T. Maccius Plautus Casina 2.6

CLEOSTRATA

Let me know, Chalinus, what my husband wants with me.

CHALINUS

By my troth, he wants to see you burning outside of the Metian gate ¹ .

CLEOSTRATA

I’ faith, I believe he does want that.

355

CHALINUS

But, by my troth, I don’t believe it, but I know it for certain.

STALINO

(aside to OLYMPIO.)

I’ve got more men of business than I imagined: I’ve got this fellow, a Diviner, in my house. What, if we move our standards nearer, and go to meet them? Follow me. (Goes up to CLEOSTRATA and CHALINUS.) What are you about?

CHALINUS

All the things are here which you ordered; your wife, the lots, the urn, and myself.

STALINO

By yourself only, there is more here than I want.

CHALINUS

I’ faith, so it seems to you indeed. I’m a stinger to you now; I’m pricking that dear little heart of yours; even now it’s palpitating from alarm.

360

STALINO

Whip-knave— ²

CLEOSTRATA

Hold your tongue, Chalinus,

OLYMPIO

Do make that fellow be quiet.

CHALINUS

No, that fellow rather (pointing to OLYMPIO), who has learned to misbehave ³ .

STALINO

(to CHALINUS.)

Set the urn down here. (CHALINUS puts it down.) Give me the lots: lend your attention now. But I did think, my wife, that I could have prevailed upon you thus far,

for Casina to be given me as my wife, and even now I think so.

365

OLYMPIO.

She, given to you?

STALINO

Why yes, to me—dear me, I didn’t mean to say that. While I meant for myself ⁴ , I said him; (aside) why really, while I’m wanting her for myself, I’ve already, i’ faith, been chattering at random.

CLEOSTRATA

(overhearing him.)

Upon my word, you really have; and you are still doing so.

STALINO

For him—no, no; for myself, i’ faith ⁵ . Plague take it, at last, with great difficulty, I’ve got into the right road!

CLEOSTRATA

Very often, i’ faith, you are making your mistakes.

370

STALINO

Such is the case when you desire anything very much. But each of us, both he (pointing to OLYMPIO) and I, apply to you for our rights—

CLEOSTRATA

How’s that?

STALINO

Why, I’ll tell you, my sweet. As to this Casina, you must make a present of her to this bailiff of ours.

CLEOSTRATA

But, i’ faith, I neither do make it, nor do I in tend it.

STALINO

In that case, then, I’ll divide the lots between them.

CLEOSTRATA

Who forbids you?

STALINO

I judge with reason that that is the best and fairest way. In fine, if that happens which we desire, we shall be glad; but if otherwise, we’ll bear it with equanimity. (Giving a lot to OLYMPIO.) Take, this lot—take it; see what’s written on it.

375

OLYMPIO

(looking at it.)

Number one.

CHALINUS

It isn’t fair, be cause that fellow has got one before me.

STALINO

(giving one to CHALINUS.)

Take this, will you.

CHALINUS

(taking it.)

Give it me. Stop though; one thing has just now come into my mind.

(To CLEOSTRATA.)

Do you see that there’s no other lot in there by chance at the bottom of the water.

380

STALINO

Whip-rascal! do you take me to be your own self?

(To CLEOSTRATA.)

There is none; only set your feelings at rest.

OLYMPIO

(to CHALINUS.)

May it prove lucky and fortunate to me, a great mischance to you!

CHALINUS

I’ faith, it will certainly fall to you, I fancy; I know your pious ways. But stop a bit; is that lot of yours of poplar or of fir?

OLYMPIO

Why do you trouble yourself about that?

385

CHALINUS

Why, because I’m afraid that it may float on the surface of the water. (They go up to the urn.)

STALINO

Capital!—take care! Now then, both of you, throw your lots in here. (Pointing to the urn.) Look now, wife, all’s fair. (They throw them in.)

OLYMPIO

Don’t you trust your wife.

STALINO

Be of good courage.

OLYMPIO

Upon my faith, I do believe that she’ll lay a spell upon the lots this very day, if she touches them.

STALINO

Hold your tongue.

OLYMPIO

I’ll hold my tongue. I pray the Gods—

CHALINUS

Aye,that this day you may have to endure the chain ⁶ and the bilboes ⁷ .

OLYMPIO

That the lot may fall to me.

390

CHALINUS

Aye, faith, that you may hang up by the feet.

OLYMPIO

Aye, that you may blow your eyes out of your head through your nose.

CHALINUS

(to STALINO.)

What are you afraid of? It must be ready by this— (Turning to OLYMPIO.) A halter for you, I mean.

OLYMPIO

(to CHALINUS.)

You’re undone!

STALINO

Give attention, both of you.

OLYMPIO

I’ll be mum.

STALINO

Now you, Cleostrata, that you may not say that anything has been done cheatingly by me in this matter, or suspect it,

I give you leave, do you yourself draw the lots.

395

OLYMPIO

(to STALINO.)

You are ruining me.

CHALINUS

He’s gaining an advantage rather.

CLEOSTRATA

(to STALINO.)

You do what’s fair.

CHALINUS

(to OLYMPIO.)

I pray the Gods that your lot say run away out of the urn.

OLYMPIO

Say you so? Because you are a runaway yourself, do you wish all to follow your example? I wish, indeed, that that lot of yours, as they say that of the descendants of Hercules ⁸ once did, may melt away while the lots are drawing.

CHALINUS

And you, that you may melt away yourself, and just now be made hot with twigs.

400

STALINO

Attend, will you, to the business in hand, Olympio!

OLYMPIO

Yes, if this thrice-dotted ⁹ fellow ’ll let me.

STALINO

May this prove lucky and fortunate to me.

OLYMPIO

Yes indeed; to me as well.

CHALINUS

Not so.

OLYMPIO

By my troth, yes, I say.

CHALINUS

By my troth, yes, for myself, I say.

STALINO

(to OLYMPIO.)

He’ll be the winner; you’ll live in wretchedness.

Do you give him a punch in the face this instant! Well, what are you about?

CLEOSTRATA

(to OLYMPIO.)

Don’t you raise your hand. ¹⁰

OLYMPIO

(to STALINO.)

With clenched or open hand am I to strike him?

405

STALINO

Do just as you please.

OLYMPIO

(striking CHALINUS.)

There’s for you, take that!

CLEOSTRATA

(to OLYMPIO.)

What business have you to touch him?

OLYMPIO

Because my Jupiter (pointing to STALINO) commanded me.

CLEOSTRATA

(to CHALINUS.)

Do you slap him in the face in return.

(CHALINUS strikes OLYMPIO in the face.)

OLYMPIO

(calling out to STALINO.)

I’m being murdered, I’m being punched with his fists, Jupiter!

STALINO

(to CHALINUS.)

What business had you to touch him?

CHALINUS

Because this Juno of mine (pointing to CLEOSTRATA) ordered me.

STALINO

I must put up with it, since, as long as I live, my wife will have the mastery.

CLEOSTRATA

(to STALINO.)

He (pointing to CHALINUS) ought to be allowed to speak as much as that fellow.

410

OLYMPIO

Why by his talk does he occasion me an unlucky omens

STALINO

I think, Chalinus, you should be on your guard against a mishap.

CHALINUS

Full time, after my face has been battered!

STALINO

Come, wife, now then draw the lots. (To the SERVANTS.) Do you give your attention. (To CLEOSTRATA.) And give it, you, as well.

OLYMPIO

Where I am I know not. ¹¹ I’m undone, I’ve got my heart full of maggots, I think; it’s jumping about already;

with its throbbing it beats against my breast.

415

CLEOSTRATA

(putting her hand into the urn.)

I’ve got hold of a lot.

STALINO

Draw it out, then.

CHALINUS

(to OLYMPIO.)

Are you not dead now?

OLYMPIO

Show it. (She shows it.) It’s mine.

CHALINUS

Really this is an unlucky mishap.

CLEOSTRATA

You are beaten, Chalinus.

STALINO

Then I’m glad that we are to survive after all, Olympio.

OLYMPIO

Through my own piety and that of my forefathers has it happened.

STALINO

Wife, go in-doors and make ready for the wedding.

CLEOSTRATA

I’ll do as you bid me.

STALINO

Do you know that it’s to a distance in the country, at the farm-house,that he is to take her?

420

CLEOSTRATA

I know.

STALINO

Go in-doors,and although this is disagreable to you, still take care and attend to it.

CLEOSTRATA

Very well. (Goes into the house.)

STALINO

(to OLYMPIO.)

Let us, as well, go in-doors; let’s entreat them to make all haste.

OLYMPIO

Am I delaying at all?

For in his presence (pointing to CHALINUS) I don’t want there to be any further conversation. (They go into the house.)