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(Enter DORIPPA, from the house of LYSIMACHUS.)
DORIPPA
(to herself.)
Syra hasn’t come back, whom, poor wretch, it’s now a long time since I sent to fetch my father; in her very slowness, she has either hardened into a stone, or she has stopped from swelling with the sting of a serpent.
Syra hasn’t come back, whom, poor wretch, it’s now a long time since I sent to fetch my father; in her very slowness, she has either hardened into a stone, or she has stopped from swelling with the sting of a serpent.
SYRA
(apart.)
I’m undone; here’s my mistress, she’s looking after me.
I’m undone; here’s my mistress, she’s looking after me.
DORIPPA
(continuing.)
I cannot remain at home; my eyes cannot abide that pretty young harlot; I would have shut her out of doors, but my son Eutychus prevented me. Still, I shan’t altogether believe the news he brings.
I cannot remain at home; my eyes cannot abide that pretty young harlot; I would have shut her out of doors, but my son Eutychus prevented me. Still, I shan’t altogether believe the news he brings.
LYCISSA
(apart.)
Do you hear, mistress?
Do you hear, mistress?
PERISTRATA
(apart.)
I hear; let her go on.
I hear; let her go on.
LYCISSA
(apart.)
I’ll let her.
I’ll let her.
DORIPPA
(to herself.)
He says that she has come hither to our house for the sake of an old gentleman, a friend; that he has her for sale, so that he may withdraw her from his son, who’s in love with her. This really is a falsehood, either in my husband or my son; the accounts differ. The husband says that she was given him as a deposit; but the son says that she’s on sale.
He says that she has come hither to our house for the sake of an old gentleman, a friend; that he has her for sale, so that he may withdraw her from his son, who’s in love with her. This really is a falsehood, either in my husband or my son; the accounts differ. The husband says that she was given him as a deposit; but the son says that she’s on sale.
SYRA
(apart.)
I’ll go meet her on a sudden, that she mayn’t find out that I’ve been loitering.
I’ll go meet her on a sudden, that she mayn’t find out that I’ve been loitering.
DORIPPA
In this matter I shan’t believe my son, who’s acting in compliance with his father; for, for him, like a regular cuckoo
1
, has he determined to tell abundance of lies: for my own part I shall believe the Cook, in preference. But see, here’s Syra. How the old witch does run. Syra!
In this matter I shan’t believe my son, who’s acting in compliance with his father; for, for him, like a regular cuckoo
1
, has he determined to tell abundance of lies: for my own part I shall believe the Cook, in preference. But see, here’s Syra. How the old witch does run. Syra!
SYRA
Who’s calling me?
(Stares around her.)
Who’s calling me?
DORIPPA
The Gods send a plague upon you!
The Gods send a plague upon you!
SYRA
Mistress, if you are wise, bestow this upon your rival and your husband in preference.
Mistress, if you are wise, bestow this upon your rival and your husband in preference.
DORIPPA
For saying that, I’m no longer angry with you. But where’s your father? Why does he delay? Does gout hinder the man?
For saying that, I’m no longer angry with you. But where’s your father? Why does he delay? Does gout hinder the man?
SYRA
He’s lame with neither gout nor chalk-stones
2
, whom his feet carry into the country.
He’s lame with neither gout nor chalk-stones
2
, whom his feet carry into the country.
DORIPPA
Not at home?
Not at home?
SYRA
No.
No.
DORIPPA
Where then?
Where then?
SYRA
They say he’s in the country, and that it’s uncertain whether he’ll return to-day, he has such a large account with his bailiff.
They say he’s in the country, and that it’s uncertain whether he’ll return to-day, he has such a large account with his bailiff.
DORIPPA
Everything is befalling me this day contrary to my wishes. I shan’t live till the evening, unless I drive that hussy away from the house.
(She turns to the door.) I’m going home.
Everything is befalling me this day contrary to my wishes. I shan’t live till the evening, unless I drive that hussy away from the house.
(She turns to the door.) I’m going home.
LYCISSA
(apart.)
The mistress is going away.
The mistress is going away.
PERISTRATA
(apart.)
What, going away? Call her.
What, going away? Call her.
LYCISSA
(calling.)
Dorippa! Dorippa!
Dorippa! Dorippa!
DORIPPA
(turning round.)
What nuisance is this? Who’s calling me back?
What nuisance is this? Who’s calling me back?
PERISTRATA
I’m not a nuisance, but a well-wisher; and it’s your friend Peristrata addresses you. Prithee, do stay.
I’m not a nuisance, but a well-wisher; and it’s your friend Peristrata addresses you. Prithee, do stay.
DORIPPA
Why, Peristrata—i’ faith, I didn’t know you: dreadful vexation is tormenting and agitating me.
Why, Peristrata—i’ faith, I didn’t know you: dreadful vexation is tormenting and agitating me.
PERISTRATA
This I enquire about—prithee don’t deny me. I heard you just now; tell me what annoyance is troubling you.
This I enquire about—prithee don’t deny me. I heard you just now; tell me what annoyance is troubling you.
DORIPPA
Peristrata, so may the Gods prosper your only son, do kindly lend me your attention; none could be given me more agreably: our ages are alike; together we grew up; we have husbands alike in age; with no one do I converse with greater pleasure. I’m really annoyed with good reason. What now would your feelings be, if at this time of life your husband Demipho were to bring a mistress before your eyes?
Peristrata, so may the Gods prosper your only son, do kindly lend me your attention; none could be given me more agreably: our ages are alike; together we grew up; we have husbands alike in age; with no one do I converse with greater pleasure. I’m really annoyed with good reason. What now would your feelings be, if at this time of life your husband Demipho were to bring a mistress before your eyes?
PERISTRATA
Has he brought one?
Has he brought one?
DORIPPA
So it is.
So it is.
PERISTRATA
She’s at your house?
She’s at your house?
DORIPPA
At my house; aye, and cooks were hired; a banquet was being prepared, if my coming hadn’t upset everything. Venus and Cupid are tormenting the wretched old fellow at an unseasonable time.
At my house; aye, and cooks were hired; a banquet was being prepared, if my coming hadn’t upset everything. Venus and Cupid are tormenting the wretched old fellow at an unseasonable time.
PERISTRATA
But these things are trifles, Dorippa. I wish that I wasn’t more wretched.
But these things are trifles, Dorippa. I wish that I wasn’t more wretched.
DORIPPA
Trifles?
Trifles?
PERISTRATA
Really trifles.
Really trifles.
DORIPPA
What worse could your husband do?
What worse could your husband do?
PERISTRATA
Aye, worse than worse.
Aye, worse than worse.
DORIPPA
What is it? Prithee do say. As you to me, so I to you, let’s give advice to each other what needs to be done, It’s an old saying, that,
he’s truly wise who is wise at the risk of another.
What is it? Prithee do say. As you to me, so I to you, let’s give advice to each other what needs to be done, It’s an old saying, that,
he’s truly wise who is wise at the risk of another.
PERISTRATA
Dorippa, I have an only son; do you know that?
Dorippa, I have an only son; do you know that?
DORIPPA
I do know it.
I do know it.
PERISTRATA
Him his father some time ago packed off from his own house to Rhodes.
Him his father some time ago packed off from his own house to Rhodes.
DORIPPA
For what reason?
For what reason?
PERISTRATA
Because he was in love.
Because he was in love.
DORIPPA
For that very thing?
For that very thing?
PERISTRATA
Yes, and the very same thing now as well—inasmuch as he had brought a female slave here, his father coming to know of it, took her away, and put her up for sale.
Yes, and the very same thing now as well—inasmuch as he had brought a female slave here, his father coming to know of it, took her away, and put her up for sale.
DORIPPA
Aye, aye, I know it; my son told me the truth. I fancied she was the mistress of my husband. To whom was she entrusted?
Aye, aye, I know it; my son told me the truth. I fancied she was the mistress of my husband. To whom was she entrusted?
PERISTRATA
To a certain old gentleman in this neighbourhood, his friend. I think that he has no other friend here except your husband.
To a certain old gentleman in this neighbourhood, his friend. I think that he has no other friend here except your husband.
DORIPPA
(aside.)
It certainly is she.
(To PERISTRATA.)
What does your son?
It certainly is she.
What does your son?
PERISTRATA
He declares that he’ll leave this city.
He declares that he’ll leave this city.
DORIPPA
The matter’s in a safe position. What if he finds her?
The matter’s in a safe position. What if he finds her?
PERISTRATA
I imagine he’ll stay.
I imagine he’ll stay.
DORIPPA
Beyond expectation we are saved; don’t doubt it; she’s at my house.
Beyond expectation we are saved; don’t doubt it; she’s at my house.
PERISTRATA
At your house? It was she, I suppose, about whom I heard you talking just now.
At your house? It was she, I suppose, about whom I heard you talking just now.
DORIPPA
It was she.
It was she.
PERISTRATA
O well done; I love you with reason; you’ve restored me my son. Do let me see her.
O well done; I love you with reason; you’ve restored me my son. Do let me see her.
DORIPPA
Let’s go in-doors then.
Let’s go in-doors then.
PERISTRATA
Let’s go.
(Turning round.) Come here, Lycissa. Do you go tell these things to Acanthio. I’ll go here to Dorippa’s house.
(Exit LYCISSA. DORIPPA, PERISTRATA, and SYRA go into the house of LYSIMACHUS.)
Let’s go.
(Turning round.) Come here, Lycissa. Do you go tell these things to Acanthio. I’ll go here to Dorippa’s house.
Mercator. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1913.
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