Lucian, De parasito sive artem esse parasiticam, Henry Watson Fowler (Translator), Francis George Fowler (Translator), 2

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[2]

Tychiades

Why, what sane man would call sponging a profession?

Simon

I, for one. And if you think I am not sane, put down my innocence of other professions to insanity, and let that be my sufficient excuse. My lady Insanity, they say, is unkind to her votaries in most respects; but at least she excuses their offences, which she makes herself responsible for, like a schoolmaster or tutor.

Tychiades

So sponging is an art, eh?

Simon

It is; and I profess it.

Tychiades

So you are a sponger?

Simon

What an awful reproach! Tyé, What! you do not blush to call yourself a sponger?

Simon

On the contrary, I should be ashamed of not calling myself so.

Tychiades

And when we want to distinguish you for the benefit of any one who does not know you, but has occasion to find you out, we must say ‘the sponger,’ naturally?

Simon

The name will be more welcome to me than ‘statuary ” to Phidias; I am as proud of my profession as Phidias of his Zeus.

Tychiades

Ha, ha, ha! Excuse me—just a particular that occurred to me.

Simon

Namely-——?

Tychiades

Think of the address of your letters—Simon the Sponger!

Simon

Simon the Sponger, Dion the Philosopher. I shall like mine as well as he his.

De parasito sive artem esse parasiticam. Lucian. Henry Watson Fowler (Translator), Francis George Fowler (Translator). Medford, MA, USA. 2023-08-01.

Current edition Perseus

The Parasite: a Demonstration that Sponging is a Profession (English) (The Works of Lucian of Samosata, Vol. 3. Fowler, Henry Watson and Fowler, Francis George, translators. Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1905.)

Editions (1)

Περὶ τοῦ Παρασίτου ὅτι Τέχνη ἡ Παρασιτική Perseus (Lucian, Vol. 3. Harmon, Austin Morris, editor. London: William Heinemann, Ltd.; Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1921.) — 2 focus

Τυχιάδης

κᾆτα εἰ μὴ μαίνοιτό τις, ὦ Σίμων, τέχνην ταύτην φαίη ἄν;

Σίμων

ἔγωγε· εἰ δέ σοι μαίνεσθαι δοκῶ, τοῦ μηδεμίαν ἄλλην ἐπίστασθαι τέχνην αἰτίαν εἶναί μοι τὴν μανίαν δόκει καί με τῶν ἐγκλημάτων ἤδη ἀφίει. φασὶ γὰρ τὴν δαίμονα ταύτην τὰ μὲν ἄλλα χαλεπὴν εἶναι τοῖς ἔχουσι, παραιτεῖσθαι δὲ τῶν ἁμαρτημάτων αὐτοὺς ὥσπερ διδάσκαλον ἢ παιδαγωγὸν¹ τούτων ἀναδεχομένην εἰς αὑτὴν τὰς αἰτίας.

Τυχιάδης

οὐκοῦν, ὦ Σίμων, ἡ παρασιτικὴ τέχνη ἐστί;

Σίμων

τέχνη γάρ, κἀγὼ ταύτης δημιουργός.

Τυχιάδης

καὶ σὺ ἄρα παράσιτος;

Σίμων

πάνυ ὠνείδισας, ὦ Τυχιάδη.

Τυχιάδης

ἀλλʼ οὐκ ἐρυθριᾷς παράσιτον σαυτὸν καλῶν;

Σίμων

οὐδαμῶς· αἰσχυνοίμην γὰρ ἄν, εἰ μὴ λέγοιμι.

Τυχιάδης

καὶ νὴ Δία ὁπόταν σε βουλώμεθα γνωρίζειν τῶν οὐκ ἐπισταμένων τῳ, ὅτε χρῄζοι μαθεῖν, ὁ παράσιτος δῆλον ὅτι φήσομεν εὖ λέγοντες;²

Σίμων

πολὺ μᾶλλον τοῦτο λέγοντες ἐμὲ ἢ Φειδίαν ἀγαλματοποιόν· χαίρω γὰρ τῇ τέχνῃ οὐδέν τι ἧττον ἢ Φειδίας ἔχαιρε τῷ Διί.

Τυχιάδης

καὶ μὴν ἐκεῖνό μοι σκοποῦντι προοῖσται γέλως πάμπολυς.

Σίμων

τὸ ποῖον;

Τυχιάδης

εἴ γε καὶ³ ταῖς ἐπιστολαῖς ἄνωθεν ὥσπερ ἔθος ἐπιγράφοιμεν, Σίμωνι παρασίτῳ.

Σίμων

καὶ μὴν ἂν ἐμοὶ μᾶλλον χαρίζοιο ἢ Δίωνι ἐπιγράφων φιλοσόφῳ.

Translations (1)

The Parasite Tychiades Perseus (Lucian, Vol. 3. Harmon, Austin Morris, editor. London: William Heinemann, Ltd.; Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1921.) — 2 focus

[2]

TYCHIADES

Really, would anyone who was not insane call that an art, Simon?

SIMON

I do; and if you think I am insane, think also that my insanity is the reason for my not knowing any other art and acquit me of your charges at once. They say, you know, that this malign spirit, cruel in all else to those whom she inhabits, at least secures them remission of their sins, like a schoolmaster or a tutor, by taking the blame for them upon herself. ~

TYCHIADES

Well then, Simon, Parasitic is an art?

SIMON

Indeed it is, and I am a craftsman in it.¹

TYCHIADES

Then you are a parasite?

SIMON

That was a cruel thrust, Tychiades!

TYCHIADES

But do not you blush to call yourself a parasite?

SIMON

Not at all; I should be ashamed not to speak it out.

TYCHIADES

Then, by Zeus, when we wish to tell about you to someone who does not know you, when he wants to find out about you, of course we shall be correct in referring to you as “the parasite”?

SIMON

Far more correct in referring to me so than in referring to Phidias as a sculptor, for I take quite as much joy in my art as Phidias did in his Zeus.

TYCHIADES

I say, here is a point; as I think of it, a gale of laughter has come over me!

SIMON

What is it?

TYCHIADES

What if we should address you in due form at the top of our letters as “Simon the Parasite”!

SIMON

Why, you would do me greater pleasure than you would Dion by addressing him as “the Philosopher.”²

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Tychiades

Simon

Tychiades

Simon

Tychiades

Simon

Simon

Tychiades

Simon

Tychiades

Simon

Tychiades

Simon

Current edition Perseus

Τυχιάδης κᾆτα εἰ μὴ μαίνοιτό τις, ὦ Σίμων, τέχνην ταύτην φαίη ἄν;

Τυχιάδης οὐκοῦν, ὦ Σίμων, ἡ παρασιτικὴ τέχνη ἐστί;

Σίμων τέχνη γάρ, κἀγὼ ταύτης δημιουργός.

Τυχιάδης καὶ σὺ ἄρα παράσιτος;

Σίμων πάνυ ὠνείδισας, ὦ Τυχιάδη.

Τυχιάδης ἀλλʼ οὐκ ἐρυθριᾷς παράσιτον σαυτὸν καλῶν;

Σίμων οὐδαμῶς· αἰσχυνοίμην γὰρ ἄν, εἰ μὴ λέγοιμι.

Τυχιάδης καὶ νὴ Δία ὁπόταν σε βουλώμεθα γνωρίζειν τῶν οὐκ ἐπισταμένων τῳ, ὅτε χρῄζοι μαθεῖν, ὁ παράσιτος δῆλον ὅτι φήσομεν εὖ λέγοντες; 2

Σίμων πολὺ μᾶλλον τοῦτο λέγοντες ἐμὲ ἢ Φειδίαν ἀγαλματοποιόν· χαίρω γὰρ τῇ τέχνῃ οὐδέν τι ἧττον ἢ Φειδίας ἔχαιρε τῷ Διί.

Τυχιάδης καὶ μὴν ἐκεῖνό μοι σκοποῦντι προοῖσται γέλως πάμπολυς.

Σίμων τὸ ποῖον;

Τυχιάδης εἴ γε καὶ 3 ταῖς ἐπιστολαῖς ἄνωθεν ὥσπερ ἔθος ἐπιγράφοιμεν, Σίμωνι παρασίτῳ.

Σίμων καὶ μὴν ἂν ἐμοὶ μᾶλλον χαρίζοιο ἢ Δίωνι ἐπιγράφων φιλοσόφῳ.

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

TYCHIADES

SIMON

Stable identifiers

Τυχιάδης

κᾆτα εἰ μὴ μαίνοιτό τις, ὦ Σίμων, τέχνην ταύτην φαίη ἄν;

Τυχιάδης

οὐκοῦν, ὦ Σίμων, ἡ παρασιτικὴ τέχνη ἐστί;

Σίμων

τέχνη γάρ, κἀγὼ ταύτης δημιουργός.

Τυχιάδης

καὶ σὺ ἄρα παράσιτος;

Σίμων

πάνυ ὠνείδισας, ὦ Τυχιάδη.

Τυχιάδης

ἀλλʼ οὐκ ἐρυθριᾷς παράσιτον σαυτὸν καλῶν;

Σίμων

οὐδαμῶς· αἰσχυνοίμην γὰρ ἄν, εἰ μὴ λέγοιμι.

Τυχιάδης

καὶ νὴ Δία ὁπόταν σε βουλώμεθα γνωρίζειν τῶν οὐκ ἐπισταμένων τῳ, ὅτε χρῄζοι μαθεῖν, ὁ παράσιτος δῆλον ὅτι φήσομεν εὖ λέγοντες;²

Σίμων

πολὺ μᾶλλον τοῦτο λέγοντες ἐμὲ ἢ Φειδίαν ἀγαλματοποιόν· χαίρω γὰρ τῇ τέχνῃ οὐδέν τι ἧττον ἢ Φειδίας ἔχαιρε τῷ Διί.

Τυχιάδης

καὶ μὴν ἐκεῖνό μοι σκοποῦντι προοῖσται γέλως πάμπολυς.

Σίμων

τὸ ποῖον;

Τυχιάδης

εἴ γε καὶ³ ταῖς ἐπιστολαῖς ἄνωθεν ὥσπερ ἔθος ἐπιγράφοιμεν, Σίμωνι παρασίτῳ.

Σίμων

καὶ μὴν ἂν ἐμοὶ μᾶλλον χαρίζοιο ἢ Δίωνι ἐπιγράφων φιλοσόφῳ.