Seneca, Lucius Annaeus, Apocolocyntosis, ed. Michael Heseltine, ed. William Henry Denham Rouse, 7

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Then Hercules said,

You just listen to me, and stop playing the fool. You have come to the place where the mice nibble iron.¹ Out with the truth, and look sharp, or I'll knock your quips and quiddities out of you.

Then to make himself all the more awful, he strikes an attitude and proceeds in his most tragic vein:

"Declare with speed what spot you claim by birth,

Or with this club fall stricken to the earth!

This club hath oft times slaughtered haughty kings!

Why mumble unintelligible things?

What land, what tribe produced that shaking head?

Declare it! On my journey when I sped

Far to the Kingdom of the triple King,

And from the Main Hesperian did bring

The goodly cattle to the Argive town,

There I beheld a mountain looking down

Upon two rivers: this the Sun espies

Right opposite each day he doth arise.

Hence, mighty Rhone, thy rapid torrents flow,

And Arar, much in doubt which way to go,

Ripples along the banks with shallow roll.

Say, is this land the nurse that bred thy soul?"

These lines he delivered with much spirit and a bold front. All the same, he was not quite master of his wits, and had some fear of a blow from the fool.² Claudius, seeing a mighty man before him, forgot his trifling and understood that here he had not quite the same pre-eminence as at Rome, where no one was his equal: the Gallic cock³ was worth most on his own dunghill. So this is what he was thought to say, as far as could be made out:

I did hope, Hercules, bravest of all the gods, that you would take my part with the rest, and if I should need a voucher, that I might name you who know me so well. Do but call it to mind, how it was I used to sit in judgment before your temple whole days together during July and August. You know what miseries I endured there, in hearing the lawyers plead day and night. If you had fallen amongst these, you may think yourself very strong, but you would have found it worse than the sewers of Augeas: I drained out more filth than you did. But since I want. . .

(Some pages have fallen out, in which Hercules must have been persuaded. The gods are now discussing what Hercules tells them).

Apocolocyntosis. Seneca, Lucius Annaeus. ed. Michael Heseltine, ed. William Henry Denham Rouse. London. 1913.

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Funding provided by Tufts University.

Current edition Perseus

Apocolocyntosis (English) (Seneca, Lucius Annaeus. Petronius. Seneca Apocolocyntosis. Heseltine, Michael, editor. Rouse, William Henry Denham, translator. London: William Heinemann; New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1913.)

Editions (1)

Apocolocyntosis Perseus (Seneca, Lucius Annaeus. Petronius. Seneca Apocolocyntosis. Heseltine, Michael, editor. Rouse, William Henry Denham, editor. London: William Heinemann; New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons, 1913.) — 6 focus

[6] nisi fuisset illic Febris, quae fano suo relicto sola cum illo venerat: ceteros omnes deos Romae reliquerat.

Iste

inquit

mera mendacia narrat. Ego tibi dico, quae cum illo tot annis vixi: Luguduni natus est, Marci municipem vides. Quod tibi narro, ad sextum decimum lapidem natus est a Vienna, Gallus germanus. Itaque quod Gallum facere oportebat, Romam cepit. Hunc ego tibi recipio Luguduni natum, ubi Licinus¹ multis annis regnavit. Tu autem, qui plura loca calcasti quam ullus mulio perpetuarius, Lugudunenses scire debes, et² multa milia inter Xanthum et Rhodanum interesse.

Excandescit hoc loco Claudius et quanto potest murmure irascitur. Quid diceret, nemo intellegebat, ille autem Febrim duci iubebat, illo gestu solutae manus et ad hoc unum satis firmae, quo decollare homines solebat, iusserat illi collum praecidi. Putares omnes illius esse libertos: adeo illum nemo curabat. tum Hercules

audi me

inquit

tu desine fatuari. Venisti huc, ubi mures ferrum rodunt. Citiusmihi verum, ne tibi alogias excutiam.

Et quo terribilior esset, tragicus fit et ait:

exprome propere, sede qua genitus cluas,

hoc ne peremptus stipite ad terram accidas;

haec clava reges saepe mactavit feros.

Quid nunc profatu vocis incerto sonas?

Quae patria, quae gens mobile eduxit caput?

Edissere. Equidem regna tergemini petens

longinqua regis, unde ab Hesperio mari

Inachiam ad urbem nobile advexi pecus,

vidi duobus imminens fluviis iugum,

quod Phoebus ortu semper obverso videt,

ubi Rhodanus ingens amne praerapido fluit,

Ararque dubitans, quo suos cursus agat,

tacitus quietis adluit ripas vadis.

Estne illa tellus spiritus altrix tui?"

Haec satis animose et fortiter, nihilo minus mentis suae non est et timet μωροῦ πληγήν. Claudius ut vidit virum valentem, oblitus nugarum intellexit neminem Romae sibi parem fuisse, illic non habere se idem gratiae: gallum in suo sterquilino plurimum posse. Itaque quantum intellegi potuit, haec visus est dicere:

Ego te, fortissime deorum Hercule, speravi mihi adfuturum apud alios, et si qui a me notorem petisset, te fui nominaturus, qui me optime nosti. Nam si memoria repetis, ego eram qui tibi³ ante templum tuum ius dicebam totis diebus mense Iulio et Augusto. Tu scis, quantum illic miseriarum tulerim, cum causidicos audirem diem et noctem, in quos si incidisses, valde fortis licet tibi videaris, maluisses cloacas Augeae purgare: multo plus ego stercoris exhausi. Sed quoniam volo

Notes on the current edition

Apocolocyntosis

1. A proverb, found also in Herondas iii, 76: apparently fairyland, the land of Nowhere.

2. A parody of the phrase, θεοῦ god's blow, or as in Apostolius viii, 89, c, θεοῦ δέ πληγὴν οὐχ ὑπερπηδᾷ βροτόσ (from Menander): no mortal can escape god's blow.

3. Gallum means both Gaul and cock; the proverb plays on his birthplace.

Seneca, Lucius Annaeus Apocolocyntosis 7

ed. Michael Heseltine, ed. William Henry Denham Rouse

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