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129
(Enter, from his house, AGORASTOCLES, followed by MILPHIO.)
AGORASTOCLES
Full oft have I entrusted many matters to you, Milphio,
matters of doubt
and necessity,
and standing in need of good counsel, which you wisely, discreetly, cleverly, and skilfully have by your aid brought to completion for me. For which services I do confess that
both your liberty and many kind thanks are due unto you.
130
Full oft have I entrusted many matters to you, Milphio,
matters of doubt
and necessity,
and standing in need of good counsel, which you wisely, discreetly, cleverly, and skilfully have by your aid brought to completion for me. For which services I do confess that
both your liberty and many kind thanks are due unto you.
130
MILPHIO
An old adage, if you timely introduce it, is a clever thing: but your compliments are to me what are wont to be called sheer nonsense, and, upon my faith, mere bagatelles
1
. Just now, you are full of kind speeches towards me; yesterday, without hesitation, upon my back you wore out three bulls’ hides
with flogging.
135
An old adage, if you timely introduce it, is a clever thing: but your compliments are to me what are wont to be called sheer nonsense, and, upon my faith, mere bagatelles
1
. Just now, you are full of kind speeches towards me; yesterday, without hesitation, upon my back you wore out three bulls’ hides
with flogging.
135
AGORASTOCLES
But if, being in love, I did anything by reason of my distraction, Milphio, it’s
only reasonable that you should pardon me for it.
140
But if, being in love, I did anything by reason of my distraction, Milphio, it’s
only reasonable that you should pardon me for it.
140
MILPHIO
I’ve seen nothing more
reasonable. I, too, am now dying for love; allow me to thrash you just as you did me, for no fault
at all; and then, after that, do you pardon me being
thus in love.
I’ve seen nothing more
reasonable. I, too, am now dying for love; allow me to thrash you just as you did me, for no fault
at all; and then, after that, do you pardon me being
thus in love.
AGORASTOCLES
If you have a mind for it, or it gives you pleasure, I do permit it; tie me up, bind me, scourge me; I recommend you, I give you my permission.
145
If you have a mind for it, or it gives you pleasure, I do permit it; tie me up, bind me, scourge me; I recommend you, I give you my permission.
145
MILPHIO
If, hereafter, you should revoke your permission, when you are unloosed, I myself should be hung up
2
for punishment.
If, hereafter, you should revoke your permission, when you are unloosed, I myself should be hung up
2
for punishment.
AGORASTOCLES
And would I venture to do that, to yourself espercially?
On the contrary, if I see you but struck, it gives me pain immediately.
150
And would I venture to do that, to yourself espercially?
On the contrary, if I see you but struck, it gives me pain immediately.
150
MILPHIO
To me, indeed, i’ faith.
To me, indeed, i’ faith.
AGORASTOCLES
No, to me.
No, to me.
MILPHIO
I could prefer that
to be the case. But what now do you wish?
I could prefer that
to be the case. But what now do you wish?
AGORASTOCLES
Why need I tell a lie to you? I am desperately in love.
Why need I tell a lie to you? I am desperately in love.
MILPHIO
My shoulder-blades feel that.
My shoulder-blades feel that.
AGORASTOCLES
But I mean with this damsel, my neighbour Adelphasium,
the elder Courtesan that belongs to this Procurer.
155
But I mean with this damsel, my neighbour Adelphasium,
the elder Courtesan that belongs to this Procurer.
155
MILPHIO
For my own part, I’ve heard that from yourself already.
For my own part, I’ve heard that from yourself already.
AGORASTOCLES
I’m on the rack with love for her. But than this Procurer Lycus, her master, not dirt
itself is more dirty.
I’m on the rack with love for her. But than this Procurer Lycus, her master, not dirt
itself is more dirty.
MILPHIO
Do you wish now to present him with some mischief?
Do you wish now to present him with some mischief?
AGORASTOCLES
I should like it.
I should like it.
MILPHIO
Why look
then, present him with me.
Why look
then, present him with me.
AGORASTOCLES
Go and be hanged!
160
Go and be hanged!
160
MILPHIO
But tell me seriously, do you wish to present him with a plague?
But tell me seriously, do you wish to present him with a plague?
AGORASTOCLES
I should like it.
I should like it.
MILPHIO
Well then, present him with this selfsame me; I’d cause him to be having both a mischief and a plague.
Well then, present him with this selfsame me; I’d cause him to be having both a mischief and a plague.
AGORASTOCLES
You are joking.
You are joking.
MILPHIO
Should you like this very day, without risk to yourself, to make her free
3
?
Should you like this very day, without risk to yourself, to make her free
3
?
AGORASTOCLES
I should like it, Milphio.
I should like it, Milphio.
MILPHIO
I’ll manage for you to make her so. You have indoors three hundred golden Philippean pieces
4
.
165
I’ll manage for you to make her so. You have indoors three hundred golden Philippean pieces
4
.
165
AGORASTOCLES
Six hundred even.
Six hundred even.
MILPHIO
Three hundred are enough.
Three hundred are enough.
AGORASTOCLES
To do what
with them?
To do what
with them?
MILPHIO
Hold your peace. This day I’ll make you a present of the Procurer, whole, with all his household.
Hold your peace. This day I’ll make you a present of the Procurer, whole, with all his household.
AGORASTOCLES
What to do?
What to do?
MILPHIO
You shall soon know.
Collybiscus, your bailiff, is in the city just now. The Procurer doesn’t know him. Do you fully understand?
170
You shall soon know.
Collybiscus, your bailiff, is in the city just now. The Procurer doesn’t know him. Do you fully understand?
170
AGORASTOCLES
I’ faith, I understand
that; but what you are driving at I know not.
I’ faith, I understand
that; but what you are driving at I know not.
MILPHIO
You don’t know?
You don’t know?
AGORASTOCLES
Not
I, faith.
Not
I, faith.
MILPHIO
But I’ll soon let you know. The gold shall be given him, for him to take to the Procurer,
and say that he’s a stranger from another city; that he’s amorously inclined, and wishes to gratify his inclinations; that he wants free range to be found him, where he may secretly indulge his appetite, so that there may be no overlooker. The Procurer, greedy for the gold, will at once take him into his house;
175
he’ll conceal the man and the gold.
180
But I’ll soon let you know. The gold shall be given him, for him to take to the Procurer,
and say that he’s a stranger from another city; that he’s amorously inclined, and wishes to gratify his inclinations; that he wants free range to be found him, where he may secretly indulge his appetite, so that there may be no overlooker. The Procurer, greedy for the gold, will at once take him into his house;
175
he’ll conceal the man and the gold.
180
AGORASTOCLES
The design pleases me.
The design pleases me.
MILPHIO
Do you
then enquire of him whether your slave hasn’t come to him. He’ll think that I am being sought for; immediately he’ll say no to you. Have you any doubt but that the Procurer will at once have to double the gold for you, and be
considered to have stolen the man?
Neither has he the means of raising it. When he comes to trial, the Praetor will award
5
his whole household to you. Thus with a pitfall shall we deceive the Procurer Lycus.
185
Do you
then enquire of him whether your slave hasn’t come to him. He’ll think that I am being sought for; immediately he’ll say no to you. Have you any doubt but that the Procurer will at once have to double the gold for you, and be
considered to have stolen the man?
Neither has he the means of raising it. When he comes to trial, the Praetor will award
5
his whole household to you. Thus with a pitfall shall we deceive the Procurer Lycus.
185
AGORASTOCLES
The design pleases me.
The design pleases me.
MILPHIO
Aye, when I’ve polished it up, you’ll then say so still more even; now it’s but in the rough.
Aye, when I’ve polished it up, you’ll then say so still more even; now it’s but in the rough.
AGORASTOCLES
I’m going to the Temple of Venus, unless, Milphio, you wish for anything. It’s the Aphrodisia
6
to-day.
190
I’m going to the Temple of Venus, unless, Milphio, you wish for anything. It’s the Aphrodisia
6
to-day.
190
MILPHIO
I know.
I know.
AGORASTOCLES
I wish to amuse my eyes with the harlot finery.
I wish to amuse my eyes with the harlot finery.
MILPHIO
Let’s first proceed to this, the plan we have resolved upon. Let’s go in-doors, that we may instruct Collybiscus, the bailiff,
how to plant this cheatery.
195
Let’s first proceed to this, the plan we have resolved upon. Let’s go in-doors, that we may instruct Collybiscus, the bailiff,
how to plant this cheatery.
195
AGORASTOCLES
Although Cupid has the sway in my heart, still I’ll listen to you.
Although Cupid has the sway in my heart, still I’ll listen to you.
MILPHIO
I’ll cause you to be glad it’s done.
(AGORASTOCLES goes into his house.) There is a speck of love upon this man’s breast, which cannot by any means be washed out without great harm;
this Lycus, too, the Procurer, is such a wicked person, against whom the engine of mischief is now well aimed, which before long I shall discharge from my battery
7
. But see, here’s Adelphasium coming out, and Anterastylis. The first is the one who renders my master distracted.
200
But I’ll call him out.
(Goes to the door and calls.) Hallo! Agorastocles, come out of doors if you would see most joyous sports!
205
(in haste, from the house.)
I’ll cause you to be glad it’s done.
(AGORASTOCLES goes into his house.) There is a speck of love upon this man’s breast, which cannot by any means be washed out without great harm;
this Lycus, too, the Procurer, is such a wicked person, against whom the engine of mischief is now well aimed, which before long I shall discharge from my battery
7
. But see, here’s Adelphasium coming out, and Anterastylis. The first is the one who renders my master distracted.
200
But I’ll call him out.
(Goes to the door and calls.) Hallo! Agorastocles, come out of doors if you would see most joyous sports!
205
AGORASTOCLES
What’s this bustle, Milphio?
What’s this bustle, Milphio?
MILPHIO
(pointing to the door of LYCUS’S
house .)
Why, here’s your mistress, if you’d like to see her.
Why, here’s your mistress, if you’d like to see her.
AGORASTOCLES
O may the Gods bestow many a blessing on you, for having presented to me a sight so charming as this!
(They stand apart.)
O may the Gods bestow many a blessing on you, for having presented to me a sight so charming as this!
Poenulus. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1913.
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