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(Enter DEMAENETUS and LIBANUS, from the house of the former.)
LIBANUS
As you desire your own only son to survive your own existence, prosperous, and living on; so by your lengthened years, and by that wife of yours of whom you stand in awe,
do I conjure you, that if this day you have said anything that’s false against myself, your wife may then survive your own existence, and that, she living, you, still alive, may come to utter destruction
1
.
20
As you desire your own only son to survive your own existence, prosperous, and living on; so by your lengthened years, and by that wife of yours of whom you stand in awe,
do I conjure you, that if this day you have said anything that’s false against myself, your wife may then survive your own existence, and that, she living, you, still alive, may come to utter destruction
1
.
20
DEMAENETUS
By the Gods above
2
as to what you seek to know, I see that I must, perforce, speak out, whatever you question me upon, being thus conjured;
so determinedly have you accosted me, that I really do not dare otherwise than to disclose everything to you making all these enquiries. Say then at once what it is that you desire so much to know; as I myself shall know, so will I let you know.
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By the Gods above
2
as to what you seek to know, I see that I must, perforce, speak out, whatever you question me upon, being thus conjured;
so determinedly have you accosted me, that I really do not dare otherwise than to disclose everything to you making all these enquiries. Say then at once what it is that you desire so much to know; as I myself shall know, so will I let you know.
25
LIBANUS
Troth now, prithee answer me seriously what I ask you;
take care that you tell me no falsehood.
30
Troth now, prithee answer me seriously what I ask you;
take care that you tell me no falsehood.
30
DEMAENETUS
Why, then, don’t you ask?
Why, then, don’t you ask?
LIBANUS
Will you, then, be sending me there, where stone grinds stone
3
?
Will you, then, be sending me there, where stone grinds stone
3
?
DEMAENETUS
What place is that? Or where in the world is that place?
What place is that? Or where in the world is that place?
LIBANUS
Where worthless men are weeping, who breakfast upon pearled barley
4
.
Where worthless men are weeping, who breakfast upon pearled barley
4
.
DEMAENETUS
What that place is, or where it is, I cannot understand, where worthless men are weeping, who breakfast upon pearled barley.
What that place is, or where it is, I cannot understand, where worthless men are weeping, who breakfast upon pearled barley.
LIBANUS
Why, in the islands of club-land and rattle- chains
5
,
where dead oxen attack living men.
35
Why, in the islands of club-land and rattle- chains
5
,
where dead oxen attack living men.
35
DEMAENETUS
I’ faith, I now understand, Libanus, what place it is; that perhaps you mean, where the pearled barley is prepared.
I’ faith, I now understand, Libanus, what place it is; that perhaps you mean, where the pearled barley is prepared.
LIBANUS
O dear: I’m not speaking of that, i’ faith, nor do I wish to speak of it. Troth now, prithee, do spit out
6
the words that you have spoken.
O dear: I’m not speaking of that, i’ faith, nor do I wish to speak of it. Troth now, prithee, do spit out
6
the words that you have spoken.
DEMAENETUS
Be it so; you shall be indulged.
40
(He coughs and spits.)
Be it so; you shall be indulged.
40
LIBANUS
Come, come—hawk away.
Come, come—hawk away.
DEMAENETUS
What, still more?
(Spits on.)
What, still more?
LIBANUS
Troth now; prithee, do go on—still more.
Troth now; prithee, do go on—still more.
DEMAENETUS
7
What—from the very bottom of my throat?
(Spits.)
7
What—from the very bottom of my throat?
LIBANUS
Even more still.
Even more still.
DEMAENETUS
Why, how long?
(Spits.)
Why, how long?
LIBANUS
I want you, even to the death—
I want you, even to the death—
DEMAENETUS
Take you care of a woful mishap, if you please.
Take you care of a woful mishap, if you please.
LIBANUS
Of your wife, I mean, not of yourself.
Of your wife, I mean, not of yourself.
DEMAENETUS
For that speech, I give you leave to be free from apprehension.
4445
For that speech, I give you leave to be free from apprehension.
4445
LIBANUS
May the Gods grant you whatever you desire.
May the Gods grant you whatever you desire.
DEMAENETUS
In return, give me your attention. Why should I ask this of you? Or why should I threaten you, because you have not made me acquainted with it? Or why, in fine, should I censure my son
as other fathers do?
50
In return, give me your attention. Why should I ask this of you? Or why should I threaten you, because you have not made me acquainted with it? Or why, in fine, should I censure my son
as other fathers do?
50
LIBANUS
What new affair is this?
(Aside.) I wonder much what it is, and I’m in dread what the upshot of it may be.
What new affair is this?
(Aside.) I wonder much what it is, and I’m in dread what the upshot of it may be.
DEMAENETUS
In fact, I’m now aware that my son’s in love with that Courtesan Philenium, that lives close by. Is not this as I say, Libanus?
In fact, I’m now aware that my son’s in love with that Courtesan Philenium, that lives close by. Is not this as I say, Libanus?
LIBANUS
You are upon the right track; such is the fact. But a dreadful malady has overtaken him.
You are upon the right track; such is the fact. But a dreadful malady has overtaken him.
DEMAENETUS
What is the malady?
What is the malady?
LIBANUS
Why, that his presents don’t equal his promises.
Why, that his presents don’t equal his promises.
DEMAENETUS
Are you, then, one who assists my son in his amours?
Are you, then, one who assists my son in his amours?
LIBANUS
I really am, and our Leonida is another.
I really am, and our Leonida is another.
DEMAENETUS
I’ faith, you do kindly, and you gain thanks from me. But this wife of mine, Libanus, don’t you know what sort of a person she is?
I’ faith, you do kindly, and you gain thanks from me. But this wife of mine, Libanus, don’t you know what sort of a person she is?
LIBANUS
You are the first to experience it, but we give a guess beforehand.
You are the first to experience it, but we give a guess beforehand.
DEMAENETUS
I confess that she is troublesome and not to be pleased.
I confess that she is troublesome and not to be pleased.
LIBANUS
You say that later than I believed you in it.
You say that later than I believed you in it.
DEMAENETUS
All parents, Libanus, who listen to me, will show indulgence to their children,
inasmuch as they will find their sons more kindly disposed and more affectionate; and that do I desire to do myself. I wish to be loved by mine; I wish myself to be like my father, who, for my sake, himself in the disguise of a ship-master, carried off from a procurer a female with whom I was in love;
nor was he ashamed, at that time of life, to devise stratagems, and to purchase with good turns me, his son, for himself. These ways of my father have I resolved to imitate. For to-day my son Argyrippus has entreated me
to give him a supply of money for his amours; and I very much wish in that to oblige my son. I wish to forward his amours; I wish him to be fond of myself, his father. Although his mother keeps him strictly, and with a tight rein, as fathers have been in the habit of doing, all that I dismiss.
75
Especially as he has deemed me deserving, for him to entrust it to ire, I ought to pay all due regard to his feelings. Inasmuch as he has applied to me, as it is right that a respectful son should do, I wish him to have some money for him to give to his mistress
80
All parents, Libanus, who listen to me, will show indulgence to their children,
inasmuch as they will find their sons more kindly disposed and more affectionate; and that do I desire to do myself. I wish to be loved by mine; I wish myself to be like my father, who, for my sake, himself in the disguise of a ship-master, carried off from a procurer a female with whom I was in love;
nor was he ashamed, at that time of life, to devise stratagems, and to purchase with good turns me, his son, for himself. These ways of my father have I resolved to imitate. For to-day my son Argyrippus has entreated me
to give him a supply of money for his amours; and I very much wish in that to oblige my son. I wish to forward his amours; I wish him to be fond of myself, his father. Although his mother keeps him strictly, and with a tight rein, as fathers have been in the habit of doing, all that I dismiss.
75
Especially as he has deemed me deserving, for him to entrust it to ire, I ought to pay all due regard to his feelings. Inasmuch as he has applied to me, as it is right that a respectful son should do, I wish him to have some money for him to give to his mistress
80
LIBANUS
You are desiring that which I find you are do siring to no purpose.
Your wife brought her servant Saurea with her on her marriage
8
, who has more in his control than you have.
85
You are desiring that which I find you are do siring to no purpose.
Your wife brought her servant Saurea with her on her marriage
8
, who has more in his control than you have.
85
DEMAENETUS
I received money with her, and for the portion I sold my authority. Now I’ll compress into a few words what I want of you; my son is now in need of twenty silver minae:
do you manage that it may be forthwith found for him.
90
I received money with her, and for the portion I sold my authority. Now I’ll compress into a few words what I want of you; my son is now in need of twenty silver minae:
do you manage that it may be forthwith found for him.
90
LIBANUS
From what place in the world?
From what place in the world?
DEMAENETUS
Cheat me of them.
Cheat me of them.
LIBANUS
You are talking downright nonsense. You are bidding me take the clothes from off a naked man. I, cheat you?—come now, fly you without wings, please. What, am I to cheat you who have nothing in your power for your own self?
Unless you have first cheated your wife out of something.
95
You are talking downright nonsense. You are bidding me take the clothes from off a naked man. I, cheat you?—come now, fly you without wings, please. What, am I to cheat you who have nothing in your power for your own self?
Unless you have first cheated your wife out of something.
95
DEMAENETUS
Impose upon or rob myself in any way you can, my wife in any way, my servant Saurea in any way. I promise you that it shall not prove to your detriment, if you effect it to-day.
Impose upon or rob myself in any way you can, my wife in any way, my servant Saurea in any way. I promise you that it shall not prove to your detriment, if you effect it to-day.
LIBANUS
On the same principle you might bid me to fish in the air,
and to hunt with a javelin in the midst of the sea.
100
On the same principle you might bid me to fish in the air,
and to hunt with a javelin in the midst of the sea.
100
DEMAENETUS
Take Leonida as your coadjutor
9
; devise some plan or other, think of some expedient: bring it about that my son this day gets some money to give his mistress.
Take Leonida as your coadjutor
9
; devise some plan or other, think of some expedient: bring it about that my son this day gets some money to give his mistress.
LIBANUS
What say you, Demaenetus
if the foe should intercept me, will you ransom me?
What say you, Demaenetus
if the foe should intercept me, will you ransom me?
DEMAENETUS
I will ransom you.
I will ransom you.
LIBANUS
Then do you attend to something else, whatever you please.
Then do you attend to something else, whatever you please.
DEMAENETUS
I’m off to the Forum, unless you wish for anything.
I’m off to the Forum, unless you wish for anything.
LIBANUS
Be off—why are you not walking
10
?
Be off—why are you not walking
10
?
DEMAENETUS
And do you hear, too—?
And do you hear, too—?
LIBANUS
Well now.
Well now.
DEMAENETUS
If I want you for anything, where will you be?
If I want you for anything, where will you be?
LIBANUS
Wherever it shall be agreable to my feelings. Really, there’s not a person that I shall stand in dread of from this time forward, for fear he might be able to do me an injury, since in your discourse you have disclosed to me all your sentiments. Why, your own self even I don’t stand much in awe of, if I carry this out. I’ll go where I intended, and there I’ll commune upon my plans.
Wherever it shall be agreable to my feelings. Really, there’s not a person that I shall stand in dread of from this time forward, for fear he might be able to do me an injury, since in your discourse you have disclosed to me all your sentiments. Why, your own self even I don’t stand much in awe of, if I carry this out. I’ll go where I intended, and there I’ll commune upon my plans.
DEMAENETUS
Do you hear me? I shall be with Archibulus, the banker.
Do you hear me? I shall be with Archibulus, the banker.
LIBANUS
In the Forum, you mean?
In the Forum, you mean?
DEMAENETUS
There, if there shall be any occasion for me
11
.
There, if there shall be any occasion for me
11
.
LIBANUS
I’ll remember it.
(Exit.)
I’ll remember it.
DEMAENETUS
(to himself)
Not any servant can there be more artful than this fellow, nor yet more crafty, nor one that it is more difficult for you to be on your guard against.
If you want anything well managed, entrust it to this same fellow; he’d rather he should die in wretchedness, than not have that quite completed which he has promised. For I know that this money is as surely forthcoming for my son, as that I look upon this same walking-stick.
120
But why am I delaying to go to the Forum where I had intended
125
(Exit.)
Not any servant can there be more artful than this fellow, nor yet more crafty, nor one that it is more difficult for you to be on your guard against.
If you want anything well managed, entrust it to this same fellow; he’d rather he should die in wretchedness, than not have that quite completed which he has promised. For I know that this money is as surely forthcoming for my son, as that I look upon this same walking-stick.
120
But why am I delaying to go to the Forum where I had intended
125
Asinaria. Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley (Translator). London. 1912.
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