[1] Men interested in athletics and in the care of their bodies think not only of condition and exercise but: also of relaxation in season; in fact, they consider this the principal part of training. In like manner students, I think, after much reading of serious works may profitably relax their minds and put them in better trim for future labour.

[2] It would be appropriate recreation for them if they were to take up the sort of reading that, instead of affording just pure amusement based on wit and humour, also boasts a little food for thought that the Muses would not altogether spurn; and I think they will consider the present work something of the kind. They will find it enticing not only for the novelty of its subject, for the humour of its plan and because I tell all kinds of lies in a plausible and specious way, but also because everything in my story is a more or less comical parody of one or another of the poets, historians and philosophers of old, who have written much that smacks of miracles and fables. I would cite them by name, were it not that you yourself will recognise them from your reading.

[3] One of them is Ctesias, son of Ctesiochus, of Cnidos, who wrote a great deal about India and its characteristics that he had never seen himself nor heard from anyone else with a reputation for truthfulness. Iambulus also wrote much that was strange about the countries in the great sea: he made up a falsehood that is patent to everybody, but wrote a story that is not uninteresting for all that. ¹ Many others, with the same intent, have written about imaginary travels and journeys of theirs, telling of huge beasts, cruel men and strange ways of living. Their guide and instructor in this sort of charlatanry is Homer’s Odysseus, who tells Alcinous and his court about winds in bondage, one-eyed men, carfnibals and savages; also about animals with many heads, and transformations of his comrades wrought with drugs. This stuff, and much more like it, is what our friend humbugged the illiterate Phaeacians with!

[4] Well, on reading all these authors, I did not find much fault with them for their lying, as I saw that this was already a common practice even among men who profess philosophy. ² I did wonder, though, that they thought that they could write untruths and not get caught at it. Therefore, as I myself, thanks to my vanity, was eager to hand something down to posterity, that I might not be the only one excluded from the privileges of poetic licence, and as I had nothing true to tell, not having had any adventures of significance, I took to lying. But my lying is far more honest than theirs, for though I tell the truth in nothing else, I shall at least be truthful in saying that I ama liar. I think I can escape the censure of the world by my own admission that I am not telling a word of truth. Be it understood, then, that I am writing about things which I have neither seen nor had to do with nor learned from others—which, in fact, do not exist at all and, in the nature of things, cannot exist. ³ Therefore my readers should on no account believe in them.

[5] Once upon a time, setting out from the Pillars of Hercules and heading for the western ocean with a fair wind, I went a-voyaging. The motive and purpose of my journey lay in my intellectual activity and desire for adventure, and in my wish to find out what the end of the ocean was, and who the people were that lived on the other side. On this account I put aboard a good store of provisions, stowed water enough, enlisted in the venture fifty of my acquaintances who were like-minded with myself, got together also a great quantity of arms, shipped the best sailing-master to be had at a big inducement, and put my boat—she was a pinnace—in trim for a long and difficult voyage.

[6] Well, for a day and a night we sailed before the wind without making very much offing, as land was still dimly in sight; but at sunrise on the second day the wind freshened, the - sea rose, darkness came on, and before we knew it we could no longer even get our canvas in. Committing ourselves to the gale and giving up, we drove for seventy-nine days. On the eightieth day, however, the sun came out suddenly and at no great distance we saw a high, wooded island ringed about with sounding surf, which, however, was not rough, as already the worst of the storm was abating. ⁴

Putting in and going ashore, we lay on the ground for some time in consequence of our long misery, but finally we arose and told off thirty of our number to stay and guard the ship and twenty to go inland with me and look over the island.

[7] When we had gone forward through the wood about three furlongs from the sea, we saw a slab of bronze, inscribed with Greek letters, faint and obliterated, which said: “To this point came Hercules and Dionysus.” There were also two footprints in the rock close by, one of which was a hundred feet long, the other less—to my thinking, the smaller one was left by Dionysus, the other by Hercules. ⁵ We did obeisance and went on, but had not gone far when we came upon a river of wine, just as like as could be to Chian. ⁶ The stream was large and full, so that in places it was actually navigable. Thus we could not help having much greater faith in.the inscription on the slab, seeing the evidence of Dionysus’ visit. I resolved to find out where the river took its rise, and went up along the stream. What I found was not a source, but a number of large grapevines, full of clusters; beside the root of each flowed a spring of clear wine, and the springs gave rise to the river. There were many fish to be seen in it, very similar to wine in colour and in taste. In fact, on catching and eating some of them, we became drunk, and when we cut into them we found them full of lees, of course. Later on, we bethought ourselves to mix with them the other kind of fish, those from the water, and so temper the strength of our edible wine.

[8] Next, after crossing the river at a place where it was fordable, we found something wonderful in grapevines. The part which came out of the ground, the trunk itself, was stout and well-grown, but the upper part was in each case a woman, entirely perfect from the waist up. They were like our pictures of Daphne turning into a tree when Apollo is just catching her. Out of their finger-tips grew the branches, and they were full of grapes. Actually, the hair of their heads was tendrils and leaves and clusters! When we came up, they welcomed and greeted us, some of them speaking Lydian, some Indian, but the most part Greek. They even kissed us on the lips, and everyone that was kissed at once became reeling drunk. They did not suffer us, however, to gather any of the fruit, but cried out in pain when it was plucked. Some of them actually wanted us to embrace them, and two of my comrades complied, but could not get away again. They were ‘held fast by the part which had touched them, for it had grown in and struck root. Already branches had grown from their fingers, tendrils entwined them, and they were on the point of bearing fruit like the others any minute.

[9] Leaving them in the lurch, we made off to the boat, and on getting there, told the men we had left behind about everything, including the affair of our comrades with the vines. Then, taking jars, we furnished ourselves not only with water but with wine from. the river, encamped for the night on the beach close by, and at daybreak put to sea with a moderate breeze.

About noon, when the island was no longer in sight, a whirlwind suddenly arose, spun the boat about, raised her into the air about three hundred furlongs and did not let her down into the sea again; but while she was hung up aloft a wind struck her sails and drove her ahead with bellying canvas.

[10] For seven days and seven nights we sailed the air, and on the eighth day we saw a great country in it, resembling an island, bright and round and shining with a great light. Running in there and anchoring, we went ashore, and on investigating found that the land was inhabited and cultivated. By day nothing was in sight from the place, but as night came on we began to see many other islands hard by, some larger, some smaller, and they were like fire in colour. We also saw another country below, with cities in it and rivers and seas and forests and mountains, This we inferred to be our own world.

[11] We determined to go still further inland, but we met what they call the Vulture Dragoons, and were arrested. These are men riding on large vultures and using the birds for horses. The vultures are large and for the most part have three heads: you can judge of their size from the fact that the mast of a large merchantman is not so long or so thick as the smallest of the quills they have. ⁷ The Vulture Dragoons are commissioned to fly about the country and bring before the king any stranger they may find, so of course they arrested us and brought us before him. When he had looked us over and drawn his conclusions from our clothes, he said: “Then you are Greeks, are you, strangers?” and when we assented, “Well, how did you get here, with so much air to cross?" We told him all, and he began and told us about himself: that he too was a human being, Endymion by name, who had once been ravished from our country in his sleep, and on coming there had been made king of the land. He said that his country was the moon that shines down on us. ⁸ He urged us to take heart, however, and suspect no danger, for we should have everything that we required.

[12] “And if I succeed,” said he, “in the war which I am now making on the people of the sun, you shall lead the happiest of lives with me.” We asked whothe enemy were, and what the quarrel was about. “Phaethon,’ said he, “the king of the inhabitants of the sun—for it is inhabited, ⁹ you know, as well as the moon—has been at war with us for a long time now. It began in this way. Once upon a time I gathered together the poorest people in my kingdom and undertook to plant a colony on the Morning Star, which was empty and uninhabited. Phaethon out of jealousy thwarted the colonisation, meeting us half-way at the head of his Ant Dragoons. At that time we were beaten, for we were not a match for them in strength, and we retreated: now, however, I desire to make war again and plant. the colony. If you wish, then, you may take part with me in the expedition and I will give each of you one of my royal vultures and a complete outfit. We shall take the field to-morrow.” “Very well,” said I, “since you think it best.”

[13] That night we stopped there as his guests, but at daybreak we arose and took our posts, for the scouts signalled that the enemy was near. The number of our army was a hundred thousand, apart from the porters, the engineers, the infantry and the foreign allies; of this total, eighty thousand were Vulture Dragoons and twenty thousand Grassplumeriders, The Grassplume is also a very large bird, which instead-of plumage is all shaggy with grass and has wings very like lettuce-leaves. Next to these the Millet-shooters and the Garlic-fighters were posted. Endymion also had allies who came from the Great Bear—thirty thousand Flea-archers and fifty thousand Volplaneurs. The Flea-archers ride on great fleas, from which they get their name; the fleas are as large as twelve elephants. The Volplaneurs are infantry, to be sure, but they fly in the air without wings. As to the manner of their flight, they pull their long tunics up through their girdles, let the baggy folds fill with wind as if they were sails, and are carried along like boats. For the most part they serve as light infantry in battle. It was said, too, that the stars over Cappadocia would send seventy thousand Sparrowcorns and five thousand Crane Dragoons. I did not get a look at them, as they did not come, so I have not ventured to write about their characteristics, for the stories about them were wonderful and incredible. ¹⁰

[14] These were the forces of Endymion. They all had the same equipment—helmets of beans (their beans are large and tough); scale-corselets of lupines (they sew together the skins of lupines to make the corselets, and in that country the skin of the lupine is unbreakable, like horn); shields and swords of the Greek pattern.

[15] When the time came, they took position thus; on the right wing, the Vulture Dragoons and the king, with the bravest about him (we were among them); on the left, the Grassplumes; in the centre, the allies, in whatever formation they liked. The infantry came to about sixty million, and was deployed as follows. Spiders in that country are numerous and large, all of them far larger than the Cyclades islands. They were commissioned by the king to span the air between the Moon and the Morning Star with a web, and as soon as they had finished and had made a plain, he deployed his infantry on it. Their leaders were Owlett son of Fairweather, and two others.

[16] As to the enemy, on the left were the Ant Dragoons, with whom was Phaethon. They are very large beasts with wings, like the ants that we have, except in size: the largest one was two hundred feet long. ¹¹ They themselves fought, as well as their riders, and made especially good use of their feelers. They were said to number about fifty thousand. On their right were posted the Sky-mosquitoes, numbering also about fifty thousand, all archers riding on large mosquitoes. Next to them were the Sky-dancers, a sort of light infantry, formidable however, like all the rest, for they slung radishes at long range, and any man that they hit could not hold out a moment, but died, and his wound was malodorous. They were said to anoint their missiles with mallow poison. Beside them were posted the Stalk-mushrooms, heavy infantry employed at close quarters, ten thousand in number. They had the name Stalk-mushrooms because they used mushrooms for shields and stalks of asparagus for spears. Near them stood the Puppycorns, who were sent him by the inhabitants of the Dog-star, five thousand dogfaced men who fight on the back of winged acorns. ¹² It was said that there were tardy allies in Phaethon’s tase, too—the slingers whom he had summoned from the Milky Way, and the Cloud-centaurs. The latter to be sure, arrived just after the battle was over (if only they had not!); but the slingers did not put in an appearance at all. On account of this, they say, Phaethon was furious with them and afterwards ravaged their country with fire.

[17] This, then, was the array with which Phaethon came on. Joining battle when the flags had been flown and the donkeys on both sides had brayed (for they had donkeys for trumpeters), they fought. The - left wing of the Sunites fled at. once, without even receiving the charge of the Vulture Horse, and we pursued, cutting them down. But their right wing got the better of the left on our side, and the Sky-mosquitoes advanced in pursuit right up to the infantry. Then, when the infantry came to the rescue, they broke and fled, especially as they saw that the forces on their left had been defeated. It was a glorious victory, in which many were taken alive and many were slain; so much blood flowed on the clouds that they were dyed and looked red, as they do in our country when the sun is setting, and so much also dripped down on the earth that I wonder whether something of the sort did not take place in the sky long ago, when Homer supposed that Zeus had sent a rain of blood on account of the death of Sarpedon.1 ¹³

[18] When we had returned from.the pursuit we set up two trophies, one on the spider-webs for the infantry battle and the other, for the sky battle, on the clouds. We were just doing this when the scouts reported that the Cloud-centaurs, who should have come to Phaethon’s aid before the battle, were advancing on us. Before we knew it, they were coming on in plain sight, a most unparalleled spectacle, being a combination of winged horses and men. In size the men were as large as the Colossus of Rhodes from _ the waist up, and the horses were as large as a great merchantman. Their number, however, I leave unrecorded for fear that someone may think it incredible, it was so great. Their leader was the Archer from the Zodiac. When they saw that their friends had been defeated, they sent word to Phaethon to advance again, and then, on their own account, in regular formation fell on the disordered Moonites, who had broken ranks and scattered to pursue and to plunder. They put them all to flight, pursued the king himself to the city and killed most of his birds; they plucked up the trophies and overran the whole plain woven by the spiders, and they captured me with two of my comrades. By this time Phaethon too was present, and other trophies were being set up by their side. As for us, we were taken off to the sun that day, our hands tied behind our backs with a section of spider-web.

[19] The enemy decided not to lay siege to the city, but on their way back they built a wall through the air, so that the rays of the sun should no longer reach the moon. The wall was double, made of cloud, so that a genuine eclipse of the moon took place, and she was completely enshrouded in unbroken night. Hard pressed by this, Endymion sent and begged them to pull down the construction and not let them lead their lives in darkness. He promised to pay tribute, to be an ally and not to make war again, and volunteered to give hostages for all this. Phaethon and his people held two assemblies; on the first day they did not lay aside a particle of ‘their anger, but on the second day they softened, and the peace was made on these terms: ¹⁴

[20] On the following conditions the Sunites and their allies make peace with the Moonites and Heir allies, to wit: That the Sunites tear down the dividing- wall and do not invade the moon again, and that they make over the prisoners of war, each at a set ransom;

That the Moonites permit the stars tu be autonomous, and do not make war on the Sunites;

That each country aid the other if it be attacked;

That in yearly tribute the King of the Moonites pay the King of the Sunites ten thousand gallons of dew, and that he give ten thousand of his people as hostages;

That the colony on the Morning Star be planted in common, and that anyone else who so desires may take part in it;

That the treaty be inseribed on a slab of electrum and set up in mid-air, on the common confines. Attested under hand and seal.

(For the Sunites)

Firebrace

Parcher

Burns

(For the Moonites)

Darkling

Moony

Allbright

[21] On those terms peace was made, and then the wall was torn down at once and we prisoners were restored. When we reached the moon we were met and tearfully welcomed by our comrades and by Endymion himself. He wanted me to stay with him and join the colony, promising to give me his own son in marriage—there are no women in their country. But I was not to be persuaded; I asked him to let me go down to the sea. When he perceived that he could not prevail on me, he let us go after entertaining us for seven days.

[22] In the interval, while I was living on the moon, I observed some strange and wonderful things that I wish to speak of. In the first place there is the fact that they are not born of women but of men: they marry men and do not even know the word woman at all! Up to the age of twenty-five each is a wife, and thereafter a husband: They carry their children in the calf of the leg instead of the belly. When conception takes place the calf begins to swell. In course of time they cut it open and deliver the child dead, and then they bring it to life by putting it in the wind with its mouth open. It seems to me that the term “belly of the leg" ¹⁵ came to us Greeks from there, since the leg performs the function of a belly with them. But I will tell you something else, still more wonderful. They have a kind of men whom they call the Arboreals, who are brought into the world as follows: Exsecting a man’s right genital gland, they plant it in the ground. From it grows a very large tree of flesh, resembling the emblem of Priapus: it has branches and leaves; and its fruit is acorns a cubit thick. When these ripen, they harvest them and shell out the men. Another thing, they have artificial parts that are sometimes of ivory and sometimes, with the poor, of wood, and make use of them in their intercourse.

[23] When a man grows old, he does not die, but is dissolved like smoke and turns into air. They all eat the same food; they light a fire and cook frogs on the coals—they have quantities of frogs, that fly about in the air—and while they are cooking, they sit about them as if at table, snuff up the rising smoke and gorge themselves. ¹⁶ This is the food they eat, and their drink is air, which is squeezed into a cup and yields a liquid like dew. They are not subject to calls of nature, which, in fact, they have no means of answering. Another important function, too, is not provided for as one would expect, but in the hollow of the knee.

A man is thought beautiful in that country if he is bald and hairless, and they quite detest long-haired people. It is different on the comets, where they think long-haired people beautiful—there were visitors in the moon who told us about them. ¹⁷ Another point—they have beards that grow a little above the knee, and they have no toe-nails, but are all single-toed. Over each man’s rump grows a long cabbage-leaf, like a tail, which is always green and does not break if he falls on his back.

[24] Their noses run honey of great pungency, and when they work or take exercise, they sweat milk all over , their bodies, of such quality that cheese can actually be made from it by dripping in a little of the honey. They make oil from onions, and it is very clear and sweet-smelling, like myrrh. They have many watervines, the grapes. of which are like hailstones, and to my thinking, the hail that falls down on.us is due to the bursting. of the bunches when a wind strikes and shakes, those vines. They use their bellies for pockets, putting into them anything they have use for,as they can open and shut them. These parts do not seem to have any intestines in them or anything else, except that they are all shaggy and hairy inside, so that the children enter them when it is cold.

[25] The clothing of the rich is malleable glass ¹⁸ and that of the poor, spun bronze; for that region is rich in bronze, which they work like wool by wetting it with water. I am reluctant to tell you what sort of eyes they have, for fear that you may think me lying on account of the incredibility of the story, but I will tell you, notwithstanding. The eyes that they have are removable, and whenever they wish they take them out and put them away until they want to see: then they put them in and look. Many, on losing their own, borrow other people’s to see with, and the rich folk keep a quantity stored up. ¹⁹ For ears they have plane-leaves, except only the acorn-men, who have wocden ones. In the royal purlieus I saw another marvel.

[26] A large looking-glass is fixed above a well, which is not very deep. If a man goes down into the well, he hears everything that is said among us on earth, and if he looks into the looking-glass he sees every city and every country just as if he were standing over it. When I tried it I saw my family and my whole native land, but I cannot go further and say for certain whether they also saw me. Anyone who does not believe ‘this is so will find, if ever he gets there himself, that I am telling the truth.

[27] To go back to my story, we embraced the king and his friends, went aboard, and put off. Endymion even gave me presents—two of the glass tunics, five of bronze, and a suit of lupine armour—but I left them all behind in the whale. He also sent a thousand Vulture Dragoons with us to escort us for sixty miles.

[28] On our way ‘we passed many countries and put in at the Morning Star, which was just being colonised. We landed there and procured water. Going aboard and making for the zodiac, we passed the sun to port, hugging the shore. We did not land, though many of my comrades wanted to; for the wind was unfavourable. But we saw that the country was green and fertile and well-watered, and full of untold good things. On seeing us, the Cloudcentaurs, who had entered the service of Phaethon, flew up to the ship and then went away again when they found out that the treaty protected us.

[29] The Vulture Dragoons had already left us. Sailing the next night and day we reached Lamptown toward evening, already being on our downward way. This city lies in the air midway between the Pleiades and the Hyades, though much lower than the Zodiac. On landing, we did not find any men at all, but a lot of lamps running about and loitering in the public square and at the harbour. Some of them were small and poor, so to speak; a few, being great and powerful, were very splendid and conspicuous. Each of them has his own house, or sconce, they have names like men, and we heard - them talking. They offered us no harm, but invited us to be their guests. We were afraid, however, and none of us ventured to eat a mouthful or close an eye. They have a public building in the centre of the city, where their magistrate sits all night and " ealls each of them by name, and whoever does not answer is sentenced to death for deserting. They are executed by being put out. We were at court, saw what went on, and heard the lamps defend themselves and tell why they came late. There I recognised our own lamp: I spoke to hm and enquired how things were at home, and he told me all about them.

That night we stopped there, but on the next day we set sail and continued our voyage. By this time we were near the clouds. There we saw the city of Cloudcuckootown, ²⁰ and wondered at it, but did not visit it, as the wind did not permit. The king, however, was said to be Crow Dawson. It made me think of Aristophanes the poet, a wise and truthful man whose writings are distrusted without reason. On the next day but one, the ocean was already in plain sight, but no land anywhere except the countries in the air, and they began to appear fiery and bright. Toward noon on the fourth day the wind fell gently and gave out, and we were set down on the sea.

[30] When we touched the water we were marvellously pleased and happy, made as merry as.we could in every way, and went over the side for a swim, for by good luck it was calm and the sea was smooth.

It would seem, however, that a change for the better often proves a prelude to greater ills. We had sailed just two days in fair weather and the third day was breaking when toward sunrise we suddenly saw a number of sea-monsters, whales. One among them, the largest of all, was fully one hundred and fifty miles long. He came at us with open mouth, dashing up the sea far in advance, foam-washed, showing teeth much larger than the emblems of Dionysus in our country, ²¹ and all sharp as calthrops and white as ivory. We said good-bye to one another, embraced, and waited. He was there in an instant, and with a gulp swallowed us down, ship and all. He just missed crushing us with his teeth, but the boat slipped through the gaps between them into the interior.

[31] When we were inside, it was dark at first, and we could not see anything, but afterwards, when he opened his mouth, we saw a great cavity, flat all over and high, and large enough for the housing of a great city. In it there were fish, large and small, and many other creatures all mangled, ships’ rigging and anchors, human bones, and merchandise. In the middle there was land with hills on it, which to my thinking was formed of the mud that he had swallowed. Indeed, a forest of all kinds of trees had grown on it, garden stuff had come up, and_ everything appeared to be under cultivation. The coast of the island was twenty-seven miles long. Sea-birds were to be seen nesting on the trees, gulls and kingfishers. ²²

[32] At first we shed tears for a long time, and then I roused my comrades and we provided for the ship by shoring it up and for ourselves by rubbing sticks together, lighting a fire and getting dinner as best we could. We had at hand plenty of fish’ of all kinds, and we still had the water from the Morning Star. On rising the next day, whenever the whale opened his mouth we saw mountains one moment, nothing but sky the next, and islands frequently, and we perceived by this that he was rushing swiftly to all parts of the sea. When at Jength we became wonted to our abiding-place, I took seven of my comrades and went into the forest, wishing to have a look at everything. I had not yet gone quite five furlongs when I found a temple of Poseidon, as the inscription indicated, and not far from it a number of graves with stones on them. Near by was a spring of clear water. We also heard the barking of a dog, smoke appeared in the distance, and we made out something like a farmhouse, too.

[33] Advancing eagerly, we came upon an old man and a boy very busily at work in a garden which they were irrigating with water from the spring. Joyful and fearful at the same instant, we stopped still, and they too, probably feeling the same as we, stood there without a word. In course of time the old man said: “Who are you, strangers? Are you sea-gods, or only unlucky men like us? As for ourselves, though we are men and were bred on land, we have become sea-creatures and swim about with this beast which encompasses us, not even knowing for certain what our condition is—we suppose that we are dead, but trust that we are alive.” To this I replied: “We too are men, my good sir—newcomers, who were swallowed up yesterday, ship and all: and we set out just now with the notion of finding out how things were in the forest, for it appeared to be very large and thick. But some divinity, it seems, brought us to see you and to discover that we are not the only people shut up in this animal. Do tell us your adventures—who you are and how you got in here.” But he said he would neither tell us nor question us before giving. us what entertainment he could command, and he took us with him to the house. It was a commodious structure, had bunks built in it and was fully furnished in other ways. He set before us vegetables, fruit and fish and poured us out wine as well. When we had had enough, he asked us what had happened to us.” I told him about everything from first to last—the storm, the island, the cruise in the air, the war and all the rest of it up to our descent into the whale.

[34] He expressed huge wonder, and then told us his own story, saying: “By birth, strangers, I am a Cypriote. Setting out from my native land on a trading venture with my boy whom you see and with many servants besides, I began a voyage to Italy, bringing various wares on a great ship, which you no doubt saw wrecked in the mouth of the whale. As far as Sicily we had a fortunate voyage, but there we were caught by a violent wind and driven out into the ocean for three days, where we fell in with the whale, were swallowed up crew and all, and only we two survived, the others being killed. We buried our comrades, built a temple to Poseidon and live this sort of life, raising vegetables and eating fish and nuts. As you see, the forest is extensive; and besides, it contains many grape-vines, which yield the sweetest of wine. No doubt you noticed the spring of beautiful cold water, too. g We make our bed of leaves, burn all the wood we want, snare the birds that fly in, and catch fresh fish by going into the gills of the animal. We also bathe there when we care to. Another thing, there is a Jake not far off, twenty furlongs in circumference, with all kinds of fish in it, where we swim and sail in a little skiff that I made. It is now twenty-seven years since we were swallowed.

[35] Everything else is perhaps endurable, but our neighbours and fellow-countrymen are extremely quarrelsome and unpleasant, being unsociable and savage.” ‘ What!” said I, “are there other people in the whale, too?” “Why, yes, lots of them,” said he; “they are unfriendly and are oddly’ built. In the western part of the forest, the tail part, live the Broilers, an eel-eyed, lobster-faced people that are warlike and bold, and carnivorous. On one side, by the starboard wall, live the Mergoats, ²³ like men above and catfish below: they are not so wicked as the others. To port there are the Crabclaws and the Codheads, who are friends and allies with each other. The interior is inhabited by Clan Crawfish and the Solefeet, good fighters and swift runners. The eastern part, that near the mouth, is mostly uninhabited, as it is subject to inundations of the sea. I live in it, however, paying the Solefeet a tribute of five hundred oysters a year.

[36] Such being the nature of the country, it is for you to see how we can fight with all these tribes and how we are to get a living.” “How many are there of them in all?” said I. "More than a thousand,” said he. “What sort of weapons have they?” “Nothing but fishbones,” he said. “Then our best plan,” said I, “would be to meet them in battle, as they are unarmed and we have arms. If we defeat them, we shall live here in peace the rest of our days.”

This was resolved on, and we went to the boat and made ready. The cause of war was to be the withholding of the tribute, since the date for it had already arrived. They sent and demanded the tax, and he gave the messengers a contemptuous answer and drove them off. First the Solefeet and Clan Crawfish, incensed at Scintharus—for that was his name—came on with a great uproar.

[37] Anticipating their attack, we were waiting under arms, having previously posted in our front a squad of twenty-five men in ambush, who had been dirécted to fall on the enemy when they saw that they had gone by, and this they did. Falling on them in the rear, they cut them down, while we ourselves, twenty-five in number (for Scintharus and his son were in our ranks), met them face to face and, engaging them, ran our hazard with strength and spirit. Finally we routed them and pursued them clear to their dens. The slain on the side of the enemy were one hundred and seventy; on our side, one—the sailing-master, who was run through the midriff with a mullet-rib.

[38] That day and night we bivouacked on the field and made a trophy by setting up the dry spine of a dolphin. On the following day the others, who had heard of it, appeared, with the Broilers, led by Tom Cod, on the right wing, the Codheads on the left, and the Crabclaws in the centre. The Mergoats did not take the field, choosing not to ally themselves with either party. Going out to meet them, we engaged them by the temple of Poseidon with great shouting, and the hollow re-echoed like a cave. Routing them, as they were light-armed, and pursuing them into the forest, we were thenceforth masters of the land.

[39] Not long afterwards they sent heralds and were for recovering their dead and conferring about an alliance, but we did not think it best to make terms with them. Indeed, on the following day we marched against them and utterly exterminated them, all but the Mergoats, and they, when they saw what was doing, ran off through the gills and threw themselves into the sea. Occupying the country, which was now clear of the enemy, we dwelt there in peace from that time on, constantly engaging in sports, hunting, tending vines and gathering the fruit of the trees. In short, we resembled men leading a life of luxury and roaming at large m a great prison that they cannot break out of.

[40] For a year and eight months we lived in this way, but on the fifth day of the ninth month, about the second mouth-opening—for the whale did it once an hour, so that we told time by the openings—about the second opening, as I said, much shouting and commotion suddenly made itself heard, and what seemed to be commands and oar-beats. ²⁴ Excitedly we crept up to the very mouth of the animal, and standing inside the teeth we saw the most unparallelled of all the sights that ever I saw—huge men, fully half a furlong in stature, sailing on huge islands as on galleys. Though I know that what I am going to recount savours of the incredible, I shall say it nevertheless. There were islands, long but not very high, and fully a hundred. furlongs in circumference, on each of which about a hundred and twenty of those men were cruising, some of whom, sitting along each side of the island one behind the other, were rowing with huge cypress trees for oars— branches, leaves and all! ²⁵ Aft at the stern, as I suppose you would call it, stood the master on a high hill, holding a bronze tiller five furlongs in length. At the bow, about forty of them under arms were fighting; they were like men in all but their hair, which was fire and blazed up, so that they had no need of plumes. ²⁶ In lieu of sails, the wind struck the forest, which was dense on each of the islands, filled this and carried the island wherever the helmsman would. There were boatswains in command, to keep the oarsmen in time, and the islands moved swiftly under the rowing, like war-galleys.

[41] At first we only saw two or three, but later on about six hundred made their appearance. Taking sides, they went to war and had a sea-fight. Many collided with one another bows on, and many were rammed amidships and sunk. Some, grappling one another, put up a stout fight and were slow to cast off, for those stationed at the bows showed all zeal in boarding and slaying: no quarter was given. Instead of iron grapnels they threw aboard one another great devilfish with lines belayed to them, and these gripped the woods and held the island fast. They struck and wounded one another with oysters that would fill a wagon and with hundred-foot sponges.

[42] The leader of one side was Aeolocentaur, of the other, Brinedrinker. Their battle evidently came about on account of an act of piracy: Brinedrinker was said to have driven off many herds of dolphins belonging to Aeolocentaur. We knew this because we could hear them abusing one another and calling out the names of their kings. Finally the side of Aeolocentaur won; they sank about a hundred and fifty of the enemy’s islands; and took three more, crews and all; the rest backed water and fled. After pursuing them some distance, they turned back to the wrecks at evening, making prizes of most of them and picking up what belonged to themselves; for on their own side not less than eighty islands had gone down. They also made a trophy of the isle-fight by setting up one of the enemy’s islands on the head of the whale. That night they slept on shipboard around the animal, making their: shore lines fast to him and riding at anchor just off him; for they had anchors, large and strong, made of glass. ²⁷ On the following day they performed sacrifice on the whale, buried their. friends on him, and sailed off rejoicing and apparently singing hymns of victory. So much for the events of the isle-fight.

Athletes and physical trainers do not limit their attention to the questions of perfect condition and exercise; they say there is a time for relaxation also—which indeed they represent as the most important element in training. I hold it equally true for literary men that after severe study they should unbend the intellect, if it is to come perfectly efficient to its next task.

[2] The rest they want will best be found in a course of literature which does not offer entertainment pure and simple, depending on mere wit or felicity, but is also capable of stirring an educated curiosity—in a way which I hope will be exemplified in the following pages. They are intended to have an attraction independent of any originality of subject, any happiness of general design, any verisimilitude in the piling up of fictions. This attraction is in the veiled reference underlying all the details of my narrative; they parody the cock-and-bull stories of ancient poets, historians, and philosophers; I have only refrained from adding a key because I could rely upon you to recognize as you read.

[3] Ctesias, son of Ctesiochus of Cnidus, in his work on India and its characteristics, gives details for which he had neither the evidence of his eyes nor of hearsay. Iambulus’s Oceanica is full of marvels; the whole thing is a manifest fiction, but at the same time pleasant reading. Many other writers have adopted the same plan, professing to relate their own travels, and describing monstrous beasts, savages, and strange ways of life. The fount and inspiration of their humour is the Homeric Odysseus, entertaining Alcinous’s court with his prisoned winds, his men one-eyed or wild or cannibal, his beasts with many heads, and his metamorphosed comrades; the Phaeacians were simple folk, and he fooled them to the top of their bent.

[4] When I come across a writer of this sort, I do not much mind his lying; the practice is much too well established for that, even with professed philosophers; I am only surprised at his expecting to escape detection. Now I am myself vain enough to cherish the hope of bequeathing something to posterity; I see no reason for resigning my right to that inventive freedom which others enjoy; and, as I have no truth to put on record, having lived a very humdrum life, I fall back on falsehood—but falsehood of a more consistent variety; for I now make the only true statement you are to expect—that I am a liar. This confession is, I consider, a full defence against all imputations. My subject is, then, what I have neither seen, experienced, nor been told, what neither exists nor could conceivably do so. I humbly solicit my readers’ incredulity.

[5] Starting on a certain date from the Pillars of Heracles, I sailed with a fair wind into the Atlantic. The motives of my voyage were a certain intellectual restlessness, a passion for novelty, a curiosity about the limits of the ocean and the peoples who might dwell beyond it. This being my design, I provisioned and watered my ship on a generous scale. My crew amounted to fifty, all men whose interests, as well as their years, corresponded with my own. I had further provided a good supply of arms, secured the best navigator to be had for money, and had the ship—a sloop—specially strengthened for a long and arduous voyage.

[6] For a day and a night we were carried quietly along by the breeze, with land still in sight. But with the next day’s dawn the wind rose to a gale, with a heavy sea and a dark sky; we found ourselves unable to take in sail. We surrendered ourselves to the elements, let her run, and were storm-driven for more than eleven weeks. On the eightieth day the sun came out quite suddenly, and we found ourselves close to a lofty wooded island, round which the waves were murmuring gently, the sea having almost fallen by this time. We brought her to land, disembarked, and after our long tossing lay a considerable time idle on shore; we at last made a start, however, and leaving thirty of our number to guard the ship I took the other twenty on a tour of inspection.

[7] We had advanced half a mile inland through woods, when we came upon a brazen pillar, inscribed in Greek characters—which however were worn and dim—‘Heracles and Dionysus reached this point.’ Not far off were two footprints on rock; one might have been an acre in area, the other being smaller; and I conjecture that the latter was Dionysus’s, and the other Heracles’s; we did obeisance, and proceeded. Before we had gone far, we found ourselves on a river which ran wine; it was very like Chian; the stream full and copious, even navigable in parts. This evidence of Dionysus’s sojourn was enough to convince us that the inscription on the pillar was authentic. Resolving to find the source, I followed the river up, and discovered, instead of a fountain, a number of huge vines covered with grapes; from the root of each there issued a trickle of perfectly clear wine, the joining of which made the river. It was well stocked with great fish, resembling wine both in colour and taste; catching and eating some, we at once found ourselves intoxicated; and indeed when opened the fish were full of wine-lees; presently it occurred to us to mix them with ordinary water fish, thus diluting the strength of our spirituous food.

[8] We now crossed the river by a ford, and came to some vines of a most extraordinary kind. Out of the ground came a thick well-grown stem; but the upper part was a woman, complete from the loins upward. They were like our painters’ representations of Daphne in the act of turning into a tree just as Apollo overtakes her. From the finger-tips sprang vine twigs, all loaded with grapes; the hair of their heads was tendrils, leaves, and grape-clusters. They greeted us and welcomed our approach, talking Lydian, Indian, and Greek, most of them the last. They went so far as to kiss us on the mouth; and whoever was kissed staggered like a drunken man. But they would not permit us to pluck their fruit, meeting the attempt with cries of pain. Some of them made further amorous advances; and two of my comrades who yielded to these solicitations found it impossible to extricate themselves again from their embraces; the man became one plant with the vine, striking root beside it; his fingers turned to vine twigs, the tendrils were all round him, and embryo grape-clusters were already visible on him.

[9] We left them there and hurried back to the ship, where we told our tale, including our friends’ experiment in viticulture. Then after taking some casks ashore and filling them with wine and water we bivouacked near the beach, and next morning set sail before a gentle breeze. But about midday, when we were out of sight of the island, a waterspout suddenly came upon us, which swept the ship round and up to a height of some three hundred and fifty miles above the earth. She did not fall back into the sea, but was suspended aloft, and at the same time carried along by a wind which struck and filled the sails.

[10] For a whole week we pursued our airy course, and on the eighth day descried land; it was an island with air for sea, glistening, spherical, and bathed in light. We reached it, cast anchor, and landed; inspection soon showed that it was inhabited and cultivated. In the daytime nothing could be discerned outside of it; but night revealed many neighbouring islands, some larger and some smaller than ours; there was also another land below us containing cities, rivers, seas, forests, and mountains; and this we concluded to be our Earth.

[11] We were intending to continue our voyage, when we were discovered and detained by the Horse-vultures, as they are called. These are men mounted on huge vultures, which they ride like horses; the great birds have ordinarily three heads. It will give you some idea of their size if I state that each of their quill-feathers is longer and thicker than the mast of a large merchantman. This corps is charged with the duty of patrolling the land, and bringing any strangers it may find to the king; this was what was now done with us. The king surveyed us, and, forming his conclusions from our dress, ‘Strangers,’ said he, ‘you are Greeks, are you not?’ we assented. ‘And how did you traverse this vast space of air?’ In answer we gave a full account of ourselves, to which he at once replied with his own history. It seemed he too was a mortal, named Endymion, who had been conveyed up from our Earth in his sleep, and after his arrival had become king of the country; this was, he told us, what we knew on our Earth as the moon. He bade us be of good cheer and entertain no apprehensions; all our needs should be supplied.

[12] ‘And if I am victorious,’ he added, ‘in the campaign which I am now commencing against the inhabitants of the Sun, I promise you an extremely pleasant life at my court.’ We asked about the enemy, and the quarrel. ‘Phaethon,’ he replied, ‘king of the Sun (which is inhabited, like the Moon), has long been at war with us. The occasion was this: I wished at one time to collect the poorest of my subjects and send them as a colony to Lucifer, which is uninhabited. Phaethon took umbrage at this, met the emigrants half way with a troop of Horse-ants, and forbade them to proceed. On that occasion, being in inferior force, we were worsted and had to retreat; but I now intend to take the offensive and send my colony. I shall be glad if you will participate; I will provide your equipment and mount you on vultures from the royal coops; the expedition starts to-morrow.’ I expressed our readiness to do his pleasure.

[13] That day we were entertained by the king; in the morning we took our place in the ranks as soon as we were up, our scouts having announced the approach of the enemy. Our army numbered 100,000 (exclusive of camp-followers, engineers, infantry, and allies), the Horse-vultures amounting to 80,000, and the remaining 20,000 being mounted on Salad-wings. These latter are also enormous birds, fledged with various herbs, and with quill-feathers resembling Jettuce leaves. Next these were the Millet-throwers and the Garlic-men. Endymion had also a contingent from the North of 30,000 Flea-archers and 50,000 Wind-coursers. The former have their name from the great fleas, each of the bulk of a dozen elephants, which they ride. The Wind-coursers are infantry, moving through the air without wings; they effect this by so girding their shirts, which reach to the ankle, that they hold the wind like a sail and propel their wearers ship-fashion. These troops are usually employed as skirmishers. 70,000 Ostrich-slingers and 50,000 Horsecranes were said to be on their way from the stars over Cappadocia. But as they failed to arrive I did not actually see them; and’a description from hearsay I am not prepared to give, as the marvels related of them put some strain on belief.

[14] Such was Endymion’s force. They were all armed alike; their helmets were made of beans, which grow there of great size and hardness; the breastplates were of overlapping lupinehusks sewn together, these husks being as tough as horn; as to shields and swords, they were of the Greek type.

[15] When the time came, the array was as follows: on the right were the Horse-vultures, and the King with the élite of his forces, including ourselves. The Salad-wings held the left, and in the centre were the various allies. The infantry were in round numbers 60,000,000; they were enabled to fall in thus: there are in the Moon great numbers of gigantic spiders, considerably larger than an average Aegean island; these were instructed to stretch webs across from the Moon to Lucifer; as soon as the work was done, the King drew up his infantry on this artificial plain, entrusting the command to Nightbat, son of Fairweather, with two lieutenants.

[16] On the enemy’s side, Phaethon occupied the left with his Horse-ants; they are great winged animals resembling our ants except in size; but the largest of them would measure a couple of acres. The fighting was done not only by their riders; they used their horns also; their numbers were stated at 50,000. On their right was about an equal force of Sky-gnats—archers mounted on great gnats; and next them the Sky-pirouetters, light-armed infantry only, but of some military value; they slung monstrous’ radishes at long range, a wound from which was almost immediately fatal, turning to gangrene at once; they were supposed to anoint their missiles with mallow juice. Next came the Stalk-fungi, 10,000 heavy-armed troops for close quarters; the explanation of their name is that their shields are mushrooms, and their spears asparagus stalks. Their neighbours were the Dog-acorns, Phaethon’s contingent from Sirius. These were 5,000 in number, dog-faced men fighting on winged acorns. It was reported that Phaethon too was disappointed of the slingers whom he had summoned from the Milky Way, and of the Cloud-centaurs. These latter, however, arrived, most unfortunately for us, after the battle was decided; the slingers failed altogether, and are said to have felt the resentment of Phaethon, who wasted their territory with fire. Such was the force brought by the enemy.

[17] As soon as the standards were raised and the asses on both sides (their trumpeters) had brayed, the engagement commenced. The Sunite left at once broke without awaiting the onset of the Horse-vultures, and we pursued, slaying them. On the other hand, their right had the better of our left, the Skygnats pressing on right up to our infantry. When these joined in, however, they turned and fled, chiefly owing to the moral effect of our success on the other flank. The rout became decisive, great numbers were taken and slain, and blood flowed in great quantities on to the clouds, staining them as red as we see them at sunset; much of it also dropped earthwards, and suggested to me that it was possibly some ancient event of the same kind which persuaded Homer that Zeus had rained blood at the death of Sarpedon.

[18] Relinquishing the pursuit, we set up two trophies, one for the infantry engagement on the spiders’ webs, and one on the clouds for the air-battle. It was while we were thus engaged that our scouts announced the approach of the Cloud-centaurs, whom Phaethon had expected in time for the battle. They were indeed close upon us, and a strange sight, being compounded of winged horses and men; the human part, from the middle upwards, was as tall as the Colossus of Rhodes, and the equine the size of a large merchantman. Their number I cannot bring myself to write down, for fear of exciting incredulity. They were commanded by Sagittarius. Finding their friends defeated, they sent a messenger after Phaethon to bring him back, and, themselves in perfect order, charged the disarrayed Moonites, who had left their ranks and were scattered in pursuit or pillage; they routed the whole of them, chased the King home, and killed the greater part of his birds; they tore up the trophies, and overran the woven plain; I myself was taken, with two of my comrades. Phaethon now arrived, and trophies were erected on the enemy’s part. We were taken off to the Sun the same day, our hands tied behind with a piece of the cobweb.

[19] They decided not to lay siege to the city; but after their return they constructed a wall across the intervening space, cutting off the Sun’s rays from the Moon. This wall was double, and built of clouds; the consequence was total eclipse of the Moon, which experienced a continuous night. This severity forced Endymion to negotiate. He entreated that the wall might be taken down, and his kingdom released from this life of darkness; he offered to pay tribute, conclude an alliance, abstain from hostilities in future, and give hostages for these engagements. The Sunites held two assemblies on the question, in the first of which they refused all concessions; on the second day, however, they relented, and peace was concluded on the following terms.

[20] Articles of peace between the Sunites and their allies of the one part, and the Moonites and their allies of the other part. 1. The Sunites shall demolish the party-wall, shall make no further incursion into the Moon, and shall hold their captives to ransom at a fixed rate. 2. The Moonites shall restore to the other stars their autonomy, shall not bear arms against the Sunites, and shall conclude with them a mutual defensive alliance. 3. The King of the Moonites shall pay to the King of the Sunites, annually, a tribute of ten thousand jars of dew, and give ten thousand hostages of his subjects. 4. The high contracting parties shall found the colony of Lucifer in common, and shall permit persons of any other nationality to join the same. 5. These articles shall be engraved on a pillar of electrum, which shall be set up on the border ip mid-air.

Sworn to on behalf of the Sun by Firebrace, Heaton, and Flashman; and on behalf of the Moon by Nightwell, Monday, and Shimmer.

[21] Peace concluded, the removal of the wall and restoration of captives at once followed. As we reached the Moon, we were met and welcomed by our comrades and King Endymion, all weeping for joy. The King wished us to remain and take part in founding the colony, and, women not existing in the Moon, offered me his son in marriage. I refused, asking that we might be sent dawn to the sea again; and finding that he could not prevail, he entertained us for a week, and then sent us on our way.

[22] I am now to put on record the novelties and singularities which attracted my notice during our stay in the Moon.

[23] When a man becomes old, he does not die, but dissolves in smoke into the air. There is one universal diet; they light a fire, and .n the embers roast frogs, great numbers of which are always flying in the air; they then sit round as at table, snuffing up the fumes which rise and serve them for food; their drink is air compressed in a cup till it gives off a moisture resembling dew. Beauty with them consists in a bald head and hairless body; a good crop of hair is an abomination. On the comets, as I was told by some of their inhabitants who were there on a visit, this is reversed. They have beards, however, just above the knee; no toe-nails, and but one toe on each foot. They are all tailed, the tail being a large cabbage of an evergreen kind, which does not break if they fall upon it.

[24] Their mucus is a pungent honey; and after hard work or exercise they sweat milk all over, which a drop or two of the honey curdles into cheese. The oil which they make from onions is very rich, and as fragrant as balsam. They have an abundance of water-producing vines, the stones of which resemble hailstones; and my own belief is that it is the shaking of these vines by hurricanes, and the consequent bursting of the grapes, that results in our hailstorms, They use the belly as a pouch in which to keep necessaries, being able to open and shut it. It contains no intestines or liver, only a soft hairy lining; their young, indeed, creep into it for protection from cold.

[25] The clothing of the wealthy is soft glass, and of the poor, woven brass; the land is very rich in brass, which they work like wool after steeping it in water. It is with some hesitation that I describe their eyes, the thing being incredible enough to bring doubt upon my veracity. But the fact is that these organs are removable; any one can take out his eyes and do without till he wants them; then he has merely to put them in; I have known many cases of people losing their own and borrowing at need; and some—the rich, naturally—keep a large stock. Their ears are plane-leaves, except with the breed raised from acorns; theirs being of wood.

[26] Another marvel I saw in the palace. There is a large mirror suspended over a well of no great depth; any one going down the well can hear every word spoken on our Earth; and if he looks at the mirror, he sees every city and nation as plainly as though he were standing close above each. The time I was there, I surveyed my own people and the whole of my native country; whether they saw me also, I cannot say for certain. Any one who doubts the truth of this statement has only to go there himself, to be assured of my veracity.

[27] When the time came, we took our leave of King and court, got on board, and weighed anchor. Endymion’s parting gifts to me were two glass shirts, five of brass, and a suit of lupine armour, all of which, however, I afterwards left in the whale’s belly; he also sent, as our escort for the first fifty miles, a thousand of his Horse-vultures.

[28] We passed on our way many countries, and actually landed on Lucifer, now in process of settlement, to water. We then entered the Zodiac and passed the Sun on the left, coasting close by it. My crew were very desirous of landing, but the wind would not allow of this. We had a good view of the country, however, and found it covered with vegetation, rich, well-watered, and full of all good things. The Cloud-centaurs, now in Phaethon’s pay, espied us and pounced upon the ship, but left us alone when they learned that we were parties to the treaty.

[29] By this time our escort had gone home. We now took a downward course, and twenty-four hours’ sailing brought us to Lampton. This lies between the atmospheres of the Pleiads and the Hyads, though in point of altitude it is considerably lower than the Zodiac. When we landed, we found no human beings, but numberless lamps bustling about or spending their time in the market-place and harbour; some were small, and might represent the lower classes, while a few, the great and powerful, were exceedingly bright and conspicuous. They all had their own homes or lodgings, and their individual names, like us; we heard them speak, and they did us no harm, offering us entertainment, on the contrary; but we were under some apprehension, and none of us accepted either food or bed. There is a Government House in the middle of the city, where the Governor sits all night long calling the roll-call; any one not answering to his name is capitally punished as a deserter; that is to say, he is extinguished. We were present and witnessed the proceedings, and heard lamps defending their conduct and advancing reasons for their lateness. I there recognized our own house lamp, accosted him, and asked for news of my friends, in which he satisfied me. We stayed there that night, set sail next morning, and found ourselves sailing, now, nearly as low as the clouds, Here we were surprised to find Cloud-cuckoo-land; we were prevented from landing by the direction of the wind, but learned that the King’s name was Crookbeak, son of Fitz-Ousel. I bethought me of Aristophanes, the learned and veracious poet whose statements had met with unmerited incredulity. Three days more, and we had a distinct view of the Ocean, though there was no land visible except the islands suspended in air; and these had now assumed a brilliant fiery hue. About noon on the fourth day the wind slackened and fell, and we were deposited upon the sea.

[30] The joy and delight with which the touch of water affected us is indescribable; transported at our good fortune, we flung ourselves overboard and swam, the weather being calm and the sea smooth. Alas, how often is a change for the better no more than the beginning of disaster! We had but two days’ delightful sail, and by the rising sun of the third we beheld a crowd of whales and marine monsters, and among them one far larger than the rest—some two hundred miles in length. It came on open-mouthed, agitating the sea far in front, bathed in foam, and exhibiting teeth whose length much surpassed the height of our great phallic images, all pointed like sharp stakes and white as elephants’ tusks. We gave each other a last greeting, took a last embrace, and so awaited our doom. The monster was upon us; it sucked us in; it swallowed ship and crew entire. We escaped being ground by its teeth, the ship gliding in through the interstices.

[31] Inside, all was darkness at first, in which we could distinguish nothing; but when it next opened its mouth, an enormous cavern was revealed, of great extent and height; a city of ten thousand inhabitants might have had room in it. Strewn about were small fish, the disjecta membra of many kinds of animal, ships’ masts and anchors, human bones, and merchandise; in the centre was land with hillocks upon it, the alluvial deposit, I supposed, from what the whale swallowed. This was wooded with trees of all kinds, and vegetables were growing with all the appearance of cultivation. The coast might have measured thirty miles round. Sea-birds, such as gulls and halcyons, nested on the trees.

[32] We spent some time weeping, but at last got our men up and had the ship made fast, while we rubbed wood to get a fire and prepared a meal out of the plentiful materials around us; there were fragments of various fish, and the water we had taken in at Lucifer was unexhausted. Upon getting up next day, we caught glimpses, as often as the whale opened his mouth, of land, of mountains, it might be of the sky alone, or often of islands; we realized that he was dashing at a great rate to every part of the sea. We grew accustomed to our condition in time, and I then took seven of my comrades and entered the wood in search of information. I had scarcely gone half a mile when I came upon a shrine, which its inscription showed to have been raised to Posidon; a little further were a number of graves with pillars upon them, and close by a spring of clear water; we also heard a dog bark, saw some distant smoke, and conjectured that there must be a habitation.

[33] We accordingly pressed on, and found ourselves in presence of an old man and a younger one, who were working hard at a plot of ground and watering it by a channel from the spring. We stood still, divided between fear and delight. They were standing speechless, no doubt with much the same feelings. At length the old man spoke:—‘What are you, strangers; are you spirits of the sea, or unfortunate mortals like ourselves? As for us, we are men, bred on land; but now we have suffered a sea change, and swim about in this containing monster, scarce knowing how to describe our state; reason tells us we are dead, but instinct that we live.? This loosed my tongue in turn. ‘We too, father,’ I said, ‘are men, just arrived; it is but a day or two since we were swallowed with our ship. And now we have come forth to explore the forest; for we saw that it was vast and dense. Methinks some heavenly guide has brought us to the sight of you, to the knowledge that we are not prisoned all alone in this monster. I pray you, let us know your tale, who you are and how you entered.’ Then he said that, before he asked or answered questions, he must give us such entertainment as he could; so saying, he brought us to his house—a sufficient dwelling furnished with beds and what else he might need—, and set before us green-stuff and nuts and fish, with wine for drink. When we had eaten our fill, he asked for our story. I told him all as it had passed, the storm, the island, the airy voyage, the war, and so to our descent into the whale.

[34] It was very strange, he said, and then gave us his history in return. ‘I am a Cyprian, gentlemen. I left my native land on a trading voyage with my son here and a number of servants. We had a fine ship, with a mixed cargo for Italy; you may have seen the wreckage in the whale’s mouth. We had a fair voyage to Sicily, but on leaving it were caught in a gale, and carried in three days out to the Atlantic, where we fell in with the whale and were swallowed, ship and crew; of the latter we two alone survived. We buried our men, built a temple to Posidon, and now live this life, cultivating our garden, and feeding on fish and nuts. It is a great wood, as you see, and in it are vines in plenty, from which we get delicious wine; our spring you may have noticed; its water is of the purest and coldest. We use leaves for bedding, keep a good fire, snare the birds that fly in, and catch living fish by going out on the monster’s gills; it is there also that we take our bath when we are disposed. There is moreover at no great distance a salt lake two or three miles round, producing all sorts of fish; in this we swim and sail, in a little boat of my building. It is now seven and twenty years since we were swallowed.

[35] ‘Our lot might have been endurable enough, but we have bad and troublesome neighbours, unfriendly savages all.’ ‘What,’ said I, ‘are there other inhabitants?’ ‘A great many,” he replied, ‘inhospitable and abhorrent to the sight. The western part of the wood (so to name the caudal region) is occupied by the Stockfish tribe; they have eels’ eyes and lobster faces, are bold warriors, and eat their meat raw. Of the sides of the cavern, the right belongs to the Tritonomendetes, who from the waist upwards are human, and weazels below; their notions of justice are slightly less rudimentary than the others’. The left is in possession of the Crabhands and the Tunnyheads, two tribes in close alliance. The central part is inhabited by the Crays and the Flounderfoots, the latter warlike and extremely swift. As to this district near the mouth, the East, as it were, it is in great part desert, owing to the frequent inundations. I hold it of the Flounderfoots, paying an annual tribute of five hundred oysters.

[36] ‘Such is the land; and now it is for you to consider how we may make head against all these tribes, and what shall be our manner of life.’ ‘What may their numbers be, all told?’ I asked. ‘More than a thousand.’ ‘And how armed?’ ‘They have no arms but fishbones.’ ‘Why then,’ I said, ‘let us fight them by all means; we are armed, and they are not; and, if we win, we shall live secure.’ We agreed on this course, and returned to the ship to make our preparations. The pretext for war was to be non-payment of the tribute, which was on the point of falling due. Messengers, in fact, shortly came to demand it, but the old man sent them about their business with an insolent answer. The Flounderfoots and Crays were enraged, and commenced operations with a tumultuous inroad upon Scintharus—this was our old man’s name.

[37] Expecting this, we were awaiting the attack in full armour, We had put five and twenty men in ambush, with directions to fall on the enemy’s fear as soon as they had passed; they executed their orders, and came on from behind cutting them down, while the rest of us—five and twenty also, including Scintharus and his son—met them face to face with a spirited and resolute attack. It was risky work, but in the end we routed and chased them to their dens. They left one hundred and seventy dead, while we lost only our navigating officer, stabbed in the back with a mullet rib, and one other.

[38] We held the battlefield for the rest of that day and the night following, and erected a trophy consisting of a dolphin’s backbone upright. Next day the news brought the other tribes out, with the Stockfish under a general called Slimer on the right, the Tunnyheads on the left, and the Crabhands in the centre; the Tritonomendetes stayed at home, preferring neutrality. We did not wait to be attacked, but charged them near Posidon’s temple with loud shouts, which echoed as in a subterranean cave. Their want of armour gave us the victory; we pursued them to the wood, and were henceforth masters.

[39] Soon after, they sent heralds to treat for recovery of their dead, and for peace. But we decided to make no terms with them, and marching out next day exterminated the whole, with the exception of the Tritonomendetes. These too, when they saw what was going on, made a rush for the gills, and cast themselves into the sea. We went over the country, now clear of enemies, and occupied it from that time in security. Our usual employments were exercise, hunting, vine-dressing, and fruit-gathering; we were in the position of men in a vast prison from which escape is out of the question, but within which they have luxury and freedom of movement. This manner of life lasted for a year and eight months.

[40] It was on the fifth of the next month, about the second gape (the whale, I should say, gaped regularly once an hour, and we reckoned time that way)—about the second gape, then, a sudden shouting and tumult became audible; it sounded like boatswains giving the time and oars beating. Much excited, we crept right out into our monster’s mouth, stood inside the teeth, and beheld the most extraordinary spectacle I ever looked upon—giants of a hundred yards in height rowing great islands as we do triremes. I am aware that what I am to relate must sound improbable; but I cannot help it. Very long islands they were, but of no great height; the circumference of each would be about eleven miles; and its complement of giants was some hundred and twenty. Of these some sat along each side of the island, rowing with big cypresses, from which the branches and leaves were not stripped; in the stern, so to speak, was a considerable hillock, on which stood the helmsman with his hand on a brazen steering-oar of half a mile in length; ° and on the deck forward were forty in armour, the combatants; they resembled men except in their hair, which was flaming fire, so that they could dispense with helmets. The work of sails was done by the abundant forest on all the islands, which so caught and held the wind that it drove them where the steersman wished; there was a boatswain timing the stroke, and the islands jumped to it like great galleys.

[41] We had seen only two or three at first; but there appeared afterwards as many as six hundred, which formed in two lines and commenced an action. Many crashed into each other stem to stem, many were rammed and sunk, others grappled, fought an obstinate duel, and could hardly get clear after it. Great courage was shown by the troops on deck, who boarded and dealt destruction, giving no quarter. Instead of grapplingirons, they used huge captive squids, which they swung out on to the hostile island; these grappled the wood and so held the island fast. Their missiles, effective enough, were oysters the size of waggons, and sponges which might cover an acre.

[42] Aeolocentaur and Thalassopot were the names of the rival chiefs; and the question between them was one of plunder; Thalassopot was supposed to have driven off several herds of dolphins, the other’s property; we could hear them vociferating the charge and calling out their Kings’ names. Aeolocentaur’s fleet finally won, sinking one hundred and fifty of the enemy’s islands and capturing three with their crews; the remainder backed away, turned and fled. The victors pursued some way, but, as it was now evening, returned to the disabled ones, secured most of the enemy’s, and recovered their own, of which as many as eighty had been sunk. As a trophy of victory they slung one of the enemy’s islands to a stake which they planted in our whale’s head. They lay moored round him that night, attaching cables to him or anchoring hard by; they had vast glass anchors, very strong. Next morning they sacrificed on the whale’s back, buried their dead there, and sailed off rejoicing, with something corresponding to .ur paean. So ended the battle of the islands.

[1] Athletes and those who pay attention to bodily training do not bestow all their care on securing a vigorous condition or on active exercise. They give some of it to the question of seasonable relaxation; in fact, they conceive this to be a very important part of their training. In just the same way I believe it to be fitting for those engaged with literature to relax their minds after a prolonged reading of the more weighty authors, and render them more vigorous for subsequent labor.

[2] And this period of relaxation. would be more profitable for such persons if they should spend it over works which do not merely furnish pastime by their wit and charm, but which exhibit also some clever train of thought. This is the ideal I propose to myself for the following pages. For the novelty of the idea and the charm of the subject will not be their only attraction, nor yet the persuasive, consistent way in which I set forth lies of all sorts, but the fact that each of the events I record is a parody of some of the poets and historians and philosophers of antiquity, who wrote such wonderful and fabulous histories. I would even insert their names if they were not going to disclose themselves to your own mind as you read.

[3] Ktesias, the Knidian, son of Ktesiochos, wrote an account of the countries of the Indians and their manners and customs, which he never saw himself or heard of from any one else. And Iambulus, too, wrote an astonishing account of things in the Atlantic Ocean. It is patent to all that he drew on his imagination, but he carried out his design pleasantly enough. Many other writers, too, have chosen the same subjects and written on them, assuming to give an account of their own wanderings and journeys, and the size of the beasts they saw, and the savagery of the people and their strange ways of life. The founder of the sect, the teacher of all this tomfoolery, was Homer's Odysseus, who talked to Alkinous and his people about the servitude of the winds; and one-eyed people who eat raw flesh and live barbarously; yes, and of creatures with a plurality of heads, and of transformations wrought on his companions by drugs. Any amount of such marvels he described to the Phaeacians, as if they were greenhorns.

[4] Now, when I fell in with all these works, I did not greatly blame the men for their lying, because I saw at once that this was the habit of those even who promise to write philosophy. But the one thing that filled me with wonder at them was that they believed their falsifications undetected. Accordingly, I too, since my vanity made me eager to leave something for posterity, was not going to be the only one without a share in the story-teller's license, and as I had nothing true to relate for I have had no experiences worth telling-I turned myself to lying far more consistently than the others. For the one true statement I shall make is this: that everything I say will be a lie. In this way I think I should even escape the arraignment of others, since I admit myself that there is not a true word in what I say. Well, then, my book deals with things I neither saw nor lived through myself, nor learned from others things, moreover, which absolutely do not exist, nor could possibly. Wherefore my readers must put no manner of trust in them.

[5] I once made a voyage, setting forth from the Pillars of Hercules into the Western Ocean, with a following wind. The cause of my journey and my object in making it were the restless curiosity of my mind, a yearning for novelties, and a desire to learn what is the boundary of the ocean, and what sort of people dwell on the other side. To this end I stored a ship with a great quantity of provisions, put plenty of water, too, aboard, secured fifty of my comrades who were of my way of thinking, laid in, moreover, a good stock of weapons, furnished myself with an excellent ship's master at high wages, and had the vessel—she was a light-built, fast-sailing craft — put in repair as though for a long, hard voyage.

[6] Well, we sailed for a day and a night with a favorable wind, still in sight of land and making no great progress. But as the sun rose on the next day the wind increased, the sea rose, it grew dark, and it became impossible even to take in the sails. Accordingly, we surrendered ourselves to the wind, and were storm-tossed for seventynine days; but on the eightieth the sun suddenly shone out, and we perceived an island at no great distance, high and wooded, with no fierce breakers thundering about it, for the sea had already greatly subsided. So we brought the ship to land and disembarked, and for some time we lay on the ground, as was natural after our long distress. But when we had got upon our feet we chose out thirty of our number to stay and guard the ship, and twenty to go inland with me and reconnoitre the island.

[7] When we had advanced as much as six hundred yards from the sea through the woods we saw a pillar of wrought brass, bearing an inscription in Greek characters, blurred and rubbed away, which read: "Herakles and Dionysos came to this point." And there were two footprints in the rock close by--one a hundred feet long, the other smaller. I have no doubt that one of them, the smaller, was left by Dionysos, the other by Herakles. We paid our devotions and went forward. We had not gone far when we came to a river flowing with wine-more like the wine of Chios than any other. The stream was full and wide, so that in some places it was navigable. So it came home to us more than ever that we must believe the legend on the pillar when we saw these signs of Dionysos's passage that way. I made up my mind to explore the source of the river and ascended along the stream; but I found no spring, only a quantity of great vines full of grapes, with a drop of translucent wine trickling from the root of each, and from these the river took its rise. There were also a quantity of fish to be seen in it, very like wine in color and taste. In fact we got drunk from eating some of them that we caught, and we actually found them full of lees when we cut them open. Later, however, we bethought ourselves of the other sort of fish that live in water, and by mixing the two we mitigated the strength of our wine food.

[9] We took some jars, and laid in a supply of water and of wine, too, from the river, and having encamped near it on the beach for the night, we set sail at daybreak with a gentle breeze. But about noonday, when we had lost sight of the island, a whirlwind suddenly arose, spun the ship around, lifted her four hundred miles in the air, and did not set her back in the sea again; but as she was hanging aloft in the air a wind struck the sails, filled the canvas, and bore her on.

[10] For seven days and as many nights we coursed through the air, and on the eighth we saw a great earth in the air like an island, bright and round, and shining with a great light. We made for it, came to anchor, and went ashore. On examining the country we found it inhabited and cultivated. By day we could see nothing from it, but when night came on many other islands appeared in the neighborhood, some larger and some smaller, of the color of fire, and a certain other earth below them with cities on it, and rivers and seas and forests and mountains. This we judged was our own.

[11] We determined to go still farther into the interior, but we met some of the Hippogyps, as they call themselves, and they arrested us. These Hippogyps are men riding on great vultures, using the birds like horses, for the vultures are large and for the most part three-headed. You may understand their size from this: each of their feathers is longer and thicker than the mast of a good-sized merchantman. Now it was the business of our Hippogyps to fly about the country, and, if they found a stranger, bring him to the king. Accordingly, they took us in charge and brought us to him. When he had looked at us, he said: "I see, strangers, that you are Greeks.” For he judged from our appearance and clothing. Upon our replying that we were, he asked: "How, then, have you come hither, traversing such a waste of air?" We told him our whole story, and then he began in turn and told us about himself: how he, too, was a man, Endymion by name, and had once been snatched up from our earth in his sleep, and, arriving here, had become king of the country. He said that this earth was what appeared to us below to be the moon. But he bade us take heart and suspect no danger, for we should have everything we wanted.

[12] "If," said he, "I bring to a successful issue the war I am now waging against the inhabitants of the Sun, you will find this the pleasantest place of residence in the universe." We asked who the enemy were and what was the matter in dispute. "Phaeton," said he, "the king of the Sun-folk -for the Sun is inhabited as well as the Moonhas been at war with us for a long time already. It began from this cause: I had collected the poorest of my subjects and planned to send them off to colonize the Morning-star, which is a wilderness, uninhabited by any one. Now Phaeton, in his jealousy, stopped the colonists, meeting them half-way on their journey with his Antcavalry. On that occasion we were beaten— for our numbers were not equal to theirs-and we retired, but now I want to march out again and convoy the colonists. So, if it be agreeable to you, join my expedition. I will furnish you with a vulture apiece from the royal stables and the rest of your equipment. We shall set out tomorrow." "We are at your service," said I.

[13] He then invited us to supper, and we spent the night with him. [Here follows a detailed account of the extraordinary troops marshalled by Endymion and Phaeton, and the manner in which the battle was fought, the Moonites defeated, and the hero taken prisoner with two of his companions. The victorious Sun-folk built a wall between their country and the Moon, cutting off the sunlight, so that Endymion's people were forced to sue for peace, which was granted on easy terms, the chief stipulations being that the Moon should pay a yearly tribute of a hundred thousand gallons of dew, and that the Morning-star should be settled by colonists from the Sun as well as the Moon, and any one else who cared to join them.]

[21] Such were the terms of the peace. The wall was forthwith torn down, and we prisoners-of-war were surrendered. On our return to the Moon our comrades and Endymion himself came out to meet us, and embraced us with tears; and he asked me to stay there and join his colony, promising to give me his own child in marriage. However, I by no means listened to him, but begged him to convey me down into the sea again; and when he saw it was impossible to move me he sent us off after feasting us for seven days.

[27] Then, after making our adieux to the king and his people, we embarked and set sail. On me Endymion also bestowed some gifts, two of their crystal tunics, five bronze ones, and a suit of beanarmor-all of which I left in the whale. He sent also a thousand Hippogyps to escort us fifty miles.

[28] On our voyage we sailed past a number of places, and put in at the Morning-star, which we had just helped to colonize, and disembarked and took in water. Going aboard again we made off into the Zodiac on the left, all but touching the Sun as we sailed past. We did not go ashore, though many of my mates were eager to, for the wind did not permit it. However, we saw the country, which was blooming, rich, well-watered, and full of all pleasant things. When the Cloud-centaurs, who are mercenaries of Phaeton, saw us, they flew towards the ship; but, on learning that we were allies, they withdrew.

[29] The Hippogyps, too, had already left us. After sailing all the next night and day we arrived towards evening at what is called Lamptown, having already entered upon our downward course. This city lies between the tracts of the Pleiades and the Hyades, a good deal lower than the Zodiac. Here we disembarked, but we found no human being, only a multitude of lamps running about and transacting business in the market-place and on the wharves. Some were small, the lower classes, as it were; but a few were large and of high rank, and these were brilliant, and could be seen afar. Each of them had his own private residence or lantern, and a name, like a man, and we heard them utter speech. They offered us no injury, but even invited us to be their guests. Still we were afraid of them, and not one of us dared either to sit at table or pass the night with them. They have erected a palace in the midst of the city, and there the ruler sits all night, calling on each by name. If any one does not respond, he is condemned to death as having deserted his post. Death with them is to be extinguished. We were present and saw what happened, and heard the lamps defending themselves and explaining the reasons for their tardiness. There I recognized also the lamp from our house, and, addressing him, asked him how things were going on at home, and he gave me a full account. We spent that one night there, and the next day we put out to sea again, being already nearer the clouds. And there we saw Cloudcuckootown (to our amazement), but we did not put in, as the wind was in the wrong direction. But Crow, son of Blackbird, was said to be on the throne, and I bethought me of Aristophanes the poet, a grave man and truthful, and one whose writings have been unworthily discredited. On the third day thereafter we also got plain sight of the ocean, but no land was anywhere to be seen save those islands in the air, and they had already taken on a fiery, dazzling look. On the fourth day, about noon, the wind fell gently and subsided, and we sank onto the sea.

[30] When we touched the water it was wonderful to see the excesses of our joy and delight. We made what cheer our means would allow, and sprang overboard and swam about, for there happened to be a calm and the sea was quiet. But a change for the better seems to be often the beginning of greater evils, and so it was in our case. For two days only we sailed with fine weather, and at daybreak, on the third, just before sunrise, we suddenly sighted a great number of sea-monsters and whales, with one among them bigger than all the rest, a hundred and seventy miles long. It came on with its mouth yawning open, making wide commotion in the sea, scattering foam in all directions, and showing its great teeth. They were all as sharp as pickets and white as ivory. Well, we said our last farewells, embraced each other, and waited. The creature was already alongside, and swallowed us down at a gulp, ship and all. However, it did not close its teeth in time to crush us, but the ship slipped in through the openings.

[31] When we were within, all was dark at first, and we saw nothing; but presently the creature opened its mouth, and we beheld a great cavern, so broad in all directions and so high that it might have held a city of ten thousand souls. In the midst lay the fragments of small fish and other animals, sails of ships, anchors, human bones, and merchandise; and down the middle there was dry land, with hills formed, I suppose, by the settling of the mud the creature drank down. At all events, there were woods on it, and plants of all sorts grew there and vegetables had sprung up, so that it was in all respects like tilled soil. The circumference of the land was twenty-seven miles. We could also see sea-fowl, gulls, and halcyons building nests in the trees.

[32] Well, at first we wept a long time, but by-andby I roused my comrades and we propped the ship. Then we rubbed dry sticks together and made a fire, and cooked a meal of anything we could lay our hands on. There was an abundance of fish at hand of all sorts, and we still had some of the water we had laid in at the Morning-star. Next morning when we arose, every time the whale opened its mouth we saw now land, now mountains, now sky alone, and often islands. By this we perceived the creature was rushing swiftly through all parts of the sea. When we had already grown accustomed to this manner of life, I took seven of my companions and made my way into the forest, wishing to explore it thoroughly. I had not gone a thousand yards before I came upon a temple dedicated to Poseidon, as the inscription showed, and shortly after a number of graves with headstones, and near by a spring of clear water. Moreover, we heard the barking of a dog, and perceived smoke rising in the distance, so that we judged there must be a habitation of some sort.

[33] Accordingly, we hastened our steps, and came upon an old man and a young one working very industriously in a garden-plot, and watering it with water from the spring. We halted, overjoyed, and at the same time filled with fear, and they must have had the same feeling towards us, for they stood speechless. But presently the old man said, "Who are you, strangers? Are you," said he, "some of the gods of the sea, or ill-fated mortals like ourselves? For we are men, and we were reared on dry land; but now we have become sea-dwellers, and we swim about in company with this monster who encloses us, not rightly knowing what condition we are in; for reason tells us we are dead, and yet we believe we are alive." In answer to this I, too, spoke: "We, too, are men, father-new-comers, at your service. We were gulped down, the other day, ship and all. We are making this expedition for the sake of knowing what is in the forest, for it seemed large and thickly wooded. Some god, I think, led us, so that we might see you, and know that we are not the only men penned up in this monster. But come, tell us your story-who you are and how you came hither." But he said he would neither give nor seek information until he had offered us such hospitality as was in his power; so he took possession of us and led us to his dwelling, which was tolerably made, with beds built in it and furnished with the other necessaries. He set before us vegetables and fruits and fish, and poured out wine for us, too; and when we had eaten our fill, he inquired what our adventures had been. I related them all in order-the storm, our experiences on the island, our voyage in the air, the war, everything up to our engulfment by the whale.

[34] He was greatly astonished, and in turn gave us an account of his own fortunes. "By birth, friends, I am a Cypriote. Being engaged in commerce, I set out from my native land with my boy, whom you see, and a number of slaves as well, and sailed for Italy, carrying a cargo of all sorts of wares in a large ship, which you perhaps saw lying in fragments at the whale's mouth. Well, as far as Sicily we had a favorable voyage, but there a tempest fell upon us and drove us three days out to sea, where we fell in with the whale and were swallowed bodily. We two alone were saved; all the others perished. We buried our comrades and built the temple to Poseidon, and then we fell into our present mode of life, tilling our kitchen-garden, and eating fish and fruits. The forest, as you see, is extensive, and there are actually quantities of grapes in it, which make the sweetest wine. The spring, too, which perhaps you know, gives very clear and cold water. We make our bed of leaves; we have no lack of fire; we capture the birds that fly in; we take alive the fish that find their way into the monster's gills; and there, too, we bathe when we wish. There is a salt lake, also, not far off, more than two miles in circumference, stocked with fish of all sorts. There we swim and sail, too, in a small skiff that I built myself. This is the twenty-seventh year since we were swallowed.

[35] As far as these things go, our life was perhaps tolerable; but our neighbors, the people who live near us, are extremely rough and violent, for they are savages who have never had commerce with civilization." "What!" said I, "are there, then, still other men in the whale?" "Numbers of them," said he, "inhospitable and barbarous in their manners. The western territory towards the tail is inhabited by the Driedherring folk, an eel-eyed, lobster-faced race, warlike, fierce, and eaters of raw flesh. On the other side, towards the right, are the Triton-weasels, who are like men above but like weasels below. However, they are less unruly than the others. On the left are the Crabclaws and the Tunnyheads, who have made a friendly alliance between themselves. The country between is inhabited by the Crayfish and the Skaitfeet, a warlike race and very swift in running. The eastern part towards the mouth consists of waste deserts washed by the sea. But this region I hold, paying the Skaitfeet a yearly tribute of five hundred oysters.

[36] Such is the nature of the country; it is for you to see to it that we may be able to hold our own in war with so many tribes and get our living." "What are their numbers in all?" said I. "More than a thousand," he replied. "And what arms have they?" "None," said he, "except fish-bones." "Very well, then," I said; "it would be best to engage them in battle, for they are unarmed and we are armed. If we overcome them we shall dwell without fear of molestation for the future." This course was determined on, and we went back to the ship and made ourselves ready. The day for paying the tribute was at hand, and we were going to make a refusal to pay it the ground of war. Sure enough, the savages sent messengers to demand the tribute, but our friends answered them scornfully and chased them away. The Skaitfeet and the Crayfish were the first to advance, furious with Skintharos-for that was his name—and making a great noise.

[37] But we had suspected their attack, and awaited them fully armed, having sent forward an ambuscade of twenty-five men. The order given to the men in ambush was that when they perceived the enemy had passed by they should spring out, and this is what they did. Springing out, they fell upon them from the rear; and we ourselves, who were also twenty-five in number (for Skintharos and his son fought with us), met them in front and joined battle, fighting desperately with might and main; and finally we put them to flight and chased them to their caves. The enemy lost one hundred and seventy men; we lost one, and the pilot was wounded in the back with the rib of a mullet.

[38] That day and night we encamped on the battle-field, and raised a trophy by fixing the dried spine of a dolphin upright. But the next day all the others who had learned what was going on presented themselves. The Dried-herrings were on the right wing, with Pelamos in command, the Tunnyheads were on the left, and the Crab-claws occupied the centre. The Triton-weasels remained neutral, not choosing to join either side. We took the initiative, advanced to meet them, and engaged with a great shout close by the temple of Poseidon. The hollow chamber echoed our cry as if it had been a cavern. We routed them, unarmed as they were, and chasing them into the depths of the forest, made ourselves masters of the rest of the country.

[39] Soon after they sent messengers, who gathered up their dead and discussed an alliance; but we decided not to treat with them. On the contrary, we marched against them next day, and literally cut them to pieces, with the exception of the Triton-weasels. These, when they saw what had happened, rushed out through the gills and threw themselves into the sea. We marched into the country, stripped already of enemies, and dwelt securely thereafter, instituting exercises of various sorts and hunting; and we cultivated the vines, and gathered the fruits from the trees, and were in every respect like well-fed prisoners left at large in a great prison, from which escape was impossible. We lived in this fashion for a year and eight months;

[40] but on the fifth day of the ninth month I rose at about the second yawning of the whale -for he opened his mouth once in every hour, so that we reckoned our time by it—well, about the second yawning, as I said, a sudden great uproar was heard, and what sounded like the commands of officers and the rhythmic cry of rowers. Startled, as you may suppose, we crept up to the very mouth of the monster, and standing inside the teeth, we beheld the most amazing sight I ever saw-namely, giants a hundred yards tall, sailing towards one another on huge islands as if they were triremes. Now I know that what I am going to recount will seem highly incredible, nevertheless I shall tell it. The islands were long, but not particularly high, and each was as much as twelve miles in circumference. About twenty-eight of the giants sailed on each, part of them seated in order on either side, and rowing with great pine-treesbranches, leaves and all—for oars. Aft, as if on the poop, stood the pilot on a high hill, handling a bronze rudder five hundred yards long. At the prow stood as many as forty in armor, fighting. They were like men in all respects save their hair, but that was of flaming fire, so that they had no need of helmets. They had no sails, but the wind, striking against the trees, which grew in forests on each, filled them, and drove the island whithersoever the pilot wished. A boatswain stood over the rowers to give them their time, and the islands moved quickly at his order like so many great ships.

[41] At first we saw only two or three islands, but afterwards as many as six hundred appeared, ranged themselves in opposition, and began a naval battle. Many dashed against each other's prows, many were run into and sunk, but some grappled and fought vigorously, and could not easily be shaken off, for the warriors at the prow showed the greatest spirit in boarding the other vessel and killing her men, but no one took a prisoner alive. Instead of grappling-irons they threw great polyps, fastened one to another. These entangled themselves in the trees and so held the island itself. Their missiles and weapons were oysters large enough to fill a cart and sponges thirty yards round.

[42] The commander on one side was Fleet-foot, on the other Sea-Drinker. The cause of the battle appeared to be a dispute about plunder, for Sea-Drinker was said to have driven off many herds of dolphins belonging to Fleetfoot, as we could hear from what they shouted to one another, and in the same way we learned the names of the kings. Finally, Fleet-foot and his party were victorious, and they sank about a hundred and fifty of the enemy's islands and captured three more with their crews, but the others backed water and fled. The victors gave chase for a while, but when evening had fallen they returned to where the débris floated, took possession of most of the enemies' belongings and recovered their own; for not less than eighty of their own islands had sunk. They also raised a trophy in honor of the victory on the whale's head, by setting one of the enemy's islands on a post. That night they encamped round the whale, floating close by, having fastened their hawsers and anchors to him, for they had anchors, too-large ones made of glass and very strong. The next day they sacrificed on the whale, buried their comrades on him, and sailed off rejoicing and apparently singing a song of victory. Such are the details of the island engagement.