Lucian, De parasito sive artem esse parasiticam, Henry Watson Fowler (Translator), Francis George Fowler (Translator), 1

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[1]

Tychiades

I am curious about you, Simon. Ordinary people, free and slaves alike, have some trade or profession that enables them to benefit themselves and others; you seem to be an exception.

Simon

I do not quite see what you mean, Tychiades; put it a little clearer.

Tychiades

I want to know whether you have a profession of any sort; for instance, are you a musician?

Simon

Certainly not.

Tychiades

A doctor?

Simon

No.

Tychiades

A mathematician?

Simon

No.

Tychiades

Do you teach rhetoric, then? I need not ask about philosophy; you have about as much to do with that as sin has.

Simon

Less, if possible. Do not imagine that you are enlightening me upon my failings. I acknowledge myself a sinner— worse than you take me for.

Tychiades

Very well. But possibly you have abstained from these professions because nothing great is easy. Perhaps a trade is more in your way; are you a carpenter or cobbler? Your circumstances are hardly such as to make a trade superfluous.

Simon

Quite true. Well, I have no skill in any of these.

Tychiades

But in——?

Simon

An excellent one, in my opinion; if you were acquainted with it you would agree, I am sure. I can claim to be a practical master in the art by this time; whether I can give an account of my faith is another question.

Tychiades

What is it?

Simon

No, I do not think I have got up the theory of it sufficiently. For the present, rest assured that I have a profession, and cease your strictures on that head. Its nature you shall know another time.

Tychiades

No, no; I will not be put off like that.

Simon

Well, I am afraid my profession would be rather a shock to you.

Tychiades

I like shocks.

Simon

Well, I will tell you some day.

Tychiades

Now, I say; or else I shall know you are ashamed of it.

Simon

Well, then, I sponge.

De parasito sive artem esse parasiticam. Lucian. Henry Watson Fowler (Translator), Francis George Fowler (Translator). Medford, MA, USA. 2023-08-01.

Current edition Perseus

The Parasite: a Demonstration that Sponging is a Profession (English) (The Works of Lucian of Samosata, Vol. 3. Fowler, Henry Watson and Fowler, Francis George, translators. Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1905.)

Editions (1)

Περὶ τοῦ Παρασίτου ὅτι Τέχνη ἡ Παρασιτική Perseus (Lucian, Vol. 3. Harmon, Austin Morris, editor. London: William Heinemann, Ltd.; Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1921.) — 1 focus

Τυχιάδης

τί ποτε ἄρα, ὦ Σίμων, οἱ μὲν ἄλλοι ἄνθρωποι καὶ ἐλεύθεροι καὶ δοῦλοι τέχνην ἕκαστός τινα ἐπίστανται διʼ ἧς αὑτοῖς τέ εἰσιν καὶ ἄλλῳ χρήσιμοι, σὺ δέ, ὡς ἔοικεν, ἔργον οὐδὲν ἔχεις διʼ οὗ ἄν τι ἢ αὐτὸς ἀπόναιο ἢ ἄλλῳ μεταδοίης;

Σίμων

πῶς τοῦτο ἐρωτᾷς, ὦ Τυχιάδη; οὐδέπω οἶδα. πειρῶ δὴ σαφέστερον ἐρωτᾶν.

Τυχιάδης

ἔστιν ἥντινα τυγχάνεις ἐπιστάμενος τέχνην, οἷον μουσικήν;

Σίμων

μὰ Δία.

Τυχιάδης

Τί δέ, ἰατρικήν;

Σίμων

οὐδὲ ταύτην.

Τυχιάδης

ἀλλὰ γεωμετρίαν;

Σίμων

οὐδαμῶς.

Τυχιάδης

τί δέ, ῥητορικήν; φιλοσοφίας μὲν γὰρ τοσοῦτον ἀπέχεις ὅσον καὶ ἡ κακία.

Σίμων

ἐγὼ μέν, εἰ οἷόν τε εἶναι, καὶ πλεῖον. ὥστε μὴ δόκει¹ τοῦτο καθάπερ ἀγνοοῦντι ὀνειδίσαι· φημὶ γὰρ κακὸς εἶναι καὶ χείρων ἢ σὺ δοκεῖς.

Τυχιάδης

ναί. ἀλλὰ ταύτας μὲν ἴσως τὰς τέχνας οὐκ ἐξέμαθες διὰ μέγεθος αὐτῶν καὶ δυσκολίαν, τῶν δὲ δημοτικῶν τινα, τεκτονικὴν ἢ σκυτοτομικήν; καὶ γὰρ οὐδὲ τἄλλα οὕτως ἔχει σοι, ὡς μὴ καὶ τοιαύτης ἂν δεηθῆναι τέχνης.

Σίμων

ὀρθῶς λέγεις, ὦ Τυχιάδη· ἀλλʼ οὐδὲ γὰρ² τούτων οὐδεμιᾶς ἐπιστήμων εἰμί.

Τυχιάδης

τίνος οὖν ἑτέρας;

Σίμων

τίνος; ὡς ἐγὼ οἶμαι, γενναίας· ἣν εἰ μάθοις, καὶ σὲ ἐπαινέσειν οἴομαι. ἔργῳ μὲν οὖν κατορθοῦν φημι ἤδη, εἰ δέ σοι καὶ λόγῳ,³ οὐκ ἔχω εἰπεῖν.

Τυχιάδης

τίνα ταύτην;

Σίμων

οὔπω μοι δοκῶ τοὺς περὶ ταύτην ἐκμεμελετηκέναι λόγους. ὥστε ὅτι τέχνην μέν τινα ἐπίσταμαι, ὑπάρχει ἤδη σοι γιγνώσκειν καὶ μὴ διὰ τοῦτο χαλεπῶς μοι ἔχειν· ἥντινα δέ, αὖθις ἀκούσῃ.

Τυχιάδης

ἀλλʼ οὐκ ἀνέξομαι.

Σίμων

τό γε τῆς τέχνης παράδοξον ἴσως φανεῖταί σοι ἀκούσαντι.

Τυχιάδης

καὶ μὴν διὰ τοῦτο σπουδάζω μαθεῖν.

Σίμων

εἰσαῦθις, ὦ Τυχιάδη.

Τυχιάδης

μηδαμῶς, ἀλλʼ ἤδη λέγε, εἰ μή περ ἄρα αἰσχύνῃ.

Σίμων

ἡ παρασιτική.

Translations (1)

The Parasite Tychiades Perseus (Lucian, Vol. 3. Harmon, Austin Morris, editor. London: William Heinemann, Ltd.; Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1921.) — 1 focus

[1]

TYCHIADES

Why in the world is it, Simon, that while other men, both slave and free, each know some art by which they are of use to themselves and to someone else, you apparently have no work which would enable you to make any profit yourself or give away anything to anybody else?

SIMON

What do you mean by that question, Tychiades? I do not understand. Try to put it more clearly.

TYCHIADES

Is there any art that you happen to know? Music, for instance? °

SIMON

No, indeed.

TYCHIADES

Well, medicine?

SIMON

Not that, either.

TYCHIADES

Geometry, then?

SIMON

Not by any means. Well, rhetoric? For as to philosophy, you are as remote from that as vice itself is!

SIMON

Indeed, even more so, if possible. So don’t suppose you have touched me with that taunt, as if I did not know it. I admit that I am vicious, and worse than you think!

TYCHIADES

Quite so. Well, it may be that although you have not learned those arts because of their magnitude and difficulty, you have learned one of the vulgar arts like carpentry or shoemaking; you are not so well off in every way as not to need even such an art.

SIMON

You are right, Tychiades; but I am not acquainted with any of these either.

TYCHIADES

What other art, then?

SIMON

What other? A fine one, I think. If you knew about it, I believe you would speak highly of it too. In practice, I claim to be successful at it already, but whether you will find me so in theory also I can't say.

TYCHIADES

What is it?

SIMON

I do not feel that I have yet thoroughly mastered the literature on that subject. So for the present you may know that I possess an art and need not be dissatisfied with me on that score; some other day you shall hear what art it is.

TYCHIADES

But I can’t wait.

SIMON

The nature of the art will perhaps seem extraordinary when you hear it.

TYCHIADES

Tr aly, that is just why I am keen to know about it.

SIMON

‘Some other day, Tychiades.

TYCHIADES

Oh, no! Tell me now—unless you are ashamed!

SIMON

Parasitic.

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Search the Perseus Catalog for:

Tychiades

Simon

Tychiades

Simon

Tychiades

Simon

Tychiades

Simon

Tychiades

Simon

Tychiades

Simon

Tychiades

Simon

Tychiades

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Tychiades

Simon

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Tychiades

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Current edition Perseus

Σίμων πῶς τοῦτο ἐρωτᾷς, ὦ Τυχιάδη; οὐδέπω οἶδα. πειρῶ δὴ σαφέστερον ἐρωτᾶν.

Τυχιάδης ἔστιν ἥντινα τυγχάνεις ἐπιστάμενος τέχνην, οἷον μουσικήν;

Σίμων μὰ Δία.

Τυχιάδης Τί δέ, ἰατρικήν;

Σίμων οὐδὲ ταύτην.

Τυχιάδης ἀλλὰ γεωμετρίαν;

Σίμων οὐδαμῶς.

Τυχιάδης τί δέ, ῥητορικήν; φιλοσοφίας μὲν γὰρ τοσοῦτον ἀπέχεις ὅσον καὶ ἡ κακία.

Σίμων ἐγὼ μέν, εἰ οἷόν τε εἶναι, καὶ πλεῖον. ὥστε μὴ δόκει 1 τοῦτο καθάπερ ἀγνοοῦντι ὀνειδίσαι· φημὶ γὰρ κακὸς εἶναι καὶ χείρων ἢ σὺ δοκεῖς.

Σίμων ὀρθῶς λέγεις, ὦ Τυχιάδη· ἀλλʼ οὐδὲ γὰρ 2 τούτων οὐδεμιᾶς ἐπιστήμων εἰμί.

Τυχιάδης τίνος οὖν ἑτέρας;

Σίμων τίνος; ὡς ἐγὼ οἶμαι, γενναίας· ἣν εἰ μάθοις, καὶ σὲ ἐπαινέσειν οἴομαι. ἔργῳ μὲν οὖν κατορθοῦν φημι ἤδη, εἰ δέ σοι καὶ λόγῳ, 3 οὐκ ἔχω εἰπεῖν.

Τυχιάδης τίνα ταύτην;

Τυχιάδης ἀλλʼ οὐκ ἀνέξομαι.

Σίμων τό γε τῆς τέχνης παράδοξον ἴσως φανεῖταί σοι ἀκούσαντι.

Τυχιάδης καὶ μὴν διὰ τοῦτο σπουδάζω μαθεῖν.

Σίμων εἰσαῦθις, ὦ Τυχιάδη.

Τυχιάδης μηδαμῶς, ἀλλʼ ἤδη λέγε, εἰ μή περ ἄρα αἰσχύνῃ.

Σίμων ἡ παρασιτική.

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

Stable identifiers

Σίμων

πῶς τοῦτο ἐρωτᾷς, ὦ Τυχιάδη; οὐδέπω οἶδα. πειρῶ δὴ σαφέστερον ἐρωτᾶν.

Τυχιάδης

ἔστιν ἥντινα τυγχάνεις ἐπιστάμενος τέχνην, οἷον μουσικήν;

Σίμων

μὰ Δία.

Τυχιάδης

Τί δέ, ἰατρικήν;

Σίμων

οὐδὲ ταύτην.

Τυχιάδης

ἀλλὰ γεωμετρίαν;

Σίμων

οὐδαμῶς.

Τυχιάδης

τί δέ, ῥητορικήν; φιλοσοφίας μὲν γὰρ τοσοῦτον ἀπέχεις ὅσον καὶ ἡ κακία.

Σίμων

ἐγὼ μέν, εἰ οἷόν τε εἶναι, καὶ πλεῖον. ὥστε μὴ δόκει¹ τοῦτο καθάπερ ἀγνοοῦντι ὀνειδίσαι· φημὶ γὰρ κακὸς εἶναι καὶ χείρων ἢ σὺ δοκεῖς.

Σίμων

ὀρθῶς λέγεις, ὦ Τυχιάδη· ἀλλʼ οὐδὲ γὰρ² τούτων οὐδεμιᾶς ἐπιστήμων εἰμί.

Τυχιάδης

τίνος οὖν ἑτέρας;

Σίμων

τίνος; ὡς ἐγὼ οἶμαι, γενναίας· ἣν εἰ μάθοις, καὶ σὲ ἐπαινέσειν οἴομαι. ἔργῳ μὲν οὖν κατορθοῦν φημι ἤδη, εἰ δέ σοι καὶ λόγῳ,³ οὐκ ἔχω εἰπεῖν.

Τυχιάδης

τίνα ταύτην;

Τυχιάδης

ἀλλʼ οὐκ ἀνέξομαι.

Σίμων

τό γε τῆς τέχνης παράδοξον ἴσως φανεῖταί σοι ἀκούσαντι.

Τυχιάδης

καὶ μὴν διὰ τοῦτο σπουδάζω μαθεῖν.

Σίμων

εἰσαῦθις, ὦ Τυχιάδη.

Τυχιάδης

μηδαμῶς, ἀλλʼ ἤδη λέγε, εἰ μή περ ἄρα αἰσχύνῃ.

Σίμων

ἡ παρασιτική.