13
Zeus, Asclepius and Heracles
ZEUS
Stop quarrelling, you two; you’re just like a couple of men. It’s quite improper and out of place at the table of the gods.
Stop quarrelling, you two; you’re just like a couple of men. It’s quite improper and out of place at the table of the gods.
HERACLES
But, Zeus, do you really mean this medicine man to have a place above me?
But, Zeus, do you really mean this medicine man to have a place above me?
ASCLEPIUS
He does, by Zeus, for I’m your better.
He does, by Zeus, for I’m your better.
HERACLES
How, you crackbrain? Because Zeus blasted you with his thunderbolt for your impious doings,
1
and you’ve now received immortality because he relented and pitied you?
How, you crackbrain? Because Zeus blasted you with his thunderbolt for your impious doings,
1
and you’ve now received immortality because he relented and pitied you?
ASCLEPIUS
You must have forgotten, Heracles, how you too were scorched to death on Oeta,
2
that you taunt me with getting burned.
You must have forgotten, Heracles, how you too were scorched to death on Oeta,
2
that you taunt me with getting burned.
HERACLES
That doesn’t mean our lives were the same. I’m the son of Zeus, and performed all those labours cleaning up the world, by overcoming monsters, and punishing men of violence; but you’re just a herb-chopper and quack, useful perhaps among suffering humanity for administering potions, but without one manly deed to show.
That doesn’t mean our lives were the same. I’m the son of Zeus, and performed all those labours cleaning up the world, by overcoming monsters, and punishing men of violence; but you’re just a herb-chopper and quack, useful perhaps among suffering humanity for administering potions, but without one manly deed to show.
ASCLEPIUS
Have you nothing to say of how I healed your burns, when you came up half-scorched the other day? Between the tunic and the fire after it, your body was in a fine mess. Besides, if nothing else, I was never a slave like you, carding wool in Lydia, wearing purple, and being beaten with Omphale’s
3
golden sandal. What’s more, I never killed my wife
4
and children in a fit of spleen.
Have you nothing to say of how I healed your burns, when you came up half-scorched the other day? Between the tunic and the fire after it, your body was in a fine mess. Besides, if nothing else, I was never a slave like you, carding wool in Lydia, wearing purple, and being beaten with Omphale’s
3
golden sandal. What’s more, I never killed my wife
4
and children in a fit of spleen.
HERACLES
If you don’t stop insulting me, you’ll pretty soon find out that your immortality won’t help you much. I’ll pick you up and throw you head first out of heaven, so that you’ll crack your skull, and not even Apollo the Healer will be able to do anything for you.
If you don’t stop insulting me, you’ll pretty soon find out that your immortality won’t help you much. I’ll pick you up and throw you head first out of heaven, so that you’ll crack your skull, and not even Apollo the Healer will be able to do anything for you.
ZEUS
Stop it, I say; don’t disturb our dinner-party, or I’ll send you both from the table. But it’s only reasonable, Heracles, that Asclepius should have a place above you, as he died before you.
Stop it, I say; don’t disturb our dinner-party, or I’ll send you both from the table. But it’s only reasonable, Heracles, that Asclepius should have a place above you, as he died before you.
Dialogi deorum. Lucian of Samosata. Matthew Donald Macleod (Translator). Medford, MA. Perseus 5.0.
Sponsored by Perseus Project, Tufts University.
Funding provided by The National Endowment for the Humanities.