Search the Perseus Catalog for:

← Previous Next →

XIII

Diogenes

Alexander

Diogenes

Dear me, Alexander, you dead like the rest of us?

Alexander

As you see, sir; is there anything extraordinary in a mortal’s dying?

Diogenes

So Ammon lied when he said you were his son; you were Philip’s after all.

Alexander

Apparently; if I had been Ammon’s, I should not have died.

Diogenes

Strange! there were tales of the same order about Olympias too. A serpent visited her, and was seen in her bed; we were given to understand that that was how you came into the world, and Philip made a mistake when he took you for his.

Alexander

Yes, I was told all that myself; however, I know now that my mother’s and the Ammon stories were all moonshine.

Diogenes

Their lies were of some practical value to you, though; your divinity brought a good many people to their knees.

Diogenes

But now, whom did you leave your great empire to?

Alexander

Diogenes, I cannot tell you. I had no time to leave any directions about it, beyond just giving Perdiccas my ring as I died, Why are you laughing?

Diogenes

Oh, I was only thinking of the Greeks’ behaviour; directly you succeeded, how they flattered you! their elected patron, generalissimo against the barbarian; one of the twelve Gods according to some; temples built and sacrifices offered to the Serpent’s son!

Diogenes

If I may ask, where did your Macedonians bury you?

Alexander

I have lain in Babylon a full month to-day; and Ptolemy of the Guards is pledged, as soon as he can get a moment’s respite from present disturbances, to take and bury me in Egypt, there to be reckoned among the Gods.

Diogenes

I have some reason to laugh, you see; still nursing vain hopes of developing into an Osiris or Anubis! Pray, your Godhead, put these expectations from you; none may reascend who has once sailed the lake and penetrated our entrance; Aeacus is watchful, and Cerberus an awkward customer.

Diogenes

But there is one thing I wish you would tell me: how do you like thinking over all the earthly bliss you left to come here—your guards and armour-bearers and lieutenant-governors, your heaps of gold and adoring peoples, Babylon and Bactria, your huge elephants, your honour and glory, those conspicuous drives with white-cinctured locks and clasped purple cloak? does the thought of them hurt? What, crying? silly fellow! did not your wise Aristotle include in his instructions any hint of the insecurity of fortune’s favours?

Alexander

Wise? call him the craftiest of all flatterers. Allow me to know a little more than other people about Aristotle; his requests and his letters came to my address; I know how he profited by my passion for culture; how he would toady and compliment me, to be sure! now it was my beauty—that too is included under The Good; now it was my deeds and my money; for money too he called a Good—he meant that he was not going to be ashamed of taking it. Ah, Diogenes, an impostor; and a past master at it too. For me, the result of his wisdom is that I am distressed for the things you catalogued just now, as if I had lost in them the chief Goods.

Diogenes

Wouldst know thy course? I will prescribe for your distress. Our flora, unfortunately, does not include hellebore; but you take plenty of Lethe-water—good, deep, repeated draughts; that will relieve your distress over the Aristotelian Goods. Quick; here are Clitus, Callisthenes, and a lot of others making for you; they mean to tear you in pieces and pay you out. Here, go the opposite way; and remember, repeated draughts.

Henry Watson Fowler

Dialogi mortuorum. Lucian. Henry Watson Fowler (Translator), Francis George Fowler (Translator). Medford, MA, USA. 2023-08-01.

Current edition Perseus

Dialogues of the Dead (English) (The Works of Lucian of Samosata, Vol. 1. Fowler, Henry Watson and Fowler, Francis George, translators. Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1905.)

Editions (2)

Νεκρικοὶ Διάλογοι Perseus (Lucian. Luciani Samosatensis Opera, Vol. 1. Jacobitz, Karl, editor. Leipzig: Teubner, 1909.) — 13 focus

Διογένης καὶ Ἀλέξανδρος.

Διογένης

τί τοῦτο, ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε; καὶ συ τέθνηκας ὥσπερ καὶ ἡμεῖς ἅπαντες; 390

Ἀλέξανδρος

ὁρᾷς, ὦ Διόγενες· οὐ παράδοξον δέ, εἰ ἄνθρωπος ὢν ἀπέθανον.

Διογένης

οὐκοῦν ὁ Ἄμμων ἐψεύδετο λέγων ἑαυτοῦ σε εἶναι, σὺ δὲ Φιλίππου ἄρα ἦσθα;

Ἀλέξανδρος

Φιλίππου δηλαδή· οὐ γὰρ ἂν ἐτεθνήκειν Ἄμμωνος ὤν.

Διογένης

καὶ μὴν καὶ περὶ τῆς Ὀλυμπιάδος ὅμοια ἐλέγετο, δράκοντα ὁμιλεῖν αὐτῇ καὶ βλέπεσθαι ἐν τῇ εὐνῇ, εἶτα οὕτω σε τεχθῆναι, τὸν δὲ Φίλιππον ἐξηπατῆσθαι οἰόμενον παρʼ ἑαυτοῦ σε εἶναι.

Ἀλέξανδρος

κἀγὼ ταῦτα ἤκουον ὥσπερ σύ, νῦν δὲ ὁρῶ, ὅτι οὐδὲν ὑγιὲς οὔτε ἡ μήτηρ οὔτε οἱ τῶν Ἀμμωνίων προφῆται ἔλεγον.

Διογένης

ἀλλὰ τὸ ψεῦδος αὐτῶν οὐκ ἄχρηστόν σοι, 391 ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε, πρὸς τὰ πράγματα ἐγένετο· πολλοὶ γὰρ ὑπέπτησσον θεὸν εἶναί σε νομίζοντες.

Διογένης

ἀτὰρ εἰπέ μοι, τίνι τὴν τοσαύτην ἀρχὴν καταλέλοιπας;

Ἀλέξανδρος

οὐκ οἶδα, ὦ Διόνενες· οὐ γὰρ ἔφθασα ἐπισκῆψαί τι περὶ αὐτῆς ἢ τοῦτο μόνον, ὅτι ἀποθνήσκων Περδίκκᾳ τὸν δακτύλιον ἐπέδωκα. πλὴν ἀλλὰ τί γελᾷς, ὦ Διόγενες;

Διογένης

τί γὰρ ἄλλο ἢ ἀνεμνήσθην οἷα ἐποίει ἡ Ἑλλάς, ἄρτι σε παρειληφότα τὴν ἀρχὴν κολακεύοντες καὶ προστάτην αἱρούμενοι καὶ στρατηγὸν ἐπὶ τοὺς βαρβάρους, ἔνιοι δὲ καὶ τοῖς δώδεκα θεοῖς προστιθέντες καὶ οἰκοδομοῦντές σοι νεὼς καὶ θύοντες ὡς δράκοντος υἱῷ.

Διογένης

ἀλλʼ εἰπέ μοι, ποῦ σε οἱ Μακεδόνες ἔθαψαν; 392

Ἀλέξανδρος

ἔτι ἐν Βαβυλῶνι κεῖμαι τριακοστὴν ταύτην ἡμέραν, ὑπισχνεῖται δὲ Πτολεμαῖος ὁ ὑπασπιστής, ἤν ποτε ἀγάγῃ σχολὴν ἀπὸ τῶν θορύβων τῶν ἐν ποσίν, ἐς Αἴγυπτον ἀπαγαγὼν θάψειν ἐκεῖ, ὡς γενοίμην εἷς τῶν Αἰγυπτίων θεῶν.

Διογένης

μὴ γελάσω οὖν, ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε, ὁρῶν καὶ ἐν ᾅδου ἔτι σε μωραίνοντα καὶ ἐλπίζοντα Ἄνουβιν ἢ Ὄσιριν γενήσεσθαι; πλὴν ἀλλὰ ταῦτα μέν, ὦ θειότατε, μὴ ἐλπίσῃς· οὐ γὰρ θέμις ἀνελθεῖν τινα τῶν ἅπαξ διαπλευσάντων τὴν λίμνην καὶ ἐς τὸ εἴσω τοῦ στομίου παρελθόντων· οὐ γὰρ ἀμελὴς ὁ Αἰακὸς οὐδʼ ὁ Κέρβερος εὐκαταφρόνητος.

Διογένης

ἐκεῖνο δέ γε ἡδέως ἂν μάθοιμι παρὰ σοῦ, πῶς φέρεις, ὁπόταν ἐννοήσῃς, ὅσην εὐδαιμονίαν ὑπὲρ γῆς ἀπολιπὼν ἀφῖξαι, σωματοφύλακας καὶ ὑπασπιστὰς καὶ σατράπας καὶ χρυσὸν τοσοῦτον καὶ ἔθνη προσκυνοῦντα καὶ Βαβυλῶνα καὶ Βάκτρα καὶ τὰ μεγάλα θηρία καὶ τιμὴν καὶ δόξαν καὶ τὸ ἐπίσημον εἶναι ἐξελαύνοντα 393 διαδεδεμένον ταινίᾳ λευκῇ τὴν κεφαλὴν πορφυρίδα ἐμπεπορπημένον. οὐ λυπεῖ ταῦτά σε ὑπὸ τὴν μνήμην ἰόντα; τί δακρύεις, ὦ μάταιε; οὐδὲ ταῦτά σε ὁ σοφὸς Ἀριστοτέλης ἐπαίδευσε μὴ οἴεσθαι βέβαια εἶναι τὰ παρὰ τῆς τύχης;

Ἀλέξανδρος

ὁ σοφός; ἁπάντων ἐκεῖνος κολάκων ἐπιτριπτότατος ὤν. ἐμὲ μόνον ἔασον τὰ Ἀριστοτέλους εἰδέναι, ὅσα μὲν ᾔτησε παρʼ ἐμοῦ, οἷα δὲ ἐπέστελλεν, ὡς δὲ κατεχρῆτό μου τῇ περὶ παιδείαν φιλοτιμίᾳ θωπεύων καὶ ἐπαινῶν ἄρτι μὲν πρὸς τὸ κάλλος, ὡς καὶ τοῦτο μέρος ὂν τἀγαθοῦ, ἄρτι δὲ ἐς τὰς πράξεις καὶ τὸν πλοῦτον. καὶ γὰρ αὖ καὶ τοῦτο ἀγαθὸν ἡγεῖτο εἶναι, ὡς μὴ αἰσχύνοιτο καὶ αὑτὸς λαμβάνων· γόης, ὦ Διόγενες, ἄνθρωπος καὶ τεχνίτης. πλὴν ἀλλὰ τοῦτό γε ἀπολέλαυκα αὐτοῦ τῆς σοφίας, 394 τὸ λυπεῖσθαι ὡς ἐπὶ μεγίστοις ἀγαθοῖς ἐκείνοις. ἃ κατηριθμήσω μικρῷ γε ἔμπροσθεν.

Διογένης

ἀλλʼ οἶσθα ὃ δράσεις; ἄκος γάρ σοι τῆς λύπης ὑποθήσομαι. ἐπεὶ ἐνταῦθά γε ἐλλέβορος οὐ φύε ται, σὺ δὲ κἂν τὸ Λήθης ὕδωρ χανδὸν ἐπισπασάμενος πίε καὶ αὖθις πίε καὶ πολλάκις· οὕτως γὰρ παύσῃ ἐπὶ τοῖς Ἀριστοτέλους ἀγαθοῖς ἀνιώμενος. καὶ γὰρ Κλεῖτον ἐκεῖνον ὁρῶ καὶ Καλλισθένην καὶ ἄλλους πολλοὺς ἐπὶ σὲ ὁρμῶντας, ὡς διασπάσαιντο καὶ ἀμύναιντό σε ὧν ἔδρασας αὐτούς. ὥστε τὴν ἑτέραν σὺ ταύτην βάδιζε καὶ πῖνε πολλάκις, ὡς ἔφην.

Νεκρικοὶ διάλογοι Perseus (Lucian, Vol. 7. Macleod, Matthew Donald, editor. London: William Heinemann, Ltd.; Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1961 (unrenewed copyright).) — 13 focus

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΟΥΣ ΚΑΙ ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΥ

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

Τί τοῦτο, ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε; καὶ σὺ τέθνηκας ὥσπερ καὶ ἡμεῖς ἅπαντες;

390

ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ

Ὁρᾷς, ὦ Διόγενες· οὐ παράδοξον δέ, εἰ ἄνθρωπος ὢν ἀπέθανον.

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

Οὐκοῦν ὁ Ἄμμων ἐψεύδετο λέγων ἑαυτοῦ σε εἶναι, σὺ δὲ Φιλίππου ἄρα ἦσθα;

ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ

Φιλίππου δηλαδή· οὐ γὰρ ἂν ἐτεθνήκειν Ἄμμωνος ὤν.

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

Καὶ μὴν καὶ περὶ τῆς Ὀλυμιάδος ὅμοια ἐλέγετο, δράκοντα ὁμιλεῖν αὐτῇ καὶ βλέπεσθαι ἐν τῇ εὐνῇ, εἶτα οὕτω σε τεχθῆναι, τὸν δὲ Φίλιππον ἐξηπατῆσθαι οἰόμενον πατέρα σου εἶναι.

ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ

Κἀγὼ ταῦτα ἤκουον ὥσπερ σύ, νῦν δὲ ὁρῶ ὅτι οὐδὲν ὑγιὲς οὔτε ἡ μήτηρ οὔτε οἱ τῶν Ἀμμωνίων προφῆται ἔλεγον.

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

Ἀλλὰ τὸ ψεῦδος αὐτῶν οὐκ ἄχρηστόν σοι, ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε, πρὸς τὰ πράγματα ἐγένετο· 391 πολλοὶ γὰρ ὑπέπτησσον θεὸν εἶναί σε νομίζοντες.

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

ἀτὰρ εἰπέ μοι, τίνι τὴν τοσαύτην ἀρχὴν καταλέλοιπας;

ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ

Οὐκ οἶδα, ὦ Διόγενες· οὐ γὰρ ἔφθασα ἐπισκῆψαί τι περὶ αὐτῆς ἢ τοῦτο μόνον, ὅτι ἀποθνήσκων Περδίκκᾳ τὸν δακτύλιον ἐπέδωκα. πλὴν ἀλλὰ τί γελᾷς, ὦ Διόγενες;

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

Τί γὰρ ἄλλο ἢ ἀνεμνήσθην οἷα ἐποίει ἡ Ἑλλάς, ἄρτι σε παρειληφότα τὴν ἀρχὴν κολακεύοντες καὶ προστάτην αἱρούμενοι καὶ στρατηγὸν ἐπὶ τοὺς βαρβάρους, ἔνιοι δὲ καὶ τοῖς δώδεκα θεοῖς προστιθέντες καὶ οἰκοδομοῦντές σοι νεὼς καὶ θύοντες ὡς δράκοντος υἱῷ.

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

392 ἀλλ’ εἰπέ μοι, ποῦ σε οἱ Μακεδόνες ἔθαψαν;

ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ

Ἔτι ἐν Βαβυλῶνι κεῖμαι τριακοστὴν ¹ ἡμέραν ταύτην, ὑπισχνεῖται δὲ Πτολεμαῖος ὁ ὑπασπιστής, ἤν ποτε ἀγάγῃ σχολὴν ἀπὸ τῶν θορύβων τῶν ἐν ποσίν, εἰς Αἴγυπτον ἀπαγαγὼν θάψειν ἐκεῖ, ὡς γενοίμην εἷς τῶν Αἰγυπτίων θεῶν.

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

Μὴ γελάσω οὖν, ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε, ὁρῶν καὶ ἐν ᾅδου ἔτι σε μωραίνοντα καὶ ἐλπίζοντα Ἄνουβιν ἢ Ὄσιριν γενήσεσθαι; πλὴν ἀλλὰ ταῦτα μέν, ὦ θειότατε, μὴ ἐλπίσῃς· οὐ γὰρ θέμις ἀνελθεῖν τινα τῶν ἅπαξ διαπλευσάντων τὴν λίμνην καὶ εἰς τὸ εἴσω τοῦ στομίου παρελθόντων· οὐ γὰρ ἀμελὴς ὁ Αἰακὸς οὐδὲ ὁ Κέρβερος εὐκαταφρόνητος.

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

ἐκεῖνο δέ γε ἡδέως ἂν μάθοιμι παρὰ σοῦ, πῶς φέρεις, ὁπόταν ἐννοήσῃς ὅσην εὐδαιμονίαν ὑπὲρ γῆς ἀπολιπὼν ἀφῖξαι, σωματοφύλακας καὶ ὑπασπιστὰς καὶ σατράπας καὶ χρυσὸν τοσοῦτον καὶ ἔθνη προσκυνοῦντα καὶ Βαβυλῶνα καὶ Βάκτρα καὶ 393 τὰ μεγάλα θηρία καὶ τιμὴν καὶ δόξαν καὶ τὸ ἐπίσημον εἶναι ἐξελαύνοντα διαδεδεμένον ταινίᾳ λευκῇ τὴν κεφαλὴν πορφυρίδα ἐμπεπορπημένον. οὐ λυπεῖ ταῦτά σε ὑπὲρ τὴν μνήμην ² ἰόντα; τί δακρύεις, ὦ μάταιε; οὐδὲ ταῦτά σε ὁ σοφὸς Ἀριστοτέλης ἐπαίδευσεν μὴ οἴεσθαι βέβαια εἶναι τὰ παρὰ τῆς τύχης;

ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ

Ὁ σοφὸς ἐκεῖνος ἁπάντων κολάκων ἐπιτριπτότατος ὤν; ἐμὲ μόνον ἔασον τὰ Ἀριστοτέλους εἰδέναι, ὅσα μὲν ᾔτησεν παρ' ἐμοῦ, οἷα δὲ ἐπέστελλεν, ὡς δὲ κατεχρῆτό μου τῇ περὶ παιδείαν φιλοτιμίᾳ θωπεύων καὶ ἐπαινῶν ἄρτι μὲν πρὸς τὸ κάλλος, ὠς καὶ τοῦτο μέρος ὂν τἀγαθοῦ, ἄρτι δὲ ἐς τὰς πράξεις καὶ τὸν πλοῦτον. καὶ γὰρ αὖ καὶ τοῦτο ἀγαθὸν ἡγεῖτο εἶναι, ὡς μὴ αἰσχύνοιτο καὶ αὐτὸς λαμβάνων· γόης, ὦ Διόγενες, ἅνθρωπος καὶ τεχνίτης. πλὴν ἀλλὰ τοῦτό γε ἀπολέλαυκα τῆς σοφίας αὐτοῦ, τὸ λυπεῖσθαι ὡς ἐπὶ μεγίστοις ἀγαθοῖς ἐκείνοις, ἃ κατηριθμήσω μικρῷ γε ἔμπροσθεν.

394

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

Ἀλλ' οἶσθα ὃ δράσεις; ἄκος γάρ σοι τῆς λύπης ὑποθήσομαι. ἐπεὶ ἐνταῦθά γε ἐλλέβορος οὐ φύεται, σὺ δὲ κἂν τὸ Λήθης ὕδωρ χανδὸν ἐπισπασάμενος πίε καὶ αὖθις πίε καὶ πολλάκις· οὕτω γὰρ ἂν παύσαιο ἐπὶ τοῖς Ἀριστοτέλους ἀγαθοῖς ἀνιώμενος. καὶ γὰρ Κλεῖτον ἐκεῖνον ὁρῶ καὶ Καλλισθένην καὶ ἄλλους πολλοὺς ἐπὶ σὲ ὁρμῶντας, ὡς διασπάσαιντο καὶ ἀμύναιντο σε ὧν ἔδρασας αὐτούς. ὥστε τὴν ἑτέραν σὺ ταύτην βάδιζε καὶ πῖνε πολλάκις, ὡς ἔφην.

Translations (1)

Dialogues of the Dead Perseus (Lucian, Vol. 7. Macleod, Matthew Donald, translator. London: William Heinemann, Ltd.; Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1961 (unrenewed copyright).) — 13 focus

Diogenes And Alexander

DIOGENES

What’s this, Alexander? Are you dead too, just like the rest of us?

ALEXANDER

As you see, Diogenes. There’s nothing strange in a human like me dying.

DIOGENES

Ammon lied, then, when he said you were his son? You were Philip’s son after all?

ALEXANDER

Of course I was Philip’s son. I shouldn’t have died, if Ammon was my father.

DIOGENES

And it was another lie about Olympias—that a serpent came to her and was seen in her bed, that that was how you came to be born, and that Philip was deceived in thinking that he was your father?

ALEXANDER

I heard that too, just as you did, but now I see that there was not a word of truth in what my mother and the prophets of Ammon said.

DIOGENES

But their lies weren’t without practical advantage to you, Alexander. For many cowered down before you, thinking you a god.

DIOGENES

But tell me, to whom have you left your great empire?

ALEXANDER

I don’t know, Diogenes; I didn’t give any instructions about it in time; I merely gave my ring to Perdiccas when I died. But why do you laugh, Diogenes?

DIOGENES

I’m only recalling how Greece treated you, flattering you from the moment you succeeded to your kingdom, and choosing you as her champion and leader against the barbarians, and how some even added you to the twelve gods, built you temples, and sacrificed to you, as the son of the serpent.

DIOGENES

But tell me, where did the Macedonians bury you?

ALEXANDER

I’ve been lying in Babylon for a whole thirty days now, but my guardsman Ptolemy promises that, whenever he gets a respite from the present disturbances, he’ll take me away to Egypt and bury me there, so that I may become one of the gods of the Egyptians.

DIOGENES

Well, can I help laughing, Alexander, when I see that even in Hades you still act like a fool and hope you’ll be an Anubis or an Osiris? But don’t be too hopeful about that, personage most divine. It’s against our law that anyone who has once sailed across our lake and passed within our entrance should go up again. For Aeacus does not neglect his duties, nor is Cerberus to be taken lightly.

DIOGENES

But what I should like you to tell me is how you bear the thought of the great happiness you left on the earth above, when you came here—your bodyguards, crack regiments and satraps, all that gold, the nations bowing down before you, and Babylon and Bactra, and those enormous beasts, and the honour and the glory, and your distinction, when you rode forth with a white ribbon on your head, and wearing a purple robe fastened with brooches. Don’t you feel sad that these things are passing beyond your memory? Why do you cry, you fool? Didn’t the wise Aristotle even teach you to realise the insecurity of the gifts of fortune?

ALEXANDER

Wise Aristotle! Why, he’s the arch-knave of all flatterers. Let me be the sole authority on him, with all his requests for gifts and his instructions, and the way he took advantage of my zeal for education by flattering and praising me, sometimes for my beauty (as though even that were part of the “Good”), or again for my achievements and my wealth. For that was yet another thing he counted as good, so that he need have no shame in accepting some for himself too. The fellow’s an impostor, Diogenes, and a master at the game. But I did at least get one thing from his wisdom—grief for those things you’ve just enumerated, for I think them the greatest of goods.

DIOGENES

Well, here’s what to do. I’ll prescribe a cure for your grief. As there’s no hellebore ¹ growing here, you’d better take a stiff drink of the water of Lethe, and repeat the dose frequently, and then you’ll stop sorrowing for Aristotle’s “goods”. Do so, for I see Clitus over there and Callisthenes ² and many others bearing down on you, to tear you to pieces and get even with you for the things you did to them. So you’d better take this other path here, and take frequent doses as I’ve just said.

Search the Perseus Catalog for:

Search the Perseus Catalog for:

XIII

Diogenes

Alexander

Diogenes Dear me, Alexander, you dead like the rest of us?

Alexander As you see, sir; is there anything extraordinary in a mortal’s dying?

Diogenes So Ammon lied when he said you were his son; you were Philip’s after all.

Alexander Apparently; if I had been Ammon’s, I should not have died.

Diogenes Strange! there were tales of the same order about Olympias too. A serpent visited her, and was seen in her bed; we were given to understand that that was how you came into the world, and Philip made a mistake when he took you for his.

Alexander Yes, I was told all that myself; however, I know now that my mother’s and the Ammon stories were all moonshine.

Diogenes Their lies were of some practical value to you, though; your divinity brought a good many people to their knees.

Diogenes But now, whom did you leave your great empire to?

Alexander Diogenes, I cannot tell you. I had no time to leave any directions about it, beyond just giving Perdiccas my ring as I died, Why are you laughing?

Diogenes Oh, I was only thinking of the Greeks’ behaviour; directly you succeeded, how they flattered you! their elected patron, generalissimo against the barbarian; one of the twelve Gods according to some; temples built and sacrifices offered to the Serpent’s son!

Diogenes If I may ask, where did your Macedonians bury you?

Alexander I have lain in Babylon a full month to-day; and Ptolemy of the Guards is pledged, as soon as he can get a moment’s respite from present disturbances, to take and bury me in Egypt, there to be reckoned among the Gods.

Diogenes I have some reason to laugh, you see; still nursing vain hopes of developing into an Osiris or Anubis! Pray, your Godhead, put these expectations from you; none may reascend who has once sailed the lake and penetrated our entrance; Aeacus is watchful, and Cerberus an awkward customer.

Current edition Perseus

Διογένης καὶ Ἀλέξανδρος.

Διογένης τί τοῦτο, ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε; καὶ συ τέθνηκας ὥσπερ καὶ ἡμεῖς ἅπαντες; 390

Ἀλέξανδρος ὁρᾷς, ὦ Διόγενες· οὐ παράδοξον δέ, εἰ ἄνθρωπος ὢν ἀπέθανον.

Διογένης οὐκοῦν ὁ Ἄμμων ἐψεύδετο λέγων ἑαυτοῦ σε εἶναι, σὺ δὲ Φιλίππου ἄρα ἦσθα;

Ἀλέξανδρος Φιλίππου δηλαδή· οὐ γὰρ ἂν ἐτεθνήκειν Ἄμμωνος ὤν.

Ἀλέξανδρος κἀγὼ ταῦτα ἤκουον ὥσπερ σύ, νῦν δὲ ὁρῶ, ὅτι οὐδὲν ὑγιὲς οὔτε ἡ μήτηρ οὔτε οἱ τῶν Ἀμμωνίων προφῆται ἔλεγον.

Διογένης ἀλλὰ τὸ ψεῦδος αὐτῶν οὐκ ἄχρηστόν σοι, 391 ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε, πρὸς τὰ πράγματα ἐγένετο· πολλοὶ γὰρ ὑπέπτησσον θεὸν εἶναί σε νομίζοντες.

Διογένης ἀτὰρ εἰπέ μοι, τίνι τὴν τοσαύτην ἀρχὴν καταλέλοιπας;

Διογένης ἀλλʼ εἰπέ μοι, ποῦ σε οἱ Μακεδόνες ἔθαψαν; 392

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΟΥΣ ΚΑΙ ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΥ

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ Τί τοῦτο, ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε; καὶ σὺ τέθνηκας ὥσπερ καὶ ἡμεῖς ἅπαντες;

ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ Ὁρᾷς, ὦ Διόγενες· οὐ παράδοξον δέ, εἰ ἄνθρωπος ὢν ἀπέθανον.

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ Οὐκοῦν ὁ Ἄμμων ἐψεύδετο λέγων ἑαυτοῦ σε εἶναι, σὺ δὲ Φιλίππου ἄρα ἦσθα;

ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ Φιλίππου δηλαδή· οὐ γὰρ ἂν ἐτεθνήκειν Ἄμμωνος ὤν.

ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ Κἀγὼ ταῦτα ἤκουον ὥσπερ σύ, νῦν δὲ ὁρῶ ὅτι οὐδὲν ὑγιὲς οὔτε ἡ μήτηρ οὔτε οἱ τῶν Ἀμμωνίων προφῆται ἔλεγον.

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ Ἀλλὰ τὸ ψεῦδος αὐτῶν οὐκ ἄχρηστόν σοι, ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε, πρὸς τὰ πράγματα ἐγένετο· 391 πολλοὶ γὰρ ὑπέπτησσον θεὸν εἶναί σε νομίζοντες.

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ ἀτὰρ εἰπέ μοι, τίνι τὴν τοσαύτην ἀρχὴν καταλέλοιπας;

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ 392 ἀλλ’ εἰπέ μοι, ποῦ σε οἱ Μακεδόνες ἔθαψαν;

Diogenes And Alexander

DIOGENES What’s this, Alexander? Are you dead too, just like the rest of us?

ALEXANDER As you see, Diogenes. There’s nothing strange in a human like me dying.

DIOGENES Ammon lied, then, when he said you were his son? You were Philip’s son after all?

ALEXANDER Of course I was Philip’s son. I shouldn’t have died, if Ammon was my father.

DIOGENES And it was another lie about Olympias—that a serpent came to her and was seen in her bed, that that was how you came to be born, and that Philip was deceived in thinking that he was your father?

ALEXANDER I heard that too, just as you did, but now I see that there was not a word of truth in what my mother and the prophets of Ammon said.

DIOGENES But their lies weren’t without practical advantage to you, Alexander. For many cowered down before you, thinking you a god.

DIOGENES But tell me, to whom have you left your great empire?

ALEXANDER I don’t know, Diogenes; I didn’t give any instructions about it in time; I merely gave my ring to Perdiccas when I died. But why do you laugh, Diogenes?

DIOGENES But tell me, where did the Macedonians bury you?

ALEXANDER I’ve been lying in Babylon for a whole thirty days now, but my guardsman Ptolemy promises that, whenever he gets a respite from the present disturbances, he’ll take me away to Egypt and bury me there, so that I may become one of the gods of the Egyptians.

Stable identifiers

Diogenes

Dear me, Alexander, you dead like the rest of us?

Alexander

As you see, sir; is there anything extraordinary in a mortal’s dying?

Diogenes

So Ammon lied when he said you were his son; you were Philip’s after all.

Alexander

Apparently; if I had been Ammon’s, I should not have died.

Diogenes

Strange! there were tales of the same order about Olympias too. A serpent visited her, and was seen in her bed; we were given to understand that that was how you came into the world, and Philip made a mistake when he took you for his.

Alexander

Yes, I was told all that myself; however, I know now that my mother’s and the Ammon stories were all moonshine.

Diogenes

Their lies were of some practical value to you, though; your divinity brought a good many people to their knees.

Diogenes

But now, whom did you leave your great empire to?

Alexander

Diogenes, I cannot tell you. I had no time to leave any directions about it, beyond just giving Perdiccas my ring as I died, Why are you laughing?

Diogenes

Oh, I was only thinking of the Greeks’ behaviour; directly you succeeded, how they flattered you! their elected patron, generalissimo against the barbarian; one of the twelve Gods according to some; temples built and sacrifices offered to the Serpent’s son!

Diogenes

If I may ask, where did your Macedonians bury you?

Alexander

I have lain in Babylon a full month to-day; and Ptolemy of the Guards is pledged, as soon as he can get a moment’s respite from present disturbances, to take and bury me in Egypt, there to be reckoned among the Gods.

Diogenes

I have some reason to laugh, you see; still nursing vain hopes of developing into an Osiris or Anubis! Pray, your Godhead, put these expectations from you; none may reascend who has once sailed the lake and penetrated our entrance; Aeacus is watchful, and Cerberus an awkward customer.

Διογένης

τί τοῦτο, ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε; καὶ συ τέθνηκας ὥσπερ καὶ ἡμεῖς ἅπαντες; 390

Ἀλέξανδρος

ὁρᾷς, ὦ Διόγενες· οὐ παράδοξον δέ, εἰ ἄνθρωπος ὢν ἀπέθανον.

Διογένης

οὐκοῦν ὁ Ἄμμων ἐψεύδετο λέγων ἑαυτοῦ σε εἶναι, σὺ δὲ Φιλίππου ἄρα ἦσθα;

Ἀλέξανδρος

Φιλίππου δηλαδή· οὐ γὰρ ἂν ἐτεθνήκειν Ἄμμωνος ὤν.

Ἀλέξανδρος

κἀγὼ ταῦτα ἤκουον ὥσπερ σύ, νῦν δὲ ὁρῶ, ὅτι οὐδὲν ὑγιὲς οὔτε ἡ μήτηρ οὔτε οἱ τῶν Ἀμμωνίων προφῆται ἔλεγον.

Διογένης

ἀλλὰ τὸ ψεῦδος αὐτῶν οὐκ ἄχρηστόν σοι, 391 ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε, πρὸς τὰ πράγματα ἐγένετο· πολλοὶ γὰρ ὑπέπτησσον θεὸν εἶναί σε νομίζοντες.

Διογένης

ἀτὰρ εἰπέ μοι, τίνι τὴν τοσαύτην ἀρχὴν καταλέλοιπας;

Διογένης

ἀλλʼ εἰπέ μοι, ποῦ σε οἱ Μακεδόνες ἔθαψαν; 392

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

Τί τοῦτο, ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε; καὶ σὺ τέθνηκας ὥσπερ καὶ ἡμεῖς ἅπαντες;

ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ

Ὁρᾷς, ὦ Διόγενες· οὐ παράδοξον δέ, εἰ ἄνθρωπος ὢν ἀπέθανον.

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

Οὐκοῦν ὁ Ἄμμων ἐψεύδετο λέγων ἑαυτοῦ σε εἶναι, σὺ δὲ Φιλίππου ἄρα ἦσθα;

ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ

Φιλίππου δηλαδή· οὐ γὰρ ἂν ἐτεθνήκειν Ἄμμωνος ὤν.

ΑΛΕΞΑΝΔΡΟΣ

Κἀγὼ ταῦτα ἤκουον ὥσπερ σύ, νῦν δὲ ὁρῶ ὅτι οὐδὲν ὑγιὲς οὔτε ἡ μήτηρ οὔτε οἱ τῶν Ἀμμωνίων προφῆται ἔλεγον.

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

Ἀλλὰ τὸ ψεῦδος αὐτῶν οὐκ ἄχρηστόν σοι, ὦ Ἀλέξανδρε, πρὸς τὰ πράγματα ἐγένετο· 391 πολλοὶ γὰρ ὑπέπτησσον θεὸν εἶναί σε νομίζοντες.

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

ἀτὰρ εἰπέ μοι, τίνι τὴν τοσαύτην ἀρχὴν καταλέλοιπας;

ΔΙΟΓΕΝΗΣ

392 ἀλλ’ εἰπέ μοι, ποῦ σε οἱ Μακεδόνες ἔθαψαν;

DIOGENES

What’s this, Alexander? Are you dead too, just like the rest of us?

ALEXANDER

As you see, Diogenes. There’s nothing strange in a human like me dying.

DIOGENES

Ammon lied, then, when he said you were his son? You were Philip’s son after all?

ALEXANDER

Of course I was Philip’s son. I shouldn’t have died, if Ammon was my father.

DIOGENES

And it was another lie about Olympias—that a serpent came to her and was seen in her bed, that that was how you came to be born, and that Philip was deceived in thinking that he was your father?

ALEXANDER

I heard that too, just as you did, but now I see that there was not a word of truth in what my mother and the prophets of Ammon said.

DIOGENES

But their lies weren’t without practical advantage to you, Alexander. For many cowered down before you, thinking you a god.

DIOGENES

But tell me, to whom have you left your great empire?

ALEXANDER

I don’t know, Diogenes; I didn’t give any instructions about it in time; I merely gave my ring to Perdiccas when I died. But why do you laugh, Diogenes?

DIOGENES

But tell me, where did the Macedonians bury you?

ALEXANDER

I’ve been lying in Babylon for a whole thirty days now, but my guardsman Ptolemy promises that, whenever he gets a respite from the present disturbances, he’ll take me away to Egypt and bury me there, so that I may become one of the gods of the Egyptians.