Line 790

εἴ τε Πατροκλείδης τις ὑμῶν τυγχάνει χεζητιῶν,

The verb χεζητιῶν is a comic coinage derived from χέζω (to defecate) with the suffix -ιῶν, creating a pseudo-technical or bureaucratic verb meaning 'to be engaged in the business of defecating.' This neologism serves as the punchline of a hypothetical scenario where a specific individual, Patrokles, is jokingly presented as an expert in a vulgar activity, satirizing the tendency of the Athenian assembly to elevate trivial or ridiculous matters to the status of serious deliberation.

Birds. Aristophanes. . 2026-09-08.

Current edition Experimental

Commentary (Sanjaya, generated; selected passages) (OCR draft) (English) (Source: pnadelofficial/aristophanes-sanjaya, commit c319590c139e5603e71f0699caa0663d823af8ad. Machine-generated source annotations retained; see Sanjaya import audit for coverage and limitations.)

Provisional text from uncorrected OCR; expect errors.

Editions (1)

Ὄρνιθες Perseus (Aristophanes. Aristophanis Comoediae, Vol. 1. Hall, F. W. and Geldart, William M., editors. Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1906.) — 785 focus

Χορός

οὐδέν ἐστʼ ἄμεινον οὐδʼ ἥδιον ἢ φῦσαι πτερά.
785

αὐτίχʼ ὑμῶν τῶν θεατῶν εἴ τις ἧν ὑπόπτερος,

εἶτα πεινῶν τοῖς χοροῖσι τῶν τραγῳδῶν ἤχθετο,

ἐκπτόμενος ἂν οὗτος ἠρίστησεν ἐλθὼν οἴκαδε,

κᾆτʼ ἂν ἐμπλησθεὶς ἐφʼ ἡμᾶς αὖθις αὖ κατέπτετο.

εἴ τε Πατροκλείδης τις ὑμῶν τυγχάνει χεζητιῶν,
790

οὐκ ἂν ἐξίδισεν ἐς θοἰμάτιον, ἀλλʼ ἀνέπτετο,

κἀποπαρδὼν κἀναπνεύσας αὖθις αὖ κατέπτετο·

εἴ τε μοιχεύων τις ὑμῶν ἐστιν ὅστις τυγχάνει,

κᾆθʼ ὁρᾷ τὸν ἄνδρα τῆς γυναικὸς ἐν βουλευτικῷ,

οὗτος ἂν πάλιν παρʼ ὑμῶν πτερυγίσας ἀνέπτετο,
795

εἶτα βινήσας ἐκεῖθεν αὖθις αὖ κατέπτετο.

ἆρʼ ὑπόπτερον γενέσθαι παντός ἐστιν ἄξιον;

ὡς Διειτρέφης γε πυτιναῖα μόνον ἔχων πτερὰ

ᾑρέθη φύλαρχος, εἶθʼ ἵππαρχος, εἶτʼ ἐξ οὐδενὸς

μεγάλα πράττει κἀστὶ νυνὶ ξουθὸς ἱππαλεκτρυών.
800

Translations (3)

Birds Perseus (Aristophanes. The Complete Greek Drama, Vol. 2. Anonymous, translator. O'Neill, Eugene; Oates, Whitney Jennings, editors. New York: Random House, 1938 (printing).)

No corresponding passage available

Birds (OCR draft) Experimental (Anonymous translation, 1938 compilation; legacy Perseus source migration. Preserved separately from the revised canonical perseus-eng2 at the project owner's request.) — 785 focus

Leader of Second Semi-Chorus

785 There is nothing more useful nor more pleasant than to have wings. To begin with, just let us suppose a spectator to be dying with hunger and to be weary of the choruses of the tragic poets; if he were winged, he would fly off, go home to dine and come back with his stomach filled. 790 Some Patroclides, needing to take a crap, would not have to spill it out on his cloak, but could fly off, satisfy his requirements, let a few farts and, having recovered his breath, return. If one of you, it matters not who, had adulterous relations and saw the husband of his mistress in the seats of the senators, 795 he might stretch his wings, fly to her, and, having laid her, resume his place. Is it not the most priceless gift of all, to be winged? Look at Diitrephes! His wings were only wicker-work ones, and yet he got himself chosen Phylarch and then Hipparch; from being nobody, 800 he has risen to be famous; he's now the finest gilded cock of his tribe.

English (Sanjaya, generated; selected passages) (OCR draft) Experimental (Source: pnadelofficial/aristophanes-sanjaya, commit c319590c139e5603e71f0699caa0663d823af8ad. Machine-generated source annotations retained; see Sanjaya import audit for coverage and limitations.) — 785 focus

Chorus: There is nothing better or sweeter than growing wings.

785

Chorus: Immediately, if any of you spectators had wings,

Chorus: Then, being hungry, he was vexed by the choruses of the tragedies,

Chorus: If he had come home, he would have been struck with terror.

Chorus: And then, having been filled, he would fly back at us again.

Chorus: If any Patrokleides among you happens to be a cheese-grater,

790

Chorus: He would not have gone up into the tunic, but he fluttered upward,

Chorus: and suddenly, and having breathed again, once more he flew down;

Chorus: If any one of you happens to be an adulterer,

Chorus: And then he sees the husband of the woman in a council chamber,

Chorus: This one, fluttering again from among you, would have flown up,

795

Chorus: then, having been driven away from there, he flew back again.

Chorus: Is it worthy for anyone to become winged?

Chorus: As for Dientrephes, having only the wings of a pigeon.

Chorus: He was chosen guard-captain, then cavalry-commander, and then nothing.

Chorus: Great things are being done, and now there is a red-headed cockhorse.

800

Commentary

Commentary (Sanjaya, generated; selected passages) (OCR draft) (Source: pnadelofficial/aristophanes-sanjaya, commit c319590c139e5603e71f0699caa0663d823af8ad. Machine-generated source annotations retained; see Sanjaya import audit for coverage and limitations.) focus

790. mvp-tlg0019-tlg006-sanjaya-com-eng1-48

Line 790

εἴ τε Πατροκλείδης τις ὑμῶν τυγχάνει χεζητιῶν,

Aristophanes Birds 790

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