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183
(Enter, from the house, TOXILUS and PAEGNIUM.)
TOXILUS
Are these things quite clear and certain to you—do you quite remember and understand them?
Are these things quite clear and certain to you—do you quite remember and understand them?
PAEGNIUM
Better than you who have instructed me.
Better than you who have instructed me.
TOXILUS
Say you so, you whip-rascal?
Say you so, you whip-rascal?
PAEGNIUM
I really do say so.
185
I really do say so.
185
TOXILUS
What did I say then P
What did I say then P
PAEGNIUM
I’ll tell it to her all correctly.
I’ll tell it to her all correctly.
TOXILUS
I’ faith, you don’t know it.
I’ faith, you don’t know it.
PAEGNIUM
Troth now, lay me a wager that I don’t remember and know it all.
Troth now, lay me a wager that I don’t remember and know it all.
TOXILUS
Why, for my part, I’ll lay a wager with you on this, whether you know your own self, how many fingers you have this day upon your hand.
Why, for my part, I’ll lay a wager with you on this, whether you know your own self, how many fingers you have this day upon your hand.
PAEGNIUM
Without hesitation—if you are desirous to lose.
Without hesitation—if you are desirous to lose.
TOXILUS
A fair truce rather let there be.
A fair truce rather let there be.
PAEGNIUM
For that reason, then, do you let me go.
For that reason, then, do you let me go.
TOXILUS
I both bid and permit you.
But I wish you so to attend to it, that you are back home while I’m thinking that you are there.
190
I both bid and permit you.
But I wish you so to attend to it, that you are back home while I’m thinking that you are there.
190
PAEGNIUM
I’ll do so.
(Moves towards their own house.)
I’ll do so.
TOXILUS
Whither are you now going?
Whither are you now going?
PAEGNIUM
Home; that I may be at home while you are thinking that I am there.
Home; that I may be at home while you are thinking that I am there.
TOXILUS
You are a rascal of a boy, and—for this service I’ll give you something to add
1
to your savings.
You are a rascal of a boy, and—for this service I’ll give you something to add
1
to your savings.
PAEGNIUM
I’m aware how want of shame is wont to be imputed to a master’s word, and that masters cannot ever be compelled to appear before the judge on account of those promises.
I’m aware how want of shame is wont to be imputed to a master’s word, and that masters cannot ever be compelled to appear before the judge on account of those promises.
TOXILUS
Be off now.
195
Be off now.
195
PAEGNIUM
I’ll give you reason to command me.
I’ll give you reason to command me.
TOXILUS
But, Paegnium, take you care and give that letter to Lemniselene herself, and tell her what I bade you.
But, Paegnium, take you care and give that letter to Lemniselene herself, and tell her what I bade you.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
(apart.)
Do I delay to go whither I was sent?
Do I delay to go whither I was sent?
PAEGNIUM
I’m off.
I’m off.
TOXILUS
Then do be off; I’ll off home. Take care and manage this business with attention. Fly post haste.
(Goes into the house.)
Then do be off; I’ll off home. Take care and manage this business with attention. Fly post haste.
PAEGNIUM
That’s what the ostrich
2
is wont to do in the Circus.
He’s off from here in-doors there. But who’s this woman that’s coming towards me?
200
That’s what the ostrich
2
is wont to do in the Circus.
He’s off from here in-doors there. But who’s this woman that’s coming towards me?
200
SOPHOCLIDISCA
(advancing.)
Surely this is Paegnium.
Surely this is Paegnium.
PAEGNIUM
This is Sophoclidisca, the private servant of her to whom I’m sent.
This is Sophoclidisca, the private servant of her to whom I’m sent.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
(aside.)
There’s not a person this day that’s reported to be more artful than this boy. I’ll accost him.
There’s not a person this day that’s reported to be more artful than this boy. I’ll accost him.
PAEGNIUM
At this bar
3
I must come to a stop.
At this bar
3
I must come to a stop.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Paegnium, my charmer of a boy, save you; how are you? How do you do?
Paegnium, my charmer of a boy, save you; how are you? How do you do?
PAEGNIUM
Sophoclidisca, the Gods will favour me.
205
Sophoclidisca, the Gods will favour me.
205
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Why
me? Which of us?
Why
me? Which of us?
PAEGNIUM
I’ faith, I don’t know. But if they were to do as you deserve, by my troth they’d hold you in hate, and treat you but badly.
I’ faith, I don’t know. But if they were to do as you deserve, by my troth they’d hold you in hate, and treat you but badly.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Do leave off your abusive talking.
Do leave off your abusive talking.
PAEGNIUM
Since I’m saying just as you I’m talking to deserve, properly, not abusively.
Since I’m saying just as you I’m talking to deserve, properly, not abusively.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
What are you about now?
What are you about now?
PAEGNIUM
Standing opposite to you, looking at a worthless woman.
Standing opposite to you, looking at a worthless woman.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
For my own part, assuredly, I do not know any more good-for-nothing boy than yourself.
For my own part, assuredly, I do not know any more good-for-nothing boy than yourself.
PAEGNIUM
What mischief do I do, or to what person do I speak abusively?
210
What mischief do I do, or to what person do I speak abusively?
210
SOPHOCLIDISCA
I’ faith, to every one that you have the opportunity.
I’ faith, to every one that you have the opportunity.
PAEGNIUM
Not an individual has ever thought so.
Not an individual has ever thought so.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
But, i’ faith, full many a one knows that so it is.
But, i’ faith, full many a one knows that so it is.
PAEGNIUM
Heyday, indeed!
Heyday, indeed!
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Heyday, indeed!
Heyday, indeed!
PAEGNIUM
According to your own disposition you judge of the ways of others.
According to your own disposition you judge of the ways of others.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
I certainly do confess that I’m just as befits one of a Procurer’s household to be.
I certainly do confess that I’m just as befits one of a Procurer’s household to be.
PAEGNIUM
I’ve now had enough of your chattering.
I’ve now had enough of your chattering.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
What say you? Do you plead guilty to what I take you to be?
What say you? Do you plead guilty to what I take you to be?
PAEGNIUM
If I were so, I should confess it.
215
If I were so, I should confess it.
215
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Be off then; you’ve got the victory.
Be off then; you’ve got the victory.
PAEGNIUM
Now then be off with you.
Now then be off with you.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Do you then tell me this—whither are you going?
Do you then tell me this—whither are you going?
PAEGNIUM
Whither are you?
Whither are you?
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Say you.
Say you.
PAEGNIUM
Say you.
Say you.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
I was the first to ask.
I was the first to ask.
PAEGNIUM
Then you shall be the last to know.
Then you shall be the last to know.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
I’m going not far hence.
I’m going not far hence.
PAEGNIUM
And I, indeed, not far.
And I, indeed, not far.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Whither then, you rascal?
Whither then, you rascal?
PAEGNIUM
Unless I know first of you, you shall never know this of me that you are enquiring.
Unless I know first of you, you shall never know this of me that you are enquiring.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
On my honor you shall never this day know before I’ve heard it of you.
On my honor you shall never this day know before I’ve heard it of you.
PAEGNIUM
Is such the fact?
220
Is such the fact?
220
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Is such the fact?
Is such the fact?
PAEGNIUM
You are a worthless one.
You are a worthless one.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Rogue.
Rogue.
PAEGNIUM
That befits me.
That befits me.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Me then it does not befit.
Me then it does not befit.
PAEGNIUM
What do you say? Are you quite determined, you hussy, to conceal whither you are going?
What do you say? Are you quite determined, you hussy, to conceal whither you are going?
SOPHOCLIDISCA
And are you quite resolved to hide whither you are betaking yourself, you scoundrel?
And are you quite resolved to hide whither you are betaking yourself, you scoundrel?
PAEGNIUM
You are giving answer to what I say like for like; be off with you then, since such is your determination. I don’t care at all to know. Good-bye.
(Moving.)
You are giving answer to what I say like for like; be off with you then, since such is your determination. I don’t care at all to know. Good-bye.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Stop!
Stop!
PAEGNIUM
But I’m in a hurry.
But I’m in a hurry.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
And, i’ faith, I as well.
And, i’ faith, I as well.
PAEGNIUM
Have you got anything?
225
(Pointing to her hand.)
Have you got anything?
225
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Have you anything?
(Pointing likewise.)
Have you anything?
PAEGNIUM
Really nothing whatever.
Really nothing whatever.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Show me your hand then.
Show me your hand then.
PAEGNIUM
(showing his right hand.)
Is this the hand?
Is this the hand?
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Where is that other, the pilfering left hand?
Where is that other, the pilfering left hand?
PAEGNIUM
(hiding his left hand.)
Why, it is at home, d’ye see; I’ve not brought one hither.
Why, it is at home, d’ye see; I’ve not brought one hither.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
(trying to seize his hand.)
You’ve got something, what it is I know not.
You’ve got something, what it is I know not.
PAEGNIUM
(pushing her away.)
Don’t be mauling me about you she-groper.
Don’t be mauling me about you she-groper.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
But suppose I’m in love with you.
But suppose I’m in love with you.
PAEGNIUM
You employ your pains to no purpose.
You employ your pains to no purpose.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Why so?
Why so?
PAEGNIUM
Why, because you are in love with nothing at all, when you are in love with one who doesn’t return it.
Why, because you are in love with nothing at all, when you are in love with one who doesn’t return it.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
It befits these youthful looks and age to be on the watch for pleasure in good time;
so that, when your hair comes to change its hue, you may not be always in a grovelling servitude. Why, really, as yet you are not eighty pounds in weight.
230
It befits these youthful looks and age to be on the watch for pleasure in good time;
so that, when your hair comes to change its hue, you may not be always in a grovelling servitude. Why, really, as yet you are not eighty pounds in weight.
230
PAEGNIUM
Still, that warfare is waged much more successfully by spirit than by weight. But I’m losing my pains.
Still, that warfare is waged much more successfully by spirit than by weight. But I’m losing my pains.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Why so?
Why so?
PAEGNIUM
Because I’m teaching those who know it all. But I’m loitering here.
(Moves.)
Because I’m teaching those who know it all. But I’m loitering here.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
(taking hold of him.)
Do stop.
Do stop.
PAEGNIUM
You are annoying to me.
You are annoying to me.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
And so I shall be then, if I don’t find out whither you are betaking yourself.
And so I shall be then, if I don’t find out whither you are betaking yourself.
PAEGNIUM
To your house.
To your house.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
And I to your house, i’ faith.
And I to your house, i’ faith.
PAEGNIUM
Why thither?
Why thither?
SOPHOCLIDISCA
What’s that to you?
What’s that to you?
PAEGNIUM
(standing before her.)
Why, you shan’t go now, unless, in return, I know.
Why, you shan’t go now, unless, in return, I know.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
You are teazing.
You are teazing.
PAEGNIUM
I choose to.
I choose to.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Never, upon my faith, shall you wring this out of me, so as to prove yourself more artful than I am.
Never, upon my faith, shall you wring this out of me, so as to prove yourself more artful than I am.
PAEGNIUM
It’s a misery to contend with you in artfulness.
It’s a misery to contend with you in artfulness.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
You are a mischievous baggage.
You are a mischievous baggage.
PAEGNIUM
What is there for you to fear?
What is there for you to fear?
SOPHOCLIDISCA
The very same that there is for you.
The very same that there is for you.
PAEGNIUM
Say then, what is it?
Say then, what is it?
SOPHOCLIDISCA
But I’m forbidden to tell this to any person, and am instructed that all the dumb people are to speak of it before myself.
240
But I’m forbidden to tell this to any person, and am instructed that all the dumb people are to speak of it before myself.
240
PAEGNIUM
And most especially was I cautioned not to trust this to any person, so that all the dumb people were to mention this before myself.
And most especially was I cautioned not to trust this to any person, so that all the dumb people were to mention this before myself.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Still, do you do so; on giving our words, let’s trust each other.
Still, do you do so; on giving our words, let’s trust each other.
PAEGNIUM
I know this—all procuresses are light of faith, and the weight of a water-gnat
4
is not more light than is the word of a procurer.
I know this—all procuresses are light of faith, and the weight of a water-gnat
4
is not more light than is the word of a procurer.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Tell me, there’s a dear.
245
Tell me, there’s a dear.
245
PAEGNIUM
Tell me, there’s a dear.
Tell me, there’s a dear.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
I don’t want to be your dear.
I don’t want to be your dear.
PAEGNIUM
You’ll easily prevail upon me in that.
You’ll easily prevail upon me in that.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Keep it yourself.
Keep it yourself.
PAEGNIUM
And you be mum about this.
(Showing her a letter.)
And you be mum about this.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
It shall be kept a secret.
It shall be kept a secret.
PAEGNIUM
It shall not be known.
(She shows him a letter.)
It shall not be known.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
I’m carrying this letter to Toxilus, your master.
I’m carrying this letter to Toxilus, your master.
PAEGNIUM
Be off; he’s there at home. And I am carrying this pinewood tablet sealed, to Lemniselene, your mistress.
Be off; he’s there at home. And I am carrying this pinewood tablet sealed, to Lemniselene, your mistress.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
What’s written there.
What’s written there.
PAEGNIUM
If you don’t know, pretty much like yourself, I don’t know,
except soft words, perhaps.
250
If you don’t know, pretty much like yourself, I don’t know,
except soft words, perhaps.
250
SOPHOCLIDISCA
I’m off.
I’m off.
PAEGNIUM
And I’ll be off.
And I’ll be off.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
Move on then.
(They go into the respective houses.)
Move on then.
Persa. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1913.
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