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449
(Enter LYCUS.)
LYCUS
(to himself.)
May all the Gods render him unfortunate, should any Procurer, after this day, ever immolate any victim to Venus, or should any one sacrifice a single grain of frankincense.
For wretched I, this day, have sacrificed to my most wrathful Deities
1
six lambs, and still I could not manage to make Venus to be propitious unto me.
Since I could not appease her, forthwith I departed thence in a passion; I forbade the entrails to be cut, and would not examine them. Inasmuch as the soothsayer pronounced them not propitious, I deemed the Goddess not deserving. By these means I fairly played a trick upon the greedy Venus.
455
When, that which was enough, she would not have to be enough, I made a pause. ’Tis thus I act,
and thus it befits me
to act.
I’ll make the other Gods and Goddesses henceforth more contented, and less greedy, when they know how the Procurer put a trick upon Venus.
460
The soothsayer, in manner right worthy of him, a fellow not worth threepence, said that in all the entrails misfortune and loss were portended to me, and that the Gods were angry with me.
In what matter either divine or human is it right for me to put trust in him? Just after that, a mina of silver was given me. But where, pray, has this Captain stopped just now, who gave it me,
and whom I’ve invited to breakfast?
But look! here he comes.
470
(Enter ANTHEMONIDES.)
May all the Gods render him unfortunate, should any Procurer, after this day, ever immolate any victim to Venus, or should any one sacrifice a single grain of frankincense.
For wretched I, this day, have sacrificed to my most wrathful Deities
1
six lambs, and still I could not manage to make Venus to be propitious unto me.
Since I could not appease her, forthwith I departed thence in a passion; I forbade the entrails to be cut, and would not examine them. Inasmuch as the soothsayer pronounced them not propitious, I deemed the Goddess not deserving. By these means I fairly played a trick upon the greedy Venus.
455
When, that which was enough, she would not have to be enough, I made a pause. ’Tis thus I act,
and thus it befits me
to act.
I’ll make the other Gods and Goddesses henceforth more contented, and less greedy, when they know how the Procurer put a trick upon Venus.
460
The soothsayer, in manner right worthy of him, a fellow not worth threepence, said that in all the entrails misfortune and loss were portended to me, and that the Gods were angry with me.
In what matter either divine or human is it right for me to put trust in him? Just after that, a mina of silver was given me. But where, pray, has this Captain stopped just now, who gave it me,
and whom I’ve invited to breakfast?
But look! here he comes.
470
ANTHEMONIDES
So, as I began to tell you,
you sorry pimp, about that Pentethronic battle
2
, in which, with my own hands, in one day, I slew sixty thousand flying men.
So, as I began to tell you,
you sorry pimp, about that Pentethronic battle
2
, in which, with my own hands, in one day, I slew sixty thousand flying men.
LYCUS
Heyday! Flying men?
Heyday! Flying men?
ANTHEMONIDES
Certainly I do affirm it.
Certainly I do affirm it.
LYCUS
Prithee, are there anywhere men that fly?
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Prithee, are there anywhere men that fly?
475
ANTHEMONIDES
There were; but I slew them.
There were; but I slew them.
LYCUS
How could you?
How could you?
ANTHEMONIDES
I’ll tell you. I gave birdlime and slings to my troops; beneath it they laid leaves of coltsfoot
3
.
I’ll tell you. I gave birdlime and slings to my troops; beneath it they laid leaves of coltsfoot
3
.
LYCUS
For what purpose?
For what purpose?
ANTHEMONIDES
That the birdlime mightn’t adhere to the slings.
That the birdlime mightn’t adhere to the slings.
LYCUS
Proceed.
(Aside.) I faith, you do lie most egregiously.
(Aloud.) What after that?
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Proceed.
(Aside.) I faith, you do lie most egregiously.
(Aloud.) What after that?
480
ANTHEMONIDES
They placed pretty large pellets of birdlime in their slings: with which I ordered them to be taken aim at as they flew. Why many words? Each one did they hit with the birdlime—
they fell to the ground as thick as pears. As each one dropped, I straightway pierced him through the brain with his own feathers, just like a turtle-dove.
484485
They placed pretty large pellets of birdlime in their slings: with which I ordered them to be taken aim at as they flew. Why many words? Each one did they hit with the birdlime—
they fell to the ground as thick as pears. As each one dropped, I straightway pierced him through the brain with his own feathers, just like a turtle-dove.
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LYCUS
By my troth, if ever this did take place, then may Jupiter make me to be ever sacrificing,
and never propitiating him.
By my troth, if ever this did take place, then may Jupiter make me to be ever sacrificing,
and never propitiating him.
ANTHEMONIDES
And don’t you.believe me in this?
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And don’t you.believe me in this?
490
LYCUS
I do believe, in the same degree that it is proper that I should be believed. Come, let’s go in-doors, until the entrails are brought home.
I do believe, in the same degree that it is proper that I should be believed. Come, let’s go in-doors, until the entrails are brought home.
ANTHEMONIDES
I wish to relate to you a single battle more.
I wish to relate to you a single battle more.
LYCUS
I don’t care about it.
I don’t care about it.
ANTHEMONIDES
Do listen.
Do listen.
LYCUS
Upon my faith, no.
Upon my faith, no.
ANTHEMONIDES
Why then I’ll break your head this instant, if you don’t listen,
or else be off to utter perdition!
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Why then I’ll break your head this instant, if you don’t listen,
or else be off to utter perdition!
495
LYCUS
I’d sooner go to utter perdition!
I’d sooner go to utter perdition!
ANTHEMONIDES
Are you determined
then?
Are you determined
then?
LYCUS
Determined.
Determined.
ANTHEMONIDES
In that case, do you, then, upon
this lucky day, the Aphrodisia, make over to me the younger one of your courtesans.
In that case, do you, then, upon
this lucky day, the Aphrodisia, make over to me the younger one of your courtesans.
LYCUS
The sacred ceremony has
by its omens been to me today of such a nature—I put off all serious matters from today until another day.
I am resolved to make it really a holiday.
Now let’s go hence in-doors. Follow me this way.
The sacred ceremony has
by its omens been to me today of such a nature—I put off all serious matters from today until another day.
I am resolved to make it really a holiday.
Now let’s go hence in-doors. Follow me this way.
ANTHEMONIDES
I follow. For this day, then, I’m out on hire to you.
(They go into the house of LYCUS.)
I follow. For this day, then, I’m out on hire to you.
Poenulus. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1913.
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