T. Maccius Plautus Rudens 4.3

TRACHALIO

Hallo there! stop.

GRIPUS

Why should I stop?

TRACHALIO

While I coil up this rope ¹ for you that you are dragging.

GRIPUS

Now let it alone.

TRACHALIO

Troth, but I’ll assist you. What’s kindly done to worthy men, isn’t thrown away.

GRIPUS

There was a boisterous tempest yesterday; no fish have I, young man; don’t you be supposing I have. Don’t you see that I’m carrying my dripping net without the scaly race?

940

TRACHALIO

I’ faith, I’m not wishing for fish so much as I am in need of your conversation.

GRIPUS

Then, whoever you are, you are worrying me to death with your annoyance.

TRACHALIO

(takes hold of him.)

I’ll not allow you to go away from here; stop.

GRIPUS

Take you care of a mishap, if you please; but why the plague are you dragging me back?

945

TRACHALIO

Listen.

GRIPUS

I won’t listen.

TRACHALIO

But, upon my faith, you shall listen.

GRIPUS

Nay but, another time, tell me what you want.

TRACHALIO

Come now, it’s worth your while at once to hear what I want to tell you.

GRIPUS

Say on, whatever it is.

TRACHALIO

See whether any person is following near us.

(Looks back.)

GRIPUS

Why, what reason is there that it should matter to me?

TRACHALIO

So it is;

but can you give me some good advice?

950

GRIPUS

What’s the business? Only tell me.

TRACHALIO

I’ll tell you; keep silence; if only you’ll give me your word that you won’t prove treacherous to me.

GRIPUS

I do give you my word; I’ll be true to you, whoever you are.

TRACHALIO

Listen. I saw a person commit a theft;

I knew the owner to whom that same property belonged. Afterwards I came myself to the thief, and I made him a proposal in these terms: I know the person on whom that theft was committed; now if you are ready to give me half, I’ll not make a discovery to the owner.

955

He didn’t even give me an answer. What is it fair should be given me out of it? Half, I trust you will say.

960

GRIPUS

Aye, even more; but unless he gives it you, I think it ought to be told to the owner.

TRACHALIO

I’ll act on your advice. Now give me your attention; for it is to yourself all this relates.

GRIPUS

What has been done by me?

TRACHALIO

(pointing at the wallet.)

I’ve known the person for a long time to whom that wallet belongs.

GRIPUS

What do you mean?

TRACHALIO

And in what manner it was lost.

GRIPUS

But I know in what manner it was found;

and I know the person who found it, and who is now the owner. That, I’ faith, is not a bit the more your matter than it is my own. I know the person to whom it now belongs; you, the person to whom it formerly belonged. This shall no individual get away from me; don’t you be expecting to get it in a hurry.

965

TRACHALIO

If the owner comes, shan’t he get it away?

GRIPUS

That you mayn’t be mistaken, no born person is there that’s owner of this but my own self—who took this in my own fishing.

TRACHALIO

Was it really so?

GRIPUS

Which fish in the sea will you say is my own? When I catch them, if indeed I do catch them, they are my own; as my own I keep them. They are not claimed as having a right to freedom ² nor does any person demand a share in them. In the market I sell them all openly as my own wares.

Indeed, the sea is, surely, common to all persons.

975

TRACHALIO

I agree to that; prithee, then, why any the less is it proper that this wallet should be common to me? It was found in the sea.

GRIPUS

Assuredly you are an outrageously impudent fellow; for if this is justice which you are saying, then fishermen would be ruined. Inasmuch as, the moment that the fish were exposed upon the stalls,

no one would buy them; every person would be demanding his own share of the fish for himself; he would be saying that they were caught in the sea that was common to all.

980

TRACHALIO

What do you say, you impudent fellow? Do you dare to compare a wallet with fish? Pray, does it appear to be the same thing?

GRIPUS

The matter doesn’t lie in my power; when I’ve cast my hook and net into the sea, whatever has adhered I draw out.

Whatever my net and hooks have got, that in especial is my own.

985

TRACHALIO

Nay but, I’ faith, it is not; if, indeed, you’ve fished up any article that’s made ³

GRIPUS

Philosopher, you.

TRACHALIO

But look now, you conjurer, did you ever see a fisherman who caught a wallet-fish, or exposed one for sale in the market? But, indeed, you shan’t here be taking possession of all the profits that you choose;

you expect, you dirty fellow, to be both a maker of wallets ⁴ and a fisherman. Either you must show me a fish that is a wallet, or else you shall carry nothing off that wasn’t produced in the sea and has no scales.

990

GRIPUS

What, did you never hear before to-day that a wallet was a fish?

TRACHALIO

Villain, there is no such fish.

GRIPUS

Yes, there certainly is; I, who am a fisherman, know it.

But it is seldom caught; no fish more rarely comes near the land.

995

TRACHALIO

It’s to no purpose; you hope that you can be cheating me, you rogue. Of what colour is it?

GRIPUS

(looking at the wallet.)

Of this colour very few are caught: some are of a purple skin, there are great and black ones also.

TRACHALIO

I understand; by my troth, you’ll be turning into a wallet-fish I fancy, if you don’t take care;

your skin will be purple, and then afterwards black.

1000

GRIPUS

(aside.)

What a villain this that I have met with to-day!

TRACHALIO

We are wasting words; the day wears apace. Consider, please, by whose arbitration do you wish us to proceed?

GRIPUS

By the arbitration of the wallet.

TRACHALIO

Really so, indeed? You are a fool.

GRIPUS

My respects to you, Mister Thales ⁵

(Going.)

TRACHALIO

(holding him.)

You shan’t carry that off this day, unless you find a place of safe keeping for it, or an umpire,

by whose arbitration this matter may be settled.

1005

GRIPUS

Prithee, are you in your senses?

TRACHALIO

I’m mad, in need of hellebore.

GRIPUS

But I’m troubled with sprites; still I shan’t let this go.

(Hugs the wallet.)

TRACHALIO

Only add a single word more, that instant I’ll drive my fists smash into your brains. This instant on this spot, just as a new napkin is wont to be wrung, I’ll wring out of you whatever moisture there is, if you don’t let this go.

(Seizes the wallet.)

GRIPUS

Touch me; I’ll dash you down on the ground just in such fashion as I’m in the habit of doing with a polypus fish ⁶ . Would you like to fight?

1010

(Assumes a boxing attitude.)

TRACHALIO

What need is there? Nay, in preference, divide the booty.

GRIPUS

You can’t get anything from here but harm to yourself, so don’t expect it. I’m taking myself off.

TRACHALIO

But I’ll turn aside your ship from that direction, that you mayn’t be off anywhere—stop.

(Stands in front of him, and holds the rope.)

GRIPUS

If you are the helmsman of this ship, I’ll be the pilot.

Let go of the rope now, you villain.

1015

TRACHALIO

I will let go; do you let go of the wallet.

GRIPUS

I’ faith, you shall never this day become a scrap the more wealthy from this.

TRACHALIO

You cannot convince me by repeatedly denying, unless either a part is given me, or it is referred to arbitration, or it is placed in safe keeping.

GRIPUS

What, that which I got out of the sea—?

TRACHALIO

But I spied it out from the shore.

GRIPUS

—With my own pains and labour, and net and boat.

1020

TRACHALIO

If now the owner, whose property it is, were to come, how am I, who espied from afar that you had taken this, a bit the less the thief than yourself?

GRIPUS

None whatever.

(Going.)

TRACHALIO

(seizing the net.)

Stop, you whip-knave; just let me learn of you by what reasoning I am not the sharer, and yet the thief.

GRIPUS

I don’t know; neither do I know these city laws of yours,

only that I affirm that this is mine.

1025

(Looks at the wallet.)

TRACHALIO

And I, too, say that it is mine.

GRIPUS

Stay now; I’ve discovered by what method you may be neither thief nor sharer.

TRACHALIO

By what method?

GRIPUS

Let me go away from here; you quietly go your own way, and don’t you inform against me to any one, and I won’t give anything to you. You hold your tongue; I’ll be mum. This is the best and the fairest plan.

TRACHALIO

Well, what proposition do you venture to make?

1030

GRIPUS

I’ve made it already; for you to go away, to let go of the rope, and not to be a nuisance to me.

TRACHALIO

Stop while I propose terms.

GRIPUS

I’ faith, do, prithee, dispose ⁷ of yourself forthwith.

TRACHALIO

Do you know any one in these parts?

GRIPUS

My own neighbours I must know.

TRACHALIO

Where do you live here?

GRIPUS

(pointing.)

At a distance out away yonder, as far off as the farthest fields.

TRACHALIO

(pointing to the cottage of DAEMONES.)

The person that lives in that cottage, should you like it to be decided by his arbitration?

1035

GRIPUS

Let go of the rope for a moment while I step aside and consider.

TRACHALIO

Be it so.

(Lets go of the rope.)

GRIPUS

(aside.)

Capital, the thing’s all right; the whole of this booty is my own. He’s inviting me here inside of my own abode to my own master as umpire. By my troth, he never this day will award three obols away from his own servant.

Assuredly, this fellow doesn’t know what proposal he has been making. (To TRACHALIO.) I’ll go to the arbitrator with you.

1040

TRACHALIO

What then?

GRIPUS

Although I know for sure that this is my own lawful right, let that be done rather than I should now be fighting with you.

TRACHALIO

Now you satisfy me.

GRIPUS

Although you are driving me before an arbitrator whom I don’t know, if he shall administer justice, although he is unknown, he is as good as known to me; if he doesn’t, though known, he is the same as though entirely unknown.