MENELAUS

I’m willing to believe you turn into water, Proteus, since you come from the sea, and I can even put up with your becoming a tree, and even your changing into a lion is not quite beyond the bounds of belief—but that you can actually become fire, although you live in the sea, I find quite amazing and incredible.

PROTEUS

Well you mustn’t, Menelaus, for it’s true enough.

MENELAUS

I saw it with my own eyes. But I’ll tell you what I think. I think it’s all a trick, and you cheat the eyes of the onlookers, and don’t turn into any of these things.

PROTEUS

How could there be any deception when everything’s so clearly visible? Weren’t your eyes open when you saw all my changes? If you don’t believe it, and think it’s all a fraud and an optical illusion, just try touching me with your hand, my fine fellow, when I turn myself into fire. That will teach you whether I’m only to be seen with the eyes or can burn as well.

MENELAUS

That would be dangerous, Proteus.

PROTEUS

I don’t suppose you’ve ever seen an octopus, Menelaus, or know what happens to that sort of fish?

MENELAUS

I have seen one, but please tell me what happens to it.

PROTEUS

Whenever it goes to a rock and puts its suckers on it, clinging tight with the full length of its arms, it makes itself just like that rock, changing its colour to match it; thus it escapes the notice of fishermen, by blending with its surroundings, thereby remaining inconspicuous and looking just like the stone.

MENELAUS

So people say. But your goings on, Proteus, are much harder to believe.

PROTEUS

I don’t know what else will convince you, Menelaus, if you won’t believe your own eyes.

MENELAUS

I admit I saw it. But it’s quite miraculous for one and the same person to be fire and water.

Menelaus

I can understand your turning into water, you know, Proteus, because you are a sea-god. I can even pass the tree; and the lion is not wholly beyond the bounds of belief. But the idea of your being able to turn into fire, living under water as you do,—this excites my surprise, not to say my incredulity.

Proteus

Don’t let it; because I can.

Menelaus

I have seen you do it. But (to be frank with you) I think there must be some deception; you play tricks with one’s eyes; you don’t really turn into anything of the kind?

Proteus

Deception? What deception can there possibly be? Everything is above-board. Your eyes were open, I suppose, and you saw me change into all these things? If that is not enough for you, if you think it is a fraud, an optical illusion, I will turn into fire again, and you can touch me with your hand, my sagacious friend. You will then be able to conclude whether I am only visible fire, or have the addseional Property of burning.

Menelaus

That would be rash.

Proteus

I suppose you have never seen such a thing as a polypus, nor observed the proceedings of that fish?

Menelaus

I have seen them; as to their proceedings, I shall be glad of your information.

Proteus

The polypus, having selected his rock, and attached himself by means of his suckers, assimilates himself to it, changing his colour to match that of the rock. By this means he hopes to escape the observation of fishermen: there is no contrast of colour to betray his presence; he looks just like stone.

Menelaus

So I have heard. But yours is quite another matter, Proteus.

Proteus

I don’t know what evidence would satisfy you, if you reject that of your own eyes.

Menelaus

I have seen it done, but it is an extraordinary business; fire and water, one and the same person!