Search the Perseus Catalog for:

View: By Section

← Previous Next →

Τίνʼ ἐστὶν ἃ Ξενοφῶν παρὰ πότον ἣδιον ἐρωτᾶσθαί φησι καὶ σκώπτεσθαι ἢ μή.

[1] 5 δέκα δὲ προβλημάτων εἰς ἕκαστον νενεμημένων βιβλίον, ἐν τούτῳ πρῶτόν ἐστιν ὃ¹ τρόπον τινὰ Ξενοφῶν² ὁ Σωκρατικὸς ἡμῖν προβέβληκε. τὸν 629f γὰρ Γωβρύαν φησὶ συνδειπνοῦντα τῷ Κύρῳ τὰ τʼ 10 ἄλλα θαυμάζειν τῶν Περσῶν, καὶ ὅτι τοιαῦτα μὲν ἀλλήλους ἐπηρώτων ἃ³ ἥδιον ἦν ἐρωτηθῆναι ἢ μή, ἔσκωπτον δʼ ἃ⁴⁵ σκωφθῆναι κάλλιον ἢ μὴ⁶· εἰ γὰρ ἐπαινοῦντες ἕτεροι πολλάκις λυποῦσι⁷ καὶ προσίστανται, πῶς οὐκ ἄξιον ἦν ἄγασθαι· τὴν εὐτραπελίαν 15 ἐκείνων καὶ τὴν σύνεσιν, ὧν καὶ τὰ σκώμματα τοῖς σκωπτομένοις ἡδονὴν καὶ χάριν παρεῖχε; δεχόμενος οὖν ἡμᾶς ἐν Πάτραις, ἡδέως ἂν ἔφης⁸ πυθέσθαι τὰ τοιαῦτα ἐρωτήματα ποίου γένους εἴη καί τίς αὐτῶν τύπος· οὐ γάρ τι μικρόν ἔφης⁹ τῆς ὁμιλητικῆς 20 μόριον ἡ περὶ τὰς ἐρωτήσεις καὶ τὰς παιδιὰς τοῦ ἐμμελοῦς ἐπιστήμη καὶ τήρησις.

630a μέγα μὲν οὖν ἔφην ἐγώ, ἀλλʼ ὅρα καὶ αὐτὸς ὁ Ξενοφῶν ἔν τε τῷ Σωκρατικῷ καὶ τοῖς Περσικοῖς ἐπιδείκνυσι συμποσίοις τὸ γένος. εἰ δὲ δοκεῖ καὶ ἡμᾶς ἐπιθέσθαι τινὶ λόγῳ, πρῶτον ἡδέως 5 ἐρωτᾶσθαί μοι δοκοῦσιν ἃ ῥᾳδίως ἀποκρίνασθαι¹⁰ δύνανται· ταῦτα δʼ ἐστὶν ὧν ἐμπειρίαν ἔχουσιν. ὁἱ γὰρ ἀγνοοῦσιν, ἢ μὴ¹¹ λέγοντες ἄχθονται καθάπερ αἰτηθέντες ὃ δοῦναι μὴ δύνανται, ἢ λέγοντες ἀπὸ δόξης καὶ εἰκασίας οὐ βεβαίου διαταράσσονται καὶ 10 630b κινδυνεύουσιν¹². ἂν δὲ μὴ μόνον ἔχῃ τὸ ῥᾴδιον ἀλλὰ καὶ¹³ περιττὸν ἡ ἀπόκρισις, ἡδίων ἐστὶ τῷ ἀποκρινομένῳ περιτταὶ¹⁴ δʼ εἰσὶν αἱ τῶν ἐπισταμένων ἃ μὴ πολλοὶ γιγνώσκουσιν μηδʼ ἀκηκόασιν; οἷον ἀστρολογικῶν, διαλεκτικῶν, ἄνπερ ἕξιν ἐν αὐτοῖς ἔχωσιν. 15 οὐ γὰρ πράττων μόνον ἕκαστος οὐδὲ διημερεύων, ὡς Εὐριπίδης¹⁵ φησίν, ἀλλὰ καὶ διαλεγόμενος

ἵνʼ αὐτὸς αὑτοῦ τυγχάνει κράτιστος ὤν

ἡδέως διατίθεται· καὶ χαίρουσι τοῖς ἐρωτῶσιν ἃ γιγνώσκοντες ἀγνοεῖσθαι καὶ λανθάνειν οὐ θέλουσι. 20 διὸ καὶ περὶ χώρας ἀποίκου καὶ ξένης θαλάττης ἐθῶν τε βαρβαρικῶν καὶ νόμων οἱ πεπλανημένοι καὶ πεπλευκότες ἣδιον ἐρωτῶνται, καὶ προθύμως 630c διηγοῦνται καὶ διαγράφουσι κόλπους καὶ τόπους, οἰόμενοι καὶ χάριν τινὰ τῶν πόνων ταύτην καὶ 25 παραμυθίαν κομίζεσθαι. καθόλου δʼ ὅσα μηδενὸς ἐρωτῶντος αὐτοὶ διηγεῖσθαι καὶ λέγειν ἀφʼ ἑαυτῶν εἰώθαμεν, ἣδιον ἐρωτώμεθα, χαρίζεσθαι τούτοις δοκοῦντες; ὧν ἔργον ἦν ἐνοχλουμένων ἀποσχέσθαι. καὶ τοῦτο μὲν ἐν τοῖς πλωτικοῖς μάλιστα φύεται 5 τὸ γένος τοῦ¹⁶ νοσήματος· οἱ δὲ κομψότεροι ταῦτʼ ἐρωτᾶσθαι θέλουσιν ἃ βουλόμενοι λέγειν αἰδοῦνται καὶ φείδονται τῶν παρόντων· οἷον ὅσα τυγχάνουσιν αὐτοὶ διαπεπραγμένοι καὶ κατωρθωκότες. ὀρθῶς γοῦν ὁ Νέστωρ τὴν φιλοτιμίαν τοῦ Ὀδυσσέως ἐπιστάμενος 10 630d

εἴπʼ ἄγε μʼ¹⁷, ὦ πολύαινʼ Ὀδυσεῦ ʽ φησἴ, μέγα κῦδος Ἀχαιῶν,

¹⁸

ὅππως¹⁹ τούσδʼ ἵππους λάβετον.

ἄχθονται γὰρ τοῖς αὑτοὺς²⁰ ἐπαινοῦσι καὶ τὰς ἑαυτῶν 15 εὐτυχίας διεξιοῦσιν, ἂν μὴ κελεύσῃ ἄλλος τις²¹ τῶν παρόντων καὶ οἷον βιαζόμενοι²² λέγωσι. ἡδέως γοῦν ἐρωτῶνται περὶ πρεσβειῶν καὶ περὶ πολιτειῶν εἰ μέγα²³ τι καὶ λαμπρὸν εἰργασμένοι τυγχάνουσιν. ὅθεν ἣκιστα περὶ τούτων οἱ²⁴ φθονεροὶ καὶ κακοήθεις ἐρωτῶσι, 20 κἂν ἄλλος τις ἔρηται²⁵ τὰ τοιαῦτα, διακρούονται καὶ παρατρέπουσι, χώραν τῇ διηγήσει μὴ, διδόντες μηδὲ βουλόμενοι λόγου τὸν λέγοντα κοσμοῦντος 630e ἀφορμὰς προέσθαι. καὶ ταῦτʼ οὖν ἐρωτῶντες χαρίζεσθαι²⁶ τοῖς ἀποκρινομένοις, ἃ τοὺς ἐχθροὺς καὶ δυσμενεῖς αἰσθάνονται μὴ βουλομένους ἀκούειν.

[3] καὶ μὴν ὃ γʼ Ὀδυσσεὺς τῷ Ἀλκινόῳ²⁷

σοὶ δʼ ἐμὰ κήδεα θυμὸς ἐπετράπετο²⁸ στονόεντα²⁹ 5

εἴρεσθʼ, ὄφρʼ ἔτι μᾶλλον ὀδυρόμενος στεναχίζω.

καὶ πρὸς τὸν χορὸν ὁ Οἰδίπους

δεινὸν μὲν τὸ πάλαι κείμενον ἤδη κακόν, ὦ ξεῖνʼ, ἐπεγείρειν³⁰.

³¹ ὁ δʼ Εὐριπίδης τοὐναντίον

ὡς ἡδὺ μεμνῆσθαι³² πόνων

10 630f ³³ οὐ τοῖς ἔτι πλανωμένοις καὶ κακὰ³⁴ φέρουσι. τῶν οὖν κακῶν φυλακτέον ἐστὶ τὰς ἐρωτήσεις· ἀνιῶνται γὰρ διηγούμενοι καταδίκας αὑτῶν ἢ ταφὰς παίδων ἤ τινας κατὰ γῆν οὐκ εὐτυχεῖς ἢ κατὰ θάλατταν ἐμπορίας. τὸ δὲ πῶς εὐημέρησαν ἐπὶ βήματος 15 ³⁵ ἢ προσηγορεύθησαν ὑπὸ τοῦ βασιλέως ἢ τῶν ἄλλων περιπεσόντων χειμῶσιν ἢ λῃσταῖς αὐτοὶ διέφυγον τὸν κίνδυνον, ἡδέως ἐρωτῶνται πολλάκις, καὶ τρόπον τινὰ τῷ λόγῳ τοῦ πράγματος ἀπολαύοντες 631a ἀπλήστως ἔχουσι τοῦ διηγεῖσθαι καὶ μνημονεύειν. 20 χαίρουσι δὲ καὶ περὶ φίλων εὐτυχούντων ἐρωτώμενοι καὶ περὶ παίδων προκοπτόντων ἐν μαθήμασιν³⁶ ἢ συνηγορίαις ἢ φιλίαις βασιλέων. ἐχθρῶν δὲ καὶ δυσμενῶν ὀνείδη καὶ βλάβας καὶ καταδίκας ἐξελεγχθέντων καὶ σφαλέντων ἣδιον ἐρωτώμενοι καὶ προθυμότερον ἐξαγγέλλουσιν αὐτοὶ δʼ ἀφʼ αὑτῶν 5 ὀκνοῦσι φυλαττόμενοι δόξαν ἐπιχαιρεκακίας. ἥδιον δὲ καὶ περὶ κυνῶν ἄνδρα θηρευτικὸν ἐρωτᾶν καὶ φιλαθλητὴν περὶ γυμνικῶν ἀγώνων καὶ περὶ καλῶν ἐρωτικόν. ὁ δʼ εὐσεβὴς καὶ φιλοθύτης διηγηματικὸς ὀνείρων, καὶ ὅσα χρησάμενος ἢ φήμαις ἢ ἱεροῖς ἢ 10 631b θεῶν εὐμενείᾳ κατώρθωσεν, ἡδέως ἂν καὶ περὶ τούτων ἐρωτῷτο³⁷. τοῖς δὲ πρεσβύταις, κἂν μηδὲν ἡ διήγησις ᾖ προσήκουσα, πάντως οἱ ἐρωτῶντες χαρίζονται καὶ κινοῦσι βουλομένους.

ὦ Νέστορ Νηληιάδη, σὺ δʼ ἀληθὲς ἐνίσπες,³⁸ 15

πῶς ἔθανʼ Ἀτρείδης; ³⁹

ποῦ Μενέλαος ἔην⁴⁰; ⁴¹

ἦ⁴² οὐκ Ἄργεος ἦεν Ἀχαιικοῦ;

πολλὰ ἐρωτῶν ἅμα καὶ πολλῶν λόγων ἀφορμὰς προσιέμενος⁴³, οὐχ, ὥσπερ ἔνιοι, συστέλλοντες εἰς 20 τἀναγκαῖον⁴⁴ αὐτὸ καὶ συνελαύνοντες τὰς ἀποκρίσεις ἀφαιροῦνται τῆς γεροντικῆς διατριβῆς τὸ ἥδιστον. ὅλως δʼ οἱ θέλοντες εὐφραίνειν μᾶλλον ἢ λυπεῖν 631c τοιαύτας ἐρωτήσεις προφέρονται, ὧν ταῖς ἀποκρίσεσιν οὐ ψόγος ἀλλʼ ἔπαινος, οὐδὲ μῖσος ἢ νέμεσις 25 ἀλλʼ εὔνοια καὶ χάρις ἕπεται παρὰ τῶν ἀκουσάντων. ταῦτα μὲν οὖν τὰ περὶ τὰς ἐρωτήσεις.

σκώμματος δὲ τῷ μὴ δυναμένῳ μετʼ εὐλαβείας καὶ τέχνης κατὰ καιρὸν ἅπτεσθαι παντάπασιν ἀφεκτέον ὥσπερ γὰρ⁴⁵ οἱ ἐν ὀλισθηρῷ τόπῳ, κἂν θίγωσιν ἐκ παραδρομῆς μόνον, ἀνατρέπουσιν, οὕτως ἐν 5 οἴνῳ πρὸς πᾶσαν ἀφορμὴν λόγου μὴ κατὰ σχῆμα γιγνομένην ἐπισφαλῶς ἔχομεν. τοῖς δὲ σκώμμασιν ἔστιν ὅτε μᾶλλον ἢ ταῖς λοιδορίαις ἐκκινούμεθα, τὸ μὲν ὑπʼ ὀργῆς πολλάκις ἀβουλήτως ὁρῶντες γιγνόμενον, τὸ δʼ ὡς οὐκ ἀναγκαῖον ἀλλʼ ἔργον ὕβρεως καὶ κακοηθείας 10 προβαλλόμενοι· καὶ καθόλου διαλέγεσθαι τοῖς ⁴⁶ νοις μᾶλλον ἢ τοῖς ⁴⁷ φλυαροῦσι χαλεπαίνομεν 631d δῆλον γὰρ ὅτι δόλος τῷ σχήματι προσέσται τῷ κατὰ τὸ σκῶμμα⁴⁸, λοιδόρημα δὲ ⁴⁹ εἶναι καὶ⁵⁰ πεποιημένον ἐκ παρασκευῆς. ὁ γὰρ εἰπὼν ταριχοπώλην αὐτόθεν 15 ἐλοιδόρησεν, ὁ δὲ φήσας, μεμνήμεθά σε τῷ βραχίονι ἀπομυττόμενον ἔσκωψε. καὶ Κικέρων πρὸς Ὀκταούιον, ἐκ Λιβύης εἶναι δοκοῦντα λέγοντος δʼ αὐτοῦ φάσκοντα μὴ ἀκούειν, καὶ μὴν τετρυπημένον ἔφη ἔχεις τὸ οὖς. καὶ Μελάνθιος ὑπὸ τοῦ κωμῳδιοποιοῦ 20 καταγελώμενος ἔφη οὐκ ὀφειλόμενόν μοι ἀποδίδως ἔρανον μᾶλλον οὖν τὰ σκώμματα δάκνει, καθάπερ 631e τὰ παρηγκιστρωμένα βέλη⁵¹ πλείονα χρόνον ἐμμένοντα, καὶ λυπεῖ τοὺς σκωφθέντας ἡ τέρψις τῇ κομψότητι καὶ ἡδύνει τοὺς παρόντας⁵²· ἡδόμενοι γὰρ ἐπὶ τῷ λεγομένῳ, πιστεύειν⁵³ δοκοῦσι καὶ συνδιασύρειν τῷ λέγοντι. ὀνειδισμὸς⁵⁴ γάρ ἐστι τῆς⁵⁵ ἁμαρτίας παρεσχηματισμένος τὸ σκῶμμα⁵⁶ κατὰ τὸν Θεόφραστον · 5 ὅθεν ἐξ αὑτοῦ τῇ ὑπονοίᾳ προστίθησιν ὁ ἀκούσας τὸ ἐλλεῖπον ὡς εἰδὼς καὶ πιστεύων. ὁ γὰρ 631f γελάσας καὶ ἡσθείς, τοῦ Θεοκρίτου πρὸς τὸν δοκοῦντα λωποδυτεῖν ἐρωτῶντα δʼ αὐτὸν εἰ ἐπὶ δεῖπνον βαδίζει φήσαντος βαδίζειν⁵⁷ ἐκεῖ μέντοι 10 καθεύδειν, βεβαιοῦντι τὴν διαβολὴν ὅμοιός ἐστι. διὸ καὶ προσαναπίμπλησι τοὺς παρόντας ὁ σκώπτων παρὰ μέλος κακοηθείας, ὡς ἐφηδομένους καὶ συνυβρίζοντας⁵⁸. ἓν δὲ⁵⁹ τῇ καλῇ Λακεδαίμονι τῶν μαθημάτων ἐδόκει⁶⁰, τὸ σκώπτειν ἀλύπως καὶ σκωπτόμενον 15 φέρειν· εἰ δέ τις ἀπείποι σκωπτόμενος, εὐθὺς ὁ σκώπτων ἐπέπαυτο⁶¹. πῶς οὖν οὐ χαλεπὸν εὑρεῖν 632a σκῶμμα τῷ σκωπτομένῳ κεχαρισμένον, ὅπου καὶ τὸ μὴ λυποῦν⁶² τοῦ σκώμματος οὐ τῆς τυχούσης ἐμπειρίας καὶ δεξιότητός ἐστιν;

[5] 20 οὐ μὴν ἀλλὰ πρῶτά μοι δοκεῖ τὰ λυποῦντα τοὺς ἐνόχους σκώμματα τοῖς μακρὰν οὖσι τῆς διαβολῆς ἡδονήν τινα καὶ χάριν ποιεῖν· οἷον ὁ Ξενοφῶν⁶³ τὸν ὑπέραισχρον καὶ ὑπέρδασυν ἐκεῖνον ὡς παιδικὰ τοῦ Σαμβαύλα σκωπτόμενον εἰσάγει μετὰ παιδιᾶς. καὶ Κυήτου⁶⁴ τοῦ ἡμετέρου μέμνησαι γάρ ἐν ἀσθενείᾳ τὰς χεῖρας ἔχειν ψυχρὰς λέγοντος, Αὐφίδιος Μόδεστος ἀλλὰ μήν ἔφη θερμὰς ἀπὸ 5 632b τῆς ἐπαρχίας κεκόμικας αὐτάς· τοῦτο γὰρ ἐκείνῳ μὲν γέλωτα καὶ διάχυσιν παρέσχε, κλέπτῃ δʼ ἀνθυπάτῳ λοιδόρημα καὶ ὄνειδος ἦν. διὸ καὶ Κριτόβουλον ὁ Σωκράτης εὐπροσωπότατον ὄντα προκαλούμενος εἰς σύγκρισιν εὐμορφίας ἔπαιζεν οὐκ ἐχλεύαζεν. 10 καὶ Σωκράτην⁶⁵ πάλιν Ἀλκιβιάδης ἔσκωπτεν εἰς ζηλοτυπίαν τὴν περὶ Ἀγάθωνος. ἥδονται δὲ καὶ βασιλεῖς τοῖς λεγομένοις ὡς εἰς πένητας αὐτοὺς καὶ ἰδιώτας, ὥσπερ ὑπὸ Φιλίππου σκωφθεὶς ὁ παράσιτος εἶπεν οὐκ ἐγώ σε τρέφω; τὰ γὰρ οὐ προσόντα 15 φαῦλα λέγοντες ἐμφαίνουσι τὰ προσόντα χρηστά. δεῖ δʼ ὁμολογουμένως καὶ βεβαίως προσεῖναὶ 632c τι χρηστόν· εἰ δὲ μή, τὸ λεγόμενον τοὐναντίον ἀμφισβητήσιμον ἔχει τὴν ὑπόνοιαν. ὁ γὰρ τῷ πάνυ πλουσίῳ τοὺς δανειστὰς ἐπάξειν λέγων, ἢ τὸν ὑδροπότην 20 καὶ σώφρονα παροινεῖν καὶ μεθύειν, ἢ τὸν εὐδάπανον καὶ μεγαλοπρεπῆ καὶ χαριστικὸν κίμβικα καὶ κυμινοπρίστην⁶⁶ προσαγορεύων, ἢ τὸν ἐν συνηγορίαις καὶ πολιτείαις μέγαν ἀπειλῶν ἐν ἀγορᾷ λήψεσθαι, διάχυσιν καὶ μειδίαμα παρέσχεν. οὕτως 25 ὁ Κῦρος⁶⁷ ἐν οἷς ἐλείπετο τῶν ἑταίρων, εἰς ταῦτα προκαλούμενος ἐγίγνετο προσηνὴς καὶ κεχαρισμένος. καὶ τοῦ Ἰσμηνίου τῇ θυσίᾳ προσαυλοῦντος, ὡς οὐκ 632d ἐκαλλιέρει, παρελόμενος τοὺς αὐλοὺς ὁ μισθωτὴς⁶⁸ ηὔλησε γελοίως· αἰτιωμένων δὲ τῶν παρόντων, ἐκεῖνος καλλιερήσας⁶⁹ ἔστιν ἔφη τὸ κεχαρισμένως αὐλεῖν 5 θεόθεν· ὁ δʼ Ἰσμηνίας γελάσας ἀλλʼ ἐμοῦ μὲν εἶπεν αὐλοῦντος ἡδόμενοι διέτριβον οἱ θεοί, σοῦ δʼ ἀπαλλαγῆναι σπεύδοντες ἐδέξαντο τὴν θυσίαν.

[6] ἔτι τοίνυν οἱ τὰ χρηστὰ τῶν πραγμάτων τοῖς λοιδορουμένοις ὀνόμασι μετὰ παιδιᾶς καλοῦντες, 10 ἂν ἐμμελῶς ποιῶσιν, αὐτῶν μᾶλλον εὐφραίνουσι τῶν ἀπʼ εὐθείας ἐπαινούντων. καὶ γὰρ δάκνουσι μᾶλλον οἱ διὰ τῶν εὐφήμων ὀνειδίζοντες, ὡς οἱ τοὺς πονηροὺς Ἀριστείδας καὶ τοὺς δειλοὺς Ἀχιλλεῖς καλοῦντες, καὶ ὁ⁷⁰ τοῦ Σοφοκλέους Οἰδίπους⁷¹ 15

ταύτης Κρέων ὁ πιστὸς οὑξ ἀρχῆς⁷² φίλος.

ἀντίστροφον οὖν ἔοικε γένος εἰρωνείας εἶναι⁷³ τὸ 632e περὶ τοὺς ἐπαίνους· ᾧ καὶ Σωκράτης ἐχρήσατο, τοῦ Ἀντισθένους τὸ φιλοποιὸν καὶ συναγωγὸν ἀνθρώπων εἰς εὔνοιαν μαστροπείαν καὶ συναγωγίαν⁷⁴ 20 καὶ προαγωγείαν⁷⁵ ὀνομάσας. Κράτητα δὲ τὸν φιλόσοφον, εἰς πᾶσαν οἰκίαν εἰσιόντα μετὰ τιμῆς καὶ φιλοφροσύνης δεχομένων, θυρεπανοίκτην ἐκάλουν.

[7] ποιεῖ δʼ εὔχαρι σκῶμμα καὶ μέμψις ἐμφαίνουσα χάριν, ὡς Διογένης περὶ Ἀντισθένους ἔλεγεν 632f

ὅς με ῥάκη⁷⁶ τʼ ἤμπισχε κἀξηνάγκασεν

⁷⁷

πτωχὸν γενέσθαι κἀκ δόμων ἀνάστατον.

5 οὐ γὰρ ἂν ὁμοίως πιθανὸς ἦν λέγων ὅς με σοφὸν καὶ αὐτάρκη⁷⁸ καὶ μακάριον ἐποίησε καὶ ὁ Λάκων ἄκαπνα ξύλα τῷ γυμνασιάρχῳ παρασχόντι προσποιούμενος ἐγκαλεῖν, ἔλεγε διʼ ὃν οὐδʼ ἀποδακρῦσαι γέγονεν ἡμῖν⁷⁹. καὶ ὁ⁸⁰ τὸν δειπνίζοντα καθʼ 10 ἡμέραν ἀνδραποδιστὴν καλῶν καὶ τύραννον, διʼ ὃν ἐτῶν τοσούτων οὐχ ἑώρακε τὴν ἑαυτοῦ τράπεζαν. καὶ ὁ λέγων ὑπὸ τοῦ βασιλέως ἐπιβεβουλευμένος ἀφῃρῆσθαι τὴν σχολὴν καὶ τὸν ὕπνον, πλούσιος γεγονὼς ἐκ πένητος. καὶ εἴ τις ἀντιστρέψας αἰτιῷτο 15 τοὺς Αἰσχύλου Καβείρους 633a

ὄξους σπανίζειν δῶμα

⁸¹ ποιήσαντας, ὥσπερ αὐτοὶ παίζοντες ἠπείλησαν⁸². ἅπτεται γὰρ ταῦτα μᾶλλον ἔχοντα δριμυτέραν χάριν, 20 ὥστε μὴ προσίστασθαι μηδὲ λυπεῖν τοὺς ἐπαινουμένους.

[8] δεῖ δὲ τὸν ἐμμελῶς σκώμματι χρησόμενον εἰδέναι καὶ νοσήματος διαφορὰν πρὸς ἐπιτήδευμα, λέγω δὲ φιλαργυρίας καὶ φιλονεικίας πρὸς φιλομουσίαν καὶ φιλοθηρίαν· ἐπʼ ἐκείνοις μὲν γὰρ ἄχθονται 25 σκωπτόμενοι, πρὸς ταῦτα δʼ ἡδέως ἔχουσιν. οὐκ ἀηδῶς γοῦν Δημοσθένης ὁ Μιτυληναῖος, φιλῳδοῦ τινος καὶ φιλοκιθαριστοῦ θύραν κόψας, ὑπακούσαντος αὐτοῦ καὶ κελεύσαντος εἰσελθεῖν ἂν 633b πρῶτον ἔφη τὴν κιθάραν δήσῃς. ἀηδῶς δʼ ὁ τοῦ 5 Λυσιμάχου⁸³ παράσιτος, ἐμβαλόντος αὐτοῦ σκορπίον ξύλινον εἰς τὸ ἱμάτιον, ἐκταραχθεὶς καὶ ἀναπηδήσας, ὡς ᾔσθετο τὴν παιδιάν, κἀγώ σε φησὶν ἐκφοβῆσαι βούλομαι, ὦ βασιλεῦ· δός μοι τάλαντον.

[9] εἰσὶ δὲ καὶ περὶ τὰ σωματικὰ τοιαῦται διαφοραὶ 10 τῶν πολλῶν· οἷον εἰς γρυπότητα καὶ σιμότητα σκωπτόμενοι γελῶσιν, ὡς ὁ Κασάνδρου φίλος; οὐκ ἠχθέσθη τοῦ Θεοφράστου πρὸς αὐτὸν εἰπόντος θαυμάζω σου τοὺς ὀφθαλμοὺς, ὅτι οὐκ ᾅδουσι, τοῦ μυκτῆρος; αὐτοῖς ἐνδεδωκότος καὶ ὁ 15 Κῦρος ἐκέλευσε τὸν γρυπὸν σιμὸν ἀγαγέσθαι γύναιον⁸⁴, 633c οὕτω γὰρ ἐφαρμόσειν. εἰς δὲ δυσωδίαν μυκτῆρος ἢ στόματος ἄχθονται σκωπτόμενοι· καὶ πάλιν εἰς φαλακρότητα πράως φέρουσιν, εἰς δὲ πήρωσιν ὀφθαλμῶν ἀηδῶς. καὶ γὰρ Ἀντίγονος αὐτὸς 20 μὲν ἑαυτὸν εἰς τὸν ὀφθαλμὸν ἔσκωπτε· καί ποτε λαβὼν ἀξίωμα μεγάλοις γράμμασι γεγραμμένον ταυτὶ μέν ἔφη καὶ τυφλῷ δῆλα Θεόκριτον δὲ τὸν Χῖον ἀπέκτεινεν, ὅτι φήσαντός τινος τοῖς ὀφθαλμοῖς ἂν βασιλέως παραγένῃ, σωθήσῃ· ἀλλά μοι εἶπεν ἀδύνατον 25 633d λέγεις τοῦτʼ αὐτὸ τὴν σωτηρίαν⁸⁵. Λέων⁸⁶ ὁ Βυζάντιος, εἰπόντος Πασιάδου πρὸς αὐτὸν, ὀφθαλμισθῆναι διʼ⁸⁷ αὐτοῦ τοὺς ὀφθαλμούς ἀσθένειαν ἔφη σώματος ὀνειδίζεις, νέμεσιν οὐχ ὁρῶν ἐπὶ τῶν ὤμων βαστάζοντά σου τὸν υἱόν· εἶχε δὲ κυρτὸν ὁ 5 Πασιάδης υἱόν. ἠγανάκτησε δὲ καὶ Ἄρχιππος, ὁ δημαγωγὸς τῶν Ἀθηναίων, ὑπὸ Μελανθίου σκωφθεὶς εἰς τὸ κυρτόν· ἔφη γὰρ αὐτὸν ὁ Μελάνθιος οὐ προεστάναι τῆς πόλεως ἀλλὰ προκεκυφέναι⁸⁸. τινὲς δὲ ταῦτα πράως καὶ μετρίως φέρουσιν, ὥσπερ ὁ 10 φίλος τοῦ Ἀντιγόνου τάλαντον αἰτήσας καὶ μὴ 633e λαβὼν ᾔτησε προπομποὺς καὶ φύλακας ὅπως ἔφη μὴ ἐπιβουλευθῶ προστάξας⁸⁹ κατʼ ὤμου τὸ τάλαντον φέρειν. οὕτω μὲν⁹⁰ περὶ τὰ ἐκτὸς ἔχουσι διὰ τὴν ἀνωμαλίαν ἄλλοι γὰρ ἐπʼ ἄλλοις ἄχθονται. 15 Ἐπαμεινώνδας μετὰ τῶν συναρχόντων ἑστιώμενος ἐπέπινεν ὄξος, καὶ πυνθανομένων εἰ πρὸς ὑγίειαν ἀγαθόν, οὐκ οἶδʼ εἶπεν, ὅτι μέντοι πρὸς τὸ μεμνῆσθαι τῆς οἴκοι διαίτης ἀγαθόν, ἐπίσταμαι. διὸ δεῖ καὶ πρὸς τὰς φύσεις καὶ τὰ ἤθη σκοποῦντα ταῖς 20 παιδιαῖς χρῆσθαι, πειρώμενον ἀλύπως καὶ κεχαρισμένως ἑκάστοις ὁμιλεῖν.

[10] ὁ δʼ ἔρως τὰ τʼ ἄλλα ποικιλώτατός ἐστι, καὶ τοῖς σκώμμασιν οἱ μὲν ἄχθονται καὶ ἀγανακτοῦσιν οἱ δὲ χαίρουσι. δεῖ δʼ εἰδέναι τὸν καιρόν· 25 633f ὡς γὰρ τὸ πῦρ⁹¹ ἐν ἀρχῇ μὲν ἀποσβέννυσι τὸ πνεῦμα⁹² διὰ τὴν ἀσθένειαν αὐξηθέντι δὲ τροφὴν παρέχει καὶ ῥώμην, οὕτω φυόμενος ὁ ἔρως ἔτι καὶ λανθάνων δυσκολαίνει καὶ ἀγανακτεῖ πρὸς τοὺς ἀποκαλύπτοντας, ἐκλάμψας δὲ καὶ διαφανεὶς τρέφεται καὶ προσγελᾷ τοῖς σκώμμασι φυσώμενος. ἥδιστα δὲ σκώπτονται, 5 παρόντων τῶν ἐρωμένων, εἰς αὐτὸ τὸ ἐρᾶν εἰς ἄλλο δʼ οὐδέν. ἐὰν δὲ καὶ γυναικῶν ἐρῶντες 634a ἰδίων τύχωσιν ἢ νεανίσκων φιλοκάλων ἔρωτα γενναῖον, παντάπασι γάνυνται καὶ καλλωπίζονται τῷ σκώπτεσθαι πρὸς αὐτούς. διὸ καὶ Ἀρκεσίλαος, ἐν 10 τῇ σχολῇ τοιαύτης μεταδόσεως⁹³ αὐτῷ γενομένης ὑπό τινος τῶν ἐρωτικῶν δοκεῖ μοι μηδὲν ἅπτεσθαι μηδενός· οὐδὲ⁹⁴ σὺ τοίνυν ἔφη τοῦδʼ ἅπτῃ; δείξας τινὰ τῶν καλῶν καὶ ὡραίων παρακαθήμενον.

[11] ἤδη δὲ καὶ τὸ τῶν παρόντων σκεπτέον· 15 ἃ γὰρ ἐν φίλοις καὶ συνήθεσιν ἀκούοντες γελῶσι, ταῦτα δυσχεραίνουσιν, ἂν λέγηται πρὸς αὐτοὺς τῆς γαμετῆς παρούσης ἢ τοῦ πατρὸς ἢ τοῦ καθηγητοῦ, πλὴν ἂν μή τι κεχαρισμένον τῶν λεγομένων⁹⁵ ἐκείνοις· οἷον ἄν τις⁹⁶ σκώπτηται τοῦ φιλοσόφου παρόντος 20 εἰς ἀνυποδησίαν ἢ νυκτογραφίαν, ἢ τοῦ πατρὸς 634b ἀκούοντος εἰς μικρολογίαν, ἢ τῆς γυναικὸς παρούσης⁹⁷ εἰς τὸ ἀνέραστον ἑτέρων ἐκείνης δὲ δοῦλον καὶ θεραπευτικόν, ὡς ὁ Τιγράνης⁹⁸ ὑπὸ τοῦ Κύρου τί δʼ, ἂν σʼ ἡ γυνὴ σκευοφοροῦντα ἀκούσῃ; ἀλλʼ οὐκ ἀκούσεται 25 εἶπεν ὄψεται δʼ αὐτὴ παροῦσα.

[12] ποιεῖ δʼ ἀλυπότερα τὰ σκώμματα καὶ τὸ κοινωνεῖν ἁμωσγέπως τοὺς λέγοντας· ὅταν⁹⁹ εἰς πενίαν λέγῃ¹⁰⁰ πένης ἢ δυσγενὴς εἰς δυσγένειαν ἢ ἐρῶν εἰς ἔρωτα¹⁰¹· δοκεῖ δʼ οὐχ ὕβρει παιδιᾷ δέ τινι γίγνεσθαι 5 μᾶλλον ὑπὸ τῶν ὁμοίων εἰ δὲ μή, παροξύνει καὶ 634c λυπεῖ. τὸν γοῦν ἀπελεύθερον τοῦ βασιλέως νεόπλουτον ὄντα φορτικῶς δὲ καὶ σοβαρῶς ἐπιπολάζοντα τοῖς συνδειπνοῦσι φιλοσόφοις, καί τέλος ἐρωτῶντα πῶς ἔκ τε τῶν λευκῶν καὶ τῶν μελάνων 10 κυάμων ὁμοίως χλωρὸν γίγνεται τὸ ἔτνος, ἀντερωτήσας ὁ Ἀριδίκης¹⁰², πῶς ἐκ¹⁰³ τῶν¹⁰⁴ λευκῶν καὶ μελάνων ἱμάντων φοινικοῖ γίγνονται μώλωπες, ἐποίησεν ἀναστῆναι¹⁰⁵ περίλυπον γενόμενον. ὁ δὲ Ταρσεὺς Ἀμφίας ἐκ κηπουροῦ δοκῶν γεγονέναι, σκώψας δὲ τὸν φίλον 15 τοῦ ἡγεμόνος εἰς δυσγένειαν εἶθʼ ὑπολαβὼν εὐθὺς 634d ἀλλὰ καὶ ἡμεῖς ἐκ τῶν αὐτῶν σπερμάτων γεγόναμεν γέλωτʼ ἐποίησε. κομψῶς δὲ καὶ τοῦ Φιλίππου τὴν ὀψιμαθίαν ἅμα καὶ περιεργίαν ὁ ψάλτης ἐπέσχεν οἰομένου γὰρ αὐτὸν ἐξελέγχειν τοῦ Φιλίππου 20 περὶ¹⁰⁶ κρουμάτων καὶ ἁρμονιῶν μὴ γένοιτό σοι εἶπεν ὦ βασιλεῦ, κακῶς οὕτως, ἵνʼ ἐμοῦ σὺ ταῦτʼ εἰδῇς βέλτιον σκώπτειν γὰρ ἑαυτὸν δοκῶν, ἐκεῖνον ἀλύπως ἐνουθέτησε. διὸ καὶ τῶν κωμικῶν ἔνιοι τὴν πικρίαν ἀφαιρεῖν δοκοῦσι τῷ σκώπτειν 25 ἑαυτούς, ὡς Ἀριστοφάνης εἰς τὴν φαλακρότητα¹⁰⁷ καὶ τὴν Ἀγάθωνος ἀπόλειψιν¹⁰⁸· Κρατῖνος δὲ τὴν πυτίνην εἰς τὴν φιλοινίαν¹⁰⁹ ἐδίδαξεν.

[13] οὐχ ἥκιστα δὲ δεῖ¹¹⁰ προσέχειν καὶ φυλάττειν, 634e ὅπως ἐκ τοῦ παρατυχόντος ἔσται τὸ σκῶμμα πρὸς 5 τινας ἐρωτήσεις αὐτόθεν ἢ παιδιὰς γιγνόμενον, ἀλλὰ μὴ πόρρωθεν οἷον ἐκ παρασκευῆς ἐπεισόδιον. ὡς γὰρ ὀργὰς καὶ μάχας τὰς ἐκ τῶν συμποσίων πραότερον φέρουσιν, ἐὰν δʼ ἐπελθών τις ἔξωθεν λοιδορῆται καὶ ταράττῃ, τοῦτον ἐχθρὸν ἡγοῦνται 10 καὶ μισοῦσιν οὕτω μέτεστι συγγνώμης σκώμματι καὶ παρρησίας, ἂν ἐκ τῶν παρόντων ἔχῃ τὴν γένεσιν, ἀφελῶς καὶ ἀπλάστως φυόμενον· ἂν δʼ μὴ πρὸς λόγον ἀλλʼ ἔξωθεν¹¹¹, ἐπιβουλῇ καὶ ὕβρει προσέοικεν· οἷον τὸ Τιμαγένους πρὸς τὸν ἄνδρα τῆς 15 ἐμετικῆς¹¹² 634f

κακῶν γὰρ ἄρχεις¹¹³ τήνδε μοῦσαν εἰσάγων·

¹¹⁴ καὶ πρὸς Ἀθηνόδωρον τὸν φιλόσοφον, εἰ φυσικὴ¹¹⁵ ἡ πρὸς τὰ ἔκγονα¹¹⁶ φιλοστοργία ἡ γὰρ ἀκαιρία καὶ¹¹⁷ τὸ μὴ πρὸς¹¹⁸ λόγον ὕβριν ἐμφαίνει καὶ δυσμένειαν. 20 οὗτοι μὲν οὖν κατὰ Πλάτωνα¹¹⁹ κουφοτάτου πράγματος, λόγων, βαρυτάτην ζημίαν ἔτισαν· οἱ δὲ τὸν καιρὸν εἰδότες καὶ φυλάττοντες αὐτῷ τῷ Πλάτωνι¹²⁰ μαρτυροῦσιν, ὅτι τοῦ πεπαιδευμένου καλῶς ἔργον ἐστὶ τὸ παίζειν ἐμμελῶς καὶ κεχαρισμένως.

Quaestiones Convivales. Plutarch. ed. Grēgorios N. Vernardakēs. Leipzig. 1892.

Sponsored by Perseus Project, Tufts University.

Funding provided by The National Endowment for the Humanities.

Current edition Perseus

Συμποσιακῶν προβλημάτων βιβλία (Greek) (Plutarch. Plutarchi Chaeronensis Moralia, Vol. IV. Vernardakēs, Grēgorios N., editor. Leipzig: Teubner, 1892.)

Translations (1)

Symposiacs Perseus (Plutarch. Plutarch's Morals, Vol. III. Goodwin, William W., editor; Creech, Thomas, translator. Boston: Little, Brown, and Company; Cambridge: Press of John Wilson and Son, 1874.) — 2.1 focus

Question I
WHAT, AS XENOPHON INTIMATES, ARE THE MOST AGREEABLE QUESTIONS AND MOST PLEASANT RAILLERY AT AN ENTERTAINMENT?
SOSSIUS SENECIO AND PLUTARCH.

[1] Now each book being divided into ten questions, that shall make the first in this, which Socratical Xenophon hath as it were proposed; for he tells us that, Gobryas banqueting with Cyrus, amongst other things that he found admirable in the Persians, he was surprised to hear them ask one another such questions that it was more delightful to be interrogated than to be let alone, and pass such jests on one another that it was more pleasant to be jested on than not. For if some, even whilst they praise, offend, why should not their polite and neat facetiousness be admired, whose very raillery is delightful and pleasant to him that is the subject of it? Once when you were entertaining us at Patrae, you said: I wish I could learn what kind of questions those are; for to be skilled in and make right use of apposite questions and pleasant raillery, I think is no small part of conversation.

[2] A considerable one, I replied; but pray observe whether Xenophon himself, in his descriptions of Socrates’s and the Persian entertainments, hath not sufficiently explained them. But if you would have my thoughts,—first, men are pleased to be asked those questions to which they have an answer ready; such are those in which the persons asked have some skill and competent knowledge; for when the enquiry is above their reach, those that can return nothing are troubled, as if requested to give something beyond their power; and those that do answer, producing some crude and insufficient demonstration, must needs be very much concerned, and apt to blunder on the wrong. Now, if the answer not only is easy but hath something not common, it is more pleasing to them that make it; and this happens, when their knowledge is greater than that of the vulgar, as suppose they are well skilled in points of astrology or logic. For not only in action and serious matters, but also in discourse, every one hath a natural disposition to be pleased (as Euripides hath it)

To seem far to outdo himself.¹

And all are delighted when men put such questions as they understand, and would have others know that they are acquainted with; and therefore travellers and merchants are most satisfied when their company is inquisitive about other countries, the unknown ocean, and the laws and manners of the barbarians; they are ready to inform them, and describe the countries and the creeks, imagining this to be some recompense for their toil, some comfort for the dangers they have passed. In short, whatever we are wont to discourse of though unrequested, we are desirous to be asked; because then we seem to gratify those whom otherwise our prattle would disturb and force from our conversation. And this is the common disease of navigators. But more genteel and modest men love to be asked about those things which they have bravely and successfully performed, and which modesty will not permit to be spoken by themselves before company; and therefore Nestor did well when, being acquainted with Ulysses’s desire of reputation, he said,

Tell, brave Ulysses, glory of the Greeks,

How you the horses seized.

For man cannot endure the insolence of those who praise themselves and repeat their own exploits, unless the company desires it and they are forced to a relation; therefore it tickles them to be asked about their embassies and administrations of the commonwealth, if they have done any thing notable in either. And upon this account the envious and ill-natured start very few questions of that sort; they thwart and hinder all such kind of motions, being very unwilling to give any occasion or opportunity for that discourse which shall tend to the advantage of the relator. In short, we please those to whom we put them, when we start questions about those matters which their enemies hate to hear.

[3] Ulysses says to Alcinous,

You bid me tell what various ills I bore,

That the sad tale might make me grieve the more.

And Oedipus says to the chorus,

’Tis pain to raise again a buried grief.⁴

But Euripides on the contrary,

How sweet it is, when we are lulled in ease,

To think of toils!—when well, of a disease!

⁵

True indeed, but not to those that are still tossed, still under a misfortune. Therefore be sure never to ask a man about his own calamities; it is irksome to relate his losses of children or estate, or any unprosperous adventure by sea or land; but ask a man how he carried the cause, how he was caressed by the King, how he escaped such a storm, such an assault, thieves, and the like; this pleaseth him, he seems to enjoy it over again in his relation, and is never weary of the topic. Besides, men love to be asked about their happy friends, or children that have made good progress in philosophy or the law, or are great at court; as also about the disgrace and open conviction of their enemies; for of such matters they are most eager to discourse, yet are cautious of beginning it themselves, lest they should seem to insult over and rejoice at the misery of others. You please a hunter if you ask him about dogs, a wrestler about exercise, and an amorous man about beauties; the ceremonious and superstitious man discourses about dreams, and what success he hath had by following the directions of omens or sacrifices, and by the kindness of the Gods; and questions concerning those things will extremely please him. He that enquires any thing of an old man, though the story doth not at all concern him, wins his heart, and urges one that is very willing to discourse:

Nelides Nestor, faithfully relate

How great Atrides died, what sort of fate;

And where was Menelaus largely tell?

Did Argos hold him when the hero fell?

⁶

Here is a multitude of questions and variety of subjects; which is much better than to confine and cramp his answers, and so deprive the old man of the most pleasant enjoyment he can have. ’In short, they that had rather please than distaste will still propose such questions, the answers to which shall rather get the praise and good-will than the contempt and hatred of the hearers. And so much of questions.

[4] As for raillery, those that cannot use it cautiously with art, and time it well, should never venture at it. For as in a slippery place, if you but just touch a man as you pass by, you throw him down; so when we are in drink, we are in danger of tripping at every little word that is not spoken with due address. And we are sometimes more offended with a joke than a plain and scurrilous abuse; for we see the latter often slip from a man unwittingly in passion, but consider the former as a thing voluntary, proceeding from malice and ill-nature; and therefore we are generally more offended at a sharp jeerer than a whistling snarler. Such a jeer has indeed something artfully malicious about it, and often seems to be an insult devised and thought of beforehand. For instance, he that calls thee salt-fish monger plainly and openly abuseth; but he that says, I remember when you wiped your nose upon your sleeve, maliciously jeers. Such was Cicero’s to Octavius, who was thought to be descended from an African; for when Cicero spoke something, and Octavius said he did not hear him, Cicero rejoined, Strange, for you have a hole through your ear. And Melanthius, when he was ridiculed by a comedian, said, You pay me now something that you do not owe me. And upon this account jeers vex more; for like bearded arrows they stick a long while, and gall the wounded sufferer. Their smartness is pleasant, and delights the company; and those that are pleased with the saying seem to believe the detracting speaker. For, according to Theophrastus, a jeer is a figurative reproach for some fault or misdemeanor; and therefore he that hears it supplies the concealed part, as if he knew and gave credit to the thing. For he that laughs and is tickled at what Theocritus said to one whom he suspected of a design upon his purse, and who asked him if he went to supper at such a place,—Yes, he replied, I go, but shall likewise lodge there all night,—doth, as it were confirm the accusation, and believe the fellow was a thief. Therefore an impertinent jeerer makes the whole company seem ill-natured and abusive, as being pleased with and consenting to the scurrility of the jeer. It was one of the excellent rules in Sparta, that none should be bitter in their jests, and the jeered should patiently endure; but if he took offence, the other was to forbear, and pursue the frolic no farther. How is it possible therefore to determine such raillery as shall delight and please the person that is jested on, when to be smart without offence is no mean piece of cunning and address?

[5] First then, such as will vex and gall the conscious must please those that are clean, innocent, and not suspected of the matter. Such a joke is Xenophon’s, when he pleasantly brings in a very ugly ill-looking fellow, and is smart upon him for being Sambaulas’s minion. Such was that of Aufidius Modestus, who, when our friend Quintius in an ague complained his hands were cold, replied, Sir, you brought them warm from your province; for this made Quintius laugh, and extremely pleased him; yet it had been a reproach and abuse to a covetous and oppressing governor. Thus Socrates, pretending to compare faces with the beauteous Critobulus, rallied only, and not abused. And Alcibiades again was smart on Socrates, as his rival in Agatho’s affection. Kings are pleased when jests are put upon them as if they were private and poor men. Such was the flatterer’s to Philip, who chided him: Sir, don’t I keep you? For those that mention faults of which the persons are not really guilty intimate those virtues with which they are really adorned. But then it is requisite that those virtues should be evident and certainly belong to them; otherwise the discourse will breed disturbance and suspicion. He that tells a very rich man that he will procure him a sum of money,—a temperate sober man, and one that drinks water only, that he is foxed, or hath taken a cup too much,—a hospitable, generous, good-humored man, that he is a niggard and pinch-penny,—or threatens an excellent lawyer to meet him at the bar,— must make the persons smile and please the company. Thus Cyrus was very obliging and complaisant, when he challenged his play-fellows at those sports in which he was sure to be overcome. And Ismenias piping at a sacrifice, when no good omens appeared, the man that hired him snatched the pipe, and played very ridiculously himself; and when all found fault, he said: To play satisfactorily is the gift of Heaven. And Ismenias with a smile replied: Whilst I played, the Gods were so well pleased that they were careless of the sacrifice; but to be rid of thy noise they presently received it.

[6] Butt more, those that jocosely put scandalous names upon things commendable, if it be opportunely done, please more than he that plainly and openly commends; for those that cover a reproach under fair and respectful words (as he that calls an unjust man Aristides, a coward Achilles) gall more than those that openly abuse. Such is that of Oedipus, in Sophocles,

The faithful Creon, my most constant friend.⁷

The familiar irony in commendations answers to this on the other side. Such Socrates used, when he called the kind endeavor and industry of Antisthenes to make men friends pimping, bawds-craft, and allurement; and others that called Crates the philosopher, who wherever he went was caressed and honored, the door-opener.

[7] Again, a complaint that implies thankfulness for a received favor is pleasant raillery. Thus Diogenes of his master Antisthenes:

That man that made me leave my precious ore,

Clothed me with rags, and force. me to be poor;

That man that made me wander, beg my bread,

And scorn to have a house to hide my lead.

For it had not been half so pleasant to have said, that man that made me wise, content, and happy. And thus a Spartan, making as if he would find fault with the master of the exercises for giving him wood that would not smoke, said, He will not permit us even to shed a tear. So he that calls a hospitable man, and one that treats often, a kidnapper, and a tyrant who for a long time would not permit him to see his own table; and he whom the King hath raised and enriched, that says he had a design upon him and robbed him of his sleep and quiet. So if he that hath an excellent vintage should complain of Aeschylus’s Cabeiri for making him want vinegar, as they had jocosely threatened. For such as these have a pungent pleasantness, so that the praised are not offended nor take it ill.

[8] Besides, he that would be civilly facetious must know the difference between a vice and a commendable study or recreation; for instance, between the love of money or contention and of music or hunting; for men are grieved if twitted with the former, but take it very well if they are laughed at for the latter. Thus Demosthenes the Mitylenæan was pleasant enough when, knocking at a man’s door that was much given to singing and playing on the harp, and being bid come in, he said, I will, if you will tie up your harp. But the flatterer of Lysimachus was offensive; for being frighted at a wooden scorpion that the king threw into his lap, and leaping out of his seat, he said after he knew the humor, And I’ll fright your majesty too; give me a talent.

[9] In several things about the body too the like caution is to be observed. Thus he that is jested on for a flat or hooked nose usually laughs at the jest. Thus Cassander’s friend was not at all displeased when Theophrastus said to him, ’Tis strange, sir, that your eyes don’t sing, since your nose is so near to give them the tune; and Cyrus commanded a long hawk-nosed fellow to marry a flat-nosed girl, for then they would very well agree. But a jest on any for his stinking breath or filthy nose is irksome; for baldness it may be borne, but for blindness or infirmity in the eyes it is intolerable. It is true, Antigonus would joke upon himself, and once, receiving a petition written in great letters, he said, This a man may read if he were stark blind. But he killed Theocritus the Chian for saying,—when one told him that as soon as he appeared before the King’s eyes he would be pardoned,—Sir, then it is impossible for me to be saved. And the Byzantine to Pasiades saying, Sir, your eyes are weak, replied, You upbraid me with this infirmity, not considering that thy son carries the vengeance of Heaven on his back: now Pasiades’s son was hunch-backed. And Archippus the popular Athenian was much displeased with Melanthius for being smart on his crooked back; for Melanthius had said that he did not stand at the head of the state ( προεστάναι) but bowed down before it ( προκεκυφέναι). It is true, some are not much concerned at such jeers. Thus Antigonus’s friend, when he had begged a talent and was denied, desired a guard, lest somebody should rob him of that talent he was now to carry home. Different tempers make men differently affected, and that which troubles one is not regarded by another. Epaminondas feasting with his fellow-magistrates drank vinegar; and some asking if it was good for his health, he replied, I cannot tell that, but I know it makes me remember what I drink at home. Therefore it becomes every man that would rally, to look into the humors of his company, and take heed to converse without offence.

[10] Love, as in most things else, so in this matter causes different effects; for some lovers are pleased and some displeased at a merry jest. Therefore in this case a fit time must be accurately observed; for as a blast of wind puffs out a fire whilst it is weak and little, but when thoroughly kindled strengthens and increaseth it; so love, before it is evident and confessed, is displeased at a discoverer, but when it breaks forth and blazes in everybody’s eyes, then it is delighted and gathers strength by the frequent blasts of joke and raillery. When their beloved is present it will gratify them most to pass a jest upon their passion, but to fall on any other subject will be counted an abuse. If they are remarkably loving to their own wives, or entertain a generous affection for a hopeful youth, then are they proud, then tickled when jeered for such a love. And therefore Arcesilaus, when an amorous man in his school laid down this proposition, In my opinion one thing cannot touch another, replied, Sir, you touch this person, pointing to a lovely boy that sat near him.

[11] Besides, the company must be considered; for what a man will only laugh at when mentioned amongst his friends and familiar acquaintance, he will not endure to be told of before his wife, father, or tutor, unless perhaps it be something that will please those too; as for instance, if before a philosopher one should jeer a man for going barefoot or studying all night; or before his father, for carefulness and thrift; or in the presence of his wife, for being cold to his companions and doating upon her. Thus Tigranes, when Cyrus asked him, What will your wife say when she hears that you are put to servile offices? replied, Sir, she will not hear it, but be present herself and see it.

[12] Again, those jokes are accounted less affronting which reflect somewhat also on the man that makes them; as when one poor man, base-born fellow, or lover jokes upon another. For whatever comes from one in the same circumstances looks more like a piece of mirth than a designed affront; but otherwise it must needs be irksome and distasteful. Upon this account, when a slave whom the King had lately feed and enriched behaved himself very impertinently in the company of some philosophers, asking them, how it came to pass that the broth of beans, whether white or black, was always green, Aridices putting another question, why, let the whips be white or not, the wales and marks they made were still red, displeased him extremely, and made him rise from the table in a great rage and discontent. But Amphias the Tarsian, who was supposed to be sprung from a gardener, joking upon the governor’s friend for his obscure and mean birth, and presently subjoining, But ’tis true, I sprung from the same seed, caused much mirth and laughter. And the harper very facetiously put a check to Philip’s ignorance and impertinence; for when Philip pretended to correct him, he cried out, God forbid, sir, that ever you should be brought so low as to understand these things better than I. For by this seeming joke he instructed him without giving any offence. Therefore some of the comedians seem to lay aside their bitterness in every jest that may reflect upon themselves; as Aristophanes, when he is merry upon a bald-pate; and Cratinus in his play Pytine upon drunkenness and excess.

[13] Besides, you must be very careful that the jest should seem to be extempore, taken from some present question or merry humor; not far fetched, as if premeditate and designed. For as men are not much concerned at the anger and debates among themselves at table while they are in the midst of their cups, but if any stranger should come in and offer abuse to any of the guests, they would hate and look upon him as an enemy; so they will easily pardon and indulge a jest if undesignedly taken from any present circumstance; but if it is nothing to the matter in hand but fetched from another thing, it must look like a design and be resented as an affront. Such was that of Timagenes to the husband of a woman that often vomited,— Thou beginnest thy troubles when thou bringest home this vomiting woman,⁸—saying τήνδ’ ἐμοῦσαν ( this vomiting woman), when the poet had written τήνδε Μοῦσαν ( this Muse); and also his question to Athenodorus the philosopher,—Is the affection to our children natural For when the raillery is not founded on some present circumstance. it is an argument of ill-nature and a mischievous temper; and such as delight in jests like these do often for a mere word, the lightest thing in the world (as Plato says), suffer the heaviest punishment. But those that know how to time and apply a jest confirm Plato’s opinion, that to rally pleasantly and facetiously is the business of a scholar and a wit.

Notes on the current edition

Συμποσιακῶν προβλημάτων βιβλία

1. ὃ Basileensis: ὃν

2. Ξενοφῶν] Cyrop. 5, 2, 18 ib. em. M: παραβέβληκε

3. ἃ] οἶα X

4. ἐσκωπτον δ’ ἃ *: 5 Vd 10 E

5. ἃ] οἶα X

6. κάλλιον ἢ μή *: και 6 Vd 12 E

7. λυποῦσι *: 7 Vd 5 P soli

8. ἔφης W: ἔφυ aut ἔφη

9. ἔφης idem: ἔφησεν

10. malim ἀποκρίνεσθαι

11. ἢ μὴ Iannotius: οἱ μὴ

12. κινδυνεύουσιν] corr. vid. συνδιανεύουσιν i. e. ἀμφιγνοοῦσιν, ἀμφιβάλλουσιν

13. καὶ] καὶ τὸ R

14. em. R: περιττοὶ

15. Εὐριπίδης] Nauck p. 413

16. τοῦτο mei

17. ib. *: εἶπ’ ἄγ’ ἐμʼ

18. Hom. K 544

19. ὅππως *: ὅπως δὴ

20. αὐτοὺς iidem

21. malim τις ἂλλος

22. καὶ οἶον βιαζόμενοι *: 7-8 Vd 9 E ζόμενοι

23. ἡδέως - μέγα Turnebus: 5-6 Vd 9 E γοῦν ἐρωτῶνται 4-5 Vd 9 E πρεσβείων καὶ 5-6 Vd 7 E πολιτειῶν 3-4 Vd 5 E μέγα

24. οἱ] ὡς mei

25. ἄλλος τις ἔρηται Cobetus: ἄλλο 6 Vd 7 E ται

26. χαρίζονται M. Malim ἐρωτῶντας ἔστι χαρίζεσθαι

27. Ἀλκίνῳ?

28. ἐπετέτραπτο mei

29. Hom. ι 12

30. ἐπεγείρειν X ex Sophocle: 3-4 Vd 6 E γειρεν

31. Soph. O C 510

32. μεμνῆσθαι *: 4 Vd 8 E; nihil aliud nisi μεμνῆσθαι supplendum esse et lac. ostendit et verba proxima

33. lac. 25 Vd 36 E. Fort. τῷ σωθέντι μόνον εἴρηκεν ἀλλ’ οὐ τοῖς ἔτι cett.

34. καὶ κακὰ] καινὰς mei. κἀνίας?

35. post βήματος suppleverim ἢ πρεσβεύσαντες εὐτύχησαν cf. Macrob. 7, 2, 11

36. μαθήμασιν ἢ *: μαθήμασι

37. ἐρωτῷτο Duebnerus: ἐρωτῶνται mei. ἐρωτῷτο ἂν S

38. Hom. γ 247

39. puncta add. Duebnerus

40. ἦν mei

41. puncta add. Duebnerus

42. ἡ *: ἢ

43. προιέμενος R

44. τἀναγκαῖον *: τὸ ἀναγκαῖον

45. γὰρ] om. mei

46. lac. 6-7 Vd E. τοῖς διαλέγεσθαι δεινοῖς W. τοῖς διαλέγεσθαι δυναμένοις?

47. lac. 3-4 soli Vd P. Fort. τοῖς ἄλλως φλυαροῦσι

48. δῆλον γὰρ - τὸ σκῶμμα *: 2 Vd 7 E ὅτι δ’ ὅλως τὸ 3 Vd 4 E ματι προσέσται 4 Vd. 7 E τὸ σκῶμμα

49. lac. 4-5 Vd 9 E. Suppleverim ὄνειδος δοκεῖ φανερὸν vel ὕβρισμα δοκεῖ (aut λέγομεν) φανερὸν

50. καὶ] scr. vid. κού Cf. Macrob. 7, 3, 2-6

51. βέλη Basileensis: μέλη

52. scr. vid. καὶ λυπεῖ τοὺς σκ. ἥπερ τέρψις τῇ κομψότητι καθηδύνει τοὺς παρόντας. cf. Kock. 2 p. 354 fr. 156

53. em. Duebnerus: πιστεύειν 4-5 Vd 12 E διασύρειν

54. ὀνειδισμὸς Turnebus: 3 Vd 6 E σμος

55. ib. τῆς *: 2 Vd 7-8 E

56. Turnebus: παρε 4-5 Vd 15 E σκῶμμα

57. malim βαδίζοι

58. em. R: συνυβριζομένους

59. ἓν δὲ] fort. ἓν δ’ ἐν aut ἐν δὲ

60. ἐδόκει] εὐδοκίμει?

61. ἐπαυετο Cobetus

62. λυπεῖν mei

63. Ξενοφῶν] Cyrop. 2, 2, 28

64. Κυητοῦ] Κυίντου X ex Macrobio 7, 3, 15 sed cf. Patzig. Quaestt. Plutarch. p. 48

65. Σωκράτην] cf. Plat. Symp. p. 213 c

66. κυμινοπρίστην X: κύμινον

67. Κῦρος] Xen. Cyrop. 1, 4, 4

68. μισθωτὴς *: μισθωτὸς

69. ἐκεῖνος καλλιερήσας*

70. καὶ ὁ] ὃ καὶ mei

71. post Οἰδίπους lac. est 6-7 Vd 10 E. Fort. suppl. λέγων ‘ταύτης cett.

72. ἀρχῆς X: 6 Vd 7 E χης

73. εἰρωνείας εἶναι *: εἶναι εἰρωνείας

74. καὶ συναγωγίαν] del. W

75. προαγωγείαν idem e Xen. Symp. 4, 52: ἀγωγίαν Ceterum post ὀνομάσας magna est lac. 46 Vd 53 E. Fort. excidit locus quidam Xenophonteus

76. ῥάκη] κάρη mei

77. Nauck p. 914

78. malim καὐτάρκη

79. ἐν ἡμῖν mei

80. καὶ ὁ Madvigius: καὶ

81. Nauck. p. 32

82. post ἠπείλησαν reponendum locum de Epaminonda p. 633 e censet W

83. em. Basileensis: λυσίου

84. σιμὸν ἀγ. γύναιον addidi ex Cyrop. 8, 4, 21

85. φήσαντός τινος - σωτηρίαν *: φήσαντος τῆ ὀφθαλμοὺς ἂν 5 Vd 7 E ραγένηι σωθῆ ἀλλ’ ἅμα εἶπεν ἀδυνάτου τὰ ὑπὸ τὴν ὀριαν

86. Λέων Basileensis. Sed potius vid. supplendum: ὁ [ δὲ Λέων ὁ] Βυζάντιος

87. διʼ X: δὲ

88. em. Amyotus: κεκυφέναι

89. προστάξας] προσέτι δόξας W

90. μὲν] μὲν οὖν?

91. πῦρ] πνεῦμα R

92. πνεῦμα] πῦρ idem

93. μεταδόσεως] ὑποθέσεως M. θέσεως R. μεταξὸ θέσεως W

94. οὐδὲ Turnebus: ὁ δὲ

95. τὸ λεγόμενον idem

96. τις X: 2 Vd 6 E

97. παρούσης] om. mei

98. Τιγράνης] Cyrop. 3, 1, 43

99. ὅταν] οἶον ὅταν R

100. λέγῃ] scr. vid. ψέγῃ sed cf. p. 632 b

101. ἔρωτα R: ἐρῶντα

102. Ἀριδίκης] cf. Athen. p. 420 d

103. ἐκ] ἕκ τε?

104. καὶ τῶν?

105. ἐξαναστῆναι Herwerdenus

106. περὶ] διαφερομένου περὶ? cf. p. 334c

107. φαλακρότητα] Pac. 767. 771

108. ἀπόλειψιν *: 4-5 Vd 7 E λιψιν Respicitur ad Arist. Ran. 83: ΗΡ. Ἀγάθων δὲ ποῦ ʼστιν; ΔΙ. ἀπολιπών μ’ ἀποίχεται

109. εἰς τὴν φιλοινίαν W: 4-5 Vd P nulla in E

110. δεῖ] om. mei

111. ἔξωθεν *: ἐξ ὧν

112. ἐμετικῆς Iannotius: γαμετικῆς

113. γὰρ ἄρχεις] κατάρχεις Athenaeus p. 616 c

114. Nauck. p. 914

115. φυσικὴ Anonymus: μουσικὴ

116. ἔκγονα Turnebus

117. καὶ] καὶ τὸ?

118. πρὸς τᾶς (ut legatur προστὰς) φιλοστοργίας Benselerus, sed cf. p. 493 a sq. 962 a. Iocus apparebit scribendo vel legendo ἡ πρὸς τὰ ἔκγον’ ἀφιλοστοργία

119. Πλάτωνα] Legg. p. 717 d

120. Πλάτωνι] fort. in Legg. p. 654 b sqq.

Plutarch Quaestiones Convivales 2.1

ed. Grēgorios N. Vernardakēs

Search the Perseus Catalog for:

Τίνʼ ἐστὶν ἃ Ξενοφῶν παρὰ πότον ἣδιον ἐρωτᾶσθαί φησι καὶ σκώπτεσθαι ἢ μή.

Current edition Perseus

Question I
WHAT, AS XENOPHON INTIMATES, ARE THE MOST AGREEABLE QUESTIONS AND MOST PLEASANT RAILLERY AT AN ENTERTAINMENT?
SOSSIUS SENECIO AND PLUTARCH.

Notes on the current edition

Stable identifiers

Search the Perseus Catalog for:

Search the Perseus Catalog for:

Τίνʼ ἐστὶν ἃ Ξενοφῶν παρὰ πότον ἣδιον ἐρωτᾶσθαί φησι καὶ σκώπτεσθαι ἢ μή.

Current edition Perseus

Question I WHAT, AS XENOPHON INTIMATES, ARE THE MOST AGREEABLE QUESTIONS AND MOST PLEASANT RAILLERY AT AN ENTERTAINMENT? SOSSIUS SENECIO AND PLUTARCH.

Notes on the current edition

Stable identifiers

Question I
WHAT, AS XENOPHON INTIMATES, ARE THE MOST AGREEABLE QUESTIONS AND MOST PLEASANT RAILLERY AT AN ENTERTAINMENT?
SOSSIUS SENECIO AND PLUTARCH.