Servant

Returning from the house.

The girl has quitted the bath; she is charming from head to foot, belly and buttocks too; the cake is baked and they are kneading the sesame-biscuit; 870 nothing is lacking but the bridegroom's tool.

Trygaeus

Let us first hasten to lodge Theoria in the hands of the Senate.

Servant

Tell me, who is this woman?

Trygaeus

Why, it's the same Theoria.

Servant

The one we used to go to Brauron with, to get tipsy and frolic?

Trygaeus

875 You know, I could scarcely get hold of her.

Servant

Ah! you charmer! what pleasure your pretty bottom will afford me every four years!

Trygaeus

To the audience.

Let's see, which one of you is steady enough to be trusted by the Senate with the care of this charming wench? To the Servant. Hi! you, friend! what are you drawing there?

Servant

Who has been making signs in the air.

It's er—well, at the Isthmian Games 880 I shall have a tent for my tool.

Trygaeus

to the audience.

Come, who wishes to take the charge of her? No one? Come, Theoria, I am going to lead you into the midst of the spectators and confide you to their care.

Servant

Ah! there is one who makes a sign to you.

Trygaeus

Who is it?

Servant

It's Ariphrades. He wishes to take her home at once.

Trygaeus

No, he must not. 885 He would soon have her done for, absorbing all her life-force. Come, Theoria, take off all these clothes. Theoria undresses. As soon as she is nude, Trygaeus conducts her to the front row of seats, where the Senators sit.Senate, Prytanes, gaze upon Theoria and see what precious blessings I place in your hands. 890 Hasten to raise its limbs and to immolate the victim. And look at this chimney.

Servant

God, what a beautiful one! It's black with smoke because the Senate used to do its cooking there before the war.

Trygaeus

Now that you have found Theoria again, 895 you can start the most charming games from to-morrow, wrestling with her on the ground, on all fours, or you can lay her on her side, or stand before her with bent knees, or, well rubbed with oil, you can boldly enter the lists, as in the Pancratium, belaboring your foe with blows from your fist or something else. 900 The next day you will celebrate equestrian games, in which the riders will ride side by side, or else the chariot teams, thrown one on top of another, panting and whinnying, will roll and knock against each other on the ground, while other rivals, thrown out of their seats, 905 will fall before reaching the goal, utterly exhausted by their efforts. —Come, Prytanes, take Theoria. Oh! look how graciously yonder fellow has received her; you would not have been in such a hurry to introduce her to the Senate, if nothing were coming to you through it; you would not have failed to plead some holiday as an excuse.