T. Maccius Plautus Casina 3.5

PARDALISCA

(bawling out at the door.)

I’m undone, I’m undone, I’m utterly, utterly ruined! My heart is deadened with fear. My limbs, in my misery, are all a-trembling! I know not whence to obtain or look for any assistance, safety, or refuge for myself, or any means of relief:

things so surprising, in a manner so surprisingly done, have I just now witnessed in-doors, a new and unusual piece of audacity. Be on your guard, Cleostrata! prithee do get away from her,lest amid such transports she may be doing you some mischief! Tear away that sword from her, who’s not in possession of her senses!

625

STALINO

Why, what is the matter—that she, frightened and half dead with fear, rushes hither out of doors? Pardalisca!

630

PARDALISCA

(looking wildly about her.)

Whence do my ears catch the sound?

STALINO

Just look back at me.

PARDALISCA

My master!

STALINO

What’s the matter? What?

PARDALISCA

I’m undone.

STALINO

How undone?

PARDALISCA

I’m undone, and you are undone.

STALINO

Disclose it, what’s the matter with you?

PARDALISCA

Woe to you!

STALINO

Aye, and the same to yourself.

PARDALISCA

That I mayn’t fall down, prithee do hold, hold me.

(Staggers, on which STALINO supports her.)

STALINO

Whatever it is, tell me quickly.

635

PARDALISCA

Do support my throbbing breast, prithee do make a little air with your cloak.

STALINO

(fanning her with the lappet of his cloak.)

I’m in alarm as to what is the matter; (aside) unless this woman has been somewhere upsetting herself with the pure cream ¹ of Bacchus.

PARDALISCA

Hold my ears, pray do.

(Her head falls on her shoulder.)

STALINO

Away to utter perdition; breast, ears, head, and yourself, may the Gods confound! For, unless I quickly learn from you this matter, whatever it is, I’ll forth with be knocking your brains out, you viper,

you hussey, who have thus far been making a laughing-stock of me.

645

PARDALISCA

My master!

STALINO

What do you want, my servant?

PARDALISCA

You are too angry.

STALINO

You are saying so too soon. But whatever this is, tell it; relate in a few words what has been the disturbance in-doors.

PARDALISCA

You shall know.

Hear this most foul crime which just now in-doors at our house your female slave began to attempt after this fashion, a thing that does not befit the regulations lations of Attica.

649650

STALINO

What is it?

PARDALISCA

Fever prevents the use of my tongue.

STALINO

What is it? Can I possibly learn from you what is the matter?

PARDALISCA

I’ll tell you. Your female slave, she whom you intend to give as a wife to your bailiff, in-doors she—

STALINO

In-doors what? What is it?

PARDALISCA

Is imitating the wicked practices of wicked women, in threatening her husband—

STALINO

What then?

PARDALISCA

Ah!

STALINO

What is it?

PARDALISCA

She says that she intends to take her husband’s life.

A sword—

660

STALINO

(starting.)

Hah!

PARDALISCA

A sword—

STALINO

What about that sword?

PARDALISCA

She has got one.

STALINO

Ah! wretch that I am! Why has she got it?

PARDALISCA

She is pursuing them all at home all over the house, and she won’t allow any person to approach her; and so, all, hiding in chests and under beds,

are mute with fear.

665

STALINO

I’m murdered and ruined outright! What malady is this that has so suddenly befallen her?

PARDALISCA

She is mad.

STALINO

I do think that I am the most unfortunate of men!

PARDALISCA

Aye, and if you were to know the speeches she uttered to-day.

STALINO

I long to know about what she said.

PARDALISCA

Listen.

By all the Gods and Goddesses she swore that she would murder the person with whom she should bed.

670

STALINO

Will she murder me?

PARDALISCA

Does that bear reference to yourself in any way?

STALINO

Pshaw!

PARDALISCA

What business have you with her?

STALINO

I made a mistake; him, the bailiff, I meant to say.

PARDALISCA

It’s on purpose ² that you are turning aside from the high road into bye-paths.

675

STALINO

Does she threaten anything against myself?

PARDALISCA

She is hostile to you individually more than any person.

STALINO

For what reason?

PARDALISCA

Because you have given her as a wife to Olympio; she says that she’ll neither suffer your life, nor her own, nor that of her husband,

to be prolonged until the morrow. I have been sent hither to tell you this, that you might beware of her.

679680

STALINO

(aside.)

By my troth, to my misery I’m quite undone!

There neither is nor ever was any old man in love so wretched as I.

PARDALISCA

(aside, to the AUDIENCE.)

Don’t I play him off cleverly? For everything that I’ve been telling him as taking place, I’ve been telling him falsely. My mistress and she who lives next door have concocted this scheme. I’ve been sent to fool him.

STALINO

Hark you, Pardalisca!

PARDALISCA

What is it?

STALINO

There is —

PARDALISCA

What?

STALINO

There is something that I want to enquire of you about.

PARDALISCA

You are causing me delay.

690

STALINO

Why, you are causing me sorrow. But has Casina got that sword even still?

PARDALISCA

She has; but two of them.

STALINO

Why two?

PARDALISCA

She says that this very day she’ll murder you with the one, the bailiff with the other.

STALINO

I am now the most utterly murdered of all people that do exist.

I’ll put on me a coat of mail; I think that’s the best. What did my wife do? Didn’t she go and take them away from her?

695

PARDALISCA

No person dares go near her.

STALINO

She should have prevailed on her.

PARDALISCA

She is entreating her. She declares that assuredly she will lay them down on no other terms, unless she understands that she shall not be given to the bailiff.

STALINO

But whether she likes it or no, because she refuses, she shall marry him this day. For why shouldn’t I carry this out that I’ve begun, for her to marry me?—that, indeed, I didn’t intend to say—but, our bailiff?

700

PARDALISCA

You’re making your mistakes pretty often.

STALINO

It’s alarm that impedes my words. But, prithee,

do tell my wife, that I entreat her to prevail upon her to put down the sword, and allow me to return in-doors.

705

PARDALISCA

I’ll tell her.

STALINO

And do you entreat her.

PARDALISCA

And I’ll entreat her.

STALINO

And in soft language, in your usual way. But do you hear me? If you manage this, I’ll give you a pair of shoes ³ and a gold ring ⁴ for your finger, and plenty of nice things.

PARDALISCA

I’ll do my best.

710

STALINO

Take care and prevail.

PARDALISCA

Now then I’ll be off; unless you detain me for anything.

STALINO

Be off, and take care.

PARDALISCA

(aside.)

Look, his assistant is returning, at last, with the provisions; he’s bringing a train after him. (She goes into the house.)