. You know that this is my birthday; where are those youths, the apples of whose eyes you are,
175
whose very existence, whose delight you are? Where are your kisses, where your bosoms sweet as honey? Make the bearers of presents to come here then, for my sake, before this house, in whole regiments
6
. Why am I to find clothes for you, gold trinkets, and those things which you need? What have I, you jades, through your means, except vexation, you women, eager for nothing but the wine? You are a-soaking away yourselves and your paunches too, at the very time that I’m here a-dry.
180
Now, therefore, this is the best thing to do; for me to call you each by her name, that no one of you may be declaring to me by-and-by that her business hasn’t been told her. Give attention, all of you. In the first place, Hedylium, my business is with you—you, who are the favorite of the corn-merchants, men who have, all of them, immense mountains of wheat piled up at home;
185
take you care that wheat is brought here for me, to suffice this year to come for myself and all my household, and that I may so abound in corn that the city may change my name for me, and instead of the procurer Ballio proclaim me King lasions
7
.
190
CALIDORUS
(apart.)
Do you hear what the gallows-bird is saying?
Doesn’t he seem a regular boaster to you?
Do you hear what the gallows-bird is saying?
Doesn’t he seem a regular boaster to you?
PSEUDOLUS
(apart.)
I’ troth the fellow does, and a wicked one
8
as well. But hush now, and give attention to this.
195
I’ troth the fellow does, and a wicked one
8
as well. But hush now, and give attention to this.
195
BALLIO
Aeschrodora, you who have for your patrons the butchers, those rivals of the procurers, who, just like ourselves, by false oaths seek their gains, do you listen; unless the three larders shall be crammed for me this day with carcases of ample weight, to-morrow, just as they say that formerly the two sons of Jupiter fastened Dirce
9
to the bull, aye, this day as well, will I tie you up to the larder; that, in fact, shall be your bull.
200
Aeschrodora, you who have for your patrons the butchers, those rivals of the procurers, who, just like ourselves, by false oaths seek their gains, do you listen; unless the three larders shall be crammed for me this day with carcases of ample weight, to-morrow, just as they say that formerly the two sons of Jupiter fastened Dirce
9
to the bull, aye, this day as well, will I tie you up to the larder; that, in fact, shall be your bull.
200
CALIDORUS
(apart.)
I’m quite enraged by the talk of this fellow;
But I am very simple, and very ignorant; they would venture, of course, to do that to those, to whom their passions compel them, to their misfortune, to be subservient, and, at the same time, prevent them from doing that against them which they would rather wish to do.
205
I’m quite enraged by the talk of this fellow;
But I am very simple, and very ignorant; they would venture, of course, to do that to those, to whom their passions compel them, to their misfortune, to be subservient, and, at the same time, prevent them from doing that against them which they would rather wish to do.
205
PSEUDOLUS
(apart.)
Hush!
Hush!
CALIDORUS
(apart.)
What’s the matter?
What’s the matter?
PSEUDOLUS
(apart.)
Pshaw! you are not very obliging. Why are you drowning his talk
11
by your noise?
Pshaw! you are not very obliging. Why are you drowning his talk
11
by your noise?
CALIDORUS
(apart.)
I’ll be silent.
I’ll be silent.
PSEUDOLUS
(apart.)
But I’d much rather you would be silent, than that you should say you will be silent.
But I’d much rather you would be silent, than that you should say you will be silent.
BALLIO
And you,
Xystilis, take you care and give me your attention—you whose fanciers have large quantities of oil at home. If oil shall not be brought me here forthwith in leathern bags, I’ll to-morrow cause yourself to be carried off in a leathern bag to the prostitutes’ shambles
12
.
210
There a bed shall be given you, I warrant, where you can have no rest, but where, even to downright fainting— You understand what’s the tendency of that which I’m saying? Will you tell me, you viper you, you who have so many of your fanciers so right well laden with their oil,
215
is now the head of any one of your fellow-slaves a bit the better anointed by your means, or do I, myself, get my dainty morsels a bit the better seasoned with oil
13
for it? But I understand— you don’t care much about oil; with wine you anoint yourself. Only wait a bit; by my troth I’ll punish you for all at one spell, unless indeed this day you contrive to manage all these things that I’ve been speaking of.
But as for you, Phœnicium, I tell you this, you pet of the mighty men—you who have been for so long a time always paying down to me your money for your liberty—you who only know how to promise, but don’t know how to pay what you have promised; unless this day all your keep is brought me here out of the stores of your customers, to-morrow, Phœnicium, with a true Phœnician hide
14
, you’ll pay a visit to the strumpets’ shambles.
225
(The SLAVES go into the house of BALLIO.)
And you,
Xystilis, take you care and give me your attention—you whose fanciers have large quantities of oil at home. If oil shall not be brought me here forthwith in leathern bags, I’ll to-morrow cause yourself to be carried off in a leathern bag to the prostitutes’ shambles
12
.
210
There a bed shall be given you, I warrant, where you can have no rest, but where, even to downright fainting— You understand what’s the tendency of that which I’m saying? Will you tell me, you viper you, you who have so many of your fanciers so right well laden with their oil,
215
is now the head of any one of your fellow-slaves a bit the better anointed by your means, or do I, myself, get my dainty morsels a bit the better seasoned with oil
13
for it? But I understand— you don’t care much about oil; with wine you anoint yourself. Only wait a bit; by my troth I’ll punish you for all at one spell, unless indeed this day you contrive to manage all these things that I’ve been speaking of.
But as for you, Phœnicium, I tell you this, you pet of the mighty men—you who have been for so long a time always paying down to me your money for your liberty—you who only know how to promise, but don’t know how to pay what you have promised; unless this day all your keep is brought me here out of the stores of your customers, to-morrow, Phœnicium, with a true Phœnician hide
14
, you’ll pay a visit to the strumpets’ shambles.
225
Pseudolus. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1912.
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