If you're a stranger to the sex, enquire
Where you may find a mistress to admire.
To learn their haunts my books of love peruse,
515
Where from a swarm of beauties you may choose.
But if my precepts have the least pretence
To truth, and if I speak Apollo's sense,
Tho' Aetna's fires within your bosom glow,
Dissemble, and appear more cold than snow.
520
In spite of torture, still from tears refrain;
Laugh when you have most reason to complain.
Nor do I such severe commands impart,
At once to bid you tear her from your heart:
But counterfeit; you'll prove in the event,
525
That careless lover whom you represent.
Oft when the merry round I would not keep,
I've seem'd to nod, and, seeming, fall'n asleep.
I've laugh'd at him who fool'd away his heart,
Dissembling passion, till he felt the smart.
530
Love comes by use; disuse will love expel;
Learn to feign health, and you will soon be well
If she has bid you come, and fix'd the night,
Tho' sure that she to mock you did invite,
Yet go; and if you find the door fast lock'd,
535
Endure the disappointment; be not shock'd;
Nor curse the gate, nor fond entreaties make,
Nor on the threshold a hard lodging take:
And when you see her next, complaints forbear,
Nor in your looks the least resentment wear.
540
Her pride will stoop, and give your feign'd neglect
What she denied to your sincere respect.
Nor is't enough your mistress thus to cheat,
You on yourself must put the same deceit:
Acquaint not your own thoughts with the design,
545
Till the work's done and you have sprung the mire.
For else 'tis odd, but nature in your heart
Will faction raise, and take your mistress' part.
What you propose will soon effected be,
Your progress sure, if made with secrecy.
550
Conceal your nets; if they are spread in sight,
The bird you meant to take you'll only fright.
Nor suffer her you love, so much to prize
Her charming self, that she may you despise.
Take courage; conscious of your merit seem,
555
And worthy you'll appear of her esteem.
E'en then when you her door wide open spy,
Nay, tho' called in, yet pass regardless by.
She'll offer you her bed; refuse to take
The favour, or a doubtful answer make.
560
Let wisdom once but teach you to abstain
From what you wish, you may your wish obtain.
Perhaps at my severe advice you'll start,
But know, I act a reconciler's part.
Diseases in a thousand forms are rang'd;
565
As tempers vary, med'cines must be chang'd.
Some bodies must a sharp long course endure,
A single drug on others works a cure.
If your soft nature yield to Cupid's stroke,
And strength is wanting to support his yoke,
570
Forbear against the wind and tide to strive;
Slacken your sail, and with the current drive.
For first the raging thirst in which you fry,
Must be assuag'd, ere other means you try:
Drink freely then: nor can you safely trust
575
To satisfaction, drink even to disgust.
1
Visit your mistress, keep her in your sight,
Lock'd up all day, and in your arms all night.
Still sit at board, though appetite decay,
And though you find you could be absent, stay:
580
Indulge desire, till your desires are cloy'd,
And love by too much plenty is destroy'd.
Remedia amoris. P. Ovidius Naso. New York. 1855.
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