M. Tullius Cicero, De Amicitia, William Armistead Falconer (Translator), 89

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[89] But somehow it is true, as put by my intimate friend in his Andria:

Complaisance gets us friends, plain speaking, hate.

¹ A troublesome thing is truth, if it is indeed the source of hate, which poisons friendship; but much more troublesome is complaisance, which, by showing indulgence to the sins of a friend, allows him to be carried headlong away; but the greatest fault is in him who both scornfully rejects truth and is driven by complaisance to ruin.

Therefore, in this entire matter reason and care must be used, first, that advice be free from harshness, and second, that reproof be free from insult. But in showing complaisance—I am glad to adopt Terence’s word, obsequium—let courtesy be at hand, and let flattery, the handmaid of vice, be far removed, as it is unworthy not only of a friend but even of a free man; for we live in one way with a tyrant and in another with a friend.

De Amicitia. M. Tullius Cicero. William Armistead Falconer (Translator). Cambridge. 1923.

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Current edition Perseus

Laelius on Friendship (English) (Cicero. De Senectute, De Amicitia, De Divinatione. Falconer, William Armistead, translator. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press. London: William Heinemann Ltd. 1923 (printing).)

Editions (1)

Laelius De Amicitia Perseus (Cicero, Marcus Tullius. De senectute; De amicitia; De divinatione. Falconer, W. A., editor. Cambridge, MA. Harvard University Press. London. William Heinemann Ltd. 1923.) — 89 focus

[89] sed nescio quo modo verum est, quod in Andria familiaris meus dicit:

obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit.

molesta veritas, siquidem ex ea nascitur odium, quod est venenum amicitiae, sed obsequium multo molestius, quod peccatis indulgens praecipitem amicum ferri sinit; maxima autem culpa in eo, qui et veritatem aspernatur et in fraudem obsequio impellitur.

omni igitur hac in re habenda ratio et diligentia est, primum ut monitio acerbitate, deinde ut obiurgatio contumelia careat. in obsequio autem, quoniam Terentiano verbo lubenter utimur, comitas adsit, assentatio vitiorum adiutrix procul amoveatur, quae non modo amico, sed ne libero quidem digna est; aliter enim cur tyranno, aliter cum amico vivitur.

Notes on the current edition

Laelius on Friendship

1. Terence, Andria, i. 1. 41: obsequium is chiefly used in a good sense, = the desire to oblige, or fall in with another’s taste; but often, as here, it is almost flattery.

M. Tullius Cicero De Amicitia 89

William Armistead Falconer (Translator)

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