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104
(Enter STRATIPPOCLES and CHAERIBULUS.)
STRATIPPOCLES
I’ve told you all the matter, Chaeribulus, and
I have fully disclosed to you the sum of my griefs and loves.
105
I’ve told you all the matter, Chaeribulus, and
I have fully disclosed to you the sum of my griefs and loves.
105
CHAERIBULUS
You are foolish, Stratippocles, beyond your age and lineage. Does it shame you, because you have bought a captive girl, born of good family, from among the spoil? Who will there be to impute it as a fault to you?
You are foolish, Stratippocles, beyond your age and lineage. Does it shame you, because you have bought a captive girl, born of good family, from among the spoil? Who will there be to impute it as a fault to you?
STRATIPPOCLES
Through doing this, I’ve found that those who are envious are all enemies to me;
but I’ve never offered
1
or criminal assault against her chastity.
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Through doing this, I’ve found that those who are envious are all enemies to me;
but I’ve never offered
1
or criminal assault against her chastity.
110
CHAERIBULUS
Then, so far, in my opinion at least, you are a still more deserving man, inasmuch as you are temperate in your passion.
Then, so far, in my opinion at least, you are a still more deserving man, inasmuch as you are temperate in your passion.
STRATIPPOCLES
He effects nothing who consoles a desponding man with his words: he is a friend, who, in dubious circumstances, aids in deed when deeds are necessary.
He effects nothing who consoles a desponding man with his words: he is a friend, who, in dubious circumstances, aids in deed when deeds are necessary.
CHAERIBULUS
What do you wish me to do?
What do you wish me to do?
STRATIPPOCLES
To lend me forty minae of silver,
to be paid to the Banker from whom I borrowed it on interest.
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To lend me forty minae of silver,
to be paid to the Banker from whom I borrowed it on interest.
115
CHAERIBULUS
On my word, if I had it, I would not deny you.
On my word, if I had it, I would not deny you.
STRATIPPOCLES
What then does it signify your being bounteous in talk, if all aid in the matter
2
is dead outright.
What then does it signify your being bounteous in talk, if all aid in the matter
2
is dead outright.
CHAERIBULUS
Why faith, I myself am quite wearied and distracted with being dunned.
Why faith, I myself am quite wearied and distracted with being dunned.
STRATIPPOCLES
I had rather my friends of that sort were thrust into a furnace than into litigation
3
.
But now I could wish to buy me the assistance of Epidicus at a weighty price, a fellow whom I’ll hand over well-liquored with stripes to the baker
4
, unless he this day finds me forty minae before I’ve mentioned to him the last syllable of the sum.
120
I had rather my friends of that sort were thrust into a furnace than into litigation
3
.
But now I could wish to buy me the assistance of Epidicus at a weighty price, a fellow whom I’ll hand over well-liquored with stripes to the baker
4
, unless he this day finds me forty minae before I’ve mentioned to him the last syllable of the sum.
120
EPIDICUS
(apart.)
The matter’s all right; he promises well; he’ll keep faith, I trust.
(Ironically.)
Without any expenditure of my own, an entertainment
5
is already provided for my shoulder-blades. I’ll accost the man.
(He goes up to STRATIPPOCLES.) The servant Epidicus wishes health to his master Stratippocles, on his arrival from abroad.
125
The matter’s all right; he promises well; he’ll keep faith, I trust.
Without any expenditure of my own, an entertainment
5
is already provided for my shoulder-blades. I’ll accost the man.
(He goes up to STRATIPPOCLES.) The servant Epidicus wishes health to his master Stratippocles, on his arrival from abroad.
125
STRATIPPOCLES
(turning round.)
Where is he?
Where is he?
EPIDICUS
Here he is; I’m delighted that you have returned safe.
Here he is; I’m delighted that you have returned safe.
STRATIPPOCLES
I believe you as much in that as I do myself.
I believe you as much in that as I do myself.
EPIDICUS
Have you been well all along?
Have you been well all along?
STRATIPPOCLES
I’ve been free from disease; in mind I’ve been ailing.
I’ve been free from disease; in mind I’ve been ailing.
EPIDICUS
As regarded myself, I’ve taken care of what you entrusted to me; it has been obtained; the female captive has been bought, about which matter you were sending me letters so often.
130
As regarded myself, I’ve taken care of what you entrusted to me; it has been obtained; the female captive has been bought, about which matter you were sending me letters so often.
130
STRATIPPOCLES
You’ve lost all your labour.
You’ve lost all your labour.
EPIDICUS
But why have I lost it?
But why have I lost it?
STRATIPPOCLES
Because she is not dear to my heart, nor does she please me.
Because she is not dear to my heart, nor does she please me.
EPIDICUS
What means it, then, that you gave me such strict injunctions, and sent letters to me?
What means it, then, that you gave me such strict injunctions, and sent letters to me?
STRATIPPOCLES
Formerly I did love her; but now another passion influences my heart.
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Formerly I did love her; but now another passion influences my heart.
135
EPIDICUS
I’ faith, it is a shocking thing for that to be unpleasant for a man which you have managed well for him; where I’ve done well, I’ve in reality done ill, since love has shifted sides.
I’ faith, it is a shocking thing for that to be unpleasant for a man which you have managed well for him; where I’ve done well, I’ve in reality done ill, since love has shifted sides.
STRATIPPOCLES
I wasn’t right in my mind when I sent those letters to you.
I wasn’t right in my mind when I sent those letters to you.
EPIDICUS
Is it proper that I should be the atonement for your folly,
so as for you to substitute my back as the scape-goat
6
for your folly?
140
Is it proper that I should be the atonement for your folly,
so as for you to substitute my back as the scape-goat
6
for your folly?
140
STRATIPPOCLES
Why are we making words about that? This man
(pointing to himself) has need of forty minae, ready money, and in all haste, for him to pay a Banker, and speedily too.
Why are we making words about that? This man
(pointing to himself) has need of forty minae, ready money, and in all haste, for him to pay a Banker, and speedily too.
EPIDICUS
Only tell me from what quarter you wish me to get them. From what banker am I to seek them?
Only tell me from what quarter you wish me to get them. From what banker am I to seek them?
STRATIPPOCLES
From where you like. But if I don’t finger them before sunset,
don’t you enter my house; off with yourself to the mill.
145
From where you like. But if I don’t finger them before sunset,
don’t you enter my house; off with yourself to the mill.
145
EPIDICUS
You easily say that without risk and concern, and with a gay heart. I know our floggers; I feel the pain when I’m beaten.
You easily say that without risk and concern, and with a gay heart. I know our floggers; I feel the pain when I’m beaten.
STRATIPPOCLES
How say you now? Will you suffer me to destroy myself?
How say you now? Will you suffer me to destroy myself?
EPIDICUS
Don’t do that. I’ll cope with this peril and bold attempt in preference.
Don’t do that. I’ll cope with this peril and bold attempt in preference.
STRATIPPOCLES
Now you please me; now do I commend you.
150
Now you please me; now do I commend you.
150
EPIDICUS
I’ll submit to this in any way that’s pleasing to you.
I’ll submit to this in any way that’s pleasing to you.
STRATIPPOCLES
What then is to be done about this music-girl?
What then is to be done about this music-girl?
EPIDICUS
Some method shall be found out; by some means I’ll disengage myself; some way I shall get extricated.
Some method shall be found out; by some means I’ll disengage myself; some way I shall get extricated.
STRATIPPOCLES
You are full of scheming; I know you of old.
You are full of scheming; I know you of old.
EPIDICUS
There is a rich Captain of Eubœa
7
, abounding in plenty of gold, who, when he knows that that one was bought for you, and that this other one has been brought here,
will forthwith be entreating you, of his own accord, to transfer that other one to him. But where is she whom you have brought with you?
There is a rich Captain of Eubœa
7
, abounding in plenty of gold, who, when he knows that that one was bought for you, and that this other one has been brought here,
will forthwith be entreating you, of his own accord, to transfer that other one to him. But where is she whom you have brought with you?
STRATIPPOCLES
I shall have her here just now.
I shall have her here just now.
CHAERIBULUS
What are we now doing here?
What are we now doing here?
STRATIPPOCLES
Let’s go in-doors here at your house, that, for the present, we may pass this day merrily.
(They go into the house of CHAERIBULUS.)
Let’s go in-doors here at your house, that, for the present, we may pass this day merrily.
EPIDICUS
(to himself.)
Go in-doors; I’ll now call
8
a council in my heart to adopt measures about this money business,
against whom, in especial, war is to be declared, and out of whom I’m to get the money. Epidicus, consider what you are to do; thus suddenly has this business been thrown upon you. But now you must not be slumbering, nor have you any leisure for delay. Now must you be daring! ’Tis my fixed determination to lay siege to the old man. I’ll go indoors; I’ll tell the young man, my master’s son,
160
not to walk abroad here, or come anywhere in the way of the old gentleman.
165
(Goes into the house of CHAERIBULUS.)
Go in-doors; I’ll now call
8
a council in my heart to adopt measures about this money business,
against whom, in especial, war is to be declared, and out of whom I’m to get the money. Epidicus, consider what you are to do; thus suddenly has this business been thrown upon you. But now you must not be slumbering, nor have you any leisure for delay. Now must you be daring! ’Tis my fixed determination to lay siege to the old man. I’ll go indoors; I’ll tell the young man, my master’s son,
160
not to walk abroad here, or come anywhere in the way of the old gentleman.
165
Epidicus. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1913.
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