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158
(Re-enter the PROCURESS, with PLANESIUM, from the house of CAPPADOX.)
PROCURESS
(to PLANESIUM, while opening the door.)
Come softly out, and prevent the noise of the doors and the creaking of the hinges, my dear Planesium, that our master mayn’t perceive that that is going on which we are doing here.
Stay, I’ll pour a little water
1
on it.
160
(Pours water on the hinges.)
Come softly out, and prevent the noise of the doors and the creaking of the hinges, my dear Planesium, that our master mayn’t perceive that that is going on which we are doing here.
Stay, I’ll pour a little water
1
on it.
160
PALINURUS
(to PHAEDROMUS.)
Do you see how the palsied hag is giving her dose? She herself has learnt right well to drink up the wine; to the door she’s giving water for it to drink.
Do you see how the palsied hag is giving her dose? She herself has learnt right well to drink up the wine; to the door she’s giving water for it to drink.
PLANESIUM
(looking around.)
Where are you—you who have summoned me on the recognizances of Venus
2
? To you do I present myself, and, in the same way do I call on you, on the other hand, to present yourself to me.
Where are you—you who have summoned me on the recognizances of Venus
2
? To you do I present myself, and, in the same way do I call on you, on the other hand, to present yourself to me.
PHAEDROMUS
(stepping forward.)
Here I am; for could I be absent, I wouldn’t repine for any misfortune to befall me, my honey.
Here I am; for could I be absent, I wouldn’t repine for any misfortune to befall me, my honey.
PLANESIUM
My life, it is not becoming for one thus in love to be at a distance.
165
My life, it is not becoming for one thus in love to be at a distance.
165
PHAEDROMUS
Palinurus, Palinurus!
Palinurus, Palinurus!
PALINURUS
Say on; why is it that you call upon Palinurus?
Say on; why is it that you call upon Palinurus?
PHAEDROMUS
(aside.)
She is a charming one.
She is a charming one.
PALINURUS
(aside.)
Aye, too charming.
Aye, too charming.
PHAEDROMUS
I am a God.
I am a God.
PALINURUS
Why, no—a mortal, of no great value.
Why, no—a mortal, of no great value.
PHAEDROMUS
What have you seen, or what will you see, more nearly to be compared with the Gods?
What have you seen, or what will you see, more nearly to be compared with the Gods?
PALINURUS
You are not in your senses, master; a thing that’s grievous to me.
You are not in your senses, master; a thing that’s grievous to me.
PHAEDROMUS
You are not sufficiently respectful to me: hold your tongue.
You are not sufficiently respectful to me: hold your tongue.
PALINURUS
The person that sees
3
the object which he loves, and enjoys not the opportunity while he may, is one who torments his own self.
170
The person that sees
3
the object which he loves, and enjoys not the opportunity while he may, is one who torments his own self.
170
PHAEDROMUS
Rightly does he rebuke me; really there’s nothing which for this long time past I have more eagerly desired.
Rightly does he rebuke me; really there’s nothing which for this long time past I have more eagerly desired.
PLANESIUM
Clasp me, embrace me then.
Clasp me, embrace me then.
PHAEDROMUS
(embracing her.)
This, too, is a reason for which I could wish to live; because your master restrains, you, in secret do I court you.
This, too, is a reason for which I could wish to live; because your master restrains, you, in secret do I court you.
PLANESIUM
Restrain me? He neither can restrain me, nor will he restrain me, unless death should separate my soul from you.
Restrain me? He neither can restrain me, nor will he restrain me, unless death should separate my soul from you.
PHAEDROMUS
Let monarchs keep their kingdoms to themselves, the rich their riches to themselves, to themselves their honors, to themselves their prowess, to themselves their combats, to themselves their battles;
so long as they abstain from envying me, let each one of them keep what is his own.
180
Let monarchs keep their kingdoms to themselves, the rich their riches to themselves, to themselves their honors, to themselves their prowess, to themselves their combats, to themselves their battles;
so long as they abstain from envying me, let each one of them keep what is his own.
180
PALINURUS
(aside.)
Of a truth, I cannot refrain from giving a lecture to my master; for, really, it is good to love in a moderate degree; to distraction, it is not good; but to love to entire distraction, is the thing that my master’s doing.
175
(Aloud.)
What say you, sir? Have you made a vow, Phaedromus, you’d watch the night through for Venus? For really, upon my faith, before very long hence the dawn will be breaking.
Of a truth, I cannot refrain from giving a lecture to my master; for, really, it is good to love in a moderate degree; to distraction, it is not good; but to love to entire distraction, is the thing that my master’s doing.
175
What say you, sir? Have you made a vow, Phaedromus, you’d watch the night through for Venus? For really, upon my faith, before very long hence the dawn will be breaking.
PHAEDROMUS
Do hold your tongue.
Do hold your tongue.
PALINURUS
Why hold my tongue? What, are you going to sleep?
Why hold my tongue? What, are you going to sleep?
PHAEDROMUS
I am asleep; don’t you make a noise.
I am asleep; don’t you make a noise.
PALINURUS
Why, but you’re broad awake.
Why, but you’re broad awake.
PHAEDROMUS
Aye, but after my own fashion I’m asleep; this is my slumber.
Aye, but after my own fashion I’m asleep; this is my slumber.
PALINURUS
(to PLANESIUM.)
A word with you, madam; ’tis thoughtlessness to treat amiss one who deserves it not.
185
A word with you, madam; ’tis thoughtlessness to treat amiss one who deserves it not.
185
PLANESIUM
You would be angry, if, when you are eating, he were to drive you away
4
from your food.
You would be angry, if, when you are eating, he were to drive you away
4
from your food.
PALINURUS
(aside.)
It’s all over with him. I see that these two are equally in love to distraction; and both of them are mad. D’ye see how intensely they hug each other? They cannot embrace enough.
(Addressing them.) Are you going to part yet?
It’s all over with him. I see that these two are equally in love to distraction; and both of them are mad. D’ye see how intensely they hug each other? They cannot embrace enough.
(Addressing them.) Are you going to part yet?
PLANESIUM
No human being has blessings that last
5
for ever. To this pleasure, then, is that plague added.
No human being has blessings that last
5
for ever. To this pleasure, then, is that plague added.
PALINURUS
PHAEDROMUS
What, you abusing my own Venus? And really, is a slave well trounced with the rod to be commencing a discussion with myself? But, by the powers, you’ve surely said that to your own misfortune.
(Strikes him.)
There, take that, by way of punishment for this abusive language, that you may be able to put a check upon your speech.
195
What, you abusing my own Venus? And really, is a slave well trounced with the rod to be commencing a discussion with myself? But, by the powers, you’ve surely said that to your own misfortune.
There, take that, by way of punishment for this abusive language, that you may be able to put a check upon your speech.
195
PALINURUS
(to PLANESIUM.)
Your aid, I pray, you night-watching Venus.
Your aid, I pray, you night-watching Venus.
PHAEDROMUS
What, do you still persist, whip-scoundrel?
(Strikes hint.)
What, do you still persist, whip-scoundrel?
(Strikes hint.)
PLANESIUM
Don’t, there’s a dear, be beating a stone, lest you should hurt your hand.
Don’t, there’s a dear, be beating a stone, lest you should hurt your hand.
PALINURUS
You perpetrate, Phaedromus, a flagitious and a shameful deed of great enormity; one who directs you aright, you pummel with your fists; her you are in love with, a mere nonentity.
Is it right that you should behave yourself in this unreasonable manner?
200
You perpetrate, Phaedromus, a flagitious and a shameful deed of great enormity; one who directs you aright, you pummel with your fists; her you are in love with, a mere nonentity.
Is it right that you should behave yourself in this unreasonable manner?
200
PHAEDROMUS
Find me a reasonable lover against his weight in gold; here, take the gold of me.
(Holds out his purse.)
Find me a reasonable lover against his weight in gold; here, take the gold of me.
PALINURUS
Do you find me a person for me to serve in his sound senses against his weight in double-distilled gold.
Do you find me a person for me to serve in his sound senses against his weight in double-distilled gold.
PLANESIUM
Kindly fare you well, apple of my eye, for I hear the sound and creaking of doors; I think the keeper
9
is opening the temple. But, prithee, in this same manner
shall we always enjoy our love by stealth?
205
Kindly fare you well, apple of my eye, for I hear the sound and creaking of doors; I think the keeper
9
is opening the temple. But, prithee, in this same manner
shall we always enjoy our love by stealth?
205
PHAEDROMUS
Far from it; for I sent my Parasite four days since to Caria to fetch some money; he’ll be here to-day.
Far from it; for I sent my Parasite four days since to Caria to fetch some money; he’ll be here to-day.
PLANESIUM
You are very long in your contriving.
You are very long in your contriving.
PHAEDROMUS
So may Venus love me, I’ll never allow you to be three days in this house here, before I procure your liberty.
So may Venus love me, I’ll never allow you to be three days in this house here, before I procure your liberty.
PLANESIUM
Take care to remember it. Once more, before I go hence, take this kiss.
210
(Kisses him.)
Take care to remember it. Once more, before I go hence, take this kiss.
210
PHAEDROMUS
By heavens, really if a kingdom now were offered me, I should not obtain it with greater pleasure. When shall I see you again?
By heavens, really if a kingdom now were offered me, I should not obtain it with greater pleasure. When shall I see you again?
PLANESIUM
Why now, for that expression get ready the Praetor’s rod
10
; if you love me, purchase my freedom; don’t make any haggling. Take care to prevail with your offer. Kindly adieu!
(Goes into the house of the PROCURER.)
Why now, for that expression get ready the Praetor’s rod
10
; if you love me, purchase my freedom; don’t make any haggling. Take care to prevail with your offer. Kindly adieu!
(Goes into the house of the PROCURER.)
PHAEDROMUS
And am I then left behind? Palinurus, I’m Lilled outright.
And am I then left behind? Palinurus, I’m Lilled outright.
PALINURUS
And I as well, who am dying with thumps and sleepiness.
215
And I as well, who am dying with thumps and sleepiness.
215
PHAEDROMUS
Do you follow me.
(They go into the house of PHAEDROMUS.)
Do you follow me.
Curculio. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1912.
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