T. Maccius Plautus Aulularia 3.6

EUCLIO

With very great pleasure have I listened to your discourse.

MEGADORUS

Did you hear me?

EUCLIO

Everything from the very beginning.

MEGADORUS

(eyeing him from head to foot.)

Still, in my way of thinking indeed, you would be acting a little more becomingly

if you were more tidy at the wedding of your daughter.

540

EUCLIO

Those who have display according to their circumstances and splendour according to their means ¹ , remember themselves, from whence they are sprung; neither by myself, Megadorus, nor by any poor man, are better circumstances enjoyed than appearances warrant.

MEGADORUS

Surely they are; and may the Gods, I hope, make them so to be, and more and more may they prosper that which you now possess.

545

EUCLIO

(aside.)

That expression don’t please me, which you now possess. He knows that I’ve got this, as well as I do myself: the old woman has discovered it to him.

MEGADORUS

Why do you separate yourself thus alone, apart from the Senate ² ?

EUCLIO

Troth, I was considering whether I should accuse you deservedly.

550

MEGADORUS

What’s the matter?

EUCLIO

Do you ask me what’s the matter? You who have filled every corner in my house, for wretched me, with thieves? You who have introduced into my dwelling five hundred cooks, with six hands a-piece, of the race of Geryon ³ ,

whom were Argus to watch, who was eyes all over, that Juno once set as a spy upon Jupiter, he never could watch them; a music-girl besides, who could alone drink up for me the Corinthian fountain of Pirene ⁴ , if it were flowing with wine?

555

And then as to provisions—

560

MEGADORUS

Troth, there’s enough for a procurer ⁵ even. I sent as much as a lamb.

EUCLIO

Than which lamb, I, indeed, know right well that there is nowhere a more curious ⁶ beast existing.

MEGADORUS

I wish to know of you why is this lamb curious?

EUCLIO

Because it’s all skin and bone, so lean is it with care;

why, even when alive, by the light of the sun you may look at its entrails; it’s just as transparent as a Punic lantern ⁷ .

565

MEGADORUS

I bought it to be killed.

EUCLIO

Then it’s best that you likewise should bargain for ⁸ it to be carried out for burial; for I believe it’s dead by this time.

MEGADORUS

Euclio, I wish this day to have a drinking with you.

EUCLIO

By my troth, I really must not drink.

570

MEGADORUS

But I’ll order one cask of old wine to be brought from my house.

EUCLIO

I’ faith, I won’t have it; for I’ve determined to drink water.

MEGADORUS

I’ll have you well drenched this day, if I live, you who have determined to drink water.

EUCLIO

(aside.)

I know what plan he’s upon;

he’s aiming at this method, to overcome me with wine, and after that, to change the settlement ⁹ of what I possess: I’ll take care of that, for I’ll hide it somewhere out of doors. I’ll make him lose his wine and his trouble together.

575

MEGADORUS

Unless you want me for anything, I’m going to bathe, that I may sacrifice.

(He goes into his house.)

EUCLIO

By my faith, you pot (taking it from under his cloak), you surely have many enemies, and that gold as well which is entrusted to you! Now this is the best thing to be done by me, to take you away, my pot, to the Temple of Faith ¹⁰ , where I’ll hide you carefully. Faith, thou dost know me, and I thee; please, do have a care

580

not to change thy name against me, if I entrust this to thee. Faith, I’ll come to thee, relying on thy fidelity.

585

(He goes into the Temple of faith.)