Lucian of Samosata, Rhetorum praeceptor, Austin Morris Harmon (Translator), 25

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[25] I was bundled out neck and crop, yet even then I was not at a loss for the necessaries of life. No, I enjoy the name of a speaker, and prove myself such in the courts, generally playing false to my clients, although I promise the poor fools to deliver their juries to them.¹ To be sure I am generally unsuccessful, but the palm-leaves at my door are green and twined with fillets, for I use them as bait for my victims.² But even to be detested by everyone, to be notorious for the badness of my character and the still greater badness of my speeches, to be pointed out with the finger—‘ There he is, the man who, they say, is foremost in all iniquity!’—seems to me no slight achievement.

“This is the advice which I bestow upon you. By Our Lady of the Stews, I bestowed it upon myself long ago, and am deeply grateful to myself for it.”

Rhetorum praeceptor. Lucian of Samosata. Austin Morris Harmon (Translator). United States. Perseus 5.0.

Funding provided by National Endowment for the Humanities.

Current edition Perseus

A Professor of Public Speaking (English) (Lucian, Vol. 4. Harmon, Austin Morris, editor. London: William Heinemann, Ltd.; Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1925 (printing).)

Editions (1)

Ῥητόρων Διδάσκαλος Perseus (Lucian, Vol. 4. Harmon, Austin Morris, editor. London: William Heinemann, Ltd.; Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1925 (printing).) — 25 focus

[25] ἐξωσθεὶς δὲ ἐπὶ κεφαλὴν ὅμως οὐδὲ τότε ἠπόρησα τῶν ἀναγκαίων, ἀλλὰ καὶ ῥήτωρ δοκῶ κἀν ταῖς δίκαις ἐξετάζομαι προδιδοὺς τὰ πολλὰ καὶ τοὺς δικαστὰς τοῖς ἀνοήτοις καθυπισχνούμενος, καὶ ἡττῶμαι μὲν τὰ πλεῖστα, οἱ φοίνικες δὲ ἐπὶ τῇ θύρᾳ χλωροὶ καὶ ἐστεφανωμένοι· τούτοις γὰρ ἐπὶ τοὺς δυστυχεῖς χρῶμαι τοῖς δελέασιν. ἀλλὰ καὶ τὸ μισεῖσθαι πρὸς ἁπάντων καὶ ἐπίσημον εἶναί με ἐπὶ τῇ μοχθηρίᾳ τοῦ τρόπου καὶ πολὺ πρότερον τῶν λόγων καὶ τὸ δείκνυσθαι τῷ δακτύλῳ τοῦτον ἐκεῖνον τὸν ἀκρότατον ἐν πάσῃ κακίᾳ λεγόμενον, οὐ μικρὸν εἶναι ἐμοί γε δοκεῖ.

Ταῦτά σοι παραινῶ, νὴ τὴν πάνδημον, πολὺ πρότερον ἐμαυτῷ παραινέσας καὶ χάριν ἐμαυτῷ οὐ μικρὰν ἐπιστάμενος.

Translations (1)

The Rhetorician’s Vade Mecum Perseus (The Works of Lucian of Samosata, Vol. 3. Fowler, Henry Watson and Fowler, Francis George, translators. Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1905.) — 25 focus

[25] I was turned out neck and crop, but even so I did not starve. I have my professional position and am well known in the courts— especially for collusion and the corruption-agency which I keep for credulous litigants. My cases generally go against me; but the palms at my door¹ are fresh and flower-crowned—springes to catch woodcocks, you know. Then, to be the object of universal detestation, to be distinguished only less for the badness of one’s character than for that of one’s speeches, to be pointed at by every finger as“ the famous champion of all-round villany—this seems to me no inconsiderable attainment. And now you have my advice; take tt with the blessing of the great Goddess Lubricity. It is the same that I gave myself long ago; and very thankful I have been to myself for it.

Notes on the current edition

A Professor of Public Speaking

He is an accomplished praevaricator, not only selling out to the other side, but extracting money from his own clients under pretext of bribing the jury.

For palm-branches as a token of success at the bar see Juvenal 7, 118, and Mayor’s note.

Lucian of Samosata Rhetorum praeceptor 25

Austin Morris Harmon (Translator)

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