Lucian of Samosata, Rhetorum praeceptor, Austin Morris Harmon (Translator), 22

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[22] “I almost omitted the thing that is most important and most needful for maintaining your reputation. Laugh at all the speakers. If anyone makes a fine speech, let it appear that he is parading something that belongs to someone else and is not his own; and if he is mildly criticized, let everything that he says be objectionable. At public lectures, go in after everybody else, for that makes you conspicuous; and when everybody is silent, let fall an uncouth expression of praise which will draw the attention of the company and so annoy them that they will all be disgusted at the vulgarity of your language and will stop their ears.¹ Do not make frequent gestures of assent, for that is common, and do not rise,² except once or at most twice. As a rule, smile faintly, and make it evident that you are not satisfied with what is being said. There are plenty of opportunities for criticism if one has captious ears.

“For the rest, you need have no fear. Effrontery and shamelessness, a prompt lie, with an oath to confirm it always on the edge of your lips, jealousy and hatred of everyone, abuse and plausible slanders —all this will make you famous and distinguished in an instant.

Rhetorum praeceptor. Lucian of Samosata. Austin Morris Harmon (Translator). United States. Perseus 5.0.

Funding provided by National Endowment for the Humanities.

Current edition Perseus

A Professor of Public Speaking (English) (Lucian, Vol. 4. Harmon, Austin Morris, editor. London: William Heinemann, Ltd.; Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1925 (printing).)

Editions (1)

Ῥητόρων Διδάσκαλος Perseus (Lucian, Vol. 4. Harmon, Austin Morris, editor. London: William Heinemann, Ltd.; Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1925 (printing).) — 22 focus

[22] ὃ δὲ μέγιστον καὶ πρὸς τὸ εὐδοκιμεῖν ἀναγκαιότατον ὀλίγου δεῖν παρέλιπον, ἁπάντων καταγέλα τῶν λεγόντων. καὶ ἢν μέν τις καλῶς εἴπῃ, ἀλλότρια καὶ οὐχ ἑαυτοῦ δεικνύειν δοκείτω· ἢν δὲ μετρίως ἐλεγχθῇ,¹ πάντα ἔστω ἐπιλήψιμα. καὶ ἐν ταῖς ἀκροάσεσι μετὰ πάντας εἰσιέναι χρή, ἐπίσημον γάρ· καὶ σιωπησάντων ἁπάντων ξένον τινὰ ἔπαινον ἐπειπεῖν τὰς ἀκοὰς τῶν παρόντων ἐπιστρέψοντα² καὶ ἐνοχλήσοντα, ὡς ναυτιᾶν ἅπαντας ἐπὶ τῷ φορτικῷ τῶν ὀνομάτων καὶ ἐπιφράττεσθαι τὰ ὦτα. καὶ ἐπισείσῃς δὲ μὴ πολλάκις τὴν χεῖρα, εὐτελὲς γάρ, μηδʼ ἀναστῇς, πλὴν ἅπαξ γε ἢ δὶς τὸ πλεῖστον. ὑπομειδία δὲ τὰ πολλὰ καὶ δῆλος γίγνου μὴ ἀρεσκόμενος τοῖς λεγομένοις. ἀμφιλαφεῖς δὲ αἱ ἀφορμαὶ τῶν μέμψεων τοῖς συκοφαντικοῖς τὰ ὦτα.

τὰ δ’ ἄλλα χρὴ θαρρεῖν· ἡ τόλμα γὰρ καὶ ἡ ἀναισχυντία καὶ ψεῦδος πρόχειρον καὶ ὅρκος ἐπʼ ἄκροις ἀεὶ τοῖς χείλεσι καὶ φθόνος πρὸς ἅπαντας καὶ μῖσος καὶ βλασφημία καὶ διαβολαὶ πιθαναί — ταῦτά σε ἀοίδιμον ἐν βραχεῖ καὶ περίβλεπτον ἀποφανεῖ.

Translations (1)

The Rhetorician’s Vade Mecum Perseus (The Works of Lucian of Samosata, Vol. 3. Fowler, Henry Watson and Fowler, Francis George, translators. Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1905.) — 22 focus

[22] But dear me, I had very nearly passed over the most important and effectual of all aids to reputation ¢ the pouring of ridicule upon your rivals. If aman has a fine style, its beauties are borrowed; if a sober one, it is bad altogether. When you go to a recitation, arrive late, which makes you conspicuous; and when all are listening intently, interject some inappropriate commendation that will distract and annoy the audience; they will be so sickened with your offensive words that they cannot listen. And then do not wave your hand too much—warm approval is rather low; and as to jumping up, never do tt more than once or twice. A slight smile is your best expression; make it clear that you do not think much of the thing. Only let your ears be critical, and you are sure of finding plenty to condemn. In fact, all the qualities needed are easily come by—audacity, effrontery, ready lying, indifference to perjury, impartial jealousy, hatred, abuse, and skilful slander— that is all you want to win you speedy credit and renown. So much for your visible public life.

Notes on the current edition

A Professor of Public Speaking

Here again Lucian himself breaks through, and describes what a fellow of this sort actually does. The man himself would put it quite differently.

A form of applause; cf. Essays in Portraiture Defended, c. 4, at end.

Lucian of Samosata Rhetorum praeceptor 22

Austin Morris Harmon (Translator)

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