Plautus Rudens 5.2

GRIPUS

(calling to the PEOPLE within.)

By the powers, you shall never this day at nightfall behold Gripus alive, unless the wallet is restored to me.

LABRAX

(behind.)

I’m ready to die; when I hear mentior made anywhere of a wallet, I’m thumped, as it were with a stake, upon the breast.

GRIPUS

(at the door, continuing.)

That scoundrel is free; I, the person that held the net in the sea, and drew up the wallet, to him you refuse to give anything.

LABRAX

(behind.)

O ye immortal Gods! by his talk this person has made me prick up my ears.

GRIPUS

(continuing.)

By my troth, in letters a cubit long, I’ll immediately post it up in every quarter,

If any person has lost a wallet with plenty of gold and silver, let him come to Gripus. You shan’t keep it as you are wishing.

1295

LABRAX

(behind.)

I’ faith, this person knows, as I think, who has got the wallet. This person must be accosted by me; ye Gods, aid me, I do entreat you.

(Some one calls GRIPUS, from within.)

GRIPUS

Why are you calling me back in-doors? (He rubs away at the spit.) I want to clean this here before the door.

But surely this, I’ faith, has been made of rust, and not of iron; so that the more I rub it, it becomes quite red and more slender. Why surely this spit has been drugged ¹ ; it does waste away so in my hands.

1300

LABRAX

(accosting him.)

Save you, young man.

GRIPUS

May the Gods prosper you with your shorn pate ² .

LABRAX

What’s going on?

GRIPUS

A spit being cleaned.

LABRAX

How do you do?

GRIPUS

What are you? Prithee, are you a medicant ³ ?

LABRAX

No, I’ faith, I am more than a medicant by one letter.

1305

GRIPUS

Then you are a mendicant.

LABRAX

You’ve hit it to a nicety ⁴ .

GRIPUS

Your appearance seems suitable to it. But what’s the matter with you?

LABRAX

Troth, this last night I was shipwrecked at sea the vessel was cast away, and to my misfortune I lost there everything that I had.

GRIPUS

What did you lose?

LABRAX

A wallet with plenty of gold and silver.

GRIPUS

Do you at all remember what there was in the wallet which was lost?

1310

LABRAX

What matters for us now to be talking of it, if, in spite of it, it’s lost?

GRIPUS

What if I know who has found it? I wish to learn from you the tokens.

LABRAX

Eight hundred golden pieces were there in a purse, besides a hundred Philippean minae in a wash-leather bag apart.

GRIPUS

(aside.)

Troth, it is a noble prize; I shall be getting a handsome reward. The Gods show respect to mortals; therefore I shall come off bounteously rewarded. No doubt, it is this man’s wallet. (To LABRAX.) Do you proceed to relate the rest.

1315

LABRAX

A large talent of silver of full weight was in a purse, besides a bowl, a goblet, a beaker, a boat, and a cup.

GRIPUS

Astonishing! you really did have some splendid riches.

1320

LABRAX

A shocking expression is that, and a most abominable one. You did have, and now have not.

GRIPUS

What would you be ready to give to one who should find these out for you, and give you information? Say, speedily and at once.

LABRAX

Three hundred didrachms.

GRIPUS

Rubbish.

LABRAX

Four hundred.

GRIPUS

Old thrums.

LABRAX

Five hundred.

GRIPUS

A rotten nut.

LABRAX

Six hundred.

1325

GRIPUS

You are prating about mere tiny weevils.

LABRAX

I’ll give seven hundred.

GRIPUS

Your mouth is hot, you are cooling it ⁵ just now.

LABRAX

I’ll give a thousand didrachms.

GRIPUS

You are dreaming.

LABRAX

I add no more;

be off with you.

GRIPUS

Hear me then; if, I’ faith, I should be off from here, I shan’t be here.

LABRAX

⁶ Would you like a hundred as well as the thousand?

GRIPUS

You are asleep.

LABRAX

Say how much you ask.

GRIPUS

That you mayn’t be adding anything against your inclination,

a great talent; it’s not possible for three obols to be bated thence; then do you say either yes or no at once.

1330

LABRAX

(aside.)

What’s to be done here? It’s a matter of necessity, I see: (to GRIPUS) the talent shall be paid.

GRIPUS

(going towards the altar.)

Just step this way; I wish Venus here to put the question to you.

LABRAX

Whatever you please, that command me.

GRIPUS

Touch this altar of Venus.

LABRAX

(touching it.)

I am touching it.

GRIPUS

By Venus here must you swear to me.

LABRAX

What must I swear?

GRIPUS

What I shall bid you.

LABRAX

Dictate in words just as you like. (Aside.) What I’ve got at home, I shall never beg ⁷ of any one else.

1335

GRIPUS

Take hold of this altar.

LABRAX

(taking hold of it.)

I am taking hold of it.

GRIPUS

Swear that you will pay me the money on that same day on which you shall gain possession of the wallet.

LABRAX

Be it so.

GRIPUS

(speaking, while LABRAX repeats after him.)

Venus of Cyrene, I invoke thee as my witness, if I shall find that wallet which I lost in the ship,

safe with the gold and silver, and it shall come into my possession— Then to this Gripus do I promise; say so and place your hand upon me.

1340

LABRAX

Then to this Gripus do I promise, Venus, do thou hear me—

GRIPUS

(followed by LABRAX.)

That I will forthwith give him a great talent of silver."

GRIPUS

If you defraud me, say, may Venus utterly destroy your body, and your existence in your calling. (Aside.) As it is, do you have this for yourself, when you’ve once taken the oath.

1345

LABRAX

If, Venus, I shall do anything amiss against this oath, I supplicate thee that all Procurers may henceforth be wretched.

GRIPUS

(aside.)

As it is, it shall be so, even if you do keep your oath. Do you wait here; (going towards the cottage)—I’ll at once make the old gentleman come out; do you forthwith demand of him that wallet.

1350

(Goes in.)

LABRAX

(to himself.)

If ever so much he shall restore to me this wallet, I’m not this day indebted to him three obols even.

It’s according to my own intention what my tongue swears. (The door opens.) But I’ll hold my peace; see, here he’s coming out, and bringing the old man.

1355