LEONIDA
(to himself.)
What’s this to do here? Not a person bares a bit about my orders! How did I order Libanus to come to the barber’s shop, and he didn’t come at all. I’ faith, for sure he hasn’t consulted well for his back and his legs.
THE ASS-DEALER
(to himself.)
This is a very overbearing fellow.
410
LIBANUS
(to the ASS-DEALER.)
Woe to me this day!
LEONIDA
I bid welcome to Libanus, the freed-man! Are you set at liberty now?
LIBANUS
I do implore you.
LEONIDA
In good sooth, to your great misfortune surely have you fallen in my way. Why didn’t you come to the barber’s shop, as I ordered you?
LIBANUS
(pointing to the ASS-DEALER.)
This person detained me.
LEONIDA
I’ faith, if in fact you were now to say that supreme Jove had detained you,
and he were present to sue for you, you shouldn’t escape the evil consequences. Whip-knave, did you disobey my orders?
415
(Offers to strike him.)
LIBANUS
(to the ASS-DEALER.)
Stranger, I’m done for.
THE ASS-DEALER
Prithee, Saurea, for my sake, don’t beat him.
LEONIDA
I wish, now, I had a whip in my hand—
THE ASS-DEALER
Prithee, do be appeased.
LEONIDA
—With which to lash your sides, which have grown callous with blows.
(To the ASS-DEALER, who interposes.)
Stand off this way; let me be the death of this fellow who is continually inflaming me with anger—a thief to whom I can never once enjoin a single thing, but that I must command the same things a hundred times, and din them in his ears
1
. For that reason, now, by my troth, what with bawling and passion, I cannot endure the labour. Have you, you rascal,
(pointing) ordered this dirt to be removed hence from the door?
420
Have you ordered the labours of the spiders to be swept down from the pillars? Have you ordered those bosses on our door
2
to be brought to brightness? It’s of no use; I must walk about with a stick, as though I were a lame man. Because only for these single three days I have been giving my constant attendance at the Forum, in order to find some one who requires money upon interest, here,
425
in the meantime, are you sleeping at home, and my master is living in a pigstye, not in a house.
(He strikes LIBANUS.) There now, take you that.
430
LIBANUS
(to the ASS-DEALER.)
Prithee, stranger, do take my part.
THE ASS-DEALER
Saurea, for my sake, I entreat you, do let him go.
LEONIDA
Hark you! has any one paid for the carriage of that olive oil?
LIBANUS
He has paid.
LEONIDA
To whom was it given?
LIBANUS
To Stichus himself, your deputy.
LEONIDA
Tut! you’re trying to mollify me
3
. I know that he is my deputy,
and that there isn’t a servant in the house who is more valuable to his master than he is. But the wines that I sold yesterday to Exaerambus, the wine merchant, has he yet paid Stichus for them?
435
LIBANUS
I think he has, in full; for I saw Exaerambus himself bringing hither his banker.
LEONIDA
On such terms would I always deal
4
; before, what I’ve trusted, I’ve hardly been paid within a year after.
Now he’s quite in a hurry; even of his own accord he brings him to the house, and writes a transfer of the money
5
. Has Dromo paid down the wages agreed upon?
440
LIBANUS
Less than half, I think.
LEONIDA
What about the remainder?
LIBANUS
He said that he would pay it directly it was paid
6
to him; for it was retained until he had finished the work that was agreed on to be done by him.
LEONIDA
The cups that I lent to Philodamus, has he brought them back?
LIBANUS
Not yet.
445
LEONIDA
What, not yet? If you wish to make a present
7
, lend to a person that is a friend—
THE ASS-DEALER
(aside.)
I’ faith, I’m quite undone; he’ll be just now driving me away with his ill-temper.
LIBANUS
(in a low voice to LEONIDA.)
Hallo! you, enough now. Do you hear what he’s saying?
LEONIDA
(in the same way to LIBANUS.)
I hear, and I’ll have done.
THE ASS-DEALER
(aside.)
At last, I think, he has done: now it’s best to accost him before he commences again to prate.
(To LEONIDA.) How soon, sir, will you give me your attention?
LEONIDA
Oh, by all means—have you been here any time?
Troth, I didn’t observe you; pray, don’t lay it to my charge: anger has so blinded my eyesight.
450
THE ASS-DEALER
’Tisn’t to be wondered at. But if he’s at home, I was wanting Demaenetus.
LEONIDA
Libanus says that he isn’t within. But still, if you like to pay that money over to me, I’ll give you an acquittance that the account is discharged as to that item.
THE ASS-DEALER
This way rather, for me to pay you in the presence of your master, Demaenetus.
455
LIBANUS
My master knows him, and he my master.
THE ASS-DEALER
In his master’s presence, I’ll pay him.
LIBANUS
At my peril, so you only pay him, I’ll engage the matter’s safe. For if our old gentleman were to know that confidence wasn’t placed in him, to whom he himself always entrusts the management of all matters, he would be angry.
LEONIDA
I don’t much care; don’t let him not pay it, if he don’t like; so let him stand here.
460
LIBANUS
Give it him, I say. Oh dear, I’m sadly afraid that he’ll be thinking that I’ve persuaded you not to trust him; prithee, do give it and don’t be afraid. Upon my word, it will be safe.
THE ASS-DEALER
I think it will be—so long, indeed, as I myself keep it in my hand. I’m a stranger; I don’t know Saurea.
LIBANUS
Well, know him now then.
THE ASS-DEALER
It may be he, it may not be he; i’ faith, I know not; if it’s he, why then it must be he. I know for sure that I shall give this up to no person that I don’t know.
465
LEONIDA
(aside.)
Troth now, may all the Gods confound the fellow.
(Aloud to LIBANUS.) Take care you don’t entreat him with a word. He’s arrogant, because he’s fingering my twenty minae. No one will take it.
(To the ASS-DEALER.) Take yourself off home, be off from here, and don’t be troublesome.
THE ASS-DEALER
You are in too angry mood: it isn’t right for a person who is a slave to give himself airs.
470
LIBANUS
By my faith, to your own great misfortune now are you talking uncivilly to him.
Dirty, worthless fellow, don’t you see he’s angry?
LEONIDA
(to the ASS-DEALER.)
Be off then.
LIBANUS
(to the ASS-DEALER.)
Scoundrelly fellow.
(Aside to him.) Prithee, do give him the money lest he should abuse you.
THE ASS-DEALER
On my word, you are seeking evil for yourselves.
LEONIDA
(to LIBANUS.)
By the powers, your legs shall be broken
8
,
if you don’t proclaim this shameless fellow.
475
LIBANUS
Troth, I’m undone. Be off, you shameless fellow.
LEONIDA
You rascal.
LIBANUS
(to the ASS-DEALER.)
Won’t you venture to assist me, you rascal?
LEONIDA
Do you persist in soliciting the scamp?
THE ASS-DEALER
How’s this?
(To LEONIDA.) Do you, rascal, who are a slave, speak abusively to a free man?
LEONIDA
Give him a beating.
THE ASS-DEALER
By my faith, that surely shall befall yourself to get a beating as soon as ever I shall see Demaenetus this day.
I summon you to judgments
9
.
480
LEONIDA
I shan’t go.
THE ASS-DEALER
You won’t go? Remember—
LEONIDA
I do remember.
THE ASS-DEALER
I’ faith, I’ll have satisfaction out of your back.
LEONIDA
Woe unto you? What, villain—satisfaction to be given by us to you indeed?
THE ASS-DEALER
Aye, and even this very day satisfaction shall be given me for your abusive language.
LEONIDA
How now, whip-knave? How say you, hang-dog? Do you suppose that we shall run away from our master? Go this instant then to our master, where you were citing us just now, and where you were wishing to go.
484485
THE ASS-DEALER
What, now at last? Still, you shall never get a coin of money away from me, unless Demaenetus shall order me to give it.
LEONIDA
Do so. Come, move on then. Are you to offer insults to another person, and are they not to be repeated to yourself?
I’m a man as much as you are.
490
THE ASS-DEALER
No doubt such is the fact.
LEONIDA
THE ASS-DEALER
Perhaps so: but still, you shall never this day persuade me to entrust to you, whom I don’t know, this money.
A man to a man is a wolf
11
, not a man, when the other doesn’t know of what character he is.
495
LEONIDA
Now at last you are appeasing me
12
: I was sure that this day you would give satisfaction to this poor head of mine; although I’m in mean garb, still, I’m well to do, nor can an estimate of my means be formed from it.
THE ASS-DEALER
Perhaps so.
LEONIDA
Still more then I tell you: Periphanes, a merchant of
Rhodes
, a rich man,
in the absence of my master, himself alone paid over to me, in private, a talent of silver, and trusted me, nor was he deceived in it.
500
THE ASS-DEALER
Perhaps so.
LEONIDA
And you, too, yourself, as well, if you had enquired about me of other people, would, i’ faith, I’m quite sure, have entrusted to me what you now have with you.
THE ASS-DEALER
I don’t deny it.
(Exeunt.)
Asinaria. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1912.
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