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354
(Enter PALAESTRIO and PHILOCOMASIUM from the CAPTAIN’s house.)
PALAESTRIO
(speaking to her in a low voice as he enters)
Be sure to remember my instructions.
Be sure to remember my instructions.
PHILOCOMASIUM
(aside)
It’s strange you should so often remind me.
It’s strange you should so often remind me.
PALAESTRIO
(aside)
But I fear you may not prove cunning enough.
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But I fear you may not prove cunning enough.
355
PHILOCOMASIUM
(aside)
Give me even ten scholars, though far from artful, I could instruct them so as to prove artful; in me alone is there a superabundance of artfulness;
come, then, now put your plans in force; I’ll step aside here.
(Steps aside.)
Give me even ten scholars, though far from artful, I could instruct them so as to prove artful; in me alone is there a superabundance of artfulness;
come, then, now put your plans in force; I’ll step aside here.
PALAESTRIO
What have you to say, Scledrus?
What have you to say, Scledrus?
SCELEDRUS
(not lifting up his eyes)
I’m about this business of mine; I have got ears, say what you please.
I’m about this business of mine; I have got ears, say what you please.
PALAESTRIO
I think that in that self-same position
1
you will have to die outside the gates,
when, with hands outstretched, you will be carrying your cross.
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I think that in that self-same position
1
you will have to die outside the gates,
when, with hands outstretched, you will be carrying your cross.
360
SCELEDRUS
For what reason so?
For what reason so?
PALAESTRIO
Just look on your left hand; who is that lady?
Just look on your left hand; who is that lady?
SCELEDRUS
(looking.)
O ye immortal Gods, it really is the lady of my master!
O ye immortal Gods, it really is the lady of my master!
PALAESTRIO
I’ faith, so she seems to me as well. Do then, now, since so you would have it—
I’ faith, so she seems to me as well. Do then, now, since so you would have it—
SCELEDRUS
Do what?
Do what?
PALAESTRIO
Die this very instant.
Die this very instant.
PHILOCOMASIUM
(advancing.)
Where is this faithful servant, who has falsely accused me in my innocence
of this most heinous crime?
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Where is this faithful servant, who has falsely accused me in my innocence
of this most heinous crime?
365
PALAESTRIO
See, here he is; ’tis he that told it me,—assuredly ’twas he.
See, here he is; ’tis he that told it me,—assuredly ’twas he.
PHILOCOMASIUM
Villain, did you say that you had seen me next door here kissing?
Villain, did you say that you had seen me next door here kissing?
PALAESTRIO
Besides, he said it was with some strange young man.
Besides, he said it was with some strange young man.
SCELEDRUS
I’ faith, I did. say so, undoubtedly.
I’ faith, I did. say so, undoubtedly.
PHILOCOMASIUM
You, saw me?
You, saw me?
SCELEDRUS
Yes, with these self-same eyes.
Yes, with these self-same eyes.
PHILOCOMASIUM
I fancy you will lose those eyes, which see more than what they really do see.
I fancy you will lose those eyes, which see more than what they really do see.
SCELEDRUS
By my faith, I shall never be intimidated
from having seen what I really did see.
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By my faith, I shall never be intimidated
from having seen what I really did see.
370
PHILOCOMASIUM
In my foolishness I am delaying too long in parleying with this madman, whom, by the powers, I’ll punish with death.
In my foolishness I am delaying too long in parleying with this madman, whom, by the powers, I’ll punish with death.
SCELEDRUS
Forbear to threaten me: I know that the cross will prove my tomb; there are laid my forefathers, my father, grandfather, great-grandfather, great-great-grandfather. ’Tis not in possibility, however, for these eyes of mine to be dug out
2
by your threats.
But I want a few words with you; prithee, Palaestrio, whence came she hither?
375
Forbear to threaten me: I know that the cross will prove my tomb; there are laid my forefathers, my father, grandfather, great-grandfather, great-great-grandfather. ’Tis not in possibility, however, for these eyes of mine to be dug out
2
by your threats.
But I want a few words with you; prithee, Palaestrio, whence came she hither?
375
PALAESTRIO
Whence but from our house?
Whence but from our house?
SCELEDRUS
From our house?
From our house?
PALAESTRIO
Do you credit me
3
?
Do you credit me
3
?
SCELEDRUS
I do credit you: but ’tis a thing to be wondered at, how she has been able to return from that house to ours. For, beyond a doubt, we have neither a terrace to our house, nor any garden, nor any window but what is latticed
4
.
(To PHILOCOMASIUM.) But, undoubtedly, I did see you in the house next door.
I do credit you: but ’tis a thing to be wondered at, how she has been able to return from that house to ours. For, beyond a doubt, we have neither a terrace to our house, nor any garden, nor any window but what is latticed
4
.
(To PHILOCOMASIUM.) But, undoubtedly, I did see you in the house next door.
PALAESTRIO
Do you persist, you rascal, in pretending to accuse her?
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Do you persist, you rascal, in pretending to accuse her?
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PHILOCOMASIUM
In good sooth, then, the dream has not turned out untrue, that I dreamed last night.
In good sooth, then, the dream has not turned out untrue, that I dreamed last night.
PALAESTRIO
What did you dream?
What did you dream?
PHILOCOMASIUM
Both of them seemed to me to be having their lodgings here next door.
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Both of them seemed to me to be having their lodgings here next door.
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PALAESTRIO
(to the AUDIENCE.)
The dream that’s being related is Palaestrio’s—pray, go on.
The dream that’s being related is Palaestrio’s—pray, go on.
PHILOCOMASIUM
I seemed to be delighted because my sister had come, and on her account I seemed to be incurring a most grievous suspicion. For, in my sleep, my own servant seemed to accuse me, as you are now doing,
of being caressed by a strange young man, whereas it was that own twin-sister of mine, who had been toying with her own friend. Thus did I dream that I was wrongfully accused of a crime.
390
I seemed to be delighted because my sister had come, and on her account I seemed to be incurring a most grievous suspicion. For, in my sleep, my own servant seemed to accuse me, as you are now doing,
of being caressed by a strange young man, whereas it was that own twin-sister of mine, who had been toying with her own friend. Thus did I dream that I was wrongfully accused of a crime.
390
PALAESTRIO
And isn’t just the same thing befalling you when awake, that you speak of as seen in your sleep? Capital; i’ faith, the dream is verified: go in-doors, and pray
5
.
I should recommend that this be told to the Captain.
395
And isn’t just the same thing befalling you when awake, that you speak of as seen in your sleep? Capital; i’ faith, the dream is verified: go in-doors, and pray
5
.
I should recommend that this be told to the Captain.
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PHILOCOMASIUM
I am resolved to do so; nor, in fact, will I allow myself, with impunity, to be accused of disgraceful conduct.
(Goes into the CAPTAIN’S house.)
I am resolved to do so; nor, in fact, will I allow myself, with impunity, to be accused of disgraceful conduct.
(Goes into the CAPTAIN’S house.)
Miles Gloriosus. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1912.
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