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933
(THEUROPIDES, PHANISCUS, and another SERVANT.)
PHANISCUS
(coming forward.)
Really, I don’t hear either the sound of revellers here, as once it was, nor yet the music-girl singing, nor any one else.
(Goes towards the door.)
Really, I don’t hear either the sound of revellers here, as once it was, nor yet the music-girl singing, nor any one else.
THEUROPIDES
What’s the matter here? What are these people seeking at my house? What do they want? What are they peeping in for?
935
What’s the matter here? What are these people seeking at my house? What do they want? What are they peeping in for?
935
PHANISCUS
I shall proceed to knock at the door.
(Knocks.) Hallo there, unlock the door! Hallo, Tranio! are you going to open it, I say?
I shall proceed to knock at the door.
(Knocks.) Hallo there, unlock the door! Hallo, Tranio! are you going to open it, I say?
THEUROPIDES
(advancing.)
What story’s this, I wonder?
What story’s this, I wonder?
PHANISCUS
(aloud.)
Are you going to open it, I say? I’ve come to fetch my master Callidamates.
Are you going to open it, I say? I’ve come to fetch my master Callidamates.
THEUROPIDES
Harkye, you lads! what are you doing there? Why are you breaking down that door?
Harkye, you lads! what are you doing there? Why are you breaking down that door?
PHANISCUS
Our master’s at a drinking-party here.
Our master’s at a drinking-party here.
THEUROPIDES
Your master at a drinking-party here?
Your master at a drinking-party here?
PHANISCUS
I say so.
I say so.
THEUROPIDES
You’re carrying the joke too far, my lad.
You’re carrying the joke too far, my lad.
PHANISCUS
We’ve come to fetch him.
We’ve come to fetch him.
THEUROPIDES
What person?
What person?
PHANISCUS
Our master. Prithee, how often must I tell you?
Our master. Prithee, how often must I tell you?
THEUROPIDES
There’s no one living here my lad; for I do think that you are a decent lad.
There’s no one living here my lad; for I do think that you are a decent lad.
PHANISCUS
Doesn’t a young gentleman called Philolaches live in this house?
950
Doesn’t a young gentleman called Philolaches live in this house?
950
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates
(aside.)
This old fellow’s crack-brained, surely.
This old fellow’s crack-brained, surely.
PHANISCUS
You are entirely mistaken, respected sir
1
; for unless he moved from here to-day or yesterday, I know for certain that he’s living here.
You are entirely mistaken, respected sir
1
; for unless he moved from here to-day or yesterday, I know for certain that he’s living here.
THEUROPIDES
Why, no one has been living here for these six months past.
Why, no one has been living here for these six months past.
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates
You are dreaming.
You are dreaming.
THEUROPIDES
What, I?
955
What, I?
955
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates
You.
You.
THEUROPIDES
Don’t you be impertinent. Let me speak to the lad.
(Pointing to PHANISCUS.)
Don’t you be impertinent. Let me speak to the lad.
(Pointing to PHANISCUS.)
PHANISCUS
No one lives there? O dear—
No one lives there? O dear—
THEUROPIDES
It’s the fact.
It’s the fact.
PHANISCUS
Really! why, yesterday and the day before,
2
four, five, six days ago, all along, in fact, since his father went abroad from here, eating and drinking have never ceased for a single three days here.
Really! why, yesterday and the day before,
2
four, five, six days ago, all along, in fact, since his father went abroad from here, eating and drinking have never ceased for a single three days here.
THEUROPIDES
What is it you say?
What is it you say?
PHANISCUS
That eating and drinking have never stopped for a single three days here,
bringing in wenches, living like Greeks, hiring harpists and music-girls.
960
That eating and drinking have never stopped for a single three days here,
bringing in wenches, living like Greeks, hiring harpists and music-girls.
960
THEUROPIDES
Who was it did this?
Who was it did this?
PHANISCUS
Philolaches.
Philolaches.
THEUROPIDES
What Philolaches?
What Philolaches?
PHANISCUS
He whose father I take to be Theuropides.
He whose father I take to be Theuropides.
THEUROPIDES
(apart.)
O dear, O dear! I’m utterly undone, if he says the truth in this. I’ll continue to question him still Do you say that this Philolaches, whoever he is, has been in the habit of drinking here together
with your master?
965
O dear, O dear! I’m utterly undone, if he says the truth in this. I’ll continue to question him still Do you say that this Philolaches, whoever he is, has been in the habit of drinking here together
with your master?
965
PHANISCUS
Here, I tell you.
Here, I tell you.
THEUROPIDES
My lad, contrary to your appearance, you are a fool. See now, please, that you’ve not perchance been dropping in somewhere for an afternoon’s whet
3
, and have been drinking there a little more than was enough.
My lad, contrary to your appearance, you are a fool. See now, please, that you’ve not perchance been dropping in somewhere for an afternoon’s whet
3
, and have been drinking there a little more than was enough.
PHANISCUS
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
THEUROPIDES
Just what I say: don’t be going by mistake to other persons’ houses.
Just what I say: don’t be going by mistake to other persons’ houses.
PHANISCUS
I know where I ought to go, and the place to which I was to come.
Philolaches lives here, whose father is Theuropides; and who, after his father went away to trade, made free a music-girl here.
970
I know where I ought to go, and the place to which I was to come.
Philolaches lives here, whose father is Theuropides; and who, after his father went away to trade, made free a music-girl here.
970
THEUROPIDES
Philolaches, say you?
Philolaches, say you?
PHANISCUS
Just so; Philematium, I mean.
Just so; Philematium, I mean.
THEUROPIDES
For how much?
For how much?
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates
For thirty talents.
For thirty talents.
PHANISCUS
No, by Apollo
4
; you mean minae.
No, by Apollo
4
; you mean minae.
THEUROPIDES
Do you say that a mistress was purchased for Philolaches for thirty minae?
Do you say that a mistress was purchased for Philolaches for thirty minae?
PHANISCUS
I do say so.
975
I do say so.
975
THEUROPIDES
And that he gave her her freedom?
And that he gave her her freedom?
PHANISCUS
I do say so.
I do say so.
THEUROPIDES
And that after his father had departed hence abroad, he has been carousing here continually with your master?
And that after his father had departed hence abroad, he has been carousing here continually with your master?
PHANISCUS
I do say so.
I do say so.
THEUROPIDES
Well, has he made purchase of the house next door here?
Well, has he made purchase of the house next door here?
PHANISCUS
I don’t say so.
I don’t say so.
THEUROPIDES
Has he given forty minae, too, to this person, to be as a deposit?
Has he given forty minae, too, to this person, to be as a deposit?
PHANISCUS
Nor yet do I say so.
Nor yet do I say so.
THEUROPIDES
Ah me! you’ve proved my ruin!
Ah me! you’ve proved my ruin!
PHANISCUS
Aye, and he has proved the ruin of his father.
Aye, and he has proved the ruin of his father.
THEUROPIDES
You prophesy the truth! I could wish it false!
980
You prophesy the truth! I could wish it false!
980
PHANISCUS
A friend of his father, I suppose?
A friend of his father, I suppose?
THEUROPIDES
Ah me! Upon my faith, you do pronounce him to be a wretched father.
Ah me! Upon my faith, you do pronounce him to be a wretched father.
PHANISCUS
Why really, this is nothing at all—thirty minae, in comparison with the other expenses he has incurred in good living.
He has ruined his father.
There’s one servant there a very great scoundrel, Tranio by name; he could even waste the revenue of a Hercules
5
.
On my word, I’m sadly distrest for his father; for when he comes to know that things have gone on thus, a hot coal will be scorching his breast, poor man.
985
Why really, this is nothing at all—thirty minae, in comparison with the other expenses he has incurred in good living.
He has ruined his father.
There’s one servant there a very great scoundrel, Tranio by name; he could even waste the revenue of a Hercules
5
.
On my word, I’m sadly distrest for his father; for when he comes to know that things have gone on thus, a hot coal will be scorching his breast, poor man.
985
THEUROPIDES
If, indeed, this is the truth.
If, indeed, this is the truth.
PHANISCUS
What am I to gain, that I should tell a lie?
(Knocks again at the door.) Hallo, you! is any one coming to open this door?
What am I to gain, that I should tell a lie?
(Knocks again at the door.) Hallo, you! is any one coming to open this door?
ANOTHER SERVANT of Callidamates
Why do you knock in this way, when there’s no one in the house?
Why do you knock in this way, when there’s no one in the house?
PHANISCUS
I fancy that he’s gone elsewhere to carouse. Now then, let’s begone.
(They move as if going.)
I fancy that he’s gone elsewhere to carouse. Now then, let’s begone.
THEUROPIDES
What, my lad, are you off then?
Liberty’s the overcoat for your back
6
.
What, my lad, are you off then?
Liberty’s the overcoat for your back
6
.
PHANISCUS
Nothing have I with which to cover my back, except to pay respect and service to my master.
(Exeunt PHANISCUS and SERVANT.)
Nothing have I with which to cover my back, except to pay respect and service to my master.
Mostellaria. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1913.
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