Plutarch, Quomodo adulator ab amico internoscatur, ed. William W. Goodwin, 2

Search the Perseus Catalog for:

← Previous Next →

[2] Did flattery, indeed, as most other misfortunes do, generally or altogether wait on the debauched and ignoble part of mankind, the mischief were of less consequence, and might admit of an easier prevention. But, as worms breed most in sweet and tender woods, so usually the most obliging, the most brave and generous tempers readiliest receive and longest entertain the flattering insect that hangs and grows upon them. And since, to use Simonides’s expression, it is not for persons of a narrow fortune, but for gentlemen of estates, to keep a good stable of horses; so never saw we flattery the attendant of the poor, the inglorious and inconsiderable plebeian, but of the grandees of the world, the distemper and bane of great families and affairs, the plague in kings’ chambers, and the ruin of their kingdoms. Therefore it is a business of no small importance, and one which requires no ordinary circumspection, so to be able to know a flatterer in every shape he assumes, that the counterfeit resemblance some time or other bring not true friendship itself into suspicion and disrepute. For parasites,—;like lice, which desert a dying man, whose palled and vapid blood can feed them no longer,—; never intermix in dry and insipid business where there is nothing to be got; but prey upon a noble quarry, the ministers of state and potentates of the earth, and afterwards lousily shirk off, if the greatness of their fortune chance to leave them. But it will not be wisdom in us to stay till such fatal junctures, and then try the experiment, which will not only be useless but dangerous and hurtful; for it is a deplorable thing for a man to find himself then destitute of friends, when he most wants them, and has no opportunity either of exchanging his false and faithless friend for a fast and honest one. And therefore we should rather try our friend, as we do our money, whether or not he be passable and current, before we need him. For it is not enough to discover the cheat to our cost, but we must so understand the flatterer, that he put no cheat upon us; otherwise we should act like those who must needs take poison to know its strength, and foolishly hazard their lives to inform their judgment. And as we cannot approve of this carelessness, so neither can we of that too scrupulous humor of those who, taking the measures of true friendship only from the bare honesty and usefulness of the man, immediately suspect a pleasant and easy conversation for a cheat. For a friend is not a dull tasteless thing, nor does the decorum of friendship consist in sourness and austerity of temper, but its very port and gravity is soft and amiable,—;

Where Love and all the Graces do reside.¹

For it is not only a comfort to the afflicted,

To enjoy the courtesy of his kindest friend,²

as Euripides speaks; but friendship extends itself to both fortunes, as well brightens and adorns prosperity as allays the sorrows that attend adversity. And as Evenus used to say that fire makes the best sauce, so friendship, wherewith God has seasoned the circumstances of our mortality, gives a relish to every condition, renders them all easy, sweet, and agreeable enough. And indeed, did not the laws of friendship admit of a little pleasantry and good humor, why should the parasite insinuate himself under that disguise? And yet he, as counterfeit gold imitates the brightness and lustre of the true, always puts on the easiness and freedom of a friend, is always pleasant and obliging, and ready to comply with the humor of his company. And therefore it is no way reasonable either, to look upon every just character that is given us as a piece of flattery; for certainly a due and seasonable commendation is as much the duty of one friend to another as a pertinent and serious reprehension; nay indeed, a sour querulous temper is perfectly repugnant to the laws of friendship and conversation; whereas a man takes a chiding patiently from a friend who is as ready to praise his virtues as to animadvert upon his vices, willingly persuading himself that mere necessity obliged him to reprimand, whom kindness had first moved to commend.

Quomodo adulator ab amico internoscatur. Plutarch. ed. William W. Goodwin. Boston. 1874.

Sponsored by Perseus Project, Tufts University.

Funding provided by The National Endowment for the Humanities.

Current edition Perseus

How to Know a Flatterer from a Friend (English) (Plutarch. Plutarch's Morals, Vol. II. Goodwin, William W., editor; Tullie, George, translator. Boston: Little, Brown, and Company, 1874.)

Editions (1)

Πῶς ἄν τις διακρίνειε τὸν κόλακα τοῦ φίλοῦ Perseus (Plutarch. Plutarchi Chaeronensis Moralia, Vol I. Vernardakēs, Grēgorios N., editor. Leipzig: Teubner, 1888.) — 2 focus

[2] εἰ μὲν οὖν, ὡς τὰ πλεῖστα τῶν ἄλλων κακῶν, 10 κόλαξ ἥπτετο μόνον ἢ μάλιστα τῶν ἀγεννῶν καὶ φαύλων, οὐκ ἂν ἦν οὕτω δεινὸν οὐδὲ δυσφύλακτον· ἐπεὶ δʼ ὥσπερ οἱ θρῖπες ἐνδύονται μάλιστα τοῖς ἁπαλοῖς καὶ γλυκέσι ξύλοις, οὕτω τὰ φιλότιμα τῶν ἠθῶν καὶ χρηστὰ καὶ ἐπιεικῆ τὸν κόλακα δέχεται 15 49c καὶ τρέφει προσφυόμενον, ἔτι δʼ ὥσπερ ὁ Σιμωνίδης¹ τὴν ἱπποτροφίαν φησὶν οὐ Ζακύνθῳ ὀπαδεῖν ἀλλʼ ἀρούραισι πυροφόροις, οὕτω τὴν κολακείαν ὁρῶμεν οὐ πένησιν οὐδʼ ἀδόξοις οὐδʼ ἀδυνάτοις ἀκολουθοῦσαν, ἀλλʼ οἴκων τε καὶ πραγμάτων 20 μεγάλων ὀλίσθημα καὶ νόσημα γιγνομένην, πολλάκις δὲ καὶ βασιλείας καὶ ἡγεμονίας ἀνατρέπουσαν· οὐ μικρὸν ἔργον ἐστὶν οὐδὲ φαύλης δεόμενον προνοίας ἡ περὶ αὐτὴν ἐπίσκεψις, ὡς ἂν μάλιστα περίφωρος οὖσα μὴ βλάπτῃ μηδὲ διαβάλλῃ² τὴν φιλίαν. οἱ μὲν 25 γὰρ φθεῖρες ἀπίασιν ἀπὸ τῶν τελευτώντων καὶ ἀπολείπουσι 49d τὰ σώματα σβεννυμένου τοῦ αἵματος ἐξ οὗ τρέφονται, τοὺς δὲ κόλακας οὐδʼ ὅλως ἰδεῖν ἔστι πράγμασι ξηροῖς καὶ κατεψυγμένοις προσιόντας, ἀλλὰ ταῖς δόξαις καὶ ταῖς δυνάμεσιν ἐπιτίθενται καὶ αὔξονται, ταχὺ δʼ ἐν ταῖς μεταβολαῖς ὑπορρέουσιν, ἀλλὰ τὴν τότε πεῖραν οὐ δεῖ περιμένειν ἀνωφελῆ, 5 μᾶλλον δὲ βλαβερὰν καὶ οὐκ ἀκίνδυνον οὖσαν. χαλεπὴ γὰρ ἐν καιρῷ δεομένῳ φίλων ἡ τῶν μὴ φίλων αἴσθησις, ἀντικαταλλαγὴν οὐκ ἔχουσα χρηστοῦ καὶ βεβαίου πρὸς ἀβέβαιον καὶ κίβδηλον. ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ νόμισμα δεῖ τὸν φίλον ἔχειν πρὸ τῆς χρείας 10 49e δεδοκιμασμένον, μὴ ὑπὸ τῆς χρείας ἐλεγχόμενον. οὐ γὰρ δεῖ βλαβέντας αἰσθέσθαι, ἀλλʼ ὅπως μὴ βλαβῶμεν ἐμπειρίαν λαβεῖν καὶ κατανόησιν τοῦ κόλακος· εἰ δὲ μή, ταὐτὸ πεισόμεθα τοῖς αἰσθανομένοις τῷ προγεγεῦσθαι τῶν θανασίμων φαρμάκων εἰς τὴν 15 κρίσιν ἀπολλύντες ἑαυτοὺς καὶ διαφθείροντες. οὔτε γὰρ δὴ τούτους ἐπαινοῦμεν οὔθʼ ὅσοι τὸν φίλον εἰς τὸ καλὸν τιθέμενοι καὶ ὠφέλιμον οἴονται τοὺς κεχαρισμένως ὁμιλοῦντας εὐθὺς ἔχειν ἐπʼ αὐτοφώρῳ κόλακας εἰλημμένους. οὐδὲ γὰρ ἀηδὴς ὁ φίλος οὐδʼ 20 ἄκρατος, οὐδὲ τῷ πικρῷ σεμνὸν ἡ φιλία καὶ αὐστηρῷ, 49f ἀλλʼ αὐτὸ δὴ τοῦτο τὸ καλὸν καὶ τὸ σεμνὸν αὐτῆς ἡδὺ καὶ ποθούμενόν ἐστι,

πὰρ δʼ αὐτῇ Χάριτές τε καὶ Ἵμερος οἰκίʼ ἔθεντο,

καὶ οὐ δυστυχοῦντι μόνον 25

εἰς ὄμματʼ εὔνου φωτὸς ἐμβλέψαι γλυκὺ

κατʼ Εὐριπίδην,⁴ ἀλλʼ οὐδὲν ἧττον τοῖς ἀγαθοῖς ἡδονὴν ἐπιφέρουσα καὶ χάριν ἢ τῶν κακῶν ἀφαιροῦσα τὰς λύπας καὶ τὰς ἀπορίας παρέπεται. καὶ καθάπερ 50a ὁ Εὔηνος εἶπε, τῶν ἡδυσμάτων τὸ πῦρ εἶναι κράτιστον, οὕτω τῷ βίῳ μίξας τὴν φιλίαν ὁ θεὸς ἅπαντα φαιδρὰ καὶ γλυκέα καὶ προσφιλῆ ταύτης παρούσης 5 καὶ συναπολαυούσης ἐποίησεν. ἐπεὶ πῶς ἂν ὁ κόλαξ ὑπεδύετο ταῖς ἡδοναῖς, εἰ τὴν φιλίαν ἑώρα τὸ ἡδὺ μηδαμοῦ προσιεμένην; οὐκ ἔστιν εἰπεῖν. ἀλλʼ ὥσπερ τὰ ψευδόχρυσα καὶ τὰ κίβδηλα τὴν λαμπρότητα τοῦ χρυσοῦ καὶ τὸ γάνωμα μιμεῖται μόνον, οὕτως ἔοικεν 10 50b ὁ κόλαξ τοῦ φίλου τὸ ἡδὺ καὶ κεχαρισμένον ἐκμιμούμενος ἀεὶ παρέχειν ἱλαρὸν καὶ ἀνθηρὸν καὶ πρὸς μηδὲν ἀντιβαίνοντα μηδʼ ὑπεναντιούμενον ἑαυτόν, ὅθεν οὐδὲ τοὺς ἐπαινοῦντας εὐθὺς ὡς κολακεύοντας ἁπλῶς ὑφορατέον ἔπαινος γὰρ οὐχ ἧττον ἐν καιρῷ 15 ψόγου φιλίᾳ προσήκει, μᾶλλον δὲ τὸ μὲν δύσκολον ὅλως καὶ μεμψίμοιρον ἄφιλον καὶ ἀνομίλητον, τῆς δʼ ἀφθόνως καὶ προθύμως τὸν ἐπὶ τοῖς καλοῖς ἀποδιδούσης ἔπαινον εὐνοίας καὶ τὸ νουθετοῦν αὖθις καὶ παρρησιαζόμενον ἐλαφρῶς καὶ ἀλύπως ὑπομένομεν, 20 πιστεύοντες καὶ ἀγαπῶντες ὡς ἀναγκαίως ψέγοντα τὸν ἡδέως ἐπαινοῦντα. 50c

Translations (1)

How to Tell a Flatterer from a Friend Perseus (Plutarch. Moralia, Vol. I. Babbitt, Frank Cole, translator. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press; London: William Heinemann Ltd., 1927 (printing).) — 2 focus

[2] If the flatterer, then, like most other evils, attacked solely or mostly the ignoble and mean, he would not be so formidable or so hard to guard against. But the fact is, that as bore-worms make their entrance chiefly into the delicate and sweetscented kinds of wood, so it is ambitious, honest, and promising characters that receive and nourish the flatterer as he hangs upon them. Moreover, just as Simonides ¹ says,

The rearing of horses consorts not with Zacynthus, But with wheat-bearing acres,

so we observe that flattery does not attend upon poor, obscure, or unimportant persons, but makes itself a stumbling-block and a pestilence in great houses and great affairs, and oftentimes overturns kingdoms and principalities. Wherefore it is no small task, nor a matter requiring but slight foresight, to subject it to examination, so that, being thoroughly exposed, it may be prevented from injuring or discrediting friendship. Vermin depart from dying persons and forsake their bodies, as the blood, from which the vermin derive their sustenance, loses its vitality; and so flatterers are never so much as to be seen coming near where succulence and warmth are lacking, but where renown and power attend, there do they throng and thrive; but if a change come, they slink away quickly and are gone. But we must not wait until that experience shall befall, which is a thing profitless, or rather injurious and not devoid of danger. For it is cruel to discover friends that are no friends at a crucial time which calls for friends, since there is then no exchanging one that is untrustworthy and spurious for the true and trustworthy. But one’s friend, like a coin, should have been examined and approved before the time of need, not proved by the need to be no friend. For we must not wait for injury to open our eyes, but to avoid injury we must gain acquaintance with the flatterer and learn how to detect him; otherwise we shall be in the same case with those who try to learn about deadly drugs by tasting them first, and so ruin and destroy themselves in order to reach their decision. We do not, of course, commend such persons, nor again those who rate the friend as something noble and beneficial, and so imagine that all who are socially agreeable at once stand openly convicted of being flatterers. For a friend is not unpleasant or absolute, nor is it bitterness and sternness that give dignity to friendship, but this very nobility and dignity in it is sweet and desirable.

Close by its side have the Graces and Longing established their dwelling,²

and not merely for one who is in misfortune

’Tis sweet to gaze into a kind man’s eyes,

as Euripides ³ has it, but when friendship attends us, it brings pleasure and delight to our prosperity no less than it takes away the griefs and the feeling of helplessness from adversity. As Evenus ⁴ has remarked that fire is the best of sauce, so God, by commingling friendship with our life, has made everything cheerful, sweet and agreeable, when friendship is there to share in our enjoyment. Indeed, how the flatterer could use pleasures to insinuate himself, if he saw that friendship was nowhere ready to welcome what is pleasant, no man can explain. But just as false and counterfeit imitations of gold imitate only its brilliancy and lustre, so apparently the flatterer, imitating the pleasant and attractive characteristics of the friend, always presents himself in a cheerful and blithe mood, with never a whit of crossing or opposition. But that is no reason why persons who express commendation should instantly be suspected of being simply flatterers. For commendation at the right time is no less becoming to friendship than is censure, or we may express it better by saying that complaining and fault-finding generally is unfriendly and unsociable, whereas the kindly feeling that ungrudgingly and readily bestows commendation for noble acts inclines us, at some later time, cheerfully and without distress to bear admonishment and frankness of speech, since we believe, and are content, that the man who is glad to commend blames only when he must.

Notes on the current edition

How to Know a Flatterer from a Friend

1. Hesiod, Theogony, 64.

2. Eurip. Ion, 732.

Plutarch Quomodo adulator ab amico internoscatur 2

ed. William W. Goodwin

Search the Perseus Catalog for:

Current edition Perseus

Notes on the current edition

Stable identifiers